Restored
by rita (mommacita1@juno.com)

ARCHIVE = Yes

WARNING! This story has intense scenes involving semi-consensual sex. Also
consensual m/m sex. NC-17.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own 'em, I just like to play with 'em.

Many, many thanks to my beta reader, Melissa. This would not have been half
so good, nor half so consistent had she not read and reread and commented.
Thanks, Melissa!

NOTES:
This story takes place several sectons after the events in "Lost!" and
makes reference to characters, but not episodes, from G80 and characters,
but not story lines, from the novels.

The following symbols are used:

"xxx" - Something said out loud.
'xxx' - Something thought (silently).
//xxx// - a memory or flashback, happening in someone's head, not shared
aloud.

And now on to our story:

Apollo walked into his quarters imagining how good a full body massage from
Starbuck would feel to his tired muscles. The scene that greeted him as he
walked in did not match the one in his mind's eye. In the cooking alcove,
Starbuck was on hands and knees between Dillon and Troy. Troy leaned back
against the cabinets, elbows on the counter, while Starbuck's talented
mouth and tongue worked on his penis. Dillon stood behind Starbuck, holding
the eating bar for support as Starbuck rocked back and forth on his rod.

Anger filled Apollo. This was the third time in one secton. Grabbing Dillon
by the shoulders he yanked him out of Starbuck, eliciting a yelp, more of
surprise than pain, from both men. Apollo roared, "This isn't a whorehouse
and Starbuck's not your whore!"

Dillon's mouth got the better of him. "No, I guess he's just *your* whore,
huh, Commander?"

Apollo shoved Dillon behind him, where he stumbled backwards into the door,
pulling his pants together.

Apollo stepped menacingly toward the remaining two. Starbuck was turned,
mouth still open, towards him. Troy was tucking himself into his pants.
Apollo booted Starbuck in the hip, skidding him into the corner cabinets
with a crash. Starbuck was wise enough to remain where he landed. Troy took
advantage of Apollo's momentary distraction to slide past them to the
entry.

Apollo turned and yelled, "Get out!" Dillon wasted no time in obeying, but
Troy turned and looked past Apollo at Starbuck. When Starbuck shook his
head and nodded toward the door, Troy, too, exited, with one last glance at
the naked man in the corner. He remembered all too clearly his father's
tendency to take out his anger on his lifemate, but there was nothing he
could do about it without Starbuck's consent.

Apollo turned to his lover. "Slut," he cried, backhanding him in the face
hard enough to send the side of his head into the cabinet. "Whore!"
Starbuck's full erection enraged Apollo further, even though he knew it was
the result of 20 yahrens' training to respond to pain with arousal. He
grasped the throbbing organ, squeezing and twisting until Starbuck cried
out.

Starbuck wouldn't, couldn't, fight back, but he curled into a defensive
ball, trying to prevent serious injury. Another kick, this one to
Starbuck's buttocks turned the man's back fully towards Apollo. Apollo
yanked him up by his hair, throwing him over the counter, then he took him
hard, with no preparation other than whatever remained from Dillon. He came
twice and would have continued if his own penis had not softened and slid
out. He substituted his fist and continued the pummeling until his anger
was vented.

Released, Starbuck slid bonelessly to the floor, then rolled over,
painfully propping himself against the cabinets, and watched his lover
warily.

Apollo cleaned his hands and penis at the sink then redressed himself.
Finally, he turned and met Starbuck's stare. "You all right?" he asked.

"Sore," Starbuck responded. "And bruised. You didn't break anything."
Speaking with his bleeding mouth hurt, and his hip was already purpling.
He'd walk and sit carefully for a while, and he doubted either end of his
alimentary canal would appreciate solid food for a few cycles, but he'd
been in much worse condition. He was also painfully hard, and he didn't
dare ease it himself, but he knew his erection spoke for itself as it
throbbed in his lap.

Apollo grunted and turned away from the visible evidence of his loss of
control. "I'm going to bed," he announced. Exhaustion took him before guilt
could keep him awake. Starbuck didn't move from the corner of the cooking
area; eventually, sleep overtook him, too.

***

The sound of the outer door opening and closing woke Apollo. He wondered if
it was the sound of Starbuck leaving him. 'It would serve me right if he
did,' he thought. Then he heard voices. His son's concerned whisper
followed by his lover's soft response. Troy's voice turned angry;
Starbuck's remained soft and placating. Apollo sighed and grabbed a robe
before leaving the bedroom.

Starbuck was standing, leaning heavily against the eating bar. Troy had a
supporting hand on one arm. Apollo approached and stopped at the other side
of the bar. Troy glared at his father, who met his angry stare with one of
his own. Starbuck pulled free of Troy's hand and backed into the corner,
watching both of them.

After a few microns' silence, Starbuck said, "I'll make breakfast." He
turned and bent to get a pan, revealing the extent of the previous night's
damage.

"Oh, gods," Apollo groaned. Troy's breath caught in a hiss of dismay.
Starbuck's buttocks and scrotum were black and blue, mottled with dried
blood and semen. His anus was still distended and several angry red cracks
were clearly visible as he bent over. One hip was swollen and discolored,
matching his jawline on the same side.

Starbuck looked over his shoulder at the sounds. "What?" he asked, then
realized what they were responding to. He put the pan on the heater and
turned. "It looks worse than it is," he quickly assured the men. "Troy woke
me and I didn't have a chance to clean up. I'm fine, really."

Troy looked skeptical, but Apollo merely said, "Go get cleaned up, then.
I'll make breakfast."

Starbuck hesitated, then asked, "Would it be all right if I got dressed,
too?"

Apollo grimaced. "You don't have to ask, Starbuck. Of course it's all
right. Go on, now." He softened his words with an encouraging smile, one
which he didn't really feel. Starbuck nodded and padded into the bedroom.

As he went through the motions of preparing breakfast under his son's
silent scrutiny, Apollo's heart was breaking. Starbuck had slept naked and
uncovered on the hard, cold floor, his injuries unattended, while Apollo
slept soundly in the comfortable bed. He could see in his lover's face that
all the progress Starbuck had made towards believing himself worthy of love
was gone. As he set the table and put a cushion on Starbuck's chair, he
glanced up at Troy.

Troy said nothing as he watched Apollo's agonizing realization set in. Troy
noted that Apollo prepared only liquid nutrients, reducing the pressed
grains that they usually crunched with cold lactate to mush with steamed
lactate and quick-cooking and pureeing fruit. Troy realized that Apollo had
specially prepared a breakfast that would provide Starbuck with the energy
he needed without adding to his pain and injuries.

Starbuck returned and lowered himself carefully onto the cushioned seat,
wincing as he set his weight down despite the softness. He, too, noticed
the effort Apollo had gone to and gratefully took full portions of each
dish. Troy let him eat in peace, helping himself only to kaffe. When the
meal was winding down, he finally spoke. "Starbuck, I think you should stay
with me and Dillon for a few cycles."

Starbuck looked up, startled. His eyes went from Troy to Apollo then back
to Troy. His expression faded to a blank mask as he replied formally,
"That's not necessary, Commander. I'll apply for temporary lodging in the
bachelor dorm. Until I can find something permanent." He rose, addressing
Apollo. "It won't take me long to clear out. I'll just pack my uniforms and
be gone."

"Starbuck," Apollo began, but his lover cut him off.

"It's okay, Commander," he said softly, not turning his head. "I knew it
couldn't last. I knew you'd figure out after a while that I'm not worth the
effort. I'm grateful you kept me this long." Before he lost the tight
control he had over his emotions, he left the table for the bedroom.

Apollo looked at Troy for explanation. "He just can't take any more,
Father," Troy said. "One of these days you're going to really hurt him,
because he won't defend himself against you, and he loves you too much to
let that happen. He's not worried about himself, just about how you'd blame
yourself. He really believes he deserves what you do to him." Troy looked
away. "What we *all* do to him. He thinks that's all he's good for - that
and piloting a viper."

"I know," Apollo said softly. "I thought I was making some headway at
showing him that wasn't true. But I guess I was just convincing myself." He
put his head in his hands. "I can't let him go, Troy. I've got to try to
keep him somehow."

Troy turned angry. "Why? To use as a punching bag when you've had a bad
cycle or something doesn't go your way?"

Starbuck's firm voice startled both of them. "Leave him alone, Troy. I
broke a promise - one I shouldn't have made because I knew I couldn't keep
it. I had this coming to me." Starbuck stood in the living area just beyond
the bedroom, a small carry-all in hand.

Troy exchanged glances with Apollo, suddenly understanding how much more
complex his father's relationship was with his lifemate than his and
Dillon's was. "I guess I'll be going now," Troy said rising.

"I'll walk with you, if you don't mind," Starbuck offered, stepping towards
the door.

Troy was about to acquiesce, when Apollo spoke, "Could you stay a few
centons, Starbuck. There are some things we need to discuss."

Starbuck paused and put down his sack near the door. "Yes, of course.
Unsealing and things like that. I won't cause any trouble about it. I
didn't bring anything into our sealing and I won't ask to take anything out
of it. You want me to sign something?"

Apollo started to deny all that Starbuck had just said, then thought better
of it. It was a good way to keep him here a little longer. "Something like
that. Why don't we sit down to talk?" He gestured to the couch in the
living area and Starbuck nodded.

Troy let himself out quietly, still a little concerned for Starbuck's
safety, but understanding that there was nothing he could do about it just
then.

Apollo sat on the couch and Starbuck knelt next to him, leaning on his
uninjured hip. "Starbuck," Apollo began, "Come and sit next to me. This is
part of the problem: you act like my sex slave."

To Apollo's surprise, Starbuck began to laugh. "No, Apollo. I'm more
comfortable this way, with my weight off my injuries. I was actually more
comfortable without clothes on, too, but I figured you and Troy would get
upset every time you looked at me. And now," he shrugged and sobered, "it
doesn't seem appropriate anymore."

Apollo responded softly. "If you'd be more comfortable, go ahead. I won't
take advantage of the situation."

Starbuck rose to kneel facing Apollo then, and placed his hands on his
lover's knees. "You've never taken advantage of me. Don't let anyone tell
you that. This is what I am. All I can give you is my self, and, frankly,
it's not enough. I can't keep promises about my body. If someone asks, I
can't say no. You told me I don't belong to you. If I did, I could say, 'I
belong to Apollo. You have to ask him.' But if it's up to me," another
shrug, "I don't say no because my experience is that when I do, I get taken
anyway and it's all the worse for my having refused. With Dillon and Troy I
don't mind anyway." He relaxed back onto his uninjured hip, still facing
Apollo. After a moment of gauging his lover's mood, he carefully removed
his clothes, sighing in relief when his bruises were no longer being
irritated.

After a time, Apollo asked, "Do you want to stay?"

Starbuck hesitated, then answered, "I'm no good for you. I make you do
things you're ashamed of and feel guilty about. I'll never be your equal,
and that's what you want in a lifemate."

Apollo thought about Starbuck's response, then repeated, "Do you want to
stay?"

"I don't want to be used anymore - and that's all that's out there for me,"
Starbuck gestured at the door and all that lay beyond it. "But I wouldn't
want to be your equal if I could. I want you to be in charge." He paused
and carefully considered his next words. "I really don't think it's
Baltar's training. Setting all my bad experiences aside, I just want to
belong to you."

"Do you want to stay?"

Finally Starbuck answered the question. "Yes. I want to stay here, like
this," he moved to his usual position, with his head leaning against
Apollo's thigh, and indicated his naked body. "I want to stay here - with
you making sure that the only one who gets my body is you." Apollo nodded
and stroked his lover's hair, encouraging him to continue. "If everyone
knows I belong to you, you won't have to keep proving it by hurting me.
We'll both feel sure of each other and we won't need that."

Apollo drew in a breath of startled realization. "You're right. We just
have to find a way to make sure everyone knows you're only for me." He
kissed the top of Starbuck's head.

Shyly, Starbuck offered, "I have some ideas. But I don't know how you'll
take them."

Apollo stroked him reassuringly again. "Why don't you put your things away.
Then I'm going to bathe you and see if I can't make you feel a little
better. While I'm doing that, you can tell me what you have in mind."

***

"Why should I accept Sire Uri's invitation? I've refused him ever since he
was kicked off the Council. Why should I accept now?" Apollo demanded.

"You know he keeps sex slaves?" Starbuck answered the question with a
question.

'That's part of why I refuse to go to his parties."

"Do you know who they are?"

"No, how could I?"

"Exactly. You should. Your father could name every one of them, giving
lineage, rank or title, placement within the Fleet, and relative strategic
importance."

"My father?! My father went to Sire Uri's functions?"

"Always. His. Siress Blassie's. Your father rarely declined an invitation.
There was too much to be learned at such *social* events. He never told
you?"

Apollo blushed and shook his head. There was a great deal his father hadn't
had the opportunity to tell him. He glanced at his own son. He and Starbuck
had agreed that when they discussed how they were going to move forward
with their relationship, especially since they had agreed that they
wouldn't be on equal terms, they would have a witness. Troy, already
knowing as much as he did, was the obvious choice. "He told you?"

"Well, yeah, kind of. He hinted at the importance of - let's see, how did
he put it? - 'Setting aside one's personal prejudices in the interests of
the greater community.' But I never followed through,." Troy admitted.

"Oh." Apollo was nonplused. He turned back to Starbuck. "And you would know
about this because?"

It was Starbuck's turn to blush. "He took me along. I mean, I wasn't
*really* his sex slave, but I knew how to act the part and when there were,
umm, games or something ..." he stopped and shrugged. "Well, he had someone
he could trust. He knew I didn't mind. Truth is, I would have done it for
real if that's what he wanted."

"How long?" Apollo asked in a hushed voice.

"Long before the Destruction. Those functions were where the real politics
got done. I wonder who he took after I wasn't there."

"Tigh."

"Tigh!" Apollo said, simultaneously with Starbuck's "Oh, no!"

"Why 'oh, no'?" Troy asked, honestly curious.

"He made it clear he didn't want Tigh at those things."

"Why not," Apollo asked.

Troy answered before Starbuck could. "I suspect for the same reason you
don't like Dillon and me to be with Starbuck - he didn't want to share."

Starbuck nodded, but Apollo couldn't seem to grasp it. "My father and
Colonel Tigh?" Suddenly he did understand. "Then I certainly don't want to
go. I won't have you - doing whatever Uri thinks is cute."

Starbuck shook his head. "We're not going for that reason. Although it's
not a bad idea, I doubt Uri's the one you should be keeping tabs on at this
point. But he's the extreme. And that's where you'll see the extremes of
Master/slave. I want you to go and watch how the Masters and Mistresses
behave; how they treat their slaves. Nothing ever happens at the party
itself; what you're worried about - trading and sharing and games - all
happens in side rooms. When the Commander used me that way, it was only to
get specific information, when something crucial was about to come down.
Otherwise, we would just stay in the main function room. But there's an
attitude I want you to see."

"Once. I'll do this once." Apollo turned and pressed the accept button on
the invitation displayed on his monitor. "And then what? I'm supposed to
act like them?"

Starbuck smiled. "I don't think you could pull that off if you tried - no
offense, Commander. No. After that I want you to look around when you're in
the Officer's Mess, the Lounge, the Rising Star. See if you notice things
you didn't before."

"Like what?"

Starbuck continued smiling. "Uh,uh. That would be telling."

***

"Colonel, I'd like to see you in my quarters when you get off shift."

Starbuck turned to Troy with a puzzled look on his face, then looked over
his shoulder at Apollo. Apollo frowned and shrugged. Starbuck turned back
to the younger Commander, his expression blank, only his eyes betraying his
nervousness. "Of course, Commander," he replied. "I'll be off duty in three
centares. Is that convenient for you?"

"Yes, I'll be waiting." Troy turned on his heel and strode away from the
two older men.

Apollo came up behind his lover and put his hands on his shoulders. "What
was that about?" he asked, trying not to sound jealous.

Starbuck turned in his arms and looked directly at him, willing Apollo to
believe his words. "I have no idea, Apollo. I swear it."

Apollo stepped back and silently appraised the man in front of him. "All
right," he said finally. "I expect you'll be able to tell me when you get
home tonight."

"Of course," Starbuck replied faintly. He couldn't blame Apollo. He had
been unfaithful to his soulmate with Apollo's son and *his* lover too many
times. And he also knew he wouldn't be able to refuse them if they asked
this time either. He would honestly tell Apollo what happened and face his
punishment. Apollo deserved nothing less; Starbuck deserved nothing more.

***

"Well, that was quick," Apollo observed, looking up from his desk. Starbuck
hurried across their living area, opening his shirt as he headed to the
bedroom to remove his clothes. "You still owe me an explanation," Apollo
continued.

Starbuck stopped in his tracks and finished stripping where he stood,
removing a small package from his belt pouch as he undressed. Naked, he
held the package out to Apollo. "Troy found this for me," he said as Apollo
turned the old, but sturdily wrapped package over in his hands.

"What is it?" Apollo asked.

"It's one of the outfits I used to wear when I accompanied the Commander
to, uhh, social functions." There was no need for Starbuck to clarify that
he meant Commander Adama; he was 'the Commander' to all of them, even in
death.

"How did Troy know what it was? It's completely sealed."

"I asked him if he had any of the Commander's belongings and, when he said
he did, I described what I thought he might have saved. See, it says 'SB -
blue'." Starbuck pointed out the faded script.

Apollo raised an eyebrow for permission and, at Starbuck's nod, carefully
opened the package, shaking out a variety of small, blue objects, all of
them exactly matching his lover's eyes. He handled them carefully, one by
one, recognizing only the silk mesh thong underwear. "Okay," he said,
handing the pile to Starbuck, "I know a thong when I see one, even if it
has chains instead of straps, but what are the rest of these things?"

"Hmm. Well, these are nipple clamps, this is a navel jewel, and this is a
butt plug. They all interconnect by the chains into two pieces."

Apollo licked his dry lips. "*Father* bought these for you?" His voice
squeaked.

"Yeah, I mean, I had to look the part and I was doing it on assignment for
him. And, well, I couldn't very well keep them in my locker in the bachelor
dorm, could I?"

Apollo didn't reply, instead he returned to his questioning. "This is one
of the outfits, you said?" At Starbuck's nod, Apollo asked, "There are
others?"

"Two others. Troy said he thinks he's seen them, too, but this was the
first one he found. I'm sure he'll give you the others if you want them."

"Are they the same?"

"Not exactly. One's all sheer skin-tone gauze and the other is white bovine
hide. The configurations are different. The sheer one is all cloth: pouch,
loincloth, wristlets, anklets, and necklet; it's meant to confine but not
bruise. The hide outfit has a bone dildo, and scrotum sack, combined with a
cock ring." Starbuck's voice faded as he described them, his body
remembering the feel of each piece. He was hard and tight by the time he
finished.

Apollo's body matched his lover's in arousal. "Put it on," he rasped,
gesturing at the various items in Starbuck's hands. Starbuck turned to
enter the bedroom, but Apollo stopped him with a hand gripping his arm
hard. "No. Here. In front of me. Put them on."

Starbuck flushed, then paled, but nodded. He placed the pile on the floor,
then straightened, rubbing and pinching his nipples until they were hard
cylinders that could be grasped by the pincers of the nipple clamps. He
opened the clamps and placed them, wincing as they bit into the tender skin
at the base of his nipples. The blue ceramic hid cruel metal from view. He
carefully threaded the end of each golden chain onto the screw of the navel
jewel, then forced it into his navel, squirming as the tip of the screw
touched sensitive hidden flesh.

Starbuck picked up the thong and carefully arranged his throbbing cock and
balls inside its pocket. The tip of his cock immediately began drawing wet
designs on the metallic blue cloth as it strained and stretched the fabric.
Leaving the waist chains dangling, he pulled the bottom chain up between
his buttock cheeks and held it in place with his muscles. He bent to pick
up the last item: the butt plug, wincing as he straightened and the chains
on the nipple clamps pulled them. Made of some kind of hard slick blue
synthetic, the butt plug was about the thickness of a man's thumb, but as
long as his middle finger, rounded at one end and flared at the other.

Starbuck threaded the two waist chains and then the buttock chain onto the
butt plug. As he reached for the buttock chain, Apollo interrupted him in a
voice roughened by lust. "Turn around so I can see," he demanded.

Starbuck obeyed. He threaded the buttock chain onto the butt plug, then,
holding it in one hand, wet two fingers of his other hand with his mouth
and used them to prepare himself for the plug. Apollo watched him,
breathing harshly. As Starbuck positioned the plug, Apollo loosened his
pants and freed his aching organ. It shone wetly as it bobbed in time to
its master's breaths.

Starbuck drove the plug home, biting his lip against a moan as it slid past
his prostate.. Immediately, Apollo ordered, "Do that again." Starbuck
pulled the plug almost all the way out and repeated the action. This time
he was unable to suppress a whimper as the plug rubbed back and forth over
the sensitive bump inside him.

"Turn around." Starbuck did as he was told and immediately knelt, knowing
what he was to do. As his mouth surrounded his lover's needy rod, Apollo
grabbed his hand and put it back on the plug, leaning over Starbuck to
watch. "Keep it up," Apollo grated.

Apollo's weight became heavier and heavier on Starbuck as he leaned further
over, finally reaching the plug with his own hands. He slapped Starbuck's
hand away and began plundering the tight opening himself. The weight was
too much for Starbuck and they both toppled to the floor.

Starbuck maneuvered to again attach his mouth to Apollo's penis, while
Apollo shifted to rub the cloth of the thong with one hand. Apollo
continued fucking Starbuck with the plug, adding his fingers one at a time,
until his whole hand was moving in and out of his lover. The dual
sensations of moving his hand in the two tight tunnels was too much for
Apollo and he came explosively, pulsing hot cum down Starbuck's throat
while hammering up into his rectum.

Starbuck opened his throat to Apollo's deluge, his lifemate too far into
him for him to swallow. He opened his mouth to let Apollo slip out, licking
him clean as he went.

Apollo lay still for a few microns, his hand still inside Starbuck. When he
felt he had the strength, he rotated Starbuck on his hand until he was
spooned behind his lover. "Pull the thong down," he whispered. "Pull it
down and masturbate. Make yourself come." Apollo held his own hand still as
Starbuck used both of his on his own cock. Through his embedded hand,
Apollo could feel Starbuck responding to his own strokes and grew hard
again. As Starbuck reached the edge, Apollo pulled his hand out, grabbed
Starbuck's balls to forestall him, and ordered, "Wait."

Apollo stood Starbuck up and pulled the outfit off him and out of him by
the chains. Starbuck whimpered at the painful scraping. But his cock only
grew harder and began to pulse in time to his racing heart. Apollo inserted
a finger into him and Starbuck thrust back against it. Apollo laughed. "Not
so fast, my love. Into the bedroom where we can be comfortable this time."
He prodded him with the finger, coaxing him to move.

They reached the bed with Apollo's finger still inside Starbuck. Starbuck
crawled onto the bed. Apollo lay down on his side next to him, his finger
idly moving in and out. "Do you like this, love?" Apollo asked.

For answer, Starbuck began thrusting against the finger. Apollo reached
around and drew him closer, allowing him to keep thrusting as he slowly
withdrew his finger and replaced it at Starbuck's entrance with his hard,
wet cock. Starbuck's thrusting impaled him on his lover. Apollo watched
over Starbuck's shoulder as Starbuck masturbated into Apollo's cupped hand
and fucked himself on Apollo's thick rod. With a groan, Starbuck came,
sending Apollo into his second orgasm of the night.

Both of them physically spent, they curled together and slept. Apollo
dreamed of what Starbuck would look like in the other two outfits and what
they could do with them. Starbuck dreamed of Apollo using him the way he
had tonight in front of Uri and the others at the party. Both of them
climaxed without waking, adding more semen to the sticky mess that covered
them.

***

Waking, the two men looked at each other and remembered their dreams.
Apollo knew he could bring his into reality. Starbuck feared his would
become reality. The day passed quietly. The men cleaned themselves, their
clothes, and the rooms they had been in, and rested until it was time to
dress for the evening's festivities.

Watching Starbuck dress in the newly cleaned blue outfit, Apollo felt
himself getting aroused. "Starbuck," he asked, slightly unsure of his
ability to control his responses in public. "You aren't planning on walking
through the Galactica and taking the shuttle to the Rising Star in that,
are you?"

Starbuck laughed. "No, Apollo. I'm not that much of an exhibitionist. I'll
put on my dress uniform over it. There'll be a room for us slaves to
undress in at Uri's." He turned serious. "Apollo? Can I ask you something?"

"Of course, love. What is it?"

"You wouldn't," Starbuck swallowed hard. "You wouldn't do that to me to
entertain Uri and his guests, would you?" He flushed. "It's not that I
didn't like it. I love it when you tell me what to do. But - "

"No!" Apollo declared emphatically. "Don't even think that. I would never
take you in front of a crowd. Especially a crowd like that. And certainly
not if you don't want me to."

"It's not that. I mean, if you want to, I will, of course. I'll do whatever
you tell me."

"Don't worry about it. I *don't* want to do that. What we do, we do
privately, or with the people we choose. I won't perform for an audience
and I won't let you do it either."

"Good, good," Starbuck murmured, relieved. He pulled on his uniform and
swung his cape over his shoulders. "Okay, I'm ready."

***

They were among the last to arrive and Apollo's mouth dropped open as he
stood waiting for Starbuck to return from the undressing room. The couples
he saw were none he would have put together in his wildest dreams - or
nightmares. Shy little Brie led a husky Nomen by a choke chain leash. Was
that really the elderly Chameleon hand feeding a bare-breasted Siress
Blassie as she knelt submissively before him? And in black leather and iron
studs - Boomer? With Jenny in chain-mail halter and shorts?

Apollo heard a chuckle behind him and turned to find Starbuck smirking at
him. "You should see the look on your face, Commander," the barely dressed
Colonel chortled.

"I suppose you expected this," Apollo retorted.

Well, some of it. Chameleon and Blassie have been together now for, what,
25 yahrens? And still having fun. She looks really good for a woman her age
don't you think? Now, Boomer and Jenny, well, I might have guessed.
*Someone* had to be getting the intelligence for Command Staff all these
years, and Troy said it wasn't him."

"So you don't think they really ..."

"Don't know. After all, they sure have a bunch of kids, don't they?"
Starbuck leered. "Frack!" Abruptly, Starbuck turned and stood submissively,
eyes cast down, beside and a step behind Apollo.

"What?" Apollo asked, then saw where Starbuck had been looking. Security
Sergeant Reese strode through a pair of draperies, leading Councilor
Arquint by a chain leash attached to Arquint's cock ring. As they passed,
Apollo could see the large, penis-shaped dildo not quite all the way into
Arquint's ass.

"Apollo, please."

Apollo looked over at the whispered words. Real fear etched his lover's
face and his eyes were panicked. "What, love?"

"Promise you won't make me go into a side room. Not tonight, please. I'll
do it next time, I swear I will. But it's been so long - I just can't - not
this first time. Please?"

His partner's frantic babbling drew a gasp of dismay from Apollo. He didn't
know what went on in the side rooms, but he didn't have to find out by
subjecting Starbuck to them. "No, we won't. In fact, let's just pay our
respects to our host and walk around a bit. I'm supposed to observe, right?
And whether or not we ever come to one of these things again is up to me,
you said. So you don't have to worry about the side rooms now. We can talk
about what goes on there when we get back home. Or tomorrow. Okay?"

"Yeah. Okay. Thanks." Starbuck drew a deep breath and some of the color
returned to his blanched face. "I'm okay now. Grab my chest chains and lead
me by those. And smack me on the ass hard if anyone looks like they're
interested in me, 'kay? Unless, unless you want to trade or share?" His
voice faltered into uncertainty again.

"I told you - I won't share you!" Apollo hissed angrily. How many times did
he have to say the same thing? "I have trouble sharing you with the people
I'm closest to, the ones I trust the most. Why can't you understand that?"
His voice had risen as he spoke and heads were turning.

"You better hit me now," Starbuck coached him. "Go on, I've obviously done
something wrong. Do you want people asking you what I did - or offering to
help you discipline me?"

Apollo groaned. The last thing he wanted to do was physically abuse
Starbuck again. But it looked as though he had no choice. He raised his
voice and his hand simultaneously. "I. Said. *No*!" he bellowed and slapped
Starbuck across the face. As Starbuck let the momentum of the slap turn him
around, Apollo followed his advice and slapped him hard on each buttock,
leaving a clear set of handprints.

Starbuck fell to his knees in front of Apollo. A small crowd had gathered
to watch how this new master controlled his slave. Starbuck noticed Boomer
at Apollo's elbow, Jenny right behind him. He nodded almost imperceptibly
at them and Boomer returned the nod and spoke into Apollo's ear. "Ask him
if he understands now," he advised.

"Do you understand me now?" Apollo roared.

Starbuck cringed. "Yes. Yes, sir. I do. It won't happen again."

"You will obey me. You will submit."

Starbuck closed his eyes in dismay. Jenny whispered, "Oh, no!" Boomer shook
his head. But it was too late. Knowing Apollo didn't know what those words
meant, Starbuck knew he still had to follow through. Real tears flowing
down his cheeks, Starbuck wet himself in proof of his submission. His thong
soaked through. Urine ran down his thighs onto the floor.

Boomer whispered again to Apollo. "Tell him to stay right there and not
move. That you'll come and get him when you're ready to leave."

Apollo, still not sure what had happened or why, turned to Boomer aghast.
"I can't. I promised I wouldn't leave him alone. He said someone could ..."

Boomer was shaking his head again. "No one will touch him now. He knows
that. Go on." He pushed Apollo forward.

Apollo swallowed hard and spoke in a harsh voice. "You stay right there and
don't move until I'm ready to leave."

Boomer had him by the elbow and moved him swiftly away. "Let's get a drink.
You only have to stay long enough to make it look good. Jenny'll let us
know when the interest has waned. Gods! Would you look at those three?"

Boomer turned Apollo's attention towards the bar they were headed for. On
it lay a naked woman, an IFB executive Apollo vaguely recognized. A
red-headed man nuzzled her groin while she fondled his pendulous genitals
with her feet. At her head, another woman lowered an exposed breast into
her mouth, teasing her eyelids and nose with the hard nipple before tracing
her lips and allowing the nipple to be sucked in.

"Is there another bar?" Apollo growled.

***

From Apollo's private log:

It's strange. The only reference Starbuck made to my blunder was when I
came to get him: he asked, "May I shower before dressing?" When he rejoined
me, nothing more was said. No sad looks, no hesitancy, no offer to explain
things in advance next time.

Next time. I think we both know there'll be a next time. There has to be,
because it's my job to know all the intrigues going on in the fleet. I
wonder if Starbuck realized this would happen.

***

From Starbuck's private log:

The side rooms. I know they're next. Oh, yes, there *will* be a next time,
probably many of them. This wasn't what I intended. I wanted Apollo to see
how extreme BDSM could get and then look for its more subtle forms in
places like the Officers Club.

I should have realized that the deals still take place there. The real
workings of the Council, who rubs whose backside, literally and
figuratively. A great rationalization for us becoming 'regulars'. Apollo
probably believes it's the real reason, too. But I saw the look on his face
when I obediently urinated all over myself. He was shocked, sure. But part
of him loved the fact that he had that power over me. A part of him he
doesn't acknowledge. That part knows it wasn't for show either. I would
have done it anywhere, anytime, if that's what he wanted. Lords, I hope it
doesn't come to that.

Do you know the difference between a wet dream and a wet nightmare? After a
wet dream, you wake up sticky and sweating, your heart racing wildly. After
a wet nightmare, you keep on dreaming, unable to wake up until either your
screams wake you or choking on your own vomit does.

The very thought of the side rooms gives me wet nightmares. Good thing
Apollo and I are on different shifts right now. I remember doing what I had
to in those rooms for the Commander - and I'd do it again in a micron - oh,
yeah, I *will* do it again. The differences are, the Commander knew what he
was asking of me, and Apollo doesn't have a clue. And the Commander took no
pleasure from it. I think Apollo will enjoy the side rooms.

I just have to remember he really does love me. Not that it matters much.
I'm just getting what I deserve.

***

Starbuck entered his shared quarters to find Boomer in the living area,
conversing with Apollo. He greeted them briefly, then continued into the
bedroom to take off his clothes. He came out and took his usual place on
the floor at Apollo's knee, but Apollo pulled him up onto the couch.

"Boomer brought me an invitation," Apollo began.

Starbuck glanced at Boomer, then nodded. "To join the group as a member?"
he asked, already knowing the answer.

"Yes," Apollo acknowledged. "But I won't accept unless it's okay with you."
At Starbuck's silence, Apollo coaxed, "I know this isn't why you had me go
last secton, but do you want us to be members?"

"It's not up to me," Starbuck pointed out gently.

Apollo looked uncomfortable. "I think I need to be there. To know what's
really going on. Boomer and Jenny, well ..."

"You know, Starbuck. We can't go where the real work happens," Boomer
picked up.

Starbuck nodded. "I know. A het couple or mixed group is pretty much
limited to the main room. You only pick up hints and rumors."

"That's right. And Troy and Dillon - Hades! Even if they wanted to - and
they've always refused, even after Tigh and I spelled it out for them -
they couldn't pull it off. Neither one of them has the self-control."

"Which room?" Starbuck asked, bowing to the inevitable.

"Umm, the initiation'll be in the stretching room," Boomer mumbled.

"Well, it could be worse," Starbuck conceded. "At least I don't have to
worry about what to wear or whether I'll win or not." 'And no one'll be
trying to rape me or offer Apollo a trade for me,' he added to himself. He
turned to Apollo. "It'll be okay. I just have to get used to what goes on
there again." Apollo looked skeptical. "No, really. I don't mind. And the
stretching room is a relatively easy way to start, all things considered."

***

'This is *easy*?' Apollo thought, struggling to keep his revulsion from
showing. All eight male Councilors were present in the side room, some as
Masters, some as Slaves. The four female Councilors or their Mistresses
acted as judges or referees; the female Slaves frolicked together just
outside the curtained alcove that made up this side room. Their murmurs and
laughter drifted into the room from time to time.

The Masters, like Apollo, were fully clothed. All except him had their
genitals fully exposed; a gentle "not this time," from one of the
Mistresses had aborted his movement to do the same. The Slaves, including
Starbuck, were completely naked. All but Starbuck wore cock rings and
dildoes.

Siress Stachi stood just behind Apollo, explaining things to him. She had
been assigned to ease his way into the Membership Circle. Now she leaned
forward and handed him a rough leather cock ring. "The other Slaves will be
ensuring their Masters' arousal while you secure your Slave from release,"
she whispered in his ear. "If he fails to exercise control during the
initiation, he will be subject to immediate punishment, so it's in his best
interests to secure him well."

Seeing Apollo's bewildered expression, Starbuck knelt up in front of him
and whispered, while stroking himself to erection, "She means if I come
while they're testing me, they all get to fuck me, Masters and Slaves. So
put it on tight. I'd rather be in pain for a while than be gang raped while
you watch."

Siress Stachi frowned at both Starbuck's forwardness in speaking and his
choice of words, but nodded her agreement with his translation. Apollo
shook his head. "I can't ask you to do this, Starbuck," he said, starting
to get up.

Siress Stachi pressed him back onto his seat with her hands on his
shoulders. "Sure you can, Commander," Starbuck said. "Just pretend you're
ordering me into battle against overwhelming odds. You do that all the
time." He looked up at the Siress. "May I put the ring on myself,
Mistress?" he asked politely. She hesitated, then nodded, keeping a firm
grip on Apollo.

Starbuck took the cock ring from his lover's fingers, stroking them in
reassurance as he did so. It bothered him less to go through the initiation
than to know that Apollo would undoubtedly enjoy what he saw and adapt it
to their sex play. He tightened the ring at the base of his penis until he
was biting his lip against the pain. Then he kneeled up again for the
Siress' inspection. She nodded her acceptance and announced, "The
initiation may now begin."

While Starbuck was being readied, the other Slaves had finished their
ministrations. The pairs were arranged in order of the size of the dildoes
the slaves wore. Siress Stachi moved to Starbuck, pushed him down to hands
and knees, and turned him so his side faced Apollo, allowing the Commander
a complete view of his initiation. Then she returned to her place behind
Apollo, putting her hands back on his shoulders to restrain him if
necessary.

Timid Councilor Trent and his mincing Slave approached Starbuck first,
separating as they approached. Trent positioned himself facing Starbuck,
his erect cock bouncing in Starbuck's face. The Slave knelt up at
Starbuck's ass and removed a small dildo from his own rear, no larger than
the blue butt plug Starbuck had worn on their first visit here, Apollo
noted. He wiped it disdainfully on the back of Starbuck's thighs until it
was completely dry. Then he thrust it completely into Starbuck.

The shock of the entry caused Starbuck to thrust away from the pain and
open his mouth in a cry of surprise. The cry was cut off immediately by
Trent, who thrust his member fully into Starbuck's mouth, pressing against
him so hard Starbuck's nose was mashed into Trent's bush.

Trent grabbed Starbuck by the hair and pulled the gagging man's head
backwards and forwards on his rod, crushing his face to his pubis with each
pull. The slave began languorously moving the dildo in and out of
Starbuck's rectum, making no attempt to match his master's rhythm.

Trent's manipulations became frantic as he neared climax, battering
Starbuck against him, then pulling him away. Finally, he came, spilling
down Starbuck's throat. He pulled completely out as soon as he finished and
wiped his now flaccid penis clean on Starbuck's hair.

The slave pulled the dildo out completely as his master tucked himself into
his clothes and rearranged them. Once again the dildo was wiped dry on
Starbuck's thighs, then the slave looked to his master hopefully. Smiling,
Trent beckoned the man to him, holding open a small pouch hanging from his
belt. The slave dropped the dildo into the pouch and stood. Trent removed
the cock ring and motioned the slave towards Starbuck. The naked man pulled
at his engorged member twice and came all over Starbuck's back to
appreciative laughter from the waiting pairs. Apollo was furious and only
Stachi's hands on his shoulders reminded him that intervening would make it
worse for Starbuck.

Starbuck remained still as the pair left, Trent petting his slave and
complimenting him for a job well done. A trickle of blood oozed from
Starbuck's hole, where the dry dildo had scraped the tender inner skin.
Starbuck appeared not to notice.

The next pair approached and positioned themselves as the first pair had.
Fussy Norat, waved a Mistress over and pointed at Starbuck's wet hair and
back. At her command, two of the female slaves brought in fans and dried
the sticky mess where it lay. Norat, the slave in this pair, then daintily
leaned on Starbuck as he removed a dildo somewhat larger than the previous
one. Drying it the same way his predecessor had, he waited for his master's
signal before ramming it into Starbuck. The master moved his own body in
preference to touching Starbuck's clumped and soiled head, but otherwise,
the activity was the same as before. When the master was done, he indicated
that Starbuck should lick him clean, which he did. Then he signaled Norat,
who crept to Starbuck's head and held out the slightly bloody dildo for the
same cleaning.

Twice more this was repeated, with only the increasing size of the dildoes
and the slightly different clean-up methods varying the action. Then kindly
old Sire Constans approached. His slave removed his dildo, noticeably
larger than the previous one, and accepted a disposable cloth from his
master with which to clean it. He carefully folded the cloth and placed it
next to him before slowly and as gently as possible inserting the large,
rounded cylinder. Once it was fully in, he dabbed at the blood leaking from
Starbuck's rectum with the cloth, refolded it, and knelt back.

Sire Constans offered his cock to Starbuck, indicating he should take it as
he wished and pleasure the elderly man at his own pace. Starbuck gratefully
gave the gracious Sire his best effort and was rewarded with a gentle
stroke on his cheek when the Councilor finished. The slave quickly and
smoothly removed the dildo, again cleaning Starbuck as best he could before
wrapping the dildo in the now blood-soaked cloth. The slave then knelt
before Sire Constans and cleaned him with his own mouth and redressed his
master.

Apollo's anger had not abated. Watching Sire Constans sympathetic treatment
only made him hate those who hadn't shown any concern more. And he had
become aware that some part of him was reveling in the show. He was hard.
Each thrust from one of the Masters was echoed in a thrust from his groin
against his leggings despite his revulsion and self-loathing.

Starbuck's respite was over. The next dildo was larger, of course, but also
studded. It was rammed in and withdrawn repeatedly, matching what was done
to Starbuck's mouth, so that he was alternately filled and emptied at both
ends at once, in maximum pain and unable to shift his body to accommodate
either.

Starbuck's rectum was now slippery with blood. The metal dildo next
presented slipped in easily. Starbuck had to clench painfully to hold it in
place as he was instructed. By the time the languid strokes of this
Councilor brought him off in Starbuck's mouth, blood had cemented the dildo
into Starbuck, and he screamed as the internal wounds were reopened by the
dildo's removal.

But the last was the worse, as Starbuck had known it would be. Councilor
Arquint approached on his knees with Security Sergeant Reese stepping on
his feet quite purposefully. Even from where he sat, Apollo could smell
that Reese had not cleaned himself prior to the evening's events. 'Quite
the opposite,' Apollo thought cursing the man silently. Here, finally, was
Reese's opportunity to humiliate his long-time tormentor.

Arquint raised his buttocks to Reese, who had accompanied his slave to
Starbuck's rear, and Reese roughly pulled the dildo, which didn't quite fit
all the way into Arquint, out of Arquint. It, too, was filthy. Reese held
it next to his own hugely engorged member and turned so that Apollo could
see them clearly. They were exact duplicates. Reese handed the dildo to
Arquint who immediately inserted it, filth and all, fully into Starbuck,
then held it in place, ensuring it was all the way in and stayed there.
Reese reached into his shirt pocket and withdrew a small box. He pushed a
button on the box and Starbuck began jerking violently, much to the
amusement of the gathered crowd. Apollo realized the dildo was electrified
and was delivering shocks to Starbuck's rectum at random intervals.
Starbuck's whole body trembled uncontrollably between jolts.

Reese bowed theatrically, put the box away, and strutted to Starbuck's
head. There he held Starbuck still by the ears, gripping hard enough for
his fingernails to break the skin. He jammed his cock into Starbuck's mouth
and down his throat, his balls hitting Starbuck's chin with each thrust.
When he came, he pushed himself so far down Starbuck's throat that Starbuck
choked and began turning blue. Waiting until his victim's eyes began to
glaze, Reese held himself against Starbuck. Finally he released him, pulled
out, and proceeded to piss in his face.

Somehow Starbuck had managed to remain conscious and retain his position on
all fours. Disgusted that his opponent was still in position, Reese
signaled Arquint to pull the dildo out and put it back into himself.
Arquint did so, flinching at the shocks to his hands and then rectum, but
obedient to his master. He then followed Reese out of the room on his hands
and knees.

Siress Stachi was still holding Apollo back by main force. The three other
female Councilors walked around Starbuck, inspecting him, their noses
wrinkling at the smells that emanated from him: semen, blood, sweat, urine,
and feces. One of them bent to speak softly to Starbuck, who murmured,
"Yes, Mistress," and sat back painfully on his haunches. The woman then
fondled his throbbing cock, before nodding at the other two judges and
announcing, "The initiation is successfully concluded."

Siress Stachi finally let Apollo go. He raced to his lover's side, grabbing
him up in a fierce caress. Tears of mixed guilt and anger coursed down his
cheeks as he held his tortured soulmate.

To Apollo's amazement, Starbuck began comforting him. Turning onto his side
to lessen his pain, he reached up and petted Apollo's cheeks, wiping the
tears away. "It's all right," Starbuck whispered. It's over. Most of them
didn't mean to hurt me; it's just the way the initiation goes."

Apollo shook his head violently. "How can you say that after ..." he
couldn't go on, couldn't even say the words. Instead he sighed and reached
for the cock ring, almost embedded in Starbuck's erection.

But Starbuck shook his head and pushed his lover's hand away. "Not here. I
don't want to cum here. Not tonight." Apollo nodded his understanding and
stroked his lover's stained back.

Starbuck looked around. They were alone in the room. He slid down into
Apollo's lap and, in a single motion before Apollo could stop him, undid
Apollo's leggings and sucked his lover's hard rod into his mouth.

Apollo was both astonished and ashamed. But his cock knew no shame and it
was all he could do to let Starbuck continue at his own speed. He came with
a sigh of pleasure despite himself and kissed Starbuck on the head despite
the filth he was covered in.

Pulling away from Apollo, Starbuck got carefully to his knees. "Can we go
home now, please?" he asked softly.

Apollo nodded and, remembering their last visit, asked, "Do you want to
shower and clean up?"

Starbuck shook his head. "If you don't mind, I'd rather just leave - as
soon as I get my clothes on."

"Do you need help?"

Starbuck wanted to say yes, but Apollo didn't belong in the slave's
undressing room. "I can manage," he lied. It took him quite a while, but he
emerged with pants and shirt on well enough for the dress cape to hide what
he couldn't cover. Apollo had called for a private shuttle and Starbuck
gratefully rested laying on his stomach for the ride back to the Galactica.

***

"I need to soak myself clean," Starbuck explained when he and Apollo were
back in their quarters. He tried to close Apollo out of the bathroom to no
avail. "Apollo, please," he begged, "this will only upset you, and it
really looks much worse than it is."

Apollo assumed the Master persona that he knew would put an end to
Starbuck's protests. "Silence. I will strip you and clean you. Then you can
soak while I watch." He followed words with actions, while Starbuck stood,
eyes down, and bit his lip to avoid crying out.

Apollo threw the clothes out after peeling them off his lover's body. He
looked at the pants, wondering why they weren't bloodstained. When he
returned to the bathroom, Starbuck was standing just as he'd left him.
Apollo reached for the cock ring again.

"Please, I have no control left," Starbuck begged, his voice cracking in
total humiliation. "I'll cum in your face and then you'll have to punish
me." He didn't move, but began to sob silently, his shoulders heaving.

The idea of punishing Starbuck tickled Apollo's fancy, but he set it aside
for a more appropriate time. Right now his lover was hurt physically and
emotionally. And he had done it for Apollo. "No, you won't be punished. But
the cock ring has to come off. Turn around and aim at the turbo flush."

Starbuck sighed in relief and did as he was told. Then Apollo saw why
Starbuck's pants had no blood on them. "By the Lords of Kobol, Starbuck!
How could you do this to yourself?" he exclaimed, looking at the cotton
wadding that filled the other man's rear.

"It didn't hurt much," Starbuck insisted. "And I didn't want to be bleeding
all over the place. It'll soften and I can pull it out after I've soaked a
while."

Apollo had no choice, so he accepted Starbuck's words for the moment.
Reaching around him, he undid the cock ring. As he had predicted, Starbuck
immediately began spurting in painful release. Apollo held him up as he
sagged in pain and exhaustion.

Apollo realized Starbuck couldn't be left alone to soak his injuries clean.
Holding his lover with one arm, he started a warm bath, adding cleansing
bubbles and a mild antiseptic. Then he undressed himself and guided
Starbuck into the tub. Holding Starbuck between his legs, so that
Starbuck's thighs were resting on his in support, leaving his buttocks free
from pressure, Apollo began cleaning the filth from his lover's hair, back,
and face.

Finishing, Apollo rinsed them both off and ran in clean water, with a
stronger antiseptic. He reached under Starbuck and slowly began to pull the
softened cotton out. Starbuck had been drowsing, lulled by the warm water
and his own exhaustion. But the renewed pain inside him woke him screaming.
"Shh, it'll be over in a micron," Apollo soothed continuing to pull gently.

Starbuck, not fully awake, struggled and sobbed, pulling free of Apollo.
Apollo grabbed him around the waist and held him. "Starbuck," he said
firmly, "it's this or Life Center. Which do you prefer?"

Starbuck stopped struggling, but the sobs continued to wrack his body. He
leaned away from Apollo, moving onto his stomach and holding the far edge
of the tub tightly in both hands. "Go ahead," he grated from between
clenched teeth.

Finally it was done. Starbuck relaxed with a whimper and allowed Apollo to
pull him back against his chest. As gently as he could, Apollo cleaned
Starbuck's genitals and buttocks, including his torn anus. Starbuck mewed
in exhausted pain, but did his best to hold still.

Apollo rinsed them again and ran warm water in. He turned Starbuck onto his
side, and slid under him, so that Starbuck's head was on his shoulder and
his rear fully under the water to soak.

They lay together until the water cooled. The chill roused Starbuck. Apollo
started to push Starbuck up, but Starbuck resisted and shook his head.
Trembling with anticipation of the pain, he forced himself to tell Apollo
what he had to do. "I have to open myself wide, so that the water flushes
me clean. Arquint's filthy -"

"I saw it," Apollo cut him off roughly. "I'll do it. Your muscles must be
sore and you're probably stiff despite the soaking." He thought a moment.
"I'll use an anesthetic cream for lube," he said. Starbuck moved back to
the end of the tub and positioned himself while Apollo got the medicated
cream. Both men were crying and blood was flowing again by the time Apollo
opened Starbuck wide enough to flush his rectum with the spray nozzle.

When the slender nozzle entered him, Starbuck began to vomit
uncontrollably. It was one too many painful invasions. Knowing he couldn't
complete treating Starbuck alone, Apollo used the emergency comm to get
Boomer. Boomer held his retching friend's head and upper body, while Apollo
continued flushing out his rectum. Starbuck was unconscious by the time
they finished.

Together, Boomer and Apollo dried their friend, and applied anesthetic,
anti-inflammatory, and antibiotic ointments. Roused by the pain, Starbuck
cried out and tried to move away as Apollo reached far inside him to ensure
no infection took hold. Boomer moved to keep him still.

Starbuck opened his eyes once to see Boomer holding him down as Apollo
fisted him with the medication. He closed his eyes quickly, letting them
believe he was still unconscious. Silently, he chanted the refrain that was
the center of his beliefs: 'I deserve nothing better, I deserve nothing
more.'

Apollo and Boomer:

"He's feverish, Apollo."

"I know, Boomer, I know. But I can't exactly take him to Life Center, can
I?"

"No. And you can't exactly stay here indefinitely either. Look, I switched
around schedules, so Starbuck and I aren't on duty again for three cycles.
But I couldn't do anything about your Council meeting."

Apollo groaned. He'd forgotten all about the Council meeting. If he didn't
show, they'd *all* know why. After all, all the Councilors had been
*there*. Idly, he wondered what they'd do. They couldn't reveal what he and
Starbuck had taken part in without revealing their own parts. He shook his
head; he was just distracting himself from the real problem.

"I'll stay with Starbuck," Boomer offered. "You go to the meeting."

"How can you?"

Boomer looked at his hands. "I, uh, I told Jenny what was going on. I don't
keep any secrets from her, you know that."

"And she's all right with it?."

Boomer smiled. "Jenny's the best. She won't let anyone know, no matter
what."

Apollo sighed and stretched. "Okay, then, I'd better get dressed and go."

***

"Sorry I'm late, Councilors," Apollo said, striding into the Council Room.

"Quite all right, Commander," Sire Arquint answered for them all. He patted
Apollo on the back and walked with him to the Council Table, sliding a
folded paper into his hand as he passed behind Apollo's chair to get to his
own seat. "Is there anything urgent on the agenda today?" he asked,
stifling a yawn.

"Tired, Arquint?" Siress Stacchi asked. "You really should cut down on your
social life, especially the cycle before a Council meeting."

"Very funny," Arquint muttered.

"As a matter of fact," one of the more garrulous Councilors was off and
running, Apollo noted. 'More like running off at the mouth,' he thought,
tuning him out. He started to open the note, but Arquint caught his eye and
shook his head 'no' almost imperceptibly.

The meeting seemed interminable, but at last, after a myriad of unimportant
proposals had been debated with no decisions or consensus reached, it ended
with agreement that, for another secton at least, the military would
continue making the day-to-day plans.

As Apollo rose to leave, Siress Stacchi stopped him with a gentle hand on
his arm. "How is the Colonel?" she inquired.

Apollo decided to understate, but not outright lie. "A little sore. Thank
you for asking. I'll tell him you were concerned."

Siress Stacchi smiled and nodded agreeably, then turned towards Sire
Arquint and raised an eyebrow. Arquint nodded once. The Siress patted
Apollo's arm. "I'm sure he'll be fine in a few cycles. But I hope you will
accept advice when it's offered, no matter from what quarter."

Apollo looked puzzled until he followed the Siress' gaze to the Council
Table, where Arquint was gathering up his papers. "Yes, of course," he
replied, realizing she knew about the note Arquint had passed him. "If
you'll excuse me?"

***

Apollo unfolded the note as soon as he walked into his quarters. Scanning
it quickly, he looked up as Boomer came out of the bedroom. "How is he?"

Boomer shook his head. "No better. Jenny said to try cold compresses, so
I've been doing that. But I don't think the fever's coming down. He must
have an infection despite all we tried to do to prevent it. Frak Arquint!"

"No, not Arquint," Apollo replied almost absently, looking at the note
again. "He only did what he had to. And he's trying to make amends now." He
passed the note to Boomer.

"If things get out of control, contact Paye. He's discreet and won't ask
questions. Don't bring Salik into it; he records everything," Boomer read
aloud. "This is from Arquint?"

Apollo nodded and walked to the comm unit.

"Do you trust him?" Boomer asked.

"I was advised to," Apollo replied. "And, really, I don't think we have any
choice. Starbuck needs medical attention." He commed Dr. Paye and spoke to
him briefly, then broke the link and turned to Boomer. "He'll be here as
soon as he gathers what he thinks he'll need."

"That easy, huh?" Boomer asked, raising his eyebrows in surprise.

"He said, 'nocturnal Council meeting, I presume,' as soon as I mentioned
Arquint's name," Apollo answered.

***

"Ten cycles! You want me to ream my seal-mate twice a cycle for ten
cycles?" Apollo cried out in anger.

"It's that or I have to take him to Life Center. Look, you were doing the
right thing by applying the medication at the entry points into his
bloodstream. But he needs stronger medication and he needs it for a full
ten cycles to ensure any infection is eradicated. It will take that long
for the gouges to heal. I can't come here twice a cycle for ten cycles,"
Paye replied calmly.

"All right," Apollo gave in. "I hope he'll forgive me."

"He won't even be aware of it most of the time, but it'll take two of you
anyway, because he'll probably fight the pain," Paye answered brusquely.
"And halfway between applications, get him to drink as much of this liquid
nutrient as you can. He won't be up to eating anything, and probably
shouldn't have anything solid for a good four sectons anyway. But he needs
nourishment and this will provide him with the basics. Use the bottle if
he's conscious. Otherwise, use this feeding tube."

"Oh, Lords," Apollo sat down hard on the couch, head in hands. "What have I
done to him?"

Pay ignored him. "I've arranged for all three of you to be quarantined for
the 10 cycles. Rare virus. Highly contagious. Good thing you called me when
you did. Et cetera, et cetera."

Apollo looked bewildered, but Boomer understood. "Got it, Doc. And you'll
risk catching it if you come back too often. So will anybody trying to
visit us."

"Precisely."

"Salik'll let you get away with that?"

"Salik won't do the, umm, dirty work, but he knows when to look the other
way. I'll comm you once a cycle, when I'm free to talk." Paye prepared to
leave.

***

Starbuck:

At one time, Starbuck was certain, he had known why he was being punished
by his seal-mate and his best friend. Not that it mattered. Now he only
remembered that he deserved it. The tortures alternated between Apollo
fisting him while Boomer held him down and Boomer holding his jaw open
while Apollo pushed a flex-tube down his throat and emptied - something -
into him. In between he tried to retreat mentally. So far he had failed. He
was due for another fisting by his calculations. A single tear rolled down
his cheek.

The two men he loved most walked in on cue. Starbuck watched them through
lowered lashes. Apollo spread Starbuck's legs and sat between them. Boomer
knelt at the other end of the bed and lifted Starbuck's head and shoulders
onto his knees, holding the shoulders firmly.

Starbuck felt Apollo begin probing his anus. Fighting hadn't helped. Maybe
if he lay still, showed them he was cooperating, they would shorten the
session. He forced himself to relax.

***

It hadn't worked. Apollo had worked him just as brutally for just as long.
Boomer hadn't bruised his shoulders though. Starbuck accepted that small
victory gratefully. 'Of course,' he thought ruefully, 'he was turned on,
too.' Lying still with his head in Boomer's lap had made the man's erection
impossible to ignore as it pressed into Starbuck's cheek. Starbuck had
known that sexual violence was one of Apollo's hot buttons, but he hadn't
known it about Boomer until now.

Something inside him snapped. With dull certainty, he knew what he had to
do to curtail the punishment. Baltar's laughter howled in his head.

***

Apollo and Boomer:

"Ready?" Apollo asked.

"No," Boomer replied with blunt honesty, "but he's not fighting anymore, so
go ahead."

"If he really doesn't fight me this time, can you lean over and keep his
cheeks separated?"

"Yeah, sure. Let's get it over with. I can't take watching you do this."

"How do you think *I* feel, then? For Sagan's sake! You're hard already!"

"Frak, Apollo! I can't help it! Just get started."

***

Starbuck:

'Lie still. Wait for an opening,' Starbuck cautioned himself, forcing his
abused muscles to relax. Distantly, he heard Apollo and Boomer speaking;
arguing, he realized. 'Please, Lords, whatever they're fighting about,
don't let them take it out on me.'

Then the weight of Boomer's arms lifted from his shoulders and a shadow
crossed his face as Boomer leaned forward to hold his nether cheeks apart.
Ignoring the pain in his lower regions, Starbuck reached up, undid Boomer's
pants in one motion, and, raising his head, sucked Boomer's throbbing organ
into his mouth. He pleasured him as skillfully as he knew how, hoping that
this voluntary action would gain him respite from their torture.

***

Apollo and Boomer:

"What the ..." Boomer jerked as Starbuck began mouthing him, letting go of
Starbuck's buttocks and twisting as best he could to see what had happened.
He couldn't actually see in his awkward position, but it soon became clear
to him. It was all he could do not to collapse on Starbuck, crushing him
totally. Locking his elbows, he braced himself against the bed, lowered his
head, and began moaning with pleasure.

Apollo could see all too well what Starbuck was doing. Unconsciously, he
began thrusting his medicine covered fist in time to Starbuck's thrusts
over Boomer's rod. Soon, his free hand released his own organ and began
stroking in the same rhythm.

***

Starbuck:

Boomer exploded in Starbuck's mouth and Starbuck swallowed his cum with
difficulty because of his prone position. He licked the penis clean as it
slipped from his mouth. The shadow rolled away from his face, but the
brutal invasion of his rectum didn't stop. 'No, no, no,' Starbuck cried
silently. 'You've got to stop. I did what you want. Please stop.' Why
didn't Baltar stop? This had always worked before ...

There was something wrong with his reasoning. Baltar. Baltar was ... dead.
Then who? His thoughts were interrupted as hot liquid gushed over the back
of his legs. Now, finally, the pounding inside him stopped and his muscles
spasmed as they were released from their forcibly stretched position.

Not Baltar. Then who? Oh, Lords! Memory came back. Boomer and Apollo were
punishing him for - something. He'd gone down on Boomer. Then, Apollo?
Painfully, he swiveled his body on the bed until he faced another spent
penis. Pulling himself close, he licked this one, Apollo's he assumed,
clean, too. Then, too exhausted to care what they did to him anymore,
Starbuck lay his head down and let his consciousness drift.

***

Troy looked up as Dillon entered their quarters. "Any luck with Jenny?" he
asked hopefully.

Dillon shook his head. "The woman is unbelievable. Made me feel like a six
yahren old who had sneaked into the girls' room. And didn't give away
anything. Did you have any better luck?"

Troy snorted. "You may have felt like a six yahren old, but I feel like the
ship idiot. Salik acted like he was considering putting me under
psychological observation. I ended up apologizing for even thinking that
the medical department might not tell the whole unvarnished truth about
something to Command."

"So what do we do now?"

"I guess we just wait until one of them surfaces and then follow him to see
what's going on."

***

"C'mon, love, open your eyes," Apollo urged. He slid onto the bed and
gently rolled Starbuck onto his side so that Starbuck's head was in his
lap. As Starbuck's eyes fluttered open, Apollo reached for the bottle
containing the nutritional formula that served as "food" for Starbuck.

Starbuck started to open his mouth to take the adult-sized nipple then
pulled back slightly. He spoke for the first time since this ordeal had
begun, his voice fuzzy even to his own ears. "Not time yet." He had trouble
formulating his thoughts into words and hoped Apollo would understand that
he was asking why he was being fed twice in a row instead of ... instead of
what usually happened in between feedings.

Apollo tried hard not to show his surprise and relief at Starbuck's query.
He, Boomer, and Dr. Paye had all been concerned at both Starbuck's actions
and his silence, wondering what he was actually responding to. Starbuck had
obediently taken the bottle at the first feeding after he had demonstrated
his consciousness, and had not attempted to seduce either Boomer or Apollo
after they gently rebuked him the second time it happened. Instead, he lay
quietly, responding appropriately to their instructions, but not speaking
or showing any emotion. Now Apollo took Starbuck's words at face value and
responded, "Dr. Paye changed your feeding schedule, Starbuck."

Starbuck nodded that he understood, then asked, in as level a tone as he
could manage, "Punishment done?" He kept his eyes focused on the bottle,
not daring to look up at his lover and owner. He knew his voice sounded
weak and hoped it didn't sound like he was whining or begging, things that
had brought additional punishment ... He stopped that line of thinking,
aware he was again confusing his torture under Baltar with whatever was
happening now. He knew he was confused, but couldn't seem to sort it out
entirely.

Apollo was taken aback. Punishment? So that was what Starbuck thought was
going on. No wonder he had acted as he did. Undoubtedly he hoped to assuage
their anger by pleasuring them. Apollo began to explain. "No, love, that
wasn't -" but stopped short when he felt Starbuck's body sag in despair and
saw his eyes close. "Yes, Starbuck," he amended softly, stroking his
lover's hair to emphasize that the horror was over. "Punishment's over. Now
you have to get more nourishment to get well."

'It's a trick! Don't fall for it!' part of Starbuck's mind screamed. But he
wanted desperately to believe what he was hearing. He forced his eyes open,
blinking unshed tears aside, and looked up at Apollo, trying to gauge the
truth. Apollo met his gaze steadily, smiling slightly, and continued
stroking the blond hair. He didn't know what to think Then, at the
realization that he couldn't trust his own judgment, something inside him
broke.'What difference does it make anyway?' he asked himself. 'I'm in no
position to change anything.' He took a deep breath and then took the
nipple in his mouth, sucking strongly.

***

"I know I shouldn't have done it," Apollo interrupted angrily as Paye began
a lengthy diatribe on how foolish Apollo had been. "But he wasn't going to
finish the bottle unless I bribed him somehow and, at the time, that seemed
the obvious way."

Paye shook his head. "Apollo, don't you see that by allowing him to perform
oral sex on you, you're confirming his belief that he's your sex slave?"
Apollo was silent, so Paye continued. "Or maybe that *is* what you want."

"No, you don't understand!" But Apollo was at a loss to explain further.
Paye wasn't about to believe that it was what Starbuck wanted, long before
this whole fiasco spun out of control. As the fates would have it, he
didn't have to try.

"Dr. Paye?" Starbuck's hesitant voice came from behind them. Starbuck stood
holding himself upright against the door frame. He was naked and, for an
instant, Apollo had a flashback of the first time he'd appeared
unexpectedly that way. But he wasn't battered now, at least not physically,
and Apollo forced himself to stay still and let the scene play out.

"Yes, Colonel. Did we wake you? Is there something you need?"

"No, no, I was awake. But I have something to say." Starbuck struggled to
stay focused. He straightened and spoke firmly. "Apollo and I are sealed,
as you know. How we choose to conduct our private lives is not your
business as long as neither of us abuses or coerces the other. I chose to
express my gratitude sexually for all Apollo's done for me and Apollo chose
to reward me sexually for finishing the nutrient drink. It's none of your
business, as I said, but I prefer that Apollo take the lead in our sex
life. It was my idea, a long time ago. We like it that way. Is that good
enough for you?"

Dr. Paye was taken aback, but Starbuck's tone brooked no argument and
appeared true to his personality. "I'm sorry I interfered. It wasn't clear
to me - until now - that you had consciously agreed to this. I'm sorry,
Starbuck, Apollo. I hope you'll forgive me." Both men nodded. "Now, as far
as continuing rehabilitation, I think that your body needs more time to
recover, Starbuck, so I've suggested to Apollo that you continue with the
liquid nutrient for another secton and then slowly go to other liquids and
pureed solids. Try not to rush getting back to a regular diet and keep
things bland for awhile. Try not to push yourself physically either. You
can start getting up for perhaps a centare at a time, several times a cycle
but, again, don't rush it. Rest out here if you find the bedroom too
isolated, but don't push yourself. Okay?"

Again the lovers agreed. Before the situation got awkward, Starbuck said,
"Now, if that's all, I need to use the bathroom and I'm not sure I can
manage on my own. Apollo, will you help me, please?"

Apollo went immediately to Starbuck's side and Paye indicated he would let
himself out and that he would check back on Starbuck in a secton to ensure
he was ready to start transitioning to a normal diet.

Once Paye left, Starbuck took care of his needs with Apollo's assistance,
then allowed Apollo to arrange him on the couch with pillows and comforter.
As Apollo turned away, Starbuck reached for his hand and asked, "'Pollo?
Did I do all right with Paye? Was that what you wanted me to tell him?"

Alarm bells went off in Apollo's head at this, but he smiled and reassured
Starbuck. "Of course, love. He was worried that I was forcing myself on
you, that you really didn't want it this way. As long as you told him the
truth, you did the right thing. But Starbuck," Apollo lifted Starbuck's
chin so that their eyes met, "if ever this isn't what you want anymore, you
must tell me." Starbuck nodded agreeably. Apollo wasn't convinced, but let
it slide for the time being. He kissed the top of the blond head. "Rest
now, love." Starbuck obediently sank back into the pillows and closed his
eyes, turning slightly onto his side to relieve the pressure on his still
bruised backside. Apollo held his hand until he felt Starbuck's fingers
relax and heard his breathing slow. Then he went to his desk to do some
long overdue paperwork and try to keep his mind off how stable Starbuck
really was.

***

Starbuck's physical recovery went smoothly. He was soon able to eat most
food normally, although Apollo took care that he had small portions
frequently rather than one or two large meals. Apollo still bottle-fed
Starbuck liquid nutrients twice a day, telling himself that it accelerated
Starbuck's recovery. This became less and less plausible as Starbuck
recovered physically, but since he didn't complain or question it, Apollo
continued. Apollo overlooked the fact that Starbuck rarely complained or
questioned anything.

As he became stronger and more alert, Starbuck became bored. Apollo noticed
and, making sure as best he could that it was all right with Starbuck,
invited Boomer and Jenny to spend an evening with them.

Starbuck was laying on the couch, but sat up when Boomer and Jenny arrived.
Apollo hadn't told him to dress, so he hadn't. Jenny, forewarned by Boomer,
didn't react to Starbuck's lack of attire, but simply leaned over and
kissed his cheek. "How you feeling, Bucko?" she inquired.

"I'm good," he replied honestly. "Thanks for loaning out Boomer to help
take care of me."

"Oh, you're very welcome," Jenny replied. "I needed a vacation from him
anyway." She wandered over to Boomer and sat on the floor next to his
chair, leaning her head against his knee. Starbuck smiled, wistfully noting
her position. Apollo wouldn't let him sit that way anymore.

Apollo brought drinks over and sat down on the couch, pulling Starbuck's
head into his lap. He picked up the bottle and offered it to Starbuck, not
noticing the flush of embarrassment that covered his face before he opened
his mouth to it.

Boomer and Jenny had noticed, however, and at Jenny's nudge, Boomer asked
in a neutral tone, "Does he still need that, Apollo?"

"Hmm?" Apollo was distracted by Starbuck's sucking, as usual, and had
become aroused. Part of his mind was working out a way to get Starbuck into
the bedroom to suck him off even while the rational part was berating him
for humiliating Starbuck this way. "Oh, I don't know whether he *needs* it
or not, but it doesn't hurt for him to get the extra nutrients and we both
enjoy the closeness, don't we Starbuck?"

Starbuck pulled back from the nipple, but didn't reply. He felt trapped. He
knew he had no right to object to whatever Apollo wanted, but he couldn't
lie. He turned his head into Apollo's groin and nuzzled his erection,
hoping to distract him. Apollo began to chuckle at the familiar response.
"Not now, Starbuck," he chastised his lover mildly. "We have company,
remember?"

But Boomer had a different take on things. "Apollo, you and I both know
when and why he does ... that," he gestured at the blond head's motions.
"And I didn't hear him agree with you."

Apollo expected Starbuck to defend him, as he had in front of Paye. When
Starbuck stilled, but did not respond, Apollo warned in a level, but
dangerous, voice, "I don't think this is your business, Boomer."

Boomer strode over to the couch. "I do," he averred. "Apollo, I know you
don't mean to, but you're taking advantage here, and it's not to Starbuck's
benefit. He apparently can't speak for himself, but someone has to."

"He's mine and I'll do as I please!" Apollo returned, voice rising. He was
instantly appalled at the words that had issued from his mouth, but it was
too late.

"He is *not* yours - he's a human being! Your play-acting for the sake of
Council politics has gone to your head, Apollo! Let him go!" Boomer loomed
over his Commander placing a firm hand on Starbuck's buttocks to make his
point. Apollo grabbed Starbuck's shoulders protectively, inadvertently
forcing his face into Apollo's groin.

Troy and Dillon chose that moment to enter Apollo's quarters, using Troy's
passcode. They had been watching Boomer since he returned to work and had
followed him and Jenny. Hearing the raised voices, they burst in and
stopped short at the tableau before them.

Boomer and Apollo seemed to be manhandling and molesting Starbuck, who lay
naked and struggling under their restraining hands. Jenny sat to one side,
her hands to her face in horror. Then, as they looked at each other
wondering what to do, the raised voices, combined with the hands on his
body, pushed Starbuck over the edge. "No! Stop, please! I'll do what you
want," he sobbed, struggling under Apollo and Boomer's hands, even as they
sought to soothe him. "I'll do whatever you want - don't punish me again."

At those words, Troy and Dillon sprang into action. Dillon pulled Boomer
away and tossed him in the general direction of Jenny. Meanwhile, Troy
pulled Starbuck from Apollo and, with Dillon's assistance, began to carry
him out of harm's way.

Starbuck, already overwhelmed by misread sensations and blinded by tears,
didn't know who was grabbing him. All he knew was that at least two more
people were fighting over his body. His mind shut down completely and he
surrendered to emotion, uttering a despairing wordless scream.

***

"It took centars to straighten things out," Apollo explained to Starbuck.
"And the whole time you were screaming. No words, just screams, as if
something was burning you up from the inside out. Do you remember any of
it?" Starbuck shook his head no. "Probably just as well," Apollo said,
reaching for Starbuck, then stopping short and pulling his hand back.

"What happened?" Starbuck asked, his voice no more than a whisper.

Apollo sighed inwardly. He knew he had to fill Starbuck in, but he had
hoped he wouldn't ask for details. He tried to distract him. "Boomer and I
were yelling at Boxey and Dillon. Then, when they finally realized they
were part of the problem and left, Boomer and I started in on each other
again."

"Didn't know they were there." Starbuck murmured so low that Apollo leaned
closer to hear him, then backed off with a sigh as Starbuck shrank away
from him into the pillows propping him up.

Apollo started to speak when Starbuck sat up straighter. "Wait," he rasped.
"That was who came in when you and Boomer were ..." He trailed off, his
brow furrowing. "That can't be right," he murmured, sinking back into the
pillows again.

"What, love?" Apollo prompted.

Starbuck looked up at him fearfully. "Apollo, I keep thinking you and
Boomer were hurting me, punishing me for something, and that you had been
for a long while." His voice cracked, but he continued, needing to know.
"But that can't be right, can it? Apollo?"

Very carefully, Apollo began again, starting further back in time. "We
weren't punishing you, Starbuck," he assured the frightened man. "But we
were hurting you. You were running a really high fever and I guess that and
the pain confused you. You remember the initiation?" At Starbuck's nod,
Apollo told him what had happened afterward.

"I knew you wouldn't hurt me for no reason," Starbuck whispered.

Apollo's tears fell then, as he shook his head. "No, Starbuck, I did hurt
you. I took advantage of you. Boomer was right. I kept you dependent on me
when you were well enough to be up and about."

Starbuck pulled himself up to look eye to eye at Apollo. "I told you before
that's what I want. I need you to control me."

Apollo read the sincerity in his lover's eyes, but shook his head. "The
trouble is, I wasn't in control of myself. I didn't understand when you
kept carrying on with Boxey and Dillon; I couldn't believe you couldn't
stop yourself. Starbuck, I was wrong. I know now. I couldn't stop. I
couldn't even keep it just between us. Starbuck, I nearly destroyed you!
You had to be sedated for sectons!"

"Sectons?" Starbuck whispered. "I didn't realize ..."

"Sectons. Three sectons and two cycles to be exact," Apollo said firmly.
"And you're still not okay. The feeding before the doctor comes has a mild
sedative in it. He hasn't okayed anyone else visiting either!" Starbuck
shrank back again at Apollo's vehemence. "See? Look at you!" Starbuck was
pale and shaking, staring in wide-eyed fear at Apollo. Apollo quickly
calmed himself. Soothingly, without moving towards Starbuck, he continued.
"I'm sorry, love. You see what I do without even trying? I'll get you
something to calm you, okay?"

Starbuck started to protest, then simply nodded. When Apollo returned, he
took the bottle in shaking hands, but before he drank, he whispered, "It's
not your fault, Apollo. It's *my* head that's mixed up and I need you to
help me keep things straight."

Apollo nodded and instructed him, "Drink. You need to rest after what I
just put you through." Starbuck obeyed and Apollo fought his arousal at the
sight of his lover sucking on the large nipple.

***

"Tired?" Apollo asked after seeing Sheba to the door.

"Not really," Starbuck replied, getting up from the chair he'd been sitting
in. Apollo had suggested moving to a chair instead of staying on the couch
when he saw how tense Starbuck got if people, even close friends, got too
close. "But I'll go and rest if you think I should."

Apollo looked at his mate closely. Dr. Paye had told him to turn these
decisions back on Starbuck, but it was difficult. Starbuck didn't look
strained right now, though, which made it easier. "You decide," Apollo said
gently.

Starbuck stood uncertainly in the middle of the room for several microns,
then moved to the couch, carefully watching Apollo for signs of
disapproval.

Apollo smiled and turned towards the kitchen to start dinner. "Do you want
to eat at the table tonight?"

"Real food?" Starbuck asked hopefully.

Apollo hesitated. Dr. Paye was encouraging this, too, but Starbuck had
choked when they had tried, so Apollo had reverted to the bottled
nutrients.

Starbuck quickly backpedaled. "The bottle's fine, Apollo. I can, I can
drink it sitting at the table."

"No, love, you're right. It's time you tried real food again. I'll just
make something easy on your throat. If you can't swallow it solid, I'll
liquefy it. At least you'll get some taste that way."

***

Jenny joined Apollo in the playroom doorway. Apollo was smiling as he
watched Starbuck play a hologame with Jeffers, Jenny and Boomer's oldest
son. A ball rolled against Starbuck's thigh and Apollo stiffened, but
Starbuck merely turned and rolled it back to the two children who'd been
using it. "He's okay, Apollo. He seems perfectly comfortable with the
kids."

"Yeah, he does," Apollo agreed, relaxing against the doorframe again. He'd
almost made excuses to Jeffers when Starbuck had looked to him after being
asked to play, but he'd caught Starbuck's hopeful expression in time and
nodded.

"If you blink, he'll still be okay," Jenny persisted.

"Huh?" Apollo's eyes never left Starbuck. "I'm sorry, Jenny. I'm being
rude, aren't I?" Apollo managed to focus on his hostess briefly before
turning back to his lover.

"Rude? No. Overprotective? Yes!" She watched Starbuck smile and gesture at
something Jeffers said. "Still doesn't speak much, does he?"

"I think it must hurt him to talk," Apollo replied, consciously looking at
her this time. "Dr. Paye says he's got scar tissue from screaming so long."

"Oh, my!" Jenny exclaimed. "I didn't even think of that. I didn't ask what
he could eat."

"I'm sure I'll be able to find enough soft foods for him," Apollo assured
her. "And if not, as long as you've got a liquefier, we'll be all set."

***

"Yeah, same thing happened when they visited us. Starbuck played Pyramid
with the twins - taught them some tricks, I think - while Apollo watched
him like a carne-fowl," Hera said after Jenny described the visit. "More
choco, anyone?"

"Please," Sheba said holding out her cup. "Did he pick out his food, too?"

"Yes." "Yup." came simultaneous replies.

Cass accepted more choco and bit down on a wafer thoughtfully. "Why does
Apollo pick out Starbuck's food?" she asked, swallowing.

"Because he does *everything* for him: answers for him, makes decisions for
him, ..." Sheba started replying.

"No, no, that's not what I meant," Cass interrupted. "I mean, I know you're
right about that and it's certainly disturbing, but I wondered why he can't
just eat what's served."

"Oh," Jenny said, "Apollo said something about scar tissue in his throat.
So he can only eat soft, mild solid food in very small amounts. That's the
reason he doesn't talk much, too.

"Now that doesn't make sense," Cass said, shaking her blonde curls.
"Starbuck might have to chew more carefully and take smaller bites, and his
speech might be softer, but scar tissue doesn't hurt. He should be able to
eat whatever he wants. And it certainly shouldn't affect the amount he
eats."

"At least Apollo isn't bottle-feeding him anymore," Jenny pointed out,
shuddering at the memory of *that* scene.

"Don't be too sure about that," put in Sheba. "When I helped Apollo clear
one night, the bottles were on the counter. I think he doesn't do it in
front of anyone after what happened."

"Well, if he's still bottle-feeding Starbuck, that would explain why the
poor guy eats so little at the table," Jenny said.

"Could be," Cass agreed.

"Knowing my brother, it is," Athena put in. "Troy says Starbuck wanted
Apollo in charge anyhow - way before any of this happened. But Starbuck has
to be able to function on his own and Apollo doesn't seem to be in any
hurry for that to happen."

"Well, he's going to have to be. Boomer says they got the okay from Salik
and Paye to force Apollo back on duty. Short shifts, but at least it's
something," Jenny confided.

"When does he start?" Athena asked.

"I can find out," Sheba volunteered. "Why? Do you have something in mind?"

"Maybe," Athena said. "Just let me know, okay?"

***

Starbuck answered the comm after 10 intervals. He was unsure that he
should, but whoever was calling didn't seem about to give up.

"Hi, Starbuck! Took you long enough to answer," Athena greeted him.

"Hi, Athena," Starbuck replied quietly. "Apollo's on duty."

"Oh." Athena feigned surprise. "Well, I'm having a natal day surprise party
for Greenbean in two cycles and I wanted to be sure you two could make it."

"I can give Apollo the message," Starbuck offered hesitantly.

"You don't know if you're free?" Athena asked in disbelief. Starbuck shook
his head at her image on the display, but remained silent. Finally, Athena
sighed and gave up. She wasn't trying to embarrass Starbuck. "Okay, tell
him to let me know." Starbuck nodded and, after another centon of awkward
silence, Athena said goodbye and broke the connection.

***

"So, they came in late, congratulated Greenbean and gave him his present,
then Apollo settled Starbuck in a corner and brought him a small plate of
food and something to drink. And there Starbuck stayed the whole time.
Apollo mingled, but whenever anyone ventured anywhere near Starbuck, Apollo
was right there," Athena reported to the Starbuck Fan Club.

"Yeah, I noticed it, too," Sheba confirmed. "Somebody's gotta do something.
And it doesn't look like it's going to be one of us." She brightened
suddenly. "I've got an idea! And Apollo will never suspect. Jenny, what if
..." She leaned over and whispered in Jenny's ear.

Jenny broke out in a grin. "Oh, yeah! You are *bad*, girl! But that will
certainly work." She looked around the table. "You ladies just don't want
to know the details here."

The others looked skeptical, but finally Athena said, "Go for it, whatever
it is. The only thing that could happen is that Apollo won't trust us
anymore - and I'm not convinced he does now."

***

"You sure you're up for this?" Apollo asked as he got their dress uniforms.

"I can stay here if you don't want me to go," Starbuck said, trying to
judge from Apollo's expression what the right answer was.

Apollo considered, then decided to give Starbuck all the facts and let him
choose. "I won't be able to look after you much. I have to present the
officer candidates with Troy and then there's sure to be an informal
Council meeting, since they'll all be there. But you haven't been very
visible - neither of us has been to the Rising Star gatherings since the
initiation - so I'd really like the Council to see both of us together to
squash some of the rumors."

Starbuck nodded. "I'll be okay. I'll stay wherever you put me."

"That will work. You've officially been on special assignment, so if you're
'late' and miss the ceremony, no one will remark on it. I'll come and get
you when it's over." Apollo looked at his chrono. "Frack, we're late! Get
dressed and let's go."

***

Apollo had just settled Starbuck into a shadowed alcove when Sire Uri came
sweeping up. He was now retired from the Council, but usually attended the
public functions, as well as hosting many of the more private ones. Now, as
Apollo wondered how he had found them, Uri greeted both men and pulled the
Commander away, spouting a series of questions that were inane even coming
from him.

The warrior call to arms sounded centons later. Dietra appeared in the
entrance to the alcove at the same time. "Colonel, aren't you going to lead
the troops?" she asked after a perfunctory greeting.

Starbuck hesitated for a micron. Then, realizing that Uri knew he was there
- as did Dietra, obviously - he stepped outt of the alcove with her to join
the ranks. Dillon spotted him almost as though he were waiting for him to
appear, and beckoned him to the front of the ranked warriors. As Starbuck
joined him, Dillon whispered, "I wondered if you'd be here. We're just
receiving the new officers, so if you like I can accept the candidates for
both of us and you can escort them to their squad leaders." Grateful,
Starbuck nodded and looked around quickly to locate the leaders.

Apollo tried to leave the dais when he saw Starbuck join Dillon, but was
restrained by his son on one side and Boomer on the other. "He can't ..."
he protested, not sure what it was that Starbuck couldn't do, but certain
that his lover would not be able to handle participating in the ceremony.

"He certainly won't be able to get through it if he sees your expression,"
Boomer hissed in his ear. Apollo heard the truth in Boomer's statement and
schooled his expression to one of mild surprise.

Just then, Starbuck's gaze caught his master's. Apollo managed to smile and
nod encouragingly. A slight smile of relief washed across Starbuck's face
and he somehow seemed to straighten up to full attention and relax at the
same time.

The ceremony went without a hitch and Starbuck went back to his alcove as
soon as the mandatory toasts had been drunk. Apollo joined him as quickly
as he could, scowling at the crowd in his rush to make sure his lover was
all right.

Starbuck recoiled at the grim look on Apollo's face as he entered the
alcove and Apollo moved swiftly to reassure him that he was not angry at
anything he had done. "I'm so sorry, love. Leave it to old Uri to make
things difficult."

"I did the right thing, then?" Starbuck asked timidly.

"Oh yes, love. You were perfect." Apollo gathered Starbuck in a hug,
relieved when he didn't flinch away, although he stiffened at the touch.

"You two act like newly sealed lovebirds instead of the old sealed couple
you are," boomed Uri's voice from behind Apollo. "A word with you,
Commander, if I may."

Apollo sighed and whispered, "I'll be back as soon as I can, love," as he
stood and gestured for Uri to lead the way out of the alcove.

Over a centare passed without Apollo returning, and Starbuck was both
hungry and thirsty. In their rush to avoid being late, Apollo had not had
him drink a bottle of liquid nutrient as he usually did before an outing.
Hesitantly, Starbuck ventured out of the alcove and looked around
uncertainly. He saw Apollo some distance away deep in conversation with a
captain whose ship insignia he didn't recognize. He started towards them,
then stopped, unsure of his welcome.

"You look a little lost, Colonel," came a voice at his elbow.

Starbuck startled and looked over to see Dietra smiling at him. He smiled
slightly. "I guess I am. I was looking for the food table."

"Haven't you eaten?" Dietra asked. Starbuck shook his head no. "Well, I'm
sure there's plenty left. Let me show you the way." She led Starbuck
towards the buffet.

Apollo had started towards Starbuck as soon as he saw him standing
nervously outside the alcove, but he forced himself not to intervene after
Dietra approached and he realized that Starbuck was all right, at least
outwardly.

Apollo woke to the smell of breakfast. Sitting up, he saw Starbuck moving
about the kitchen. "What are you doing up so early, love?" he called.

"I knew you had early duty cycle, so I thought I'd let you sleep a bit and
make breakfast for you," Starbuck replied.

"You didn't have to do that."

Starbuck shrugged. "It's something I can do to be useful," he murmured, his
voice catching. He turned away quickly.

Apollo approached cautiously and gently turned him around. "Starbuck,
what's wrong?"

Starbuck hung his head. He whispered, "I know you don't want me anymore.
You don't even share the bed." He gestured at the couch where Apollo had
been sleeping.

"I didn't think you knew."

"I noticed a while ago. It's okay, I don't blame you. I'm not worth wanting
now, if I ever was."

"That isn't what I meant," Apollo protested. "I just didn't think you knew
I was sleeping out here. I *do* want you. I'll *always* want you."

"It's okay, Apollo," Starbuck repeated, his soft voice firm to make the
point. "You don't have to lie to spare my feelings. You don't even touch me
anymore - unless you have to - you don't sleep with me. I understand. But
you know I can't manage without you. And I know it, too." He paused and
blinked away the tears that were threatening to fall. Briskly, he
continued. "Anyway, I've been trying to think of what I could do to be
useful and I thought of cooking."

"Starbuck, since the big blow-up, you haven't wanted to be touched. You
stiffen up or pull away whenever anyone comes near you, especially me.
That's why I don't touch you anymore. And that's why I started sleeping out
here."

Starbuck nodded and returned to his cooking, but Apollo knew he wasn't
convinced.

***

Starbuck was desperate for physical closeness. If Apollo was being honest
with him, Starbuck knew how to get that closeness back. And, he told
himself, if Apollo was just trying to spare his feelings, that would be
obvious, too.

That night when Apollo brought Starbuck the glass of warm lactate laced
with a mild sedative to help him sleep, Starbuck feigned sleepiness. He
pushed the glass away, splashing some of its contents, and murmured, "Too
tired."

Apollo responded predictably. Knowing that Starbuck would not sleep through
the night without the medication, he transferred the liquid into a bottle
and returned to Starbuck's bedside. "Come on, love, take the bottle," he
cajoled. "You'll sleep better. Just suck on the nipple."

Starbuck looked up and asked, "Feed me?" When Apollo hesitated, Starbuck
begged, "Please, Apollo? I'm so tired."

"All right, love. Come here." Apollo pulled Starbuck onto his lap.

It wasn't long before Starbuck felt Apollo's hardness against his cheek.
Smiling, he drew away from the bottle and nuzzled Apollo's groin. Apollo
groaned and gently pushed his lover away. "I'm sorry, Starbuck," he said.
"I just can't control my response to you sucking."

"I don't want you to," Starbuck replied. "Please, let me suck you." Apollo
nodded reluctantly and Starbuck immediately rolled onto his side and went
to work. It didn't take long, between Starbuck's talented mouth and
Apollo's need. Throwing himself back onto the pillows, Apollo sobbed with
pleasure as he spurted into Starbuck's eager mouth. He lay there panting as
Starbuck licked him clean. For a few more centons he lay back, stroking
Starbuck's head as it lay in his lap.

Finally Apollo roused himself. He sat up and looked down as his lover, who
really was half-asleep now, and saw the contented smile on his face. 'All
right,' he thought. 'My way certainly wasn't working. We'll try it your
way.' "Wake up, Starbuck. You have to finish the bottle."

"Too tired," Starbuck said again.

Apollo laughed softly. "I'll only fall for that once a cycle."

"*Really* too tired," Starbuck insisted.

"Tell you what," Apollo said persuasively. "If you finish the bottle, I'll
reward you." He reached under Starbuck's nightshirt and stroked his
buttocks.

Starbuck opened his eyes fully. "Tonight?"

"Tonight."

"While I'm still awake?"

"Oh, I don't think you'll sleep through my reward, love."

"'Kay." Starbuck propped himself up on his side, leaning against Apollo.
Apollo pulled Starbuck's nightshirt off, put a supporting arm around him,
and offered the bottle. Starbuck took the nipple in his mouth and started
sucking. His eyes began drifting closed and he fought to stay awake.

Apollo watched Starbuck's face as he let his supporting arm drift downward,
his hand skimming Starbuck's skin until it touched the cleft in his
buttocks. A firm finger pushed down the cleft to the puckered opening.
Starbuck went rigid. His eyes snapped open and he whimpered around the
nipple. Apollo stilled his hand. "Tell me what you want, Starbuck."

Shivering, Starbuck whispered, "I want you to control me. I want you in
charge of my body."

Apollo didn't move. "But you're afraid."

Starbuck nodded, a tear sliding down his cheek. "But it's still what I want
- what I need." He struggled to express himmself. "When we were sealed, I
gave myself to you. I'm yours, to do with as you wish - I trust you even
when I'm afraid, even when you hurt me or punish me."

"You're sure?" Starbuck nodded. Apollo said, "We need rules."

"Yes," Starbuck agreed. "But not tonight. Tonight you do what you want -
what we both want. You haven't for a long time. You've been listening to
everyone else but yourself." Starbuck's voice was rasping for the unusually
long speech. He paused to suck a little more from the bottle and moisten
his throat. He reddened as he continued. "Apollo, you know I like the pain
as much as the pleasure. More than 'like'; I need it. No one else knows
that Give us both what we need. Please."

Apollo realized Starbuck was right. He had shown Starbuck how good loving
sex could be, but Starbuck still seemed to need pain; so much so he
sometimes goaded Apollo into complete domination, rough sex, even into
violent loss of control. That had to stop. But right now Apollo knew he
could give Starbuck what he wanted. "Drink," he said firmly. "Finish the
bottle. If you finish and don't cum and don't wet yourself, I'll reward
you." He shoved the bottle into Starbuck's face, forcing the nipple into
his mouth. Then, as Starbuck sucked, Apollo began teasing his anus with one
finger. Starbuck whimpered. Apollo slapped his buttocks. Starbuck returned
to sucking the nipple and Apollo returned to scratching around Starbuck's
anus.

Abruptly, Apollo thrust one dry finger all the way in. Starbuck choked back
a cry and continued sucking. "Good boy," Apollo murmured as he thrust his
finger in and out. He began searching for the hidden gland with his finger,
prodding it roughly when he found it. "Are you getting hard?" he whispered.
Starbuck moaned, sucked, and nodded. Apollo chuckled. "Show me," he
ordered.

Starbuck pushed down the covers, fully exposing his burgeoning erection.
Involuntarily his hands started for it. He stopped and looked up at his
master. Apollo nodded and Starbuck fondled his balls with one hand and
stroked himself with the other.

"Roll onto your back," Apollo commanded. Starbuck obeyed, impaling himself
even more fully on Apollo's finger. "Roll back your foreskin." Starbuck's
cock glistened with pre-cum. "Wipe up the pre-cum and let me taste you,
love." Apollo leaned forward to suck Starbuck's proffered fingers. With
each finger he sucked into his mouth, he added a finger to Starbuck's ass.
When all four fingers were in, he stopped sucking Starbuck's fingers and
started twisting his impaled hand, letting his thumb graze Starbuck's sac
as he moved.

Starbuck still held his foreskin back with one hand. His cock throbbed in
time to his sucking on the nipple. His newly freed hand squeezed his balls
to the same rhythm. Apollo watched, mesmerized as his lover stimulated
himself to the edge of climax.

"Stop," Apollo said, removing the now-empty bottle from Starbuck's lips. He
slid out from under Starbuck and laid him down gently, never removing his
fingers from their tight sheath. One-handed, he removed his own clothes and
tossed them aside. "Ready for your reward?" he asked softly.

Starbuck nodded and watched with glazed eyes as Apollo lowered himself onto
him, cock to cock, rolled them to their sides, and started rubbing their
bodies together. Apollo lowered his head to Starbuck's. He whispered, "You
can cum now," just before he brutally plundered Starbuck's mouth, pounding
his ass with the embedded fingers at the same time. Starbuck climaxed
immediately and violently, his whole body spasming. Apollo followed microns
later.

They lay together, still joined at mouth and ass, for almost half a
centare. Starbuck was asleep by the time Apollo extricated himself. He
padded into the bathroom and cleaned himself up, then brought warm, wet
towels and cleaned Starbuck. Returning with dry towels, Apollo made sure he
had done no damage. He tossed the towels aside and lay down again in the
same position, pulling the covers up over both of them. One finger idly
probed Starbuck's anus and Starbuck, still sleeping, thrust back onto it.
Apollo smiled and left his finger inside his lover as he fell asleep beside
him.

***

Rules. Apollo and Starbuck both knew they had to have them. Over the secton
since they had reconciled, they had tried to discuss them several times in
the privacy of their quarters. But the discussions inevitably turned erotic
and the rules themselves were forgotten. Apollo decided to try a different
location. "Get dressed," he called to his nude lover as he came in from
patrol.

Starbuck was curled up on the couch reading. He looked up at the unexpected
order, trying to determine why it was given.

Apollo smiled reassuringly from the door. "We have to set some rules and we
don't seem capable of managing that in here." A ghost of the familiar smirk
appeared on Starbuck's face and Apollo grinned back. "Yeah, I'm not
complaining, but we need to do this before ..." He trailed off, not wanting
to disturb the positive mood by bringing up bad memories.

"Before something happens and I get hurt," Starbuck finished for him, still
smiling. "You're right. And it's okay to say it. That's gotta be one of the
rules: We both have to stop second guessing each other and censoring
ourselves when we talk to each other." Before he lost his nerve and became
passive again, Starbuck changed the subject. "So where are we going?"

"Somewhere public," Apollo replied. "Any suggestions?"

"Really public?" Starbuck asked.

Apollo realized Starbuck hadn't been out except for formal occasions and
never without Apollo since his breakdown. He nodded. "Wherever you want to
go."

"The O Club?"

Apollo was surprised. He'd thought Starbuck would pick a quieter, less
crowded venue, but he agreed. "Sure."

"How do you want me to dress?"

Starbuck was really asking what role Apollo wanted him to play. Apollo
suddenly realized how badly they needed rules. "Your uniform is fine,
unless you want to make a statement."

Starbuck shook his head. "Thanks. I don't want to make a statement until
we've laid down the rules, but I wasn't sure ... I mean, I am still yours -
I don't want the rules to change that ..."

"It's okay, love," Apollo broke into the stammered explanation. "I feel the
same way, but I agree we shouldn't advertise anything until we've settled
the details. Now get dressed." He swatted playfully at his lover's bare
rear and Starbuck danced away laughing.

***

"Dinner, sirs, or just drinks?" the attendant asked. The Club wasn't
crowded midway through a duty cycle, but they had chosen a table tucked
beside the bar for some privacy. The attendant hadn't noticed them right
away, but had hurried over as soon as he realized who was occupying the
table.

Starbuck looked hopefully at Apollo and Apollo felt a pang of guilt. He had
taken control too far for too long, depriving Starbuck of simple pleasures
like choosing what he ate and where. "Dinner, please. What have you got on
hand tonight?" He listened to the brief list and made a choice, then turned
to his mate. "Starbuck, what will you have?"

Starbuck was startled not to have his food selected for him, but quickly
reviewed the choices mentally and gave his order to the attendant.

"Will you have grog or ambrosa with your meal, sirs?" the attendant
prompted.

"Just a glass of bubbling aqua for me," Starbuck replied without waiting
for Apollo.

"A mug of grog, hot," Apollo said.

The attendant nodded and moved off to place their orders at bar and
kitchen. He returned quickly with the drinks and some complimentary
mushies, then left the two officers to their conversation.

"Thanks, Apollo," Starbuck said after he had taken a sip of his aqua.

"For what?"

Starbuck shrugged and toyed with a mushie. "For letting me pick what I
wanted to eat and drink."

"I shouldn't ever have controlled you that way. Not once you were able to
take care of yourself. I think that should be one of the rules - I don't
control those things that have nothing to do with our relationship."

Starbuck leaned back in his chair, and visibly relaxed. Until then, Apollo
hadn't realized how tense he was. "That would be good." He hesitated. "I,
uh, I wasn't sure I could have an intoxicant. Am I cleared for that?"

"Hmm. Didn't you have a drink at the induction ceremony?"

"I didn't actually drink. I just put the glass to my lips. I figured you
hadn't given me anything intoxicating, so I shouldn't risk it."

Apollo nodded. "Actually, it didn't come up. I ... *you* should ask Paye or
Salik."

"'Kay. Am I due for a checkout for duty anytime soon?"

Apollo looked down and fiddled with his napkin. "Actually, you're overdue.
I keep putting it off. Why don't you schedule one in the morning?"

"It's okay, Apollo. You probably know better than them how I'm doing
anyway. Don't feel guilty about taking care of me. That should be another
rule: You shouldn't hesitate to take care of me, but I shouldn't hesitate
to let you know if I think you're overdoing it." He paused and glanced at
Apollo to see how he was reacting. Apollo nodded his agreement and Starbuck
continued. "Only, even if you don't agree, you shouldn't punish me for
telling you that." Apollo nodded again, his mouth quirking in a grimace in
the knowledge that Starbuck was right to include that in the rule. "And,
once I've told you, I have to abide by your decision to continue or not."

"That's not necessary," Apollo said.

"Yeah, it really is," Starbuck answered ruefully. "If I had obeyed you
about Troy and Dillon, a lot of this wouldn't have happened. I could have
avoided situations that led to my servicing them," he admitted, "but I
didn't, because I didn't really agree with you. I knew I couldn't say no to
them, but I set myself up anyway."

Dinner came then and the two men ate in companionable silence. Starbuck
couldn't finish the large portion he was served, but ate enough to allay
Apollo's fears that he wasn't ready to eat in public.

After dinner, Apollo pulled out his memo keypad and they began in earnest
to set down rules. The final list looked like this.

1. Apollo's control does not extend to any on-duty activities except
insofar as he is Starbuck's commanding officer.

2. Starbuck, after checking that Apollo has not already made plans, can
make off-duty plans that do not include Apollo, as long as there is no
sexual element to them.

3. Apollo cannot include others in sexual activities without Starbuck's
prior consent.

4. In public places, with the exception of the Council "parties" on the
Rising Star, Apollo will not control Starbuck, unless Starbuck has agreed
in advance.

5. At private social events, Apollo can assert dominance over Starbuck only
in those areas that affect their relationship, and not over minor decisions
such as choice of food or drink or whether to participate in a game.

6. In private and at Council "parties", Apollo controls all aspects of
Starbuck's life, including dress, personal hygiene, and eating and sleeping
arrangements, as long as this control does not impact Starbuck's ability to
perform on-duty.

7. In private and at Council "parties", Apollo can train Starbuck as he
sees fit, as long as the training does not affect Starbuck's ability to
interact with others socially and to perform on-duty.

8. In private and at council "parties", Apollo can administer corporal
discipline to Starbuck at any time with the following constraints:

a. Such discipline does not result in the need for medical treatment.
b. Such discipline, when administered in private, does not involve others
without Starbuck's prior consent.
c. Such discipline does not affect Starbuck's ability to interact with
others socially and to perform on-duty.
d. Such discipline may be administered in public, at private social events,
or on-duty with Starbuck's prior consent.

9. Starbuck must obey Apollo at all times and in all situations, whether
they conform with the rules stated above or not, with the following
exceptions:

a. Obedience would result in physical danger to Starbuck or others.
b. Obedience would result in physical injury to Starbuck or others.
c. Obedience would endanger the fleet or any part of it.

10. Starbuck can inform Apollo when Apollo has broken the rules or is using
them inappropriately. Apollo will not discipline Starbuck for telling him
about this. Starbuck will continue to obey Apollo after informing him,
except in the situations noted in (9) above.

***

"Hi, love. Did you get cleared to fly?" Apollo asked, looking up as the
door to their quarters slid open.

Starbuck walked in and snarled, "Oh, yeah. I'm cleared to fly - cleared to
fly *shuttles*!" He hurled the folder of papers he was carrying across the
room with such force that Apollo instinctively ducked. "Seems I'm not
'resilient' enough to be trusted in a viper," he continued bitterly as he
stormed across the room and threw himself on the couch. "Funny. I was
resilient enough after Baltar had at me for yahrens. But a few sectons with
you ..." he lapsed into silence, scowling.

Apollo noticed that Starbuck had made no move to take off his uniform. "I'm
sorry, love," he said softly.

Starbuck was on his feet immediately, looming over his seated lover. "Was
that your recommendation, too?" he asked, fists clenching at his sides.

Apollo couldn't remember the last time Starbuck had shown any anger. In a
way, he reflected, it was a good sign. He shook his head. "No. I refused to
participate in the evaluation. I'm just too close to everything."

"And Troy and Boomer - to say nothing of *Captain* Dillon - aren't?"

"You could appeal."

"To whom? You'd have to disqualify yourself." Starbuck began pacing,
erratically kicking at invisible objects as he roamed the room. "Half the
Council - no, make that the whole Council - is 'too close'. They'd probably
want me to prove my resiliency - sexually, of course. Maybe you're thinking
Security should decide - Reese would love that! Maybe I should just plead
my case on the IFB!" With that, he headed for the door.

"Starbuck."

Starbuck froze at the door, but didn't turn around. "What?"

Apollo knew all the wrong things to say. He could invoke the rules, several
of which Starbuck had broken in the last few centons. He could assert his
dominance. He could simply take control. Instead he asked, "Will you be
back for dinner?"

Starbuck paused. It wasn't what he expected. "I don't know," he replied
finally. "The one piece of good news is that I'm cleared for all nutrients
and non-nutrients. Maybe I'll just go and reacquaint myself with the power
of intoxicants." He triggered the door and walked out.

***

"Apollo," Starbuck began carefully, wanting to get his words right the
first time. "What you're telling me to do is both in public and on-duty."

"I know," Apollo acknowledged. "I've considered that. But it would occur
only when you were alone with Council members on a shuttle, so that could
be considered in private or at a Council party. And it won't interfere with
your duties." At Starbuck's silence, Apollo continued. "Besides, I've got
to share you. They've been sharing ..." Starbuck arched an eyebrow. "Not
that it's your business," Apollo grated, unwillingly confessing, "But from
time to time, at the end of Council meetings, the slaves on the Council
service the masters. Including me. Mention has been made that I don't share
you, but there was no real opportunity before. Now, with you piloting
shuttles, the opportunity is there."

"Okay."

"It won't be that bad. Just a quick suck or fuck." Starbuck nodded, but
didn't meet Apollo's eyes. "And now," Apollo continued, his change of tone
bringing Starbuck's head up, "I'd like to discuss where you went last night
without informing me." He reached for the riding crop laying on his desk.

Starbuck shivered and knelt in front of his master. His cock twitched in
anticipation. Head down, he smiled and licked his lips. Apollo was getting
good at discipline. It almost made up for having to service the Councilors.

***

"You refused Reese."

"He's not a Councilor. You said Councilors," Starbuck replied stubbornly.
He stood at attention, naked, as Apollo circled him. His buttocks were
bright red from the paddle whose handle was holding his anus open. Each
time Apollo passed behind Starbuck, he tapped the paddle, sending a wave of
agonizing pleasure through Starbuck's body.

"He's a master. You were alone with him in the shuttle and it didn't
interfere with your duties. You're playing semantic games!" Apollo's anger
was real. Reese was a threat to all his plans. If Apollo was going to be
able to put an end to this perverse escalation of sexual blackmail within
the Council, he had to bide his time and raise no suspicions. Starbuck knew
that and yet he had endangered the entire scheme. Apollo reached out and
viciously twisted the paddle. Starbuck cried out in pain. "Down!" Apollo
ordered.

Starbuck obeyed and braced himself. Apollo angry was Apollo out of control.
Starbuck knew he was about to be injured, but his body hungered for it. He
hadn't purposely goaded Apollo by refusing Reese, he simply couldn't stand
the man on any terms, but he hadn't experienced Apollo's fury in too long
and part of him needed the reminder.

Apollo raped Starbuck furiously with the paddle until the fibers snapped
under his fist. Impatiently he pulled the broken end out of his slave's
body and thrust it into his mouth, motioning Starbuck to remove his
clothes. Starbuck carefully undressed Apollo, trying not to choke on the
filthy stick, then knelt back, disregarding the pain of his heels on his
buttocks, and waited for the next instruction.

In answer to his slave's mute plea, Apollo threw him over the back of the
couch and thrust his cock into the bloody opening. Grabbing Starbuck's
rigid member in one hand, Apollo grated, "You will not come!" as he began
roughly stimulating him in time to his own rhythmic thrusts. It was an
impossible demand. Starbuck lost the fight with his body and spurted,
bringing Apollo over the edge, pounding into him.

As soon as he recovered, Apollo began punishing Starbuck for his
disobedience. Fist fucking him, in up to his elbow, he simultaneously
twisted and pinched Starbuck's genitals. Starbuck screamed, the broken
paddle handle falling from his mouth, and passed out.

When he came to, Starbuck was propped against the back of the couch. Apollo
emerged from the turbowash, drying his hands and arms. He noted that
Starbuck was rigid again. The man thrived on pain and Apollo found it hard
to resist the temptation to see how far that could go. He didn't dare touch
him again; his handprint was still visible, livid against the throbbing
purple cock. "Relieve yourself," he ordered.

Through a haze of pain, Starbuck did as he was told, bringing himself off
in a wash of mixed pleasure and agony. His cum was frothy pink. He looked
up, barely fending off the blackness again.

"From now on, you will check with Security at the beginning and end of your
duty shift. If Reese is on duty, you will obey his orders. You are to
inform me only if those orders interfere with your ability to perform your
duties. Is that clear?"

Starbuck nodded. Apollo gazed at him for a micron more, then turned and
entered the bedroom, sealing the door after him. Starbuck sighed and closed
his eyes, praying for sleep to take him.

***

"Colonel, I believe I require your assistance," Sire Uri purred from his
seat at the rear of the shuttle.

"A moment, Master, while I put the shuttle on auto-pilot and set a
proximity alarm," Starbuck replied respectfully. Suiting action to word, he
sighed softly and approached the elderly man. Uri wasn't a Councilor any
longer, but Starbuck knew better than to deny him.

Uri sat with his robe open playing with his limp member. Time and his
licentious lifestyle had not been kind to his body. Starbuck ducked his
head to hide his grimace as he knelt between Uri's knees. Snickers came
from the Council members seated to either side of him. The proximity alarm
might well sound before Starbuck could coax a dribble of semen from the
well-used organ. Luckily, Sire Uri was no longer a vindictive or malicious
man; he would not blame Starbuck for his failing body. And, with any luck,
there would be no time for any of the more robust Councilors to demand
service.

Starbuck bent his head and raised his hands to his task, gently stimulating
the flaccid penis. Slowly, he coaxed it into a semblance of life, a mockery
of what it had once been, but enough to bring a groan of pleasure from the
old man. Starbuck sucked it softly into his mouth, rolling it on his tongue
until Uri arched his back and began thrusting. Starbuck used suction to
keep some semblance of rigidity in the organ.

A few salty drops fell onto Starbuck's tongue just as the proximity alarm
clanged. Sire Uri sighed his pleasure as Starbuck quickly licked him clean.
He turned away to hide his smile as the younger Councilors tried to turn
their chuckles into coughs before Uri took notice. His smile faded when he
saw the incoming message at the console: Reese was on duty, having relieved
the scheduled security officer while Starbuck was en route back to the
Galactica.

***

"I got this on Earth," Reese explained to the naked slave kneeling
prostrate at his feet. "It's called a 'billy club'." He shrugged. "I don't
know what that means, but I watched their security forces - I think they're
called policemen - use it on their version of the IFB."

Starbuck eyed the shaped wooden stick warily.

"Oh, that's right," Reese said with exaggerated surprise, "Foolish me. You
weren't with us on Earth. Well. Let me demonstrate how it's used then." He
paused as if to think of a scenario. "Let's play policeman. Say you were a
slave who was trying to escape his master." When Starbuck didn't move,
Reese said impatiently, "Well, go on. Try to escape. Get up and run from
me."

Starbuck got to his knees, still staring suspiciously at Reese, who
gestured imperiously. He turned and rose to a crouch, then sprang away.
Almost immediately Reese threw the billy club, hitting him in the back of
the knees. As Starbuck stumbled, Reese grabbed up the club and closed on
him. Starbuck turned to meet his attacker and was punched in the stomach by
the blunt end of the billy club. As he doubled over, Reese hit him in the
small of the back and across the shoulders repeatedly until he was flat on
his face on the floor.

Reese nudged him over onto his back with the billy club and grinned at the
dazed expression on Starbuck's face. The violence combined with mastery of
his old enemy aroused him. He rubbed the bulge in his uniform pants
meaningfully with one hand, swinging the billy club with the other.
"Pleasure me, Slave," he ordered, tapping Starbuck's ribs with the club.

Starbuck rolled painfully to his knees. With shaking hands he undid Reese's
pants and pulled out the engorged cock. Then he opened his mouth and sucked
it in.

Reese took control, grabbing Starbuck by the hair while thrusting brutally
in and out of his mouth. The billy club, hanging from its strap on Reese's
wrist, banged against the side of Starbuck's head in counterpoint to the
thrusts. Reese's cock was as impatient as he was, thankfully, and the oral
rape didn't last long. After he climaxed, Reese held Starbuck's face
against his groin until he softened and fell out of Starbuck's mouth.
Starbuck carefully licked him clean while gasping for air.

Abruptly, Reese pushed him away. "Assume the position," he said, then "ass
up, on all fours," when Starbuck looked bewildered. "Assume the position's
one of those things the Earth security said. I always wanted to say it." He
chuckled. When Starbuck didn't respond, he said, "Well, I guess you had to
be there." He slapped the end of the billy club into his open palm. "This
is something else they did with it," he explained when Starbuck startled at
the noise. "Then there was the really interesting use." Reese's leer and
tone of voice made Starbuck shiver involuntarily. "I guess this was
actually not quite legal, but it looked like a lot of fun."

Without warning, Reese thrust the billy club into Starbuck's rectum,
pumping in and out vigorously until he was panting for breath. Starbuck
collapsed onto the floor, silent only because he was retching and couldn't
scream. Reese pulled the club out of Starbuck and rolled it clean along his
back. "Well, that was fun," he said. "Only problem is, I'm hard again.
Well, I can see I've tired you out. Not to worry, I'll take care of myself.
He jerked off almost as roughly as he had thrust into Starbuck until he was
about to climax. Then, aiming carefully, he shot his wad directly into
Starbuck's face. He cleaned himself in Starbuck's hair. Rising and pulling
his pants up, he checked his chrono then looked down at his victim.
"Shift's over. Clean up before you leave, would you?" Laughing, he turned
on his heel and left.

***

"I don't know where he is," Apollo was saying into the comm unit as
Starbuck stumbled in. "Wait he just came in. I'll see that he gets to you
in no more than a centar." He followed Starbuck into the turbowash. "Where
the frak have you been? You missed your appointment with Dr. Paye and
you're two centars late getting home!" When Starbuck didn't answer, Apollo
grabbed him by the shoulders and spun him around. "You're not using the
turboflush until you answer me."

"I can't do this anymore," Starbuck managed to gasp out before he felt his
stomach roll. He tore free of Apollo's grasp and bent over the turboflush,
vomiting up gouts of blood.

Apollo's anger turned to panic. "What happened?" he cried.

"Reese. Billy club." Starbuck realized that probably didn't make much
sense, but it was all he could manage. His stomach finally emptied and he
rinsed his mouth with the water Apollo silently offered, then slumped
against the turboflush. "Had to clean up his office after," he continued.
"Once the pain went away. Then I felt sick. Came here. Closer than Life
Center." He stopped speaking suddenly, turning white with pain. "Have to
... pee. Help me?"

Apollo lifted and supported his lover, in fact undid his pants and aimed
his swollen and bruised penis. He almost dropped Starbuck in shock when he
saw the stream it produced. The dark red liquid that spurted did not
resemble urine. A look at Starbuck's face - eyes squeezed closed, mouth
clamped shut - told him more than words could about the pain his mate was
in.

When Starbuck was done urinating, Apollo carried him into the living area
and laid him on the couch. He commed Paye then returned to Starbuck's side.

Paye arrived with more unwelcome news. Councilor Arquint's body had been
found, stuck halfway out a refuge dump. His arm had caught on a corner,
which prevented the body from being fully expelled from the ship. He had
been tortured and was dead before being put into the refuge dump. Paye
looked pointedly at Starbuck, then at Apollo.

When Apollo turned away, Paye began examining Starbuck. He administered
pain killers and used a portable laser to heal the worst of the torn
tissue. "He was lucky," Paye said to Apollo. "No vital organs were ruptured
- this time." He let his words hang in the  air as he packed his med kit and
left.

***

Apollo came instantly awake when he felt the mattress tilt under him. In
the darkness, he could make out his partner cautiously finding his balance
next to the bed. "Starbuck, is everything all right?"

"Yeah, just a little sore," Starbuck responded, stretching to crack his
back. "Paye did a good job." He winced as he twisted the kinks from his
back, belying his words. A secton spent mostly laying on his stomach had
left him achy.

"Why are you up?"

"Early shuttle run to the Agro Ship. Next two sectons. Your son's idea of
'light duty'."

"He always was an early riser, unlike some people I could mention. He
probably really does consider it light duty - no passengers and no heavy
lifting. You're sure you're ..."

"Yes, Commander, I'm sure I'm well enough to fly the shuttle." Starbuck
flung the closet open and removed his uniform, brushing it out as he walked
back to the bed. He grunted as he bent to pull off his night shorts, but
before Apollo could comment, he muttered, "Easier to sleep naked, you know.
You'd think a master would *want* his sex slave to sleep naked, but not
*my* master." He pulled on a pair of briefs and sat on the side of the bed
to put his socks on.

Apollo gave up with a chuckle and threw a pillow at him. "You're always so
cheerful when you wake up, Bucko!"

"You take the early Alpha Shuttle run and see how cheerful you are," came
the muffled reply as Starbuck pushed his head and arms into his shirt.
Standing to pull up his pants, he continued, "Just don't wake me with your
complaints when you do."

"Well, there are perks to being the Commander," Apollo commented. "I think
I'll just go back to sleep for a centar or two." He rolled over and
burrowed into the coverlet.

"Humph! I can tell the romance has gone out of our relationship," Starbuck
commented. "No offer to make me breakfast. Not even a farewell kiss."

"You haven't brushed your teeth yet - and I know where your mouth's been,"
Apollo declared before pulling a pillow over his head.

"My mouth's all anyone's gonna get for a while yet," Starbuck answered.
"You can punish me any way you want. I'm not providing any other service -
to you or anyone else - until my butt stops reminding me of how wide it was
stretched."

Starbuck had kept his tone light, but Apollo was out of bed instantly,
gathering him in his arms. "I won't punish you, love. And you can refer
anyone who asks to me. The word was passed that you're off limits. You just
let me know when you're ready for me again, 'kay?"

Starbuck nuzzled his lover's shoulder. "Now don't go getting soft on me.
You know I need a firm hand - and other things." He grabbed at Apollo's
groin, while nipping his neck lightly. Then he stepped back with a leer.
"Gotta run - duty calls!"

"You tease!" Apollo grabbed the pillow he had thrown earlier and tossed it
in Starbuck's general direction. Starbuck fended it off and blew him a kiss
as he went through the door.

***

Starbuck took a step back as Sire Uri reached for his nether cheeks. He
smiled apologetically and bent his head to kiss the wrinkled hand he held.
"I'm sorry I can't accommodate you, Master," he said softly. "But I'm still
recovering from an injury that prevents it."

Uri sighed and nodded, but one of the Councilors on the shuttle grabbed
Starbuck's arm. "You've been 'recovering' from whatever ails you for six
sectons, Slave. I think it's time you were checked out."

Before Starbuck could reply, Uri's commanding voice cut through the murmurs
of assent from the others in the shuttle, master and slave alike. "Let him
go. This is neither the time nor place for an examination."

Starbuck pulled free when the Councilor who held him proved reluctant to
obey, and turned a relieved face at Sir Uri. "Thank you, Master." He turned
to the others. "I regret displeasing you. Buy my Master instructed me to
continue to refuse other than oral service. You need to speak to him."

Uri nodded. "As a matter of fact, Commander Apollo has asked for a few
moments of our time when we convene this evening. I suspect we will be able
to ascertain the truth then."

***

There were a few rumbles of discontent at the - at least temporary - end to
the sexual element in the fleet's governance, but Arquint's death, coupled
with the still visible evidence of the attack on Starbuck, made a unanimous
decision by the Council, master and slave alike, inevitable.

"The problem is Reese," Councilor Sacchi summed up after urging Starbuck to
dress and make himself comfortable.

"Can't he just be arrested for murder?" a young slave Councilor asked.

"It's not that simple," Apollo explained. "We all know it must have been
him. But we have no proof."

"Surely the assault on Starbuck could be prosecuted."

"If we had reported it when it happened it could have been."

"Oh."

"With the Council's permission?" Starbuck rose and waited for their assent.
"If Apollo and Dr. Paye had reported the assault the adjudicators would
have realized it wasn't an isolated incident. Let's face it, I'm a trained
warrior and I was armed at the time, just coming off duty as I was. How
could Reese have overpowered me, gotten me to his office, and injured me
this way without assistance or restraint? There would have been too many
questions. Better to let anyone who knows I was hurt think it was rough sex
that just went too far." He looked around the room and several of the
Councilors, both masters and slaves, shifted their eyes away uncomfortably.
"Maybe, in a way, it was," he concluded softly.

***

Reese chafed under the new restrictions. He needed a slave and now he
couldn't get one. "I'll bet the Councilors and Warriors still get to play
any way they want - with whoever they want," he mumbled to himself,
chugging grog in his quarters. "But not ol' Reese. Not good enough to be a
Warrior, huh?" He finished the grog and picked up the billy club, stroking
it. "Bet Starbuck is still goin' down on whoever snaps his fingers. Prob'ly
healed enough to go bottoms up for 'em, too. Well, I may not be good enough
to *be* a Warrior, but I sure as Hades am good enough to *take* a Warrior.
Guess the Commander and his slut need to be reminded of that." Reese
smirked, remembering the secton's schedule: Starbuck was taking the first
shuttle of the day out to the Agro Ship to pick up the early harvest
offering for some sect or other. He picked up the bottle to pour himself
another mug of grog, shrugged, and drank straight from the bottle, not
stopping until it was empty. Attaching the club to his utility belt, Reese
straightened his uniform, wiped the foam from his upper lip onto his
shirtsleeve, and headed out to the flight deck.

Starbuck smiled to himself as he heard the unmistakable sounds of Reese
stumbling drunkenly towards the shuttle, muttering to himself. Starbuck had
worked hard to set this up. Convincing Troy that he *wanted* the early
shift, when the launch bay was empty, had been difficult enough. Then
complaining loudly to anyone who would listen about the horrors of having
to be awake to do the preflight check: "I actually have to be there a good
ten centons earlier, because it takes me longer to run the checklist when
I'm half-asleep." 'Well, Bucko, looks like the rodentus took the bait,' he
thought. He carefully unbuckled his laser gun and placed it, in its
holster, in clear view on the front console. Then he rolled under the rear
passenger seats, legs hanging out, to fix a non-existent loose bolt.

Reese entered stealthily, congratulating himself on how quietly he had
approached the shuttle. With exaggerated care he locked the pilot's
entrance. He noted the gunbelt lying on the pilot's station and snorted.
"You're a bigger fool than I thought, *Colonel*," he mumbled, unhooking the
billy club as he looked around for Starbuck. He spotted his legs and
decided to disable him first, then drag him into the open to have his fun.

***

Sire Uri arrived early at the launch bay. There were generally few
passengers on the early shuttles and he didn't want to risk missing the
first one and being seen going to his assignation. Uri had eyes and ears
throughout the fleet, some of whom he did not wish to be seen with. An
early, unplanned stroll through the citrus groves on the Agro Ship would be
looked on as the whimsy of a Senior, nothing more. He strode through the
passenger's entrance to the shuttle and stopped short. The sounds of a
struggle were clear. With the caution that had helped him survive to old
age, he moved silently towards the sounds. As he glided by the passenger
seating, the noises stopped and so did Uri, but only for a moment. Then
different noises drew him again towards the front of the shuttle.

Uri found himself following a trail of fresh blood and his hand went to his
robe pocket as he slid silently along the inner hull. Rounding the curve in
the hull, Uri stopped. His free hand went to his mouth in horror. His other
hand tightened in his pocket.

Lying in the middle of the floor lay Colonel Starbuck. He lay on his back
on top of his own blood-soaked uniform, which had clearly been slashed off
him with no regard to the damage done to his body. His limbs lay still at
impossible angles to his body, exposing his genitals and anus. His lower
torso was propped up by a thick rod or branch of some sort, blood and other
substances dripping down it, jammed into his anus so far that it lifted his
buttocks well off the floor. His torso heaved and shook as he attempted to
relieve the pressure and pain radiating from his rectum. His movements
revealed that his chest, stomach, and buttocks were purple with bruises and
internal bleeding. Bloody vomit covered his face and was the source of the
choking sounds which had gotten Uri's attention. Standing over Starbuck,
panting as he masturbated, was Reese.

It took only a micron for Sire Uri to note all this. Then he was in motion
again. His hand came out of his pocket holding a personal laser pistol. He
approached the oblivious security chief, grated out, "Reese," to get his
attention, then emptied the laser's charge directly into Reese's heart as
the man turned towards him.

Reese toppled slowly sideways, hand still on his now emptying penis. He
fell with a thud, and Uri kicked him out of the way so that he could
approach Starbuck. Uri sank to the floor at Starbuck's head. Afraid of
doing more harm than good, Uri only lifted Starbuck's head and turned it
enough to ensure his vomit had a clear path out of his mouth. When
Starbuck's heaving stopped, Uri lowered his head onto his lap, disregarding
the smells and soil. Sitting absolutely still, he listened until he heard
the launch crew. Only then did he bellow for help.

***

Apollo finished spooning the pureed primaries into Starbuck's mouth and set
the dish and spoon aside. He gently washed the evidence of dinner from the
expressionless face, then took the dinner tray into the food preparation
area. Returning, he took Starbuck's limp hand in one of his and gently
turned his lover's face so that the vacant eyes stared in his general
direction. Brushing the blond hair from the thin face, Apollo spoke softly.
"Starbuck, love, they tell me I'm wasting my time. They say that Sire Uri
was too late, that you'd been choking too long. I don't want to believe
that. I want to believe that he saved more than your life - that you're in
there somewhere, just afraid to come out." He paused, searched his lover's
face for some sign of response, then sighed. "Reese is dead. Sire Uri
killed him. No one will hurt you anymore. It's safe to come out." Apollo
waited again, and let the tears flow until he couldn't see Starbuck's face
clearly. Wiping his eyes, he continued in a whisper. "Starbuck, if you'd
come back, I would never hurt you again. Not if I found you with Boxey and
Dillon every night." His voice broke then, and he hung his head, sobbing.

Cass came in quietly and put her hand on Apollo's shoulder. "It's time,
Apollo. Starbuck's falling asleep, see?" Apollo looked at the closed eyes
and nodded. "Dr. Salik wants to talk to you before you leave, okay? Why
don't you go ahead and I'll get Starbuck ready for the night. Then you can
come back and tuck him in."

Sighing, Apollo nodded again. He smiled sadly at Cass. "I'm running out of
arguments, aren't I?" he asked.

"We all wanted to believe he'd snap out of it. And there is some brain
activity," Cass replied, falling back on clinical expertise to mask her own
grief. "But it's just been too long with no sign of improvement. I'm sorry,
Apollo."

Apollo turned away and went to face Salik.

***

Apollo sat down on the bed and pulled Starbuck into his lap. As he had for
quartiles now, he turned Starbuck's face towards his own and took his
hands. He almost believed he was talking to himself now, but he didn't let
it stop him. However small the chance that Starbuck could understand
anything that was going on, Apollo had to let him have that chance. He
didn't want him to be afraid and confused, unable to express it to anyone.
"Love, they're going to take you away from me. Away from the Galactica.
They're going to send you to the Senior Ship - to the Rehab Section. So I
guess, I guess I've come to say good-bye. I know they'll take good care of
you there. You'll have your own room and people to feed you and move you
and ... everything you need now, I guess. But love, I have to be honest. I
won't come and see you there. I wish it were different, but I can't do it.
Not there. Here, I can keep believing that one day you'll look right at me
- know who I am, even if you never do speakk or walk again. There. If I see
you there, I'll have to admit they're all right - that you're not going to
get through this, not going to bounce back. So, I'm going to say good-bye
here so I can keep believing."

Apollo bent to kiss his lover's unresponsive lips. For a micron, he thought
those lips moved under his, but he shook the fantasy away. "I love you,
Starbuck," he murmured as he squeezed his lover's hands and slid off the
bed, laying Starbuck gently against the pillows with one arm. He squeezed
the hand he still held one more time, letting the arm fall back onto the
bed as he moved away.

But the arm didn't fall. Apollo felt the pull, more with his heart than
with his hand. He turned back towards the bed.

Weakly, Starbuck curled his fingers around Apollo's hand, aware that he was
unable to effectively hold on to his lover. But it was enough. He moved his
lips again and blinked rapidly to focus his eyes. He sighed in relief when
Apollo turned back to him. On that sigh were three words: "Don't leave me."

Cass stood in the doorway, ready to come into the room, to ease the
separation this last time as she had done so many times before. When Apollo
turned back, she hurriedly stepped forward. She didn't hear Starbuck's
first words in almost a yahren. 'He mustn't lose his resolve now,' she
thought as Apollo gathered his lover into his arms and declared, "Never!".
But she stopped short when Starbuck's arms came around Apollo. As Starbuck
lay his head on Apollo's shoulder, Cass could see his blue eyes focused and
aware, and the single tear rolling down his cheek to mingle with Apollo's.

***

Starbuck's eyes were focused on the door long before Cass walked in. He was
aware - he had been for some time - that he faded in and out of full
consciousness. Somehow, he usually knew what was happening around him; he
suspected it was because Apollo repeated things many times in hopes he
would grasp them. He knew when Cass was coming for physical therapy, when
Athena would take over his care, when Apollo was going to take him to visit
Jenny and Boomer's brood. He was less aware of what time it was, except for
bedtime and mealtimes - although what meal was represented by the pureed
nutrients Apollo spooned into his mouth was not always clear.

Normally, Starbuck was most fully conscious when Apollo was present. He did
his best to stay focused on Cass, which was easiest when she was directing
him in physical therapy. With his other caretakers, with friends, or alone,
it was a struggle to stay in the here-and-now and he frequently didn't
bother.

Right now he had a reason to stay alert. He needed to communicate with Cass
as soon as she appeared. He had awakened not to Apollo's gentle voice
repeating his name and innocuous information about the time of day and the
day's schedule, but to the sound of moans. With some difficulty, which
perturbed him but which he set aside, he determined that Apollo was
semi-conscious and had a high, dry fever. He stared at the chrono for a
long while before he could ascertain the time. He set that problem aside,
too. He was sure he had awakened earlier than normal and that it would be
some time before Cass arrived - he didn't know how he knew, but he did.

With a different kind of difficulty than he had experienced trying to
understand his surroundings, Starbuck slid out of bed and pulled himself
along the floor to where his hover chair was docked, recharging. Having
full use of only his right leg and left arm made movement difficult, but he
detached the chair from the charging station, then levered himself into it.
Fortunately, the controls were on the left and, after a frustrating centon
of staring blankly at them, some dim memory clicked into place and he
maneuvered into the main room and positioned himself where he could see the
door.

Starbuck occupied himself with staying aware of his surroundings and trying
to figure out why he had to work so hard to think through processes that
had been habit since he was a small child. He understood his physical
limitations and what caused them, but he didn't like the only conclusion he
came up with for why he couldn't think - Reese had damaged more than his
body. This threatened to drive him back into himself and he struggled to
remain conscious. He kept one thought in his mind: Apollo was depending on
his bringing help.

Starbuck sighed with relief when the door chimed. He had already thought
out how to get to the door and key it open, so there was no delay.

Cass's surprise at seeing Starbuck answer the door turned to delight when
she realized what that meant about his state of awareness and ability to
process thought. Those thoughts were fleeting, however, as Starbuck burst
out, "Apollo's sick. Fevered."

Cass hurried into the bedroom, quickly examined the semi-conscious
Commander, and rushed right back out to hit the comm unit on the wall.
"Medical Team to Commander Apollo's suite - stat. We've got another viral
patient about to enter communicable stage." Then, spotting Starbuck
maneuvering toward the bedroom, she whirled and commanded, "Starbuck, no!
You mustn't go in there!" At his terrified look, she schooled her features
and voice into calmness and knelt next to his chair to be at his eye level,
as one would with a child. "Apollo is going to be fine. He has a virus
that's been going around the fleet and we don't want you to catch it, so
we're going to take him to Life Center."

She started to repeat the information using slightly different, simpler
words, but Starbuck interrupted her, speaking as gently as she had. "It's
okay, Cass. I understand what you said. I'll just use the turboflush if
that's okay."

Cass nodded and Starbuck made his way to the turboflush. She was astonished
at the change in the blond warrior. Still, she reasoned, he shouldn't be
left alone. She ran through the list of people she could call. Hera was on
furlong with her family and Sheba was on patrol, but Athena and Jenny would
be up getting their children off to instructional periods. Athena probably
couldn't leave her family alone, but Jenny had Boomer, as well as her
eldest son, old enough that he was starting his apprenticeships. She
returned to the comm unit and contacted Jenny, quickly explaining the
situation.

"I'll send Boomerang and Jammie to keep him company right now," Jenny
suggested, using her eldest and youngest children's nicknames. "Then, when
you get back, Boomerang can head off to his apprenticeship - this quartile
he's in the nursery, believe it or not, so he just takes Jammie with him.
Could you bring Starbuck here when you're done with his therapy?"

"Sounds good," Cass agreed. The medical team arrived with an isolation unit
just then, so she quickly signed off. While the medical team prepared
Apollo for the move, Cass went into the kitchen and mixed Starbuck's
medication powders into liquid nutrient solution and poured the result into
two of his bottles. She wasn't sure he was still using them, but didn't
have time to hunt around the kitchen to figure out what eating level he was
at. It would have to do for now. Boomerang, a strapping teenager, arrived
with Jammie in tow just as the medical team was leaving. He looked relieved
that he wouldn't have to prepare Starbuck's food, but assured his "Aunt
Cassie" that "it's a mushie-bit". Cass hoped that meant he was up to the
challenge.

***

"Hey, man, how ya doing?" Boomerang greeted Starbuck as he exited the
turboflush.

"Unca Sta'buck!" Jammie's greeting was much more exuberant as she dropped
her bottle and cuddle-toy to launch herself at the warrior. She landed in
his lap and made herself secure with one small arm clinging to his
nightshirt and the other wound around the arm of the hover chair. "I visit
you dis time," she declared.

"So I see," Starbuck responded to her bemusedly. Slowly he put one arm
around her to steady her and she snuggled against his chest. It felt
vaguely familiar to have her there. Starbuck looked up at the grinning
Boomerang, so much like his father in looks and build, and answered his
greeting. "I think I'm okay. Tired right now and a little ... sore."

"Oh, man!" Boomerang hit his forehead with the heel of his hand. "'Course
you're sore. Aunt Cassie told me to give you your food first thing - she
mixed your pain meds with your nutrients." He held out one of the bottles
and gestured at the other. "I guess you're supposed to drink both of 'em."

Starbuck stared at the proffered bottle. Apollo didn't bottle-feed him,
hadn't since ... well, since before he became so confused about everything.
And he was sure Apollo fed him; he would remember feeding himself, and he
didn't.

"Hey, Jammie, get off Uncle Starbuck. How's he supposed to eat with you in
the way?" Boomerang chased the pouting toddler off Starbuck's lap, swatting
at her with his free hand. "You want to sit on the couch?" he asked
Starbuck and, without waiting for a response, began moving the hover chair.
He put the bottle down carefully and turned back to the older man. "Oh,
you're not strapped in. Cool." He easily lifted him out of the chair and
arranged him on the couch, propping him upright with pillows.

"You've done this before," Starbuck remarked, making it a statement.

"Not really. Just watched Uncle Apollo at our place. You don't remember?"
Starbuck shook his head. "Well, you never really seem to notice anyone but
Jammie and sometimes Silva with his games. Anyway," he shrugged, indicating
it wasn't important to him, "Do you need me to feed you?" Boomerang
crouched next to Starbuck, ready to suit action to words.

"I'm not sure," Starbuck admitted. "Does Apollo?"

"I never seen him give you a bottle. He mostly gives you mush with a spoon
or holds a cup for you to drink from."

That sounded right. Bottle-feeding had other implications for Starbuck and
his lover. Starbuck suspected Apollo would not do it in front of others
unless it was absolutely necessary. He stirred uncomfortably. "Umm, let me
try it myself. I think I can manage." He took the bottle and leaned back
against the pillows, found a way to hold it with his more reliable arm
while steadying it against the couch cushions, and took a tentative suck.
Boomerang nodded and rose.

"Me gots bottie, too," Jammie announced, holding it up. "We gonna watch the
vid?" she asked.

"Might as well," her brother answered. "That's what you two usually do." He
positioned the viewer and turned it on to the IFB kids channel.

Jammie crawled onto the couch and curled up against Starbuck, leaning her
small bottle against his chest. Slowly he curled his recalcitrant right arm
around her. She sighed contentedly and began sucking on the nipple to her
bottle, her eyes tracking the action on the small vid screen.. Starbuck
brushed the top of her head with his lips, then turned his head and
followed suit.

***

Cass returned to find Boomerang on the comm unit and Starbuck and Jammie
curled together sound asleep. The teen ended his conversation immediately,
greeted Cass, and went to rouse his sister. Cass stopped him with a hand on
his arm. "Don't bother with Jammie. You'll only have to deal with a cranky
little girl if you wake her and you'll probably wake Starbuck, too. Then
I'll have to deal with his confusion. Why don't you just leave Jammie with
me?"

"You sure, Aunt Cassie?" At her nod, he grinned in thanks and took off,
waving his farewell.

Cass noticed that Starbuck was grimacing slightly, as though in pain, and
then saw the untouched bottle on the counter. She walked closer to the
sleepers and saw that each held a partially full bottle loosely. She eased
both bottles away from their owners and quickly sniffed the child's. She
breathed a sigh of relief when all she smelled was flavored lacta - for a
micron she had feared Jammie had ingested some of Starbuck's potent
medication. She looked critically at the larger bottle, about two-thirds
gone. "No wonder you're uncomfortable," she murmured to the sleeping man.
"You've had less than half a dose of pain killer. Well, I'd better call
Jenny and give her an update."

The two women agreed to let the sleepers wake on their own. As long as
Jammie was cooperative, Cass and Starbuck would have a therapy session when
he awoke and then Cass would bring them both to Jenny for lunch. Cass sat
down to wait and soon dozed off herself.

***

Jammie was the first to wake. She looked around and saw Cass and Starbuck,
both still sleeping. Starbuck was closer, and he was a better playmate
anyway, so she decided to wake him first. She patted Starbuck on the cheek.
"Wakey, wakey, Unca Sta'buck. Naptime over."

Starbuck blinked awake to find himself staring into round chocolate brown
eyes, less than a nose-length away from his. "Hey, punkin," he greeted her.
"We must have fallen asleep, huh?" He tapped her nose with one finger.

Jammie giggled and agreed. "Yup. Mussa fall asleep. Aunt Cassie, too." She
leaned back to point and nearly fell off the couch as Starbuck's weak arm
gave way.

Starbuck reached around to catch her and consciously brought the arm back
up. "Sorry 'bout that, Jammie. That old arm just doesn't work too well -
either that or you got much heavier while we were napping."

Jammie giggled again. Unca Sta'buck was acting like he always used to, not
like he had been lately, just lying there, staring at her or Unca 'Pollo.
"Peoples don't grow like that, Unca Sta'buck!" she replied. Then she turned
serious, sad eyes on him "Momma says you gots hurt. I heard her tell som'un
a bad man did it. You 'member?"

"Yes," Starbuck replied. "I remember." He paused for a micron, looking at
her concerned expression. "But it's okay," he reassured her. "It doesn't
hurt ... much," he amended as a twinge of pain ran through him when Jammie
leaned back to look at him. "And I won't drop you as long as I think about
it."

Cass had been awakened by the voices, but kept still with her eyes closed,
the better to observe. Starbuck certainly seemed more alert and focused
than he had since Reese's near-fatal attack on him. She was about to "wake
up", when Jammie complained, "Unca Sta'buck, I hungy!"

"Hmm, you are, are you? Well, we'll have to see what we can do about that.
Tell you what. You see my hover chair over there?" Jammie nodded. "Think
you can bring it to me?"

Jammie nodded eagerly and climbed down from the couch to run over to the
chair. Then she paused, puzzled. "What buttons I gots to push?" she asked.

Starbuck closed his eyes and visualized the control layout. He guided
Jammie with verbal description until the chair arrived at his side with a
very proud little girl. "Good girl!" Starbuck congratulated her, giving her
a quick hug and using the momentum to pull himself into a seated position.
Swinging his legs to the floor, he reached cross-wise to the hover chair
arms and twisted himself into the seat. Then he paused to catch his breath.

"I ties you in now?" Jammie asked.

Starbuck looked startled for a moment, then remembered Boomerang's comment
earlier. "Nah," he replied. "I don't think I need to be tied in right now."

"I gets a ride?" the child asked, putting on her most plaintive expression.

Starbuck laughed. "Okay. You get a ride. Climb on." When Jammie moved to
climb onto Starbuck's lap, Starbuck noticed Cass. "Hey, Jammie," he asked
hesitantly. "When I fell asleep, wasn't Boomerang here?"

"Uh huh."

"When did he leave and Aunt Cassie come in?"

"I dunno. I was s'eepin'. You, too, I bet."

"Yeah, I guess so." He peered more closely at Cass's still figure. "Ready
for your ride, punkin?" he asked. At her enthusiastic response, he steered
the chair over to Cass. "Okay, Cass, you can stop pretending you're asleep
now."

Cass opened her eyes and looked abashed. "Sorry, Starbuck. I just wanted
to..."

"See how I was doing?"

"Yes." She turned brusque. "You've made quite an improvement since last
cycle."

"Have I? I, uh, I don't really remember clearly."

"I'm not surprised. I would guess one cycle ran into another for you. Until
now."

Starbuck thought for a micron. "I think that's a good way of putting it. I
know you come in and work on my physical movements. And I know Athena comes
here when Apollo's on the bridge. I remember being at Boomer and Jenny's.
But everything kind of fades in and out and gets mixed up."

"You comes to us lots. We naps togever," Jammie volunteered.

Cass nodded and said thoughtfully. "Until this morning."

"Yeah. I haven't been fading in and out since I woke up - the first time. I
had to work at it at first - so I could tell you about Apollo as soon as
you came in - but it seems to be sticking." Starbuck shrugged. "At least
for now."

Cass was about to speak, when Jammie interrupted. "Unca Sta'buck! I tol'
you I's hungy!"

The two adults laughed. "I bet you are!" Cass said, ruffling the tight,
dark curls. "And I bet Uncle Starbuck is, too. And probably having a little
discomfort?"

"A little," Starbuck conceded. "Do I usually?"

"No, but you didn't get a full dose of meds today."

"The bottles. Boomerang said something about my needing to drink both of
them."

"You didn't even finish one."

"Sorry. I fell asleep. I woke up early and I was moving around a lot."

"I don't doubt it. How long have you been getting into the chair yourself?"

"I don't usually?"

"Not that I know of."

"Oh." Starbuck sighed. "Well, Apollo wasn't in any condition to get me up
today. I had to do it myself. I kept having trouble with normal things. I
had to think about how to open the door for you. Guess I haven't had much
practice lately."

"Well, I hope you can maintain this level. If you can, we can probably get
you out of the chair and back on your feet with a balancer, at least."

"That would be..."

Starbuck's response was interrupted by an angry toddler yanking his hair.
"I *hungy*!"

"And your Momma's expecting the two of you for lunch!" Cass responded. She
looked at Starbuck in his nightclothes. "I wish Boomerang had thought to
get you dressed."

"Here. Take Jammie." Starbuck lifted her shakily into Cass's arms. "Let me
see if I can do it."

***

A centare later, Starbuck was slowly chewing some cooked grain-flakes and
vegetables under Jenny's watchful eye. After consulting with Cass and
Starbuck, Jenny had felt confident that the main reason Apollo pureed
everything was to avoid the risk of Starbuck choking if he faded out while
eating. Starbuck was having little problem staying focused enough to get
food to his mouth, chew, and swallow, and was enjoying the tastes and
textures that had been missing from his diet for quite a while. He
carefully took small bites and chewed thoroughly. The aches in his limbs
were receding, too. Cass and Jenny decided that Apollo must be mixing the
powdered medication into the purees, but Cass quickly went to Life Center
and returned with foul-smelling liquid doses that Starbuck swallowed
quickly and washed down with agua.

Swallowing a last bite, Starbuck pushed the mostly-empty bowl away. "I
can't eat any more, Jenny," he pleaded at her frown.

"Well, all right, but you tell me as soon as you get the least bit hungry,
understand?"

"I will, I promise." Starbuck changed the subject. "Did Cass say anything
about how Apollo's doing?"

"No, I don't think she took the time to check. She wanted to get back with
your painkillers. But if it runs the same as when Boomer had it, he'll be a
secton in Life Center." She hurried on to calm Starbuck when she saw the
frightened look on his face. "But don't worry, he'll be fine. Right now, he
needs intravenous hydration. And when he's better, he still has to stay in
isolation until there's no danger of him spreading the virus."

"'Kay."

Something had changed in Starbuck's manner, and Jenny wasn't sure what had
caused it. "Are you okay, Bucko?" she asked.

"Hmm? Yeah. I'm fine. I, uh, maybe I'd better start back to my quarters. It
takes me a while to do much of anything."

"Back to your quarters? No way, Colonel! You're going to stay right here
until Apollo is released from Life Center."

" I can't fend for myself, huh? But I can't stay here. I'm too much trouble
- even I know that. Maybe," Starbuck steeleed himself before he continued.
"Maybe Cass could find a place for me on the Senior Ship. That's where they
were going to put me if I hadn't come around, isn't it?"

'Oh, Lords!' thought Jenny. 'He thinks without Apollo he'll be warehoused.'
Aloud she said, "I won't hear anything of the sort. We have a guest room
and as soon as Boomer gets off-duty he's going to take you back to your
quarters and help you pack whatever you'll need for a secton's visit."

***

Two sectons later, Cass walked into Apollo's Life Center cubicle. "You're
being released this cycle, Commander," she reported to the man impatiently
clicking through screen after screen of bridge summaries.

"About time," Apollo almost snarled. "I've been fit to be released for at
least a secton."

"If we had released you, you would have plunged right back into work and
had a relapse. No thank you."

"Well, is someone going to bring me some clothes at least?"

"They're on the way."

"And you *did* promise me a detailed report on Starbuck." Apollo rose and
began pacing in the small space. "More than 'he's just fine, Apollo. He's
staying with Boomer and Jenny and he's doing really well.' You make it
sound like he's made more progress without me than he did when I was taking
care of him."

"The 'detailed report' is on its way, too," Cass said cryptically. "And he
has made a great deal of progress. But not *because* you weren't around.
You might say your illness forced him to a new level of alertness. And, you
know, the more alert he is, the more he can handle in therapy."

"I'll want that report before I leave. And I assume he's moving back to our
quarters? Will he be waiting for me there when I'm released?"

"Of course he's moving back. But he won't exactly be waiting for you
there..." Cass trailed off as a knock came on the three-quarter height door
that afforded Apollo some privacy. "I think that will be your clothes. And
the, umm, detailed report on Starbuck."

Apollo threw Cass a suspicious look, but called, "Come."

The door swung open, but no one came through for a micron. Then a
three-wheeled balancer was manipulated through the narrow doorway. The
basket on the frame held a fresh Command uniform. Attached to the side was
a warrior's duffel. "Hi, Apollo," Starbuck said. "I've come to take you
home."

***

Starbuck awoke to the sound of voices in the main room. Apollo had been
working during late cycle ever since he'd returned to full duty status -
making up for lost time. Starbuck rose and carefully made his way to the
door to greet his mate. But when the door slid open, Starbuck stopped and
stood, unnoticed, in the doorway.

"I can't thank you enough for all the help you've been," Apollo was saying
to the person seated next to him on the couch.

"Think nothing of it, Commander," Sheba replied. "My father prepared me for
Command, just like yours did. I'm glad I could help out."

"I couldn't have gotten caught up without you," Apollo replied, leaning
towards her. He meant only to give her a chaste kiss of friendship and
gratitude, but somehow it got away from him. Sheba leaned into the kiss,
old memories surfacing. Suddenly they both pulled back. "I'm so sorry!"
Apollo blurted out. "I didn't mean to..."

Sheba shook her head. "I should be the one to apologize. I guess it's been
a long time for me."

"Me, too," Apollo admitted. "With Starbuck in ... the condition he's in..."

"Even now?"

"Oh, he's so much better!" Apollo exclaimed. "Lords! He's Starbuck again
instead of some blank clone that looks like him. But that's made the real
brain damage very evident. I can't impose my needs on him. He hasn't shown
any inclination to even explore that part of our relationship again.
But..."

"But you still have needs." Sheba reached out and stroked Apollo's cheek.
Apollo pulled her to him in a needy embrace. This time the kiss deepened as
their hands and tongues explored once-familiar places.

Starbuck watched silently until Apollo pressed Sheba back and down onto the
couch, out of his sight. Then he turned and let the door slide closed,
supporting himself against it until the silent sobs stopped racking his
body and he could make his way back to bed.

***

"What about Starbuck?" Sheba's whisper carried clearly into the next room
where the subject of the whisper lay awake and unable to stop
eavesdropping. He couldn't make out the words, but recognized the voice
easily. It was the same voice he'd heard mingling with Apollo's amid sounds
of romance for the last two sectons.

"I love him. I'm sealed to him. Nothing that happens between us will change
that."

"I know. We're just two friends helping each other with a mutual need.
Don't worry. I'll never ask for more. That isn't what I meant. I meant, if
we *do* take this next step, aren't you worried that Starbuck will hear
us?"

Apollo shook his head. "Starbuck knows I've been working late, but I don't
leave until he's asleep. I spend as much time as I can with him, then I put
him to bed and go back to work. His sleep-cycle med dose is so heavy,
nothing wakes him until I do first cycle."

"You're sure."

"I wouldn't bring you here if I weren't. It would kill him if he
thought..."

"That you were cheating on him?"

"Well, I'm not!"

"Apollo," Sheba said patiently, "It may be purely physical release, but
it's still cheating."

*** Pain. Throbbing down one arm and crossing his body to the opposite leg.
Why did he feel this bad? Starbuck woke up fully and rolled to stare at the
chrono until the numbers made sense. It was late in first cycle - almost
lunchtime. No wonder he was hurting; his meds had long since worn off.
Boomer had taken him to the ready room to visit with his old buddies. He
had watched them play Pyramid - with his inability to make sense of numbers
he knew better than to join them - and shared the easy camaraderie until
quite late. That explained why he had slept in.

Apollo no longer shared the bed. He spent sleep cycles with Sheba on the
pullout couch in the main room. Sheba left just before first cycle workers
would be up and about the ship and Apollo then tidied up and prepared for
the cycle before "waking" Starbuck. The charade worked for all of them,
Starbuck supposed, trying to ignore the ache that wasn't caused by scar
tissue or nerve damage. But where was Apollo now?

Starbuck forced his body up and into the main room to get his medication.
His brain worked slowly enough as it was without pain further clouding it.
He stumbled as he rounded the couch and knocked against it.

"Oh, Lords! Starbuck! I - we - oh, Lords!" Sheba clutched the coverlet to
her as she sat up abruptly.

"It's okay, Sheba, I know all about it," Starbuck said quietly without
looking in her direction. "I just need to take my meds and I'll go back
into the bedroom." Starbuck swallowed the foul-tasting liquids quickly and
rinsed the taste away with fruit nectar.

"You ... know?" Sheba was cautious. She shook Apollo to wake him, but he
merely mumbled incoherently and rolled over.

Starbuck chuckled. "You won't wake him - or you'll regret it if you do." He
nodded toward the empty ambrosia bottles on the nearby table. "You ought to
know by now he can't drink worth a frak. And, yes, I know you and Apollo
are together." He limped back towards the bedroom, carefully avoiding the
couch this time.

"Apollo told you? And it's all right with you?" Sheba's disbelief came
through clearly.

"No, Apollo didn't tell me. I'm just a lighter sleeper than he thinks- even
if I am dosed up." Starbuck paused at the entry to the bedroom, but didn't
turn around. "And it doesn't really matter if it's all right with me, does
it?"

***

The notice came to the Commander's bridge printer - marked "Confidential:
Commander Apollo - eyes only". He quickly authorized continuation of
printing, reading as the document spooled out. Translated from the
legalese, it told him that his seal-mate had filed to sever their sealing
and, since no fault was specified, only his thumbprint was required to make
it final. Apollo ripped the printout off and ran to the launch bay.
Catching Sheba as she was about to climb into her viper for patrol, he
waved it in her face. "What do you know about this?" he demanded.

"Oh!" she gasped after she had grabbed his hand to still it and read the
printout. "That's what he meant." She reached into her jacket, pulled out
an envelope, and handed it to Apollo. On the outside of the envelope, in
Starbuck's neat handwriting, was a short message to Sheba: "Please hold
this for Apollo until the right time comes. You'll know when that is."

Apollo ripped the envelope open and scanned the handwritten sheet inside
it. "You told him," he accused Sheba.

"No," she defended herself, both of them oblivious to the warriors
gathering around them. "He already knew. He's been going along with our
so-called 'discretion' right from the start. He left this in my locker
sectons ago."

Apollo nodded his acceptance of her words, his anger spent. Wordlessly he
handed her the letter. It was amazingly upbeat.

"My love,

"Thank you for all the time, effort, and most of all love that you've spent
on me. Things just never seem to work out for me, though, do they? I guess
I should have sent you back to Sheba all those yahrens ago. But then I
would never have known the joy I've shared with you.

"But our time is over now, however much you tried to protect me from that
knowledge. Now, don't go wrecking what you have with Sheba over this. It's
not any of our faults. Think of it as fate. I know you promised you'd never
leave me. I know you still love me - but there isn't enough "me" for you
anymore. All I can give you now is your freedom.

"And don't worry, I'm not going off to lick my wounds or do something
self-destructive. I've arranged a place for myself on the Senior Ship.
Seems their librarian died a couple of quartiles ago and they've had no
luck replacing her. So the library has been reduced to piles of
disorganized books, vids, and audio discs. That suits my fancy right now -
it should keep what's left of my mind busy and my body active.

"I'm really doing this for very selfish reasons. I need to know how much I
can do for myself and whether I can still be useful. And then, well,
Apollo, I still love you - more than I've ever loved anyone in my life.
More than I ever will. I guess that's why I tried to keep up my end of the
charade. I can't do that anymore. And you and Sheba shouldn't have to do it
at all.

"You promised you would never leave me, and I know you would keep that
promise whatever the cost. So I must leave you.

"You know where I am; I'm not hiding from you. But it will be easier for
all of us if you don't visit.

"I will always love you with all that I am, Starbuck

"PS - Approve the frakking severance and get on with your life. - S."

***

There was no trace of Starbuck when Apollo returned to their quarters. A
quick check of the computer showed all Starbuck's records, including his
medical records, transferred to the Senior Ship and Starbuck himself listed
as Senior Ship Librarian. Apollo did all that Starbuck asked except for one
thing, he didn't put his thumbprint on the agreement to sever their
sealing.

Fleet gossip moved swiftly and, while no one spoke openly against the
Commander or the Squadron Leader, no one spoke in their behalf either.
Boomer was as friendly as ever to Apollo, but invitations to their home
were limited to large gatherings where omitting the Fleet Commander would
be remarked upon. Boomer was apologetic, but Apollo understood. Athena
seemed to have become too busy with the Fleet Academy to spend time with
her brother. And Cass was never available when Apollo was in Life Center.

Sheba volunteered for long patrols, often scouting ahead for sectons at a
time. Somehow, Sheba's and Apollo's schedules resulted in only one of them
being on the Galactica at any given time. Apollo convinced Troy to
"cross-train" with him, so Troy held the bridge while Apollo sought refuge
in long solo patrols. So it was Troy who was on the bridge when Sheba
didn't return from a scouting mission. When he broke the news to his
father, Apollo bowed his head for a micron and sighed, then looked up
dry-eyed. "It was what she wanted," he told his son. "To go out the way her
father did - flying off into unknown space never to be heard from again."
He smiled sadly. "I'm glad she got her wish."

Troy was also on the bridge, and Apollo away finishing Sheba's scouting
mission, when the Cylons launched an attack from an airless asteroid. Fleet
damage was unusually heavy, as were casualties. Dillon reported back to
Troy that the civilian casualties were devastating. "We can repair the
ships, Commander," he stated formally, "But the populations just aren't
used to the enemy breaking through. On the Senior Ship, if it hadn't been
for Starbuck..."

"What about Starbuck?" Troy asked, his full attention on his seal-mate.

"He organized the evacuation of the Senior Ship's living areas just in
time. They had no safety plan in place. If it hadn't been for Starbuck,
half the population would have been buried under falling debris, instead of
just him."

"What?! Is he...?"

"Still alive. In their Life Center. He's pretty much crippled, but he'll
survive."

"Thank the Lords!" whispered Troy fervently. "Did you see him?"

Dillon shook his head. "I tried. But he's refusing all visitors. The
doctors said he was stable though."

Troy nodded his thanks, then grabbed his mate's arm as Dillon turned to
leave. "Dillon? How are we going to tell Father?"

But when Apollo returned, the younger men were rebuffed in their attempts
to speak with him. When they asked to brief him on the attack and its
aftermath, he brusquely asked whether they needed his assistance with any
of the clean up activities. Told that they didn't, he took the proffered
reports and tossed them on his desk, dismissing both men with the vague
promise that he would "read about it when I get a chance."

***

So it was a surprise to Apollo when Cass appeared on the bridge one duty
cycle while he had the conn. "Commander," she recited with no preamble, "It
is my duty to inform you, as Starbuck's next-of-kin of record, that his
condition has deteriorated following an accident while on duty and that he
has requested ameliorative treatment only. He also requested transfer to
Galactica Life Center. Following an investigation of his physical and
psychological state, Dr. Salik has granted both requests. A medical shuttle
transporting him will be arriving within the centare from the Senior Ship."
She saluted smartly and turned to walk off the bridge.

"Accident? What kind of accident?" Apollo followed her, grabbing her arm.
"Cass, please. Tell me what happened? I believed him when he said he wasn't
going to be self-destructive."

Cass pulled her arm free. "Perhaps the Commander should read all the fleet
damage reports instead of just the ones pertaining to military vessels.
Then he would know that the Senior Ship was badly damaged during the last
Cylon attack. A section of the living quarters collapsed. Apparently,
Starbuck was among those overseeing the evacuation when a structural
support started to give way. He gave his balancer to an elderly woman so
that she could move more quickly. As a result, he couldn't get out of the
way of the falling support. I wouldn't label that 'self-destructive'.
Heroic, perhaps, but not self-destructive."

"He was badly injured?"

"His back was broken in three places. His right leg was shattered from the
thigh to below the knee. His internal organs were crushed. Yes, I think you
could say he was badly injured."

"What does it mean, Cass? What's 'ameliorative treatment' and why is he
being transferred here?" Apollo was in shock and couldn't make sense of
what he was hearing.

Cass had no pity for him. "His injuries mean he can't walk, can't even sit
upright on his own, can't digest food. And the prognosis isn't good for
improvement. It pretty much means he won't be able to care for himself for
the rest of his life. Ameliorative treatment means that the medical staff
is to make him comfortable only - not to resuscitate him if he stops
breathing, which he could with the soft tissue and organ damage he's
suffered; not to force-feed him if he stops eating - which he has. As to
why he's being transferred, my guess is he wants to be near the closest
people to family he's ever had." She glared at the stunned Commander. "He's
committing slow suicide by starvation because he doesn't want to be a
burden. The only thing he's asked for is to die at home, the only home he's
ever known. Dr. Salik insisted you had to be told. I was against telling
you. Now, if you'll excuse me, Commander, I have to prepare a private room
for the new patient."

***

Two sectons later an angry Dr. Salik stormed into the Commander's office.
"I had Cassie let you know Starbuck was coming back because I thought, if
there was a shred of decency in you, you'd want to be with him now.
Apparently she was right and I was wrong: we shouldn't have bothered to
notify you. I found out because he asked me how you were - for the first
time since he arrived. I queried the staff and found that you haven't even
inquired after him, let alone gone to see him. Well, he'll probably lose
consciousness in the next cycle or two. I decided to give you one more
try." He took a deep breath. "Apollo, I've known you for a very long time
and I don't understand. What could Starbuck possibly have done to make you
act this way?"

"It isn't what he did; it's what I've done to him over the yahrens. I've
taken out my anger on him, I've used him - abused him really, and I've put
him at risk for 'the good of the fleet'. I took his love, his devotion, all
his sacrifices, and then I cheated on him and let him walk away. How can I
face him now?"

"Starbuck's dying. He's dying because he believes - truly believes - that
he'll be nothing but a drain on resources if he remains alive. He's dying
because he believes he doesn't matter to anyone, that there's no one who
cares enough to make life worth living for him. How can you face him, you
ask? How can you leave him?"

"How can you leave him?" The words echoed in Apollo's mind, mingling with
others from the past. The plea and the promise: "Don't leave me." "Never!"
The belief: "You promised you would never leave me..."

***

"Starbuck?" The sound barely carried from the doorway to the bed, but it
was enough for the startlingly blue eyes to open in the emaciated face. A
skeletal arm reached out and Apollo rushed to take it, slipping to his
knees next to the bed.

"I wasn't going to send for you, 'Pollo. You know, I thought just being on
the Galactica would be enough. But then I weakened. I guess Salik took the
hint, huh? I'm sorry, love, but I needed to see you..." he wrapped his arms
around Apollo, "To touch you one last time."

"Starbuck, Lords, why *didn't* you send for me?" To himself, Apollo asked,
'Why didn't I come to you? Why did I wait?'

Starbuck just shook his head weakly. He let his arms drop. "So tired," he
said. "Salik says it won't be long now. This was easy, though. No pain,
just get more and more tired. But then I started missing you." He sighed.
"Not that I ever stopped - don't think that. But I wanted you to know ..."
He paused. "How's Sheba?" he asked.

"Uh, she, she didn't come back from a scouting mission a quartile ago."

"Oh, Apollo, I didn't know! I'm so sorry!" Starbuck was genuinely chagrined
at having brought up a painful subject.

Apollo waved his concern aside. "We weren't a couple, Starbuck. We never
were, even when we were - when I was cheating on you with her. It was sex
and friendship and the two got mixed up. When you left, I realized that - I
think Sheba always knew - and we just stopped."

Starbuck nodded. For a moment he looked regretful, but then he turned a
smiling face towards his soul mate. "So who's in your life now?" he asked
cheerfully. "We don't get much gossip on the Senior Ship - at least not
that kind of gossip."

"There's no one, Starbuck. I hardly have any friends anymore ... frak! This
sounds so self-pitying! You're lying here dying and I'm telling you about
my sorry social life."

Starbuck laughed. "Apollo, you *always* had a sorry social life. My dying
has nothing to do with it."

"Yes, but I always had you. And now I won't."

A tap on the door interrupted them. An unfamiliar med-tech opened the door
and held up a bottle. She cocked an eyebrow at Starbuck, who shook his head
'no'. "I have to ask, you know," she said.

"I know," Starbuck replied smiling. "But the answer's still the same. I
don't want to be fed."

The med-tech smiled sadly at him. "You know, I'm very good at
bottle-feeding. I raised five children and three grandchildren. Not one of
'em starved." Starbuck just shook his head again.

Apollo looked from one to the other and took a chance. "How about if I feed
you, love?"

The silence stretched for centons before Starbuck murmured, "You know, I'd
almost like that. Just one last time."

"Then let me."

"Like we used to?" Starbuck couldn't hide the longing in his voice.

"As close as we can get to it."

"That would be nice. Okay."

Apollo rose and took the bottle from the med-tech, pushing her out of the
room and locking the door from the inside. He sat on the bed and settled
Starbuck in his lap. Then he uncapped the bottle and put it at Starbuck's
mouth. "Come on, Bucko. Suck for me."

Starbuck reached for Apollo's free hand and put it on his groin. "All of
it, 'Pollo. Like we used to." Apollo hesitated, then nodded, fondling his
lover's limp organ gently. Only then did Starbuck take the nipple in his
mouth and begin sucking.

It wasn't long before both men began responding to the stimulus. Starbuck
hummed his pleasure around the nipple and Apollo pushed down the covers and
pulled up the utility johnny to get better access to the awakening organ.

Apollo's own member was responding sympathetically. Feeling the hardness
against his buttocks, Starbuck let the nipple slide out of his mouth. "Let
me suck you?" he asked. Apollo's erection pulsed at the words, but Apollo
was hesitant. "Please," Starbuck begged. "Slide me down so I can reach."

"You're sure?" Apollo asked and Starbuck managed to buck and thrust weakly
in response. Apollo surrendered to their shared need. "Okay. But only if
you promise to finish the bottle afterwards."

Starbuck hesitated only a micron. He swallowed hard, feeling his resolve
crumble. But he was in his lover's arms, the only place he ever wanted to
be. "All right. I will. I'll finish the bottle as soon as we're done."

Apollo rearranged them and Starbuck sucked the fully erect cock into his
mouth, bathing it with his tongue and nipping lightly at it as he
established a rhythm. Apollo matched the rhythm with his hands on
Starbuck's own cock and balls. Starbuck was weak but talented, and Apollo
felt the telltale tightening all too soon. With a gasp of warning he began
pumping long jets into Starbuck's mouth. Starbuck came as he started
swallowing his lover's orgasm. His own was no more than a few drops of
liquid, but it drained him.

Apollo quickly cleaned both of them up and wrapped his trembling lover in
the covers again. Then he put the nipple to Starbuck's lips. Half
unconscious, Starbuck tried to reject it, but Apollo reminded him, "You
promised, Starbuck."

With a sigh, Starbuck opened his mouth and took the nipple. Apollo didn't
let him fall asleep until every drop was gone. Then he rocked him gently
until he was deeply asleep. Only then did Apollo lay Starbuck back on the
bed, tucking him in lovingly.

Apollo unlocked and opened the door to find Dr. Salik waiting at a discreet
distance. He handed over the empty bottle. "Is it too late? If I can get
him to take nutrients again, is it too late?"

"No. It's not too late," Salik replied slowly. "But I want to be sure you
know the commitment you're making. If he starts to recover, he'll be doing
it for you and you alone. Did Cass tell you how physically helpless he's
likely to be, even if he pulls through this?" Apollo nodded. "You're making
a life commitment, Commander. Because if you let him down, it will kill
him. And, quite frankly, if that's going to happen, I'd rather let him go
under his own control."

"I made a life commitment when we were sealed, Doctor," Apollo said
quietly. "And I never severed the seal. I *did* let him down - I thought
I'd lost him forever. If this is another chance for me - for us, I'll take
it. I won't let him down again."

"All right. I'll need you here every two centars until he's willing to be
fed by someone else or can feed himself."

"I'll be here full-time until we can both go home to our quarters. I'll be
back as soon as I relieve myself of duty."

***

Apollo lay alongside his lover, holding the bottle and watching him suck on
the nipple. They were both naked. Starbuck was still too thin, but no
longer skeletal. Although physical therapy had proven futile for his back
and legs, Starbuck's arms were strong enough that he was able to use them
for some mobility and he could digest soft, bland foods now. But the bottle
was a bed-time ritual that neither man wanted to give up.

As Apollo felt his cock harden and extend, he reached to slide Starbuck
down his length. "Wait," Starbuck murmured around the nipple.

"What is it, love?" Apollo asked, concerned.

"Would you come inside me?"

"Dear Lords of Kobol! You have to ask? I didn't want to pressure you, love,
but nothing would please me more. Let me get the cleanser and lube. Can you
hold the bottle?" Starbuck nodded, taking the bottle in both hands and
sucking lustily. His cock kept time with his rhythm. Seeing that, Apollo
wondered whether Starbuck was ready to fully play their game again, and
decided to try to find out.

When he returned with the needed items, Apollo rolled Starbuck onto his
side. "Keep sucking, love," he cautioned in a tone of voice close to the
one he used as Starbuck's master. When Starbuck moaned at the invasion of
the cleanser's nozzle, Apollo lightly slapped his nether cheeks. Starbuck
immediately returned to the nipple and Apollo smiled and rewarded him by
stroking his penis while the cleanser did its work. He wondered briefly how
much further he could safely take this, but set that aside for another
time.

Apollo took great care in preparing Starbuck. It had been a long time since
he'd been entered this way, and he couldn't react physically to any
discomfort. So Apollo gently pulled the bottle away from Starbuck's mouth
and instructed him, "You have to tell me if I'm going too fast or if I'm
too rough this time. It's been a while and you've been through a lot. I
know you can't move away, but I promise I'll stop if anything bothers you."

"Okay, Apollo, but all that's bothering me right now is how horny I am,"
Starbuck responded, wiggling his rump as best he could.

Apollo laughed and inserted the first finger. The small movements Starbuck
had managed turned to shivers. Apollo waited until Starbuck's breathing
evened and began moving the finger around. Scar tissue had tightened the
opening, but it gradually gave way. Starbuck hummed happily as a second
finger joined the first. His hand snuck down to caress himself, stroking
his cock as Apollo stroked his prostate. The third finger was less
enthusiastically received and Starbuck whimpered as it filled him.

"Shall I stop, love?"

"N-no."

"It's okay. I can stop now. Hurting you is *not* what I want."

"No. No. Just give me a micron to get used to it." Apollo stilled until
Starbuck said, "Okay. That's good. You can start moving now."

Apollo moved so slowly and gently that Starbuck became frustrated. Without
thinking, he began thrusting up and down on Apollo's fingers, stroking
himself roughly at the same time. Apollo was transfixed at the sight.
Within centons, both men came, spurting over themselves and the bedding.

"Well," Apollo said when he had done panting, "That wasn't exactly what I
expected, but it was quite something."

"You aren't angry?" Starbuck asked.

Apollo shook his head. "Not at all! Why would you think that?"

"I don't know. Just that you didn't say I could do that. You liked it?"

"It was amazing! I came just from watching you."

"Well, if you're not angry, could you pull your fingers out?"

"Oh, frak, Starbuck! Why didn't you say something?" Apollo removed his
fingers from his lover's ass and brought warm, wet towels to clean him up.
Starbuck's eyes began to close under the tender ministrations. "Uh, uh,
Starbuck. Don't fall asleep yet. You still have your bottle to finish."

"'Kay," Starbuck murmured sleepily.

"Come on," Apollo coaxed, pulling him into a sitting position. He stopped
short at Starbuck's exclamation. "What's wrong?" he asked as Starbuck's
eyes flew open.

"I could *feel* that, when you sat me up - I felt something - I don't know
- *move*, at my waist. I think I can ... leet me try. Apollo! Look! I can
sit up!"

"Lords, you can! Oh, Starbuck, this is wonderful! You must have snapped
something into place when you were thrusting."

"Great!" Starbuck exclaimed, grimacing. "Now when Salik asks 'how did this
happen?' I have to answer 'when I was fucking myself on the Commander's
fist!' Oh, boy ... I can just picture it now."

Apollo doubled over, laughing. "Maybe we can bury the details in an
official report, okay?" he gasped.

***

Apollo turned away from his desk and looked speculatively at his lover,
seated on the couch. "Starbuck, would you perform for me?"

"Perform ... like I used to do?"

"Mm hmm. Do you mind?"

"No. It's just, well, I don't know how much I can do without my legs."

"I'll move you around. And I'll get myself into position. You just tell me
when and where."

"Okay." Starbuck started by opening his own trousers and teasing his cock
into hardness. As it lengthened, he leaned over - a new capability - and
licked the tip while his fingers teased his balls. When he was fully erect,
he pulled his pants down and asked Apollo to pull them the rest of the way
off. He played with himself while Apollo did that, then he pulled his shirt
off. Nude, he stroked his chest, pinching his nipples to harden them.

"Sit up here, next to me," he directed Apollo. When Apollo complied,
Starbuck used his arms to flip himself over so that he was kneeling next to
Apollo, supported by his arms, then slid off the couch onto the floor.
Without being told, Apollo wrapped his legs around Starbuck, supporting
him.

Starbuck opened Apollo's trousers and used his mouth to coax his lover's
penis out of hiding. Apollo held Starbuck by the waist so he could freely
use mouth and hands. When Apollo was squirming with pleasure, Starbuck
reached back and prepared his anus to receive Apollo's cock. Apollo,
holding Starbuck upright, had a view that almost made him cum on the spot.

"Can you lift me onto you?"

'All too easily,' Apollo thought, as he raised his underweight lover then
carefully lowered him onto his waiting rod.

Starbuck reached behind and under himself to ensure no damage was done to
the precious part. Once securely impaled, Starbuck leaned forward bracing
his hands against the couch's back and using his arms to lever himself up
and down. It proved an effective enough technique that both men were soon
moaning.

"Wait," Apollo gasped, holding Starbuck tighter so he couldn't continue
moving. Starbuck raised one eyebrow in unspoken question while trying to
remain still with Apollo's cock entirely inside him. "I can't do anything
for you if I'm holding you like this."

Starbuck shrugged and the minor movement caused both of them to tremble.
Choosing his words carefully, Starbuck said, "I'm performing for *your*
pleasure. If you want to reward me afterwards, well," he smiled slyly, "I
probably won't object."

Apollo smiled back and loosened his grip on Starbuck. "Then by all means
continue the performance."

Starbuck tightened his rectal muscles in response and began moving again,
starting slowly, and then gradually increasing speed and pressure until
Apollo gave himself over completely to the sensations radiating from his
cock.

Even as he came, Apollo kept enough control to prevent Starbuck from
falling. Regaining his equilibrium, he lay Starbuck on the couch and
rewarded his hard work. As Starbuck recovered, Apollo stretched out
alongside him. Soothing his lover with long strokes down his back, Apollo
asked, "How do you feel about doing more of this, love, maybe taking it a
little further, the way we used to?"

Starbuck was quiet for over a centon and Apollo wondered if the minor brain
damage was interfering with his ability to understand what Apollo meant.
But that fear was put to rest when Starbuck finally responded. "I want that
more than ever. As long as you discipline me when I don't please you, as
well as reward me when I do. I'm yours to command, Master."

End