The Problem With Triad Uniforms

	By Betty, Jackie, and Jen (lmr)

	Rated: NC-17
	Category: Slash
	Pairing: Starbuck/Apollo
	Disclaimer: They don't belong to us, we just like playing with
	them. I mean we really, really like playing with them!
	Archive: Yes
	Feedback: er.br@sympatico.ca (Betty), jschmitt@aol.com (Jackie),
	jenny@jnrhome.com (Jen)

	Summary: The title pretty much sums it up.


	Part 1    (Betty)

	Apollo opened the package he had been carrying and carefully lifted
	out his new triad uniform. It didn't look any different than his
	old one, but the people on the textile ship insisted that this new
	material would allow their skin to breathe much better than the
	material in the old one's. Well they were about to find out.

	"Hurry up and change Apollo, we're due on the court in ten
	centons," Starbuck told him.

	Apollo ran his eyes up and down Starbuck's lean body, his manhood
	twitching at the sight of his lover in the skimpy uniform. "Why
	don't you help me change?"

	Shaking his head Starbuck replied, "Oh no, if I do that we will not
	make it to the game, and I am *not* willing to forfeit. Boomer
	would never let us hear the end of it."

	Starbuck then turned and left the change room, leaving Apollo to
	change on his own.

	Apollo made it to the court just on time, and the game began. The
	score was tied at ten points each, but something was wrong. All
	four men on the court were having trouble breathing and they kept
	pulling at the shorts of their uniforms.

	"Starbuck... is... it... just... me... or... is... your...
	uniform... getting... tighter..?" Apollo was finding it hard 
	to talk as well.

	"It's... not just you... the damn thing is... getting tighter,"
	Starbuck replied.

	"Hey, you guys... the more I sweat... the tighter... this
	thing gets," Boomer said to them.

	Apollo looked up at the game official and made a time out sign to
	him. The official had noticed something was wrong and pressed the
	buzzer. He then called the med tech and had him check the players.
	The med knew at once what was wrong. It seems the new fabric
	reacted badly when it came in contact with human sweat, it shrunk.
	The game was then ended at a tie, much to the crowds
	disappointment, and the men were sent to the change rooms where
	their uniforms had to be cut off.

	*****

	Part 2    (Jen)

	"Oh man, I am so sore. Especially in a certain area where a guy
	never wants to be sore," Starbuck moaned as they made their way to
	Apollo's quarters.

	"Me too." Apollo rubbed at his groin. "Not to mention embarrassed."
	He couldn't help but notice the snickers they were getting from
	passersby at the odd way they were both walking.

	"You'd think the textile ship would test their fabrics better. I
	couldn't see something like this happening in the good old days
	before the Destruction."

	"You're probably right about that. For a while there I thought I
	was going to be choked to death by my own triad uniform."

	"Hahahaha. Imagine what the IFB would do with a story like that!"

	"Oh Lords! I hadn't even thought about the IFB," Apollo groaned.
	"As if this whole incident wasn't embarrassing enough."

	"I look at it this way," Starbuck shrugged, "thing's could always
	be worse. Besides, I have the perfect way for us to take care of
	certain injured areas." Starbuck looked suggestively over at his
	wingmate.

	Apollo returned the look. "I like the way you think."

	They got back to Apollo's quarters with surprising speed
	considering the awkward way they were walking. Once there, they
	practically raced to the bedchamber, hurriedly shedding clothes
	along the way.

	Both naked, they got on the bed and positioned themselves so that
	each man's groin was within reach of the other's mouth. They each
	let out a muffled moan of pleasure at the sensation of a hot mouth
	sliding onto their aching members.

	Starbuck sucked his lover's cock with great enthusiasm, while
	Apollo sought to return the favor with gusto.

	They lost themselves in the ecstasy of both giving and receiving
	such overwhelmingly erotic sensations. Soon they were both coming,
	one right after the other. Swallowing as much of the other's
	essence as they could.

	Starbuck pulled himself up to the head of the bed and panted, "I
	don't know about you, but my groin feel *much* better now."

	Apollo chuckled, "I'm always glad to be of service. If you have any
	other areas that need attention, feel free to let me know."

	"Oh, I have an area right about here," Starbuck purred, placing his
	lover's hand between his buttock's.

	"I think I can help," Apollo said in mock seriousness before giving
	the area in question his full attention.

	He tongued his way around his friend's most delicious opening,
	enjoying the way it made his lover wiggle and squirm with delight.
	His own cock twitched hungrily in response.

	"Oh, Apollo... Oh, Apollo... Pol, I need you so bad!"

	Apollo continued teasing the sensitive area for several more long
	moments before having mercy on his needy companion. He reached over
	and got the lube out of the bedside drawer and squeezed some onto
	his hand. He teased his lover further by rubbing it onto his cock
	in a slow, lazy motion.

	Starbuck reached for it and Apollo drew back. "Pol, please!"

	"Good things come to those who wait," Apollo admonished before
	squeezing some more lube onto his fingers. He teased the area
	surrounding his wingmate's lovely puckered hole before plunging one
	finger all the way in.

	Starbuck gasped, "Oh! Yes, Pol. Give it to me!"

	Apollo removed his finger completely then plunged two fingers in
	and wiggled them about.

	"Oh, yeah. That's it. Give me more. I want you in me," Starbuck
	pleaded breathlessly.

	His captain obliged by pulling both fingers out and replacing them
	with his dick.

	"Ohhhhhhh... yeeesssss... yeeesss!" The blonde moaned loudly.

	Apollo began pumping in and out in a punishing rhythm, gasping at
	the sensations that being inside his lover's tight hole caused.
	Thankfully he had already had one orgasm tonight so he new he could
	last awhile.

	Starbuck, on the other hand, was moaning constantly and pushing his
	hips upwards forcefully with each downwards thrust. His feet that
	were resting up on Apollo's shoulder's were wriggling frantically.
	Moments later he was screaming out his second orgasm of the night.

	The sight, sound, and sensations this provoked caused Apollo to let
	go as well and pump his seed deep into his lover's bowels.

	The two soon drifted into a satisfied sleep.

	*****

	A secton later Starbuck and Apollo donned their new triad uniforms
	for the rematch against Boomer and Giles. They had been assured
	that this was not the same type of fabric used when making their
	last uniforms.

	"Thank Sagan. I wouldn't want to go through something like that
	again." Apollo said, adjusting his new uniform.

	"No kidding!" Starbuck heartily agreed.

	The two teams met in the center of the court and got into position.
	The buzzer sounded and they began the game.

	Apollo was congratulating Starbuck on a particularly nice move when
	he noticed that the top of Starbuck's uniform looked askew.
	Starbuck quickly adjusted it and they resumed playing.

	Not much later he noticed his own uniform was feeling like it was
	slipping out of place. He looked over at Boomer and Giles and
	noticed they were tugging at their uniforms too. He started to walk
	over to them to see what the problem was when he felt a draft on
	his buttocks and heard the crowd gasping and murmuring excitedly.

	He looked at the floor and saw his uniform pants pooled down around
	his ankles. This was followed by the soft thud of his uniform top
	hitting the floor.

	Looking around the court in complete horror he realized the same
	thing was happening to all of the players. They were all completely
	naked except for their boots!

	He started to dash back to the change room but tripped over his
	uniform pants and fell to the floor. Starbuck was running right
	behind him, so when Apollo fell, Starbuck fell also and landed
	right on top of his wingmate. This caused a strange type of domino
	effect, because Boomer and Giles fell over them also and they all
	ended up in a big heap. They all struggled wildly to untangle
	themselves from stray pieces of their uniforms that had tangled
	around their feet, not to mention untangle themselves from each
	other.

	Finally they managed to get to their feet and with their faces
	flaming, they ran to the change room as fast as they could to the
	sound of cheering, whistles and catcalls.

	"What happened?!" Starbuck shouted to no one in particular.

	"It's these threads," Boomer said, "they just seemed to unravel!"

	"Oh, Lords! I've never been so embarrassed in my life!" Apollo
	groaned loudly.

	"What do you think the chances are that no one noticed?" Giles put
	in hopefully.

	His question was met with three angry glares.

	*****

	Part 3    (Jackie)

	"Giles, of course they saw us naked out there! They're not blind,
	are they?" Apollo was really mad.

	"What do you think is going to happen next?" Starbuck asked
	worriedly.

	"I don't know," Apollo replied. "Why don't we take our mind's off
	of it?  I know what we can do to have some fun. Why don't we all go
	back to my place and have some *real* fun?"

	"Apollo!" Starbuck looked surprised by what Apollo had just said.
	"I can't believe you'd ask them that."

	Boomer looked at Giles. "Ask us what?"

	"Do you two want to have some fun with Starbuck and me? Let's go
	back to my place and we'll show you what kind of fun Starbuck and I
	have."

	Boomer and Giles looked skeptical. "Okay, but this better be good."

	"Trust us, you'll have loads of fun."

	Everyone went back to Apollo's place. Starbuck took off his clothes
	and got into bed. Apollo then did the same.

	Boomer and Giles looked very surprised. "Hey, what are you guys
	going to do?"

	"I told you, Boomer, we're going to have some fun. Just do what
	Starbuck and I do and you and Giles can join in on the fun too.
	Just watch us for a while then get into it. Okay?"

	Apollo started kissing Starbuck and stuck his tongue inside
	Starbuck's mouth. Apollo then worked his way down to Starbuck's
	nipple and started sucking on it. Starbuck moaned, "Oh, Pol!"

	While Apollo's mouth was savoring Starbuck's nipple, his hand was
	working its way down to Starbuck's shaft. Apollo alternated between
	pumping Starbuck's organ and running his fingers lightly all over
	it. Then Apollo started sucking on Starbuck's shaft.

	Boomer and Giles were staring at what was happening before them.
	They became very excited themselves.

	Apollo put two fingers inside of Starbuck.

	"More Pol, please more."

	"I'm glad you're enjoying this buddy."

	"Please, don't stop Pol. I really want you inside of me now!
	Please! I need you now!"

	"Okay, Starbuck, it's coming. Turn over. I want to get inside you
	from behind."

	Starbuck couldn't turn over fast enough. Apollo entered Starbuck
	quickly.

	"Pol! Please don't stop! Go faster! Faster!" Starbuck was moaning
	really loud. "Pol!"

	Apollo and Starbuck didn't notice that Boomer and Giles were now
	having sex too. Giles was inside of Boomer as well. "Hey, Apollo," 
	Boomer moaned.

	"What Boomer?" Apollo answered.

	"You're right," Boomer replied, "this is a lot of fun!"

	*****

	Part 4    (Betty)

	A secton later the four men where once more getting ready for a
	triad match. Starbuck eyed his new uniform laying on the bench. He
	wasn't sure if he should trust it or not.

	"Apollo I got a funny feeling about this. I mean, first they gave
	us uniforms that shrunk when we sweat, then they gave us uniforms
	that fell apart when we sweat, I'm scared to go out there. What if
	some thing else happens? And just who's bright idea was it to make
	uniforms that had the damn jock straps sewed right into them? I
	liked the old way better. Would have been less embarrassing as
	well."

	"I know how you feel, believe me, but we have to get this game
	finished. Each time we try it ends at a ten/ten tie." Apollo felt
	just as frustrated and wary as Starbuck, but they couldn't back
	out. The game had to go as planned.

	As Starbuck put on his uniform and adjusted the athletic support
	inside the shorts he started complaining again. "This damn cup is
	to small,  I think they gave me one for a ten yahren old."

	"You too? This damn thing squeezing my balls," Apollo complained.

	They squeezed themselves into the tight athletic supports and left
	the change room, only to hear Boomer complain, "There is no way I
	can play like this. I can just barely walk."

	Giles was busy ripping the cup out of his shorts. "Frack it, take
	them out guys, we'll just have to be careful were we hit each
	other."

	Starbuck agreed, "He's right Apollo, we can't get out of playing
	the game but we can't play with these things on. I `m with Giles,
	lets rip them out."

	Boomer and Apollo then pulled down their shorts and ripped out the
	cups, just as the Commander was turning the corner. "What are four
	waiting for your expe............. *Apollo what are you doing?*"

	He was shocked to see his son and Boomer, standing in the corridor,
	shorts around their knees. He settled down however once the problem
	was explained to him.

	*****

	The game was going good. Not as rough as it usually was, the men
	had to take care not to hurt each other in their very delicate
	area, but it was a good game. They jumped and dived over the arena.
	They still punched each other in the ribs and kicked their
	opponent's legs out from under them. They were also sweating. But
	sweating shouldn't matter, they had found and solved the problem
	with these uniforms. Or so they thought.

	Apollo missed the ball as it bounced against the wall just above
	his head. He saw Starbuck dive for it. Starbuck! Something was
	wrong with Starbuck's uniform. "*What the frack?!*" Apollo yelled.

	The crowed was cheering louder and they were whistling and yelling
	crude remarks like, "Let me have a piece of that," and, "Hey, sexy
	boy, over here," and one lady yelled, "I love dark meat!" Apollo
	looked up at them. They were yelling and pointing at... Boomer.

	Boomer's shorts had disintegrated. Disappeared. So had Giles'.
	That's what was wrong with Starbuck's uniform. The material
	disintegrated when it came in contact with sweat. But if the other
	three men's uniforms were disintegrating then that
	meant...

	Apollo looked down at himself just in time to see his shoulder pads
	fall to the floor.

	*****

	Part 6    (Jen)

	"Oh Lords! Not again!" Apollo wailed as he joined the other players
	in running for cover.

	Boomer reached the door to the change room first and frantically
	pushed the button. The other players all collided into him when the
	door didn't immediately open as expected.

	"Boomer! This is no time to play around! Open the door!" Giles
	shouted.

	"I'm trying! It won't open! I think it's stuck!"

	"Stuck?! What do you mean stuck?! It can't be stuck!" Starbuck
	yelled while trying unsuccessfully to hide between Giles and
	Apollo.

	"Well it is! Why don't one of you try?!"

	Apollo pushed him aside and tried the door himself. "It really is
	stuck," he informed the others, raising his voice to be heard over
	the increasing cheering and catcalls of the crowd.

	"Somebody please just shoot me!" Starbuck moaned, covering his face
	with his hands.

	"Does it look like anyone of us has a gun on him?!" Apollo snapped
	while trying to cover his buttocks and groin with his hands.
	"Boomer, can't you hot-wire it or something?!"

	"Does it look like I have anything on me to get the panel open
	with?!" Boomer snapped back, also trying desperately to cover
	himself with his hands.

	Mercifully, the door finally slid open. In an uncharacteristic show
	of aggressiveness, Giles shoved past the other three warriors and
	almost knocked over the maintenance tech who was standing just
	inside the door. Unfortunately, he didn't see the tool kit sitting
	on the floor and went sprawling.

	Boomer and Apollo just barely managed to avoid tripping over him.
	Starbuck, however, had been looking backwards at the door and went
	crashing into him just as he was starting to stand up. They both
	tumbled to the floor to the sound of laughter.

	"You guys are so funny!" the maintenance tech gasped out between
	peels of laughter. "I can hardly wait for your next show!
	Hahahahahahaha! Let me buy you a round of drinks later. I just won
	fifty cubits betting that you'd end up naked again. Hahahahaha!"

	"Funny! I'll show you funny you little toad!" Starbuck lunged for
	him but was grabbed back by Apollo.

	"Come on, Starbuck. Let's just go get dressed. You don't want to be
	put on report for fighting in the corridor. Especially for fighting
	*naked* in the corridor."

	This caused fresh gales of laughter from the maintenance tech.

	"Why you little...," Starbuck fumed and made another lung at him.

	Boomer and Giles rushed forward to help Apollo restrain Starbuck
	then drag him into the change room.

	"Get a grip on yourself, Starbuck!" Apollo shook him. "We're all
	just as embarrassed and just as naked as you."

	"Yeah, Starbuck. Do you think *I* like being naked in the middle of
	a crowded arena?" Giles griped.

	"From the way you shoved past us all, I'd say that was obvious,"
	Boomer said wryly.

	Giles had the grace to flush. "I just couldn't handle it anymore.
	There's only so much a guy can take you know. We still haven't even
	lived down the last two incidents."

	"Sheba told me that there was a picture of us naked on the triad
	court taped to the wall in the women's shower room," Apollo
	commiserated.

	"People have been grabbing my butt when I walk down the corridor,"
	Boomer complained miserably.

	"I can't even walk into a room anymore without people whistling at
	me and making lewd comments," Starbuck moaned.

	"This has to stop," Apollo said determinably. "I have no intention
	of ever spending another naked moment on a triad court if I have
	anything to say about it."

	"I afraid to even go on to a triad court after these last few
	games," Starbuck shuddered.

	Boomer and Giles nodded their heads vigorously in agreement.

	"Oh, no you guys don't. We have a match to play and we're going to
	play it. What will people think if we chicken out?" Apollo stated
	firmly.

	"But, Pol, I just can't handle walking out there anymore. You heard
	the maintenance tech, people are placing bets on us ending up naked
	again. They're all laughing at us." Starbuck tried to keep the
	whine out of his voice but failed.

	"Not all of them," Boomer grunted, rubbing at his butt.

	"Think about how they'll laugh if they find out we're afraid to get
	back out on the court." Apollo stared them all down.

	The three other players grudgingly nodded their agreement.

	"This isn't happening to the other players," Giles commented.

	"No, it isn't. But their still wearing the old uniforms," Boomer
	answered.

	"I could kick myself for throwing my old one away. It probably
	wouldn't have done any good though, it was about to fall apart
	anyway," Starbuck said.

	"Same with ours. I don't suppose anybody would be willing to lend
	us theirs," Giles put in.

	"Are you kidding? And have us actually finish a game. Not a chance.
	They're all loving this," Starbuck said bitterly.

	"What we have to do," Apollo stated, "is make sure the next
	uniforms we get are made exactly the same as our old ones. I'm
	going to check them out personally this time."

	"No offense, buddy, but I'll go with you. I'm not taking any
	chances that it's only me and Giles' uniforms that fall apart next
	time," Boomer intoned.

	"Boomer, I'm not Starbuck."

	"Hey!" the blonde interjected indignantly.

	"Sorry, Starbuck," Apollo grinned sheepishly.

	"Just the same, I'm going with you," the dark man insisted.

	"Fine, fine. Have it your way," Apollo agreed. "Come on, Starbuck.
	Let's get dressed and head back to my quarters."

	Starbuck brightened and gave his captain a lustful look.

	"Might if we tag along?" Boomer asked hopefully.

	"I thought you didn't trust us," Starbuck teased.

	"Well there's trust and then there's trust."

	"You're so full of it."

	"Is that a yes?"

	"It's a yes," Starbuck said eyeing Boomer's naked body
	appreciatively.

	*****

	The following secton the players all suited up in their new
	uniforms for the fourth attempt at finishing their match.

	"Now, Apollo, you're absolutely positive about these new uniforms,"
	Starbuck worried.

	"Positive. Boomer and I checked them out ourselves."

	"I don't know. I'm really nervous about going out there," Giles
	added.

	"Relax. There is no way that these uniforms are going to fall apart
	on us," Boomer assured.

	The four players headed on to the court to the sounds of extremely
	loud cheers and whistles.

	*****

	Part 6    (Jackie)

	From the time the four players got out onto the triad court, the
	audience kept cheering them on very loudly. Then they started
	clapping wildly for the four players.

	Starbuck looked at Apollo. "Apollo what's going on? Nothing is
	happening to our uniform's again is it? It can't be happening yet
	again can it?"

	Apollo and the others were wondering the same thing. Then all of a
	sudden Apollo realized that their uniform's had become transparent.

	"Starbuck! They can see through our uniforms! They can see us naked
	again. That's why they're going crazy."

	"Apollo, this is getting so strange. There has got to be a reason
	why this keeps happening. Someone or something is behind this."

	"I agree Starbuck. We have to find out what is really going on with
	our uniforms and who is behind it all."

	Commander Adama was looking quite angry when he came up to the four
	embarrassed men on the triad court. He was very upset.

	"Apollo!" he yelled. "What is the meaning of this? Why our your
	uniform's like this?"

	"I think we've been set up, Father."

	"Well, if you have been set up you need to find out what has been
	happening with your uniforms. I'm sorry, Apollo, but I'll have to
	put you all on report. This can't continue."

	"Father you wouldn't really put us on report, would you? We've been
	set up! It's not our fault!"

	All of a sudden Greenbean came out onto the court.

	"Commander, wait! It's not their fault! It was my idea. I'll fess
	up to it. I was just playing a harmless joke on them."

	"A harmless joke indeed, Greenbean. What in Sagan's name did you
	think you were doing?"

	"I don't know Commander. I don't know what got into me," Greenbean
	replied weakly.

	"Well, you'll have a long time to figure it out when I confine you
	to your quarters. We'll discuss this more tomorrow. I'll see you in 
	my office first thing in the morning, Greenbean. Now go to the change 
	room and get changed into something more suitable."

	The audience was still cheering at them but the noise finally died
	down some as soon as everyone was off of the court.

	Once in the change room, Greenbean looked sheepishly at Apollo and
	Starbuck.

	Apollo looked at Greenbean questioningly, "May we ask why you did
	all of this with our uniforms?"

	"Yeah," Starbuck said. "What was the deal with you messing with our
	uniforms? You had us going really crazy."

	"I guess was jealous of you guys."

	Apollo and Starbuck glanced at each other.

	"Jealous?" Starbuck replied. "Jealous of us? Why?"

	"Yeah, well, I saw you two and Boomer and Giles going in to
	Apollo's quarters to have sex together and I felt left out. I
	wanted to join in too."

	Starbuck and Apollo couldn't believe what they just heard.

	"You saw all of us that night? We didn't know you were there,
	Greenbean," Apollo said. "Otherwise, we probably would have 
	invited you too. We didn't know you'd be interested."

	"Hey, Greenbean, would you like to go back to Apollo's quarters
	with us now?" Starbuck asked.

	"You really mean it?" Greenbean asked excitedly. "What about Boomer
	and Giles?" He gestured over to where the other men were getting
	changed across the room.

	"Why don't we just have a threesome this time? Just us, ok?"

	They arrived at Apollo's place and all got undressed.

	"Greenbean, you lay on the bed," Starbuck instructed him.

	Starbuck started rubbing and sucking on Greenbean's cock. Greenbean
	let out a soft moan. Apollo began kissing Greenbean and teasing his 
	mouth with his tongue.

	Starbuck gradually worked three fingers inside of Greenbean while
	fondling his balls.

	"Starbuck that feel's so good!"

	"Can I have one of you guy's inside me? I really need one of you
	inside me now."

	"Do you want to do the honor's Apollo?"

	Apollo nodded his head. "Starbuck can you find the lube for me?"

	"Yeah it's right over here. Here it is."

	Apollo could hardly wait. He told Greenbean to turn over so he
	could enter him from behind. Upon entering the man, he started
	pumping in a steady motion.

	While Apollo and Greenbean were going at it, Starbuck was getting
	very excited and started to rub his own cock.

	Greenbean began moaning loudly. "Apollo this is like heaven! Please
	more!"

	Apollo began pumping even faster. "Apollo, you're the greatest!"
	Greenbean cried out as he came. The Captain found his own release
	shortly after.

	The sight of the two men climaxing was enough to cause Starbuck to
	come also.

	"Oh, guys, that was just so wonderful. I hope you guys will invite
	me to join again. And with Boomer and Giles, too."

	Starbuck replied, "That's an excellent idea, Greenbean. We'll have
	another guy's night with all of us together."

	"But one more thing," Starbuck and Apollo both gave Greenbean an
	evil glare.

	Greenbean looked at them both nervously. "What guys?"

	Apollo and Starbuck both yelled at Greenbean. "No more messing with
	our uniforms!"

	The End