Since Betty responded so positively, here's the story based on my boss's
	joke:

	The Substitutes (A Cautionary Tale)

	or Why You Shouldn't Leave Important Matters in the Hands of Your Son and
	His Best Friend

	by rita (mommacita1@juno.com)

	Disclaimer:  I don't own the boys;  I just like to play with them.

	Rating: PG-13

	Warning:  This is an adaptation of a dirty joke my boss told me.

	It was general amnesty day on the Battlestar Galactica, the day when all
	military men and women could confess their "sins" - those dastardly deeds
	they had done that on any other day of the yahren would get them
	summarily dismissed from the Service.

	Commander Adama was hearing the reports and issuing the disciplinary
	actions.  He had a list taped to the desk he sat behind which gave
	appropriate punishments for almost all the inappropriate actions he had
	heard over the yahrens.  It was boring;  no one was going to come forward
	and say, "I murdered Sire Uri in cold blood last sleep cycle," even if
	someone had, much as Commander Adama might want to hear it.  No, it was
	the same old, same old.  "I masturbated in my viper." "I didn't disinfect
	the Deconn Room between uses after the last planet fall." "I emptied my
	laser pistol down a garbage chute, and then handed it over as used at the
	pistol range checkout." :I slept through the required annual computer
	update."

	Adama stifled a yawn as he ordered, "Turbo flush cleaning duty for one
	secton in lieu of your regular duties." He looked at the line.  It still
	stretched out the duty office door and out of sight.  Apollo and Starbuck
	were on duty this cycle and had been relegated to keeping the line
	orderly enough for people to get past in the hallway.  It occurred to
	Adama that the blond Lieutenant had never shown up *in* the line or in
	front of the desk to report any inappropriate behavior.  "Perhaps his
	definition of inappropriate is different from the rest of the galaxy's,'
	Adama thought and chuckled.  He turned the chuckle into a cough.

	Apollo, hearing his father cough, came up to him, a concerned look on his
	face.  "Are you all right, Father?" he asked.

	A light went on in Adama's head.  "Need water," he gasped, pretending to
	choke.  ""Take over here, Son."

	"But ... I don't know what punishments to give," Apollo protested.

	"All written right here," Adama rasped, tapping the list.  He hurried
	away before his dutiful son could think up any more objections.

	As he passed Starbuck, the blond grinned at him and asked, "Wouldn't it
	have been easier to just ask one of us to get you a cup of water, Sir?"

	Adama just glared at him, cleared his throat, and hurried on.

	***

	"All right, who's next?" Apollo called.  This was easier than he had
	thought.  Everything really was listed.  He listened to a female cadet
	admit she had not cleaned up the turbo flush after a too-joyous furlong
	followed by a zero-G simulator exercise.  "Turbo flush cleanup duty for
	two sectons," Apollo intoned.  "Next."

	A technician had insisted he had paid for his drinks in a crowded bar
	when he hadn't.  "Two sectons' duty as bartender's assistant," Apollo
	read off his father's list.  'How did my father know *that* would come
	up?' he wondered.

	He nearly missed the mumbled words of the shuttle pilot standing in front
	of him, head down, shuffling his feet.  "Say that again, I didn't catch
	it," Apollo requested.

	"I ... umm ... I had uh sex with ... umm my copilot."

	"Unless you forced her, or did it in front of passengers, that's not
	inappropriate behavior."

	"Umm, no sir, Captain, sir.  It uh, was in the umm utility closet at the
	back of the shuttle.  We were a lone and uh ... nobody forced nobody."

	"Then I don't think you needed to report it, Sergeant."

	"Umm, well sir, ah, you see my copilot?  He isn't a she.  That is ..."

	Apollo swallowed his laughter.  "I ... hmm ... understand.  But ..." He
	checked the list.  Nope.  This wasn't on it.  He looked along the line of
	impatient penitents to see if his father was returning.  No such luck.
	Then he spotted Starbuck still patrolling the line.  'If anyone should be
	*in* the line instead of patrolling it, Starbuck's the one." An idea came
	to him.  Standing up, he yelled, "Hey, Starbuck!"

	Starbuck, stopping in the doorway to the duty office, called back, "Yeah,
	Captain?"

	"What does my father give you for taking it up the ass?" Apollo called
	clearly.  Heads swiveled along the length of the line to catch a glimpse
	of the Lieutenant's reaction.

	Without missing a beat, the blond called back, "A six-pack of grog and
	six fumarellos." Then he turned to face his Captain.  "Why?" he called,
	"Are you gonna make me a better offer?"