Title: Reverse Roles 
by Rita
Email: mommacita1@juno.com
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: SB/Appy
Archive: Yes, please.  Just tell me where.
Series: No.
Website: Jenlmr's website

Athena paused at the entry and decided to ring rather than just keying herself 
into the officer-with-family quarters. Her thoughtfulness was met by a semi-
belligerent, "If you know the code, let yourself in.  Otherwise, go away!" 'So 
much for being polite,' she thought, as she keyed in the code.
 
Walking in, she spotted the two men she expected to see, but shook her head to 
clear it.  No, that didn't help.  There they still were.  She must have passed 
through some kind of warp-field in the entryway, because surely this was an 
alternate universe.
 
"What?" Starbuck asked, looking up from the computer screen in which he 
was apparently engrossed.  Pages of complex printout covered the work 
surface. Across the common area, Apollo didn't take his eyes from the vid-
screen. 
 
'Well, at least his personality hasn't changed,' Athena thought.  "Thanks for 
the gracious welcome," she said aloud.
 
"I'm kinda busy," Starbuck replied grumpily.  "His rhino-virus should have 
run its course a secton ago, but Cassie says he's still showing elevated 
readings, so here I am trying to keep up with his work and mine."  At Athena's 
raised eyebrow, he back-pedaled slightly.  "All right, all right, so I don't have 
any work of my own to keep up with – no reports to write if I don't have time 
to go out on patrol.  But *his* work! Thenie, I swear he's let it pile up since 
the Destruction!  And now, of course, the Comm! ander wants everything 
*stat* - or so the Colonel claims.  Maybe it's all a set up to send me to an early 
and very boring grave."
 
"Poor baby," Athena replied unsympathetically.  She turned to her brother, 
who seemed to be oblivious to the whole conversation – as well as to her 
presence.  He stared at the vid-screen, an unused box of nasal-wipes on the 
table beside him.  "Is he medicated?" she asked Starbuck, who had gone back 
to his calculations.
 
"Who, Apollo?  Nah. He was driving me more buggers than the Colonel about 
what forms needed to be done by when and how to do them, so I turned him on 
to my favorite vid channel – it's all reenactments of real life.  Got him so 
hooked he doesn't bother me at all. Forgets to eat if I don't put it in front of 
him.  Seems to have forgotten he's the responsible parental unit, too.  Which 
reminds me …"  He swiveled his chair towards a closed door.  "Hey, Boxey!  
Your homework hasn't shown up in your dad's inbox for review – what's up 
with that?"
 
The door opened and a gangly pre-teen came slouching out.  "Aw, Starbuck, 
are you gonna make me do all that stuff *again*?  You've made me do my 
homework every cycle since dad got sick!"
 
"If he doesn't, I will!" Athena affirmed.
 
"Oh, hi, Aunt Athena!" Boxey chirped more cheerfully.  "I didn't see you.  I 
think there's something wrong with Starbuck.  He's acting like dad more each 
day!"
 
Athena laughed.  "You know, Boxey, I think you're right.  But don't look at 
me for help – I think a little Apollo mixed into Starbuck wouldn't necessarily 
be a bad thing."
 
"Hey!" Both Starbuck and Boxey were mock-insulted.  Starbuck continued, 
"Watch your phrasing around the kid; he's getting old enough to understand 
double entendres."
 
Boxey smirked.  "Starbuck, we studied human sexuality last yahren.  You and 
dad can stop making sure I'm asleep anytime now."
 
Athena smothered a giggle. Starbuck threw his hands up in mock despair.  
"Apollo!" he called out, "Did you here what your little innocent just 
announced?" There was no response.  Starbuck looked at Athena and 
shrugged.  
 
Boxey snorted, which was a bad move, since it called him to Starbuck's 
attention. 
 
"You," Starbuck announced, pointing at the doorway to Boxey's room.  
"Homework.  Now.  I want it in my, I mean your dad's, inbox in 30 centons."
 
Boxey sighed and turned to go back into his room, when the hitherto mute 
Apollo suddenly exclaimed, "Starbuck!  You're a girl!"
 
"I told you he still had elevated readings," Starbuck hissed at Athena, before 
turning to Boxey.  "Boxey, go to your room now; your father's hallucinating, 
but we'll take care of it.  Maybe he does need more medication," Starbuck said 
to Athena once Boxey was back in his room. "I'd better call Cassie."
 
"No, no," Apollo interjected.  "Come see – it's on one of those reenactment 
shows – it's clearly you and you're clearly a girl!"
 
"That's it!  That's enough!" Starbuck yelled.  He lunged at Apollo, toppling 
the chair sideways and knocking them both to the floor.  "I'm your mate, your 
wingman, your lover, your nurse, but I AM *NOT* A GIRL!!!"
 
Athena had stepped over, whether to watch or to mediate was unclear, even to 
her.  But as she did, the scene on the vid-screen caught her eye.  There, 
somewhat smaller than life, was an actor who looked a good deal like her 
brother – actually, more like Zac than Apollo, she mused – and an attractively 
muscular blonde woman, both in – or, rather, mostly out of – warrior uniform 
and wrestling in a non-combative way.  Certainly far less combative than the 
actual Apollo and Starbuck were wrestling right now.  "Hey, wait, Starbuck!" 
she called out to the blond, who was straddling and choking his lover.  "Look 
at the screen."
 
Starbuck paused in throttling Apollo and looked over his shoulder.  He sat up 
and gaped. 
 
 Apollo started to wriggle out from under Starbuck, and then thought better of 
it and merely propped himself up on his elbows.  "See?" he said.  "You're a 
girl."
 
"Well, yeah," Starbuck conceded.  "But I'm sure I'm a very capable girl – in 
every way." He reached for the remote to bring up the sound and felt 
something attached to the warm power source.  "What's this?" he asked, 
turning the remote over.  He ripped a sensor free and dangled it in Apollo's 
face.
 
To Athena's well-tuned ears, Starbuck sounded dangerously calm and quiet.  
'Time to leave, Thenie,' she told herself.  "I'll just let myself out," she said 
aloud and suited action to word.
 
"That?" Apollo asked innocently.
 
"This." Starbuck confirmed.
 
"Umm…"
 
"Looks like the med-sensor that transmits your readings to Life Center." 
Starbuck guessed.
 
"Could be," Apollo replied sliding back to a horizontal position.
 
"Couldn't be you were … enhancing your readings until the quartile-end 
reports were finished and the rolling schedule for the rest of the yahren was 
submitted, could it?"
 
"Starbuck!" Apollo tried to sound insulted.  "That's *your* kind of thinking, 
not mine.  I've *never* cheated in my life. It must have gotten stuck onto the 
remote accidentally."
 
Starbuck looked from Apollo to the tape dangling from the sensor and back 
again. "Accidentally.  Right."  Apollo tried to look innocent.  Starbuck 
appraised him.  "Nope.  You've got the words right, but you haven't got the 
look right.  Even Greenbean could tell you were lying. This is the look you 
should try for."  Starbuck's expression turned to one a cherub would be proud 
of, then back to his usual smirk.  "See?"
 
"No, really, I wasn't trying to get out of doing the reports?" Apollo insisted.
 
"No?" Starbuck paused and considered.  "Okay, then: prove it."
 
"Prove it?"
 
"Prove it," Starbuck reiterated, leaning forward onto Apollo's chest.  "Prove 
that your readings are elevated."  His eyes gleamed.  "Prove how *hot* you 
are."
 
"Oh." Apollo's eyes had a matching gleam as he locked his legs around 
Starbuck's body.  "Well, okay.  But you know you're risking me having a 
relapse."
 
"The frakking report and plan are both done," Starbuck growled, allowing 
himself to be captured.  "So I deserve a reward – a really good one."
 
"Do you now?" Apollo said, reversing their positions so that Starbuck was 
pinned.  "I suppose I do need to exercise to build up my strength …"  Noting 
that the fallen chair hid them from the rest of the common area, Ap! ollo 
rubbed his body along Starbuck's length until the blond was squirming and 
making odd mewling sounds.  
 
Observing silently from the door to his room, Boxey grinned.  'Guess I won't 
have to do that ol' boring homework after all.'