I found this in my files, I don`t know who wrote it.
That`s my excuse and I`m sticking to it.

Badfic: That`s Why He`s A Captain

Date: Jan 2001
Disclaimer: I don't own them.
Feedback: er.br@sympatico.ca

Summary: A badfic challenge.

My name is Starbuck and I`m a Colonial Warrior. My best friend is
Apollo and he is a Colonial Warrior. One day Apollo came up to me
and he said he wanted to fuck me. I said ok lets do it, so we did.
Now we fuck all the time and it`s a lot of fun. I just love it when
we fuck.

But then one day we got caught fucking in the launch tube. We didn`t
know anyone was watching but they were. Someone had turned on the
monitors in the launch tube and everyone who was on the bridge saw
us fucking. Colonel Tigh came down to the launch tube and he yelled
at us and said  what do you two think you are doing. We said we got
horny and we wanted to fuck and we couldn`t make it back to Apollo`s
room so we did it here. Boy did he get mad. He made us clean the
launch tube with some tooth brushes. We did it even though we didn`t
want to, then we fucked again because we got horny because Colonel
Tigh had taken our clothes.

When we were done we had to go and get our clothes. It was cold
walking in the halls naked. Sheba saw us. She asked Apollo if he
wanted to go to her room. He asked her why and she said why do you
think. He said he didn`t want any coffee. She didn`t like that.

Then another day we got caught fucking in my viper. I fell out and
banged my head. That hurt. Reese caught us that time. He asked
Apollo if he could fuck me, and Apollo got mad and then he punched
Reese. I laughed at Reese and he ran away crying. He acts like a
bully but he`s just a cry baby that can dish it out but can`t take
it.

We`ve been caught fucking in some other places too. Commander Adama
caught us the last time. In his quarters on his desk. He got mad at
Apollo and spanked him with his belt, Apollo`s own belt I mean. Then
he told us we had to stay in Apollo`s quarters until he said we
could come out. We don`t mind that. Now we can fuck whenever we
want, and that`s all the time. Apollo told me punishment could be
fun. Boy was he right. Apollo`s always right.

I guess that`s why he`s a Captain.

The End