Title: Sins Of The Flesh
Author: Betty (er.br@sympatico.ca)
Rating: G or maybe PG
Category: Humour
Pairing: None really, but Starbuck and Apollo are sealed.
Summary: Adama lectures the warriors on their 'sins' and orders a
solution with an embarrassing turn.
Warning: One Bible passage, but it's the one that counts, see if you
can figure out what one it is. I used the NIV version.
Note: This came about because of the chat I had with Val and Karo last
night, the thing wouldn't leave me alone.


The warriors all stared, wide eyed and very frightened at their
commander as he lectured them on their off-duty activities. Not a word
was said, or sound heard from man or woman, unless they were directly
spoken to.

"It's disgusting the way you young people have been carrying on,
jumping from one bed to another with no regard to what's right or
what's wrong," he looked at his son and Starbuck "oh sure *some* of
you have made a life time commitment to each other, but what about
before you said your vows eh? Did you do the decent thing and wait for
your sealing night?"

Apollo shook his head at his father, all the while holding tight onto
his husband's shaking hand.

"No, you couldn't wait, you had to jump into bed with each other at
the first sign of any interest, rutting in the dark like animals in
heat."

Starbuck tried to slide down in his chair but Apollo pulled him back
up and whispered for him to sit up straight least it get worse.

"And the rest of you fancy flyers, as soon as Starbuck was officially
married what did you all start doing? Competing for the title of head 
womaniser that's what, and who's in the running today, is it you ensign 
Greenbeen?"

"No sir." Greenbeen squeaked.

"Oh, then maybe it's Giles, or Bojay, but who will hold the title next
secton, or the secton after that? Tell me Lt. Boomer are you thinking of 
taking over the title?"

"No one can take Starbuck's place sir." Boomer's voice quivered in
fear and Starbuck once more tried to slide under his seat.

"And no one shall try, starting today you will all start changing your
lives for the better, I have arranged for you all to receive your own
copy of The Book Of The Word, *and you will read them every morning*."

The warriors all groaned loudly.

"*SILENCE*, I will have no complaints from any of you, now you don't
have to read it cover to cover, or Book by Book, you can just pick a
passage at random, here I'll show you how."

Adama smiled sweetly at his warriors as he went to the podium and
picked up his old worn, daggit eared book. "It's simple, you just open
the book and place your finger on the page and that's your passage for
today, I'll start you off with one and when I'm done reading you can
all reflect on it's meaning."

Adama cleared his throat before beginning.

"Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest is my lover among
the young men. I delight to sit in his shade, and his fruit is sweet
to my taste."

Everyone's jaw dropped with a gasp. It was Starbuck who broke the
silence.

"Sweet? Gee I always thought it tasted kind of salty myself."

End.