Pain In The Astrum By: Betty Rating: NC-17 Pairing: Starbuck/Apollo Catagory: Humour Summary: Apollo is clumsy and causes Starbuck pain, then Starbuck becomes a pain in Apollo's Astrum (that's butt for you Earthers). Warnings: Screaming, M/M sex, if you don't like M/M sex why are you here? Thanks to Karo for the help and the beta. Part 1 Starbuck limped into Apollo's quarters and laughed at the sight of the other man standing on a chair, playing with a long wooden board. "Apollo, what are doing up there?" Starbuck asked, chuckling. "Putting up another shelf, but I think the board is just a touch too wide. It doesn't want to fit into the brackets," Apollo replied. "Why're you walking like that? Did you hurt yourself?" "No, I think I have something in my boot," Starbuck said, removing his right boot and turning it over. "Starbuck, how did you get those tiny stones in your boots?" Apollo asked as what seemed like a cascade of small stones fell from the upturned boot. "I don't know, but don't worry - I'll vacuum them up." "Wait, help me with this shelf first. I can get the one side in but the other seems to be a real tight fit." Starbuck was about to reply with a smart remark when Apollo suddenly dropped the board. It landed right smack on........... "*FRACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FRACK-FRACK-FRACK! OH FRACK, THAT HURTS, THAT HURTS! OH FRACK!!!*" the toes of Starbuck's bootless foot. Apollo quickly jumped down off the chair, trying hard not to laugh at the way his lover was dancing around the room holding his foot up. "Starbuck, are you okay?" "NO, I'M NOT OKAY! YOU BROKE MY TOES, MY TOES, MY TOES! YOU BROKE MY TOES!" Starbuck shouted. "I'm sorry! Look, I didn't mean to drop the board on your foot! Come on, let's get you to the Life Centre." Apollo was a little concerned about the way Starbuck's toes were starting swell up. And even though he thought the way Starbuck had jumped and danced around the room was funny, he did feel bad about dropping the board on his foot. "I can't walk to the Life Centre! My toes are broken!" Starbuck snapped. "Fine, then I'll carry you," Apollo offered gallantly. Starbuck liked that idea, and wrapped his arms around Apollo's neck as his Captain picked him up. "Sure like to eat, don't you?" Apollo smirked. "What's that supposed to mean? Are you insinuating that I'm fat?" Starbuck asked irritably. "No, of course not. I have firsthand knowledge that you're *not* fat. You're just heavy." "You think I'm fat." Starbuck stuck his lip out and pouted. "No, I don't. Now stop fidgeting or I'm going to drop you." Somehow the pair made it out into the corridor and to the turbolift, then down to the level where the Life Centre was located. Poor Apollo was huffing and puffing by this time. Starbuck had fidgeted the whole way, and seemed completely unable to keep still in Apollo's arms. When they entered the waiting room, Apollo started to sit Starbuck down onto an empty chair, but his arms gave out, and he dropped Starbuck, "*FRACK!!!!!! OH FRACK OH FRACK OH FRACK!!!*" whose lower left leg somehow connected with the back of the chair...then bounced off and landed on the small kaffe table. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Oh Lords, this is getting worse!" Apollo bent down to help Starbuck up, who quickly started smacking the other man on the back. "MY LEG! YOU WEREN'T HAPPY BREAKING MY TOES, SO NOW YOU BROKE MY LEG!" "What's going on in here?" Cassie asked as she entered the waiting room. "We can hear Starbuck yelling in the other room, even though this door was closed." "Apollo broke my toes, then my leg!" Starbuck cried out. "What? Apollo, how in the twelve worlds did you do that?" Cassie was shocked. "And then he said I was fat," Starbuck added. "WHAT? Apollo, how could you? Starbuck is far from fat!" Cassie scolded the Captain who just stood there, speechless. "He laughed at me too. Broke my toes, and then he laughed." "Oh, how insensitive, Apollo! You should be ashamed of yourself!" Cassie snapped at Apollo as she helped Starbuck into a wheelchair. "You stay here while I get Starbuck comfortable." Apollo just stared at the door as it closed behind Starbuck and Cassie. He couldn't believe he'd just been called insensitive. "I didn't call him fat and I didn't laugh! Sure, I wanted to laugh - who wouldn't the way he was dancing around - but I didn't. And he told Cassie of all people that I did! Great! It'll be all over the ship within the centar," the Captain groaned. ********* "There you go, Starbuck. You just lay here and I'll get the doctor," Cassie cooed as she smoothed down Starbuck's hair. "My leg and my toes hurt really bad," Starbuck whimpered, shamelessly playing on Cassie's sympathies. "I know they do, but the doctor will fix you up and make it feel better," Cassie said as she brushed the hair out of Starbuck's eyes. Starbuck smiled his famous Starbuck smile at her, getting a kiss on the cheek for a reward. *** Two centars later, Starbuck was wheeled out of the Life Centre and into the waiting room. He had a brace on his left foot, and the toes of his right foot were taped up. "Congratulations, Captain. You broke every one of the toes on his right foot, and the tendons and ligaments of his left foot and ankle are damaged as well. It will be at least six sectons before he heals up properly," Cassie said, hands on hips and sounding like an old school marm scolding a mischievous child. "Six sectons?" Apollo gasped "Yes, and at that time he'll get a walking brace on his left leg, which he'll need to wear for another two to four sectons. And he'll need physical therapy. In the meantime, someone has to take care of him. He should keep off his feet entirely, except for trips to the turboflush." Starbuck looked up at Apollo, with pouty lips and tears filling his big blue eyes. Apollo couldn't resist that look. "Well, since I'm the one who broke them, it's my responsibility to look after him. Come on, Bucko, let's get you home." Apollo sighed and pushed the wheelchair out of the Life Centre. "Here is some pain medication in case he needs it, but *only* if he needs it and *only* if there is another adult around. These pills are very strong and can cause some people to do or see strange things, so make sure he only takes *one* at a time no sooner than 4 centars apart. And make sure he keeps those legs up! We don't want any more swelling!" Cassie called after them. "I'll be around in the morning to check on him." "Gee, Apollo, you must really love me to be willing to take care of me like this, even considering that I wouldn't be in this trouble if you hadn't dropped that board." "And I'm sure you won't let me forget it," Apollo mumbled to himself. part 2 The first thing Apollo did when they reached his quarters was carefully undress Starbuck - not an easy task considering all the complaining, moaning and whimpering - and put him to bed. He made sure his lover was comfortable, propping pillows behind his back and under each foot to keep them elevated, and tucked the blankets in around him. "There, all nice and snug. Now I'll go make supper for us. Since Boxey's away with his class for the next secton, I can bring it in and we can eat here on the bed - as long as you promise not to spill anything. Okay?" Apollo ran his fingers through his lover's silky blond hair, noticing the smudges of pain beneath the blue eyes. "Promise." Starbuck butted his head against Apollo's hand like a felix. "I'm fine now, but make lots of food. I'm starving!" Apollo sighed and shook his head as he went to the small kitchen. He had a feeling this was going to be a long six sectons. Five centons later, as Apollo was putting orange tubers on to cook he heard Starbuck call. "Apollo, *Apollo*, APOLLO!" Thinking something must be wrong, Apollo rushed to the bedroom. "What's the matter?" "I'm bored. Do you have anything to read?" "I have plenty of things to read," Apollo sighed. "Just a centon." Apollo went to the small shelf in the other room, tripping over the shelf he had dropped on Starbuck's toes earlier that afternoon. He picked out a book for Starbuck to read, one that he knew had a lot of graphic sex scenes. "A romance novel?" Starbuck whined when he saw the title: Hearts In Paradise. "Apollo, you gotta be kidding." "It belonged to Serina. There are some pretty hot all-male sex scenes in it. Serina was into slash stories." "Okay, I'll give it a try," Starbuck grumbled as he opened the book. Apollo went back to the kitchen. No more than five centons later: "Apollo, *Apollo*, APOLLO!" "What is it now, Starbuck?" Apollo asked with annoyance. "I'm thirsty. Can I have a drink of water?" Giving a heavy sigh, Apollo quickly brought Starbuck a glass of water, but it wasn't good enough. "What - no ice? You know I like ice in my water, Apollo." "All right, I'll get you some ice. Just a micron." Five centons after Apollo had given Starbuck his water, it happened again. "Apollo, *Apollo*, APOLLO!" "Now what?" Apollo was clearly losing his patience. "This book is boring. I read all the sex scenes and I've done all those positions. What else do you have?" Starbuck calmly asked, ignoring the tone of Apollo's voice. "A few mysteries, some comedies, and technical books." "Can I have a mystery?" Books successfully changed, Starbuck appeared to be happy and Apollo believed he was finally going to get supper finished. However ten centons later he heard Starbuck call out once more. "Apollo, *Apollo*, APOLLO!" "**What is it now, Starbuck? I am *never* going to get this meal cooked if you keep calling me in here!**." Apollo yelled as he stomped into the bedroom. Putting on a sad face and heaving a big, whimpery sigh, Starbuck said in a small voice, "I don't feel like reading. Could you please bring the vid screen in here? I'd go out to the front room myself, but with my toes broken and the tendons in my leg torn, I just can't do it on my own." The way Starbuck said it made Apollo feel guilty for yelling at him, so Apollo dutifully carried the vid screen into the bedroom and bolted it into its wall bracket. He handed Starbuck the remote unit. "Anything else you would like while I'm in here?" Apollo just knew the protein brisket was burning. "Some more water would be nice, and when will supper be ready? My stomach's growling." "Lords, give me the strength not to strangle him!" Apollo mumbled. ********** Part 3 Apollo washed up the kitchen area while Starbuck watched some silly show on IFB. He loved Starbuck, he really did, but after only one night the lieutenant was already driving him crazy. "And I have to put up with this for six sectons? I'm going to be insane by the time it's all over!" he moaned to the ceiling, hoping some god - any god - would hear him. "Apollo, *Apollo*, APOLLO!" he heard Starbuck call once more. He was growing to hate his name. 'What is it, Starbuck?" "I have to go to the turboflush, really bad. I think you gave me too much water to drink." "You asked for all that water - don't blame me for your aching bladder," Apollo said in exasperation as he lifted Starbuck and carried him to the turboflush. "Make sure you don't drop me again. I don't need any more injuries." "How about if I drop you on your head," Apollo mumbled. "What was that? What did you say?" "Nothing, Starbuck. Just sit down and do whatever you have to do." "I have to sit? Women are supposed to sit! Men stand." "You can't stand to pee right now, Starbuck. You have to sit." Apollo spoke in a reasonable tone, as he would have to Boxey. "And whose fault is that?" Starbuck snapped. "Mine," Apollo gritted through clenched teeth. "It's all my fault for dropping the board on your foot and then carrying you to the Life Centre and dropping you on the chair." While he did his business on the turboflush, Starbuck looked at the tub and sighed. "I want a bath." "You can't have a bath with your toes taped up and that thing on your leg." "Why not? You could help me - you can hold my legs up." "Oh, I can see that picture! And then suddenly your astrum slides down the tub and your head goes under the water and you drown." "I not only want a bath, I need one!" Starbuck insisted. "It's hot in that bedroom." "All right, I have an idea. Just let me finish cleaning up the dishes and I'll give you a sponge bath." Starbuck smiled. It seemed he liked the idea of a sponge bath a whole lot better. ***** "Okay Starbuck, I'm ready to give you that bath now." Apollo entered the bedroom carrying a basin of hot water and placed it on the night table. "Thanks, Apollo," Starbuck said earnestly. "A sponge bath will make me feel a whole lot more comfortable." 'More comfortable, more relaxed and considerably more naked,' Apollo thought to himself as he went to the turbowashroom and gathered a towel, facecloth, soap and shampoo. On his way back to the bedroom he spied a bottle of massage oil and, grinning wickedly, he grabbed it as well. Back in the bedroom, Apollo gently helped Starbuck remove his nightshirt and tossed it into the laundry hamper. Then he removed his own clothing, causing Starbuck to raise his eyebrows questioningly. "You know me," he said, kissing the tip of Starbuck's nose. "I can be as clumsy as a Taurus at times, and I don't want to get my uniform all wet." "Best keep the basin of water on the table then, or the bed will get soaked, and I *don't* want to sleep in a wet bed," Starbuck cautioned. Apollo nodded his agreement as he wet the facecloth and soaped it up. He started by washing Starbuck's face, using gentle strokes, taking extra care around his eyes. He didn't want to get soap into his lover's beautiful eyes. "I'll find a way to wash your hair, after I finish with the rest of you," Apollo whispered as he rinsed the cloth and wiped the soap off Starbuck's face. Starbuck looked so adorably trusting that Apollo leaned close and brushed his lips against his lover's, just tasting him with the tip of his tongue. "Hmm," Starbuck sighed appreciatively. "Maybe I could lay on the turbowashroom floor, with my head hanging over the edge of the tub?" "That might work. I don't think it should hurt your feet too much to have them down for that short period of time." Apollo was now washing Starbuck's neck, causing his lover to purr. "We could raise my feet a little higher afterwards to keep the swelling down." "Yeah, with some ropes for easier access." Apollo thought he said this to himself. "What?" Starbuck was shocked by what he thought he heard his lover say. "Ah, yeah, then you could rest." Apollo grinned, hoping Starbuck bought it. "Taking your time washing that nipple, aren't you? The other one is starting to feel neglected." "Sorry, my mind was on other things," Apollo apologised as he slowly dragged the cloth across Starbuck's chest to wash his right nipple. "Yes, I can see that," Starbuck breathed as he looked down at Apollo's growing cock. "I need to wash your back, so you'll have to sit up." Apollo's voice was becoming husky with lust. Apollo quickly washed Starbuck's back, then helped him to lie down again. He then continued washing Starbuck's abdomen, and moved to his thighs, smirking at the sight of the hard cock between his lover's legs. "You seem to be enjoying this. I think I'll save that part for last," he cooed as he washed Starbuck's thigh with sensuous strokes that appeared to be driving the other man crazy. "You forgot to wash my arms," Starbuck panted. "Oh, sorry." Apollo rinsed the cloth once more, then washed the upper limbs. Once done, he returned to washing - and teasing - Starbuck's thighs once more. Starbuck's face was flushed with excitement; this bath felt like the most erotic experience of his life. When Apollo moved down to wash his lower legs, he leaned back into the pillows and closed his eyes. Carefully Apollo lifted his right leg and gently washed the foot, being extra careful not to hurt the bruised and slightly swollen toes. "We might have to ask Cassie about changing the tape on these in the morning, I'm getting a little water on there. You're okay, I hope. This isn't hurting?" "No, it feels wonderful," Starbuck moaned. "Good. I'm going to move to the other leg now, and wash the part that's not covered with that brace." "Okay, I trust you." "Wait until I get back up to your astrum," Apollo mumbled, but Starbuck didn't appear to have heard. Using feather-light touches, Apollo washed the parts of Starbuck's leg that were exposed, again taking special care around the injured area. Starbuck laid back, fully relaxed, his face flushed, his cock hard against his belly. Slowly Apollo dipped the cloth into the water and rinsed it again, then gently spread Starbuck's legs and knelt in between them. "Just this one area left to wash, my love, then you'll be all clean," Apollo whispered. Starbuck sighed as he felt Apollo lightly touch his butt, washing each cheek and the crack in between. The blond man whimpered with want; Apollo seemed to be ignoring the burning flesh that was his cock. Then the touch came, the warm cloth slowly moving up, down and around the swollen cock and balls, cleaning and rinsing away the day's sweat and grime. Apollo leaned down and took Starbuck's mouth in a tender kiss that quickly turned hot and hungry, their tongues sliding against each other. Gently breaking the kiss, he slid down between the still parted legs, placing small butterfly kisses along each inner thigh. Starbuck moaned and reached his hands down, tangling them in Apollo's long, dark hair, trying to coax him upwards, wanting that mouth on his cock. Apollo chuckled, and licked up the length of Starbuck's shaft. Giving the head a small kiss, he sank his mouth over his lover's cock, taking it all in until his nose was tickled by the blond pubic hair. He heard Starbuck gasp and moan again, then slowly started sucking. Starbuck's hands clutched his hair fiercely as he tried to thrust into Apollo's mouth, but Apollo placed a hand on each hip, holding him down. Then he set the pace himself, his head bobbing up and down between Starbuck's wide-spread legs. Whimpers and moans were the only sounds Starbuck was able to make as he felt Apollo start to hum deep down in his throat, sending vibrations down his cock and into his balls. Apollo felt the familiar twitch of Starbuck's cock, the tell-tale sign that his mouth would soon be filled with the goodness that was purely Starbuck. A louder moan filled the room, and the hands tightened in his hair as he received his reward. The slightly salty fluid filled Apollo's mouth and slid down his throat. Swallowing it all, he then licked around the spent organ until it was clean and limp once again. Gently letting it slip out of his mouth, he crawled up Starbuck's body and placed a soft kiss on the parted lips. "Mmmmm, you taste good." "I love you, Apollo." "And I love you. Would you like me to carry you into the turbo-flush and wash your hair now?" "In the morning. Right now I want to do something else," Starbuck whispered as he reached down and took hold of Apollo's still ridged cock. "I think you need release." "You don't have to - don't want to hurt your toes or leg," Apollo whispered with concern. "Scoot up here silly! There's more than one way to pleasure your lover," Starbuck said with a lusty growl. "And when I'm done milking you dry, you can explain to me what you had in mind for those ropes." The thought of tying Starbuck's legs in the air with ropes - and that his lover might like it - caused Apollo's hard cock to twitch with excitement, a movement which Starbuck noticed. Slowly moving up Starbuck's body so he was sitting on his lover's chest, Apollo started to explain what he wanted to do. As he did this Starbuck placed his hands on Apollo's astrum, and massaged the firm cheeks, deep-throating the still twitching cock. It wasn't going to take long for his dark-haired god to come. "Well, first I'll wrap some sheepskin around your ankles, so the rope won't chafe your skin or cause any more injury," Apollo panted. "Then I'll tie one end of the rope around your left ankle, tight enough so you can't get it off but loose enough so it won't cut off your circulation." Starbuck removed Apollo's cock from his mouth for a moment and reminded him that he had a brace on his left leg, so he wouldn't have to worry about cutting off the circulation. "Put that mouth of yours back were it belongs and let me finish!" Apollo said with the urgency of a man who was on the edge of orgasm. "Oh, that feels good," he moaned as Starbuck slowly sucked him in. "Now, after I tie your left ankle, I'll slip the other end of the rope through an eye screw that I'm going to put in the ceiling, right up there above the bed." He tried to point to the spot, but the trembling in his body prevented it. "Hmmmmmm, then I'll pull it, bringing your leg up as high as it will go." He started thrusting into Starbuck's mouth, slowly so as not to choke him but at the same time trying to get as deep as possible. "Then the rope will go through another eye screw, about two feet over, I think, and down to your other ankle - " He thrust faster into the warm mouth, as the vision of what he wanted to do excited him more. "- where I'll tie it up and then pull that leg up as high as it will go. The placement of the eye screws will keep your legs spread, once I've done all this, and ........... I'll take you as many times ........ as I want..... and .....you...... won't .......be ......able....... to....... get ..........awayyyyyyyyyyyy." As he said the last word, Apollo came, hard and fast, shooting into Starbuck's mouth. Starbuck swallowed every drop of Apollo's salty deposit and licked him clean before he allowed the softened cock to slip free. "Mmm, that sounds like fun, so much fun you have me hard again," Starbuck said pointedly, hopefully. "Well, I have the rope, but I'll have to go out and buy the eye screws I'm afraid," Apollo whispered as he leaned down and captured Starbuck's lips in a long slow kiss, "I'll also have to find a good drill, with one of those bits for drilling into metal and maybe some plugs for the screws to latch onto- wouldn?t want them coming out of the ceiling unexpectedly.? "Go ahead. Muffit's here. If I need anything, he can fetch it for me," Starbuck answered, nipping at Apollo's neck. Before Starbuck's breathing had even returned to normal, Apollo was up and getting dressed, obviously in a hurry to put his plan into action. He set a large pitcher of ice water and a fresh glass on the table, and called Muffit into the room. Then he gave Starbuck a long, passionate kiss, and left to get the rest of the things they would need for their game. "Well, Muffit, it's just you and me. Get me the remote and we'll see what's on the IFB." Part 4 Starbuck shifted on the bed and moaned. His toes and leg were starting to throb. Reaching for a glass of water and the bottle of pain meds that Cassie had given him he popped off the top and shook two into his hand. He swallowed them and looked down at the droid sitting by the bed. "Don't you tell Apollo I took any of these - you hear me, Muffy? I can just hear 'Mr. Oh It's All my Fault ' if he knew I had to take these! He'd blame himself for it, claiming that his sucking me off was so good it made my toes curl. Or something stupid like that." The pain meds were the fast-acting kind; five centons later he was feeling no pain and was clicking through the channels on the IFB, groaning at the few choices he had. "Oh, only five fracking channels! Back in the Colonies we had over 1000 to choose from, and there was always something on worth watching, but what do we have now?" He looked back down at Muffit, who gave out an imitation whine. "Five channels: one with some lady talking about decorating your quarters, three soap operas and a kids' show. Maybe the kids' show will be fun to watch." Starbuck left it on the children's program, propped the pillows behind his back, and sat back to watch. The pain meds kicked in some more. "Get ready to wiggle, wiggle your legs and wiggle your -" Singing bellowed from the vid screen, while four young men danced. "The Wigglies! What a funny name for a singing group!" Starbuck giggled, floating on a cloud of pain medication. "They even wiggle their astrums, 'cept they don't sing about it. 'Course Apollo's got a cuter astrum than them guys. I wouldn't mind watching Apollo wiggle his astrum like that." Suddenly the bed moved. With growing dread, Starbuck remembered the monster who had lived under his bed at the orphanage. He'd never seen the monster, but he'd known it was there, ready to grab at his ankles if given the chance. Then he heard a metallic whimper, and he sighed with relief. "Hey! Whatcha doin' under there, Muffit?" The daggit crawled out from under the bed, carrying a paper bag. "Gimme that! What's in it?" Starbuck grabbed the bag from the daggit's steel jaws, ripping the top, and peered inside. "Oh, Appy, what have you been up to when I've been gone?" He giggled again as he reached into the bag and pulled out its contents: "A dildo, a really big dildo - gotta be about 10 inches long!" Starbuck smiled wickedly, imagining Apollo playing with the dildo while he was on a long patrol with Boomer. He laid the dildo on the bed beside him and reached in again. "Hmf, pretty small butt plug if you ask me - my finger's wider than this thing!" He threw the butt plug towards the door, but it bounced off the wall and came back, hitting Muffit on the head. The daggit yelped. "Ha ha, Muffit - you're a dick-head now! Always were - never understood what Appy could've been thinking, to have Dr. Wilker make you - he must've been temporarily insane. What else has he got in here? Ooooh - a duster, a feather duster with rainbow feathers! Hehehee! Must have come off a rainbow chicken. Poor wittle rainbow chicken - lost her tail feathers. What's she gonna do now? I didn't know they grew rainbow chickens on the Livestock Ship. Do they grow rainbow cows too? And if they do, why do we have these boring brown uniform jackets?" Starbuck was overcome with a fit of giggles. Muffit stared at him, giving off a sound that sounded like confused groan. "I'm hungry, Muffy-poo. Go get me a snack." With a mechanical yip, Muffit ran out to the small kitchen. At the fridge he jumped up, placed his paws on the door of the counter beside it, and opened it with his jaws. Looking inside, he saw one of Boxey's favourite snacks (other than mushies) and took one back to Starbuck. "Pre-packaged fruit salad! What - no spoon? That's okay - I can eat it with my fingers. Bet you can't guess what I've done with the duster - poor wittle rainbow chicken." Wiggling his butt, he giggled again as he started to eat the fruit. His attention was then drawn to the vid screen, where the four men were singing: "Fruit salad, yummy yummy, fruit salad yummy yummy. The first step, peel a banana, the second step........" Starbuck giggled louder as he started to sing along. "Fruit salad, yummy yummy, fruit salad yummy yummy. Peel a banana -don't have to! I got one right here," he sang as he grabbed his dick and jerked it. "Take some grapes - my grapes are under my banana. Big, juicy grapes! Too bad, Muffy - you don't have a banana or grapes. Good thing, too - don't want a droid daggit humping my leg. Now some apples. Pollo's balls are the size of apples - small apples. Some melons - oh, I don't have melons - those are for girls. Unless I count Pollo's ass cheeks." He wiggled his butt and giggled again. "Starbuck, are you feeling okay?" Apollo asked from the doorway, his eyes wide and his mouth open in shock. He'd arrived just in time to hear certain body parts being likened to fruit. "Oh - Hi Pollo. I'm just eating a fruit salad, yummy yummy." He giggled and wiggled. "Starbuck, did you take any of those pain pills Cassie gave you." "Muffy, you told - and after you promised!" Starbuck scolded the daggit, who hung his head and whined. "Starbuck, how many pills did you take? Didn't you hear Cassie say to only take one at a time because they were double-strength?" Apollo asked as he crossed the room, stopping when he heard the crumbling of a paper bag. "Oh frack! What else have you been up to while I was gone?" "It not my fault. It's Muffy's!" Starbuck narrowed his eyes at the daggit, who produced what sounded like a whimper. "Where are the things I had in this bag?" Apollo was trying not to get angry; after all Starbuck was higher than the celestial dome. Then he stepped on the small butt plug. Bending to pick it up, he asked, "Why is this on the floor?" "It's been where no man has been before." Another wiggle and giggle. "What!?" "Muffy played with it, and your dildo's right here." Starbuck laughed as he held up the giant dildo, then wiggled and giggled again. "Whatcha do, Pollo - take in a model of mine?" "Why are you doing that - that wiggling thing?" Apollo asked, afraid that he didn't want to know the answer. He grabbed the dildo from Starbuck and stuffed it back into the bag. "Doin' what?" Starbuck looked up at Apollo with innocent blue eyes - and wiggled again. "Why are wiggling your astrum like that and making that godawful giggling sound?" Apollo had never known Starbuck to giggle before. Starbuck's answer was another giggle. Then it dawned on Apollo: the feather duster was missing. "Oh no - you didn't!" Apollo grimaced as he took hold of the blankets and pulled them down. "Starbuck! Now why did you do that?" "My grapes were dusty," Starbuck explained. When Apollo gave him a confused look, he added defensively, "Tickling my ass with feathers - it's fun! Isn't that what you bought it for? You weren't really going to dust with it - were you?" Apollo sighed in exasperation and said, "I'm going to get everything ready for that little game we talked about, but we will *not* play until you have come down from this high. Um, then I'm going to hit the turbowash and clean off my apples and melons." "You do have mighty fine melons!" Starbuck giggled. Apollo raised an eyebrow, shook his head, and grinned at his giggling lover. Part 5 Starbuck awoke feeling refreshed and surprisingly pain free, although the events of the night before seemed to fog up in his mind. He remembered Apollo running out in a hurry to get supplies, and taking pain killers then turning on the vid screen, but everything after that was a blur. He didn't even remember Apollo returning, but he knew he had since he was sleeping beside him. He also knew Apollo had managed to find everything needed for the game they'd joked about during their lovemaking; he could see the hooks placed in screwed into the ceiling, in just the right position to keep his legs far enough apart so that Apollo had access to him, yet not far enough to cause pain. "Good morning, sunshine! How's my singing lover today?" Apollo chuckled beside him, a strange smirk on his face. "Singing lover?" Starbuck had no idea what Apollo was talking about. "Oh, don't tell me you don't remember singing about my apples and melons?" "When did you buy apples and melons? Can I have some?" Starbuck asked, sitting up quickly. Sighing, Apollo got up out of bed. He stretched sexily, his morning erection reaching toward Starbuck. "I'll make us a quick breakfast and then after we eat, I'll wash your hair," Apollo said, heading for the turboflush. "You don't want me to take care of that hard on for you?" Starbuck asked wistfully as Apollo left the room. Starbuck's eyes were wide with amazement as he watched a naked Apollo balance the breakfast tray on the palm of his left hand, held high above his head. Then, with a flourish, he placed it on the side of the bed. "There you go, my love, some nice, freshly-made fruit salad. Oh yummy yummy." "What's that smirk all about," Starbuck inquired suspiciously. "What did you do to the salad?" "Just remembering a children's song," Apollo said very innocently. Starbuck may not remember singing the day before, but that didn't mean Apollo couldn't tease him about it. "What did you put in this?" Starbuck didn't quite trust Apollo; he'd known him too long not to realize that he was up to something. With a huge, evil grin Apollo gently pulled the blanket off of Starbuck, being careful not to tip over the tray. "Just some cut up banana" - he lightly stroked Starbuck's cock - "add some grapes" - he gently squeezed Starbuck's balls. Then, grabbing his own balls, he added, "Oh and some apples and melons." He patted his own astrum, laughing at the confused look on Starbuck's face. ******** Apollo gave Starbuck a quick peck on the cheek as he removed the tray from the bed. "I think that was a delightful breakfast, and I'm done teasing you now. Just let me put me this away and then we can get that hair washed." Picking Starbuck up carefully, Apollo carried him into the turbo-wash and sat him beside the tub. Apollo had already placed one stack of towels on the floor, so Starbuck wouldn't hurt his knees as he knelt with his head hanging over the tub, and another over the side to protect him from the cold metal. After testing and adjusting the water temperature, Apollo slowly started wetting down Starbuck's hair. Taking care that no soap dribbled into his lover's eyes, Apollo slowly lathered up Starbuck's head. Suddenly Starbuck gave a start, as he felt Apollo's hand between his legs. "You're supposed to be washing my hair!" Starbuck tried to sound suitably offended. "I'm just making sure all your hair is clean." Apollo gave him a wicked grin. "I don't have any hair *on* my cock." "Your complaints would work better if your cock weren't so hard," Apollo advised as he lightly nipped Starbuck?s shoulder. "My cock wouldn't be hard if you weren't playing with it," Starbuck retorted. Chuckling evilly, Apollo removed his hand from Starbuck's cock, rinsed the soap from his hair, and draped a towel over his head. He rubbed at Starbuck's hair with the towel until Starbuck began to howl that he could do it himself. "Do it yourself, then," Apollo shrugged. "I have other things to do." Having decided that it wouldn't hurt to sponge-bathe a few essential parts, he went back between his lover's legs with a soapy washcloth. "Hey! I thought we were done with the bathing!" Starbuck glared at him from under the towel and tried to slap at his hands. "Nope!" Apollo said cheerfully, starting to rinse off the soap without making too big a mess on the floor. "And stop the slapping - I was trying to prevent a puddle so neither of us will break our necks!" Apollo finished the rinsing process, keeping the water on the floor to a manageable level. Taking a few of the towels Starbuck had been sitting on, Apollo deliberately turned so his back side was facing Starbuck and bent over to dry the floor. Starbuck was aware that Apollo had done this on purpose, giving him a very good look at that beautiful butt, and, of course, what was hanging between those lovely, long legs. Starbuck couldn't resist; with a mischievous grin he reached up, and gave Apollo's butt and very hard pinch. Apollo jumped when he felt the unexpected pinch, hitting his head on the sink counter."Ouch, you're gonna pay for that, Bucko! Just wait until I get you back into that bed!" Leaving Starbuck sitting by the tub, Apollo went to the bedroom to set up his surprise. Casting a last glare at Starbuck, Apollo left him sitting by the tub while he went to the bedroom to set up his surprise. Part 6 Starbuck's jaw dropped when he saw what Apollo had in store for him. "What is that? Where did you get it? Who gave you an idea like that? When did you learn about those things and why didn't you tell me you had one?" Sighing heavily, Apollo answered, "It's a sex sling, I bought it from someone who shall remain nameless - because you really don't know him. The idea came to me while I was getting the other supplies; I learned about them one night when my father was on leave and I wanted it to be a surprise." "Your parents had one?" Starbuck was shocked. "Yes, they did. I saw it hanging in their bedroom and that's all I'll admit to," Apollo said as he carefully picked Starbuck up and climbed onto the bed so he could place him in the sling. "Don't you drop me again!" Starbuck warned. "Stop squirming and I won't," Apollo huffed. Starbuck took firm hold of the arm straps to the sling so he could help hoist himself into the swinging leather sex toy. Fifteen centons later he was suspended from the ceiling, his legs spread invitingly. "Well, how do I look?" he asked Apollo mischievously. Instead of answering, Apollo grabbed Starbuck's ass and sent the sling into a spin.* "Hey! No fair! I'm getting dizzy!" "Just trying out what I can do with this thing," Apollo chuckled, stopping the spin only to swing the sling back and forth. "Oh look - I won't have to do any work." Starbuck's quick-witted comeback became a gasp when his cock was suddenly engulfed by the warm wetness of Apollo's mouth. For the next five centons Apollo teased Starbuck into speechless idiocy as he continued to swing the sling back and forth, taking Starbuck's cock into his mouth each time he swung towards him, licking it up and down, only to let it back out into the cool air as the sling swung back away from him. On each forward swing, Starbuck tried to clutch Apollo, tried to hold himself in that warm mouth. "Why don't we try something else?" Apollo suggested as he jumped off the bed to grab the lube. He applied some to his hand and pushed a finger into Starbuck's exposed hole. Starbuck's muscles quivered around his finger, and he let out a few soft pleading moans. Starbuck suddenly jumped, or tried to, when he felt a vibration go through his cock straight to his balls. Apollo, fingers still embedded inside him, had taken him into his mouth once again, but instead of sucking and licking him, he had placed the bottom of his tongue on the head of Starbuck's cock and was now reciting the ABC's. By the time Apollo reached the letter "N" Starbuck was shouting out his name and Apollo was swallowing that pure Starbuck essence. Once that was gone, Apollo started at A again, only more slowly this time, and soon had Starbuck begging for more. A few more centons of teasing, with more fingers and his mouth, and Apollo gave Starbuck what he so nicely begged for. He removed his fingers - all four of them - and slid his cock in to the hilt, rocking the swing back and forth. Starbuck bucked in the restraints, moaning and gasping in ecstasy as Apollo fucked him with slow, deliberate thrusts. Both men were on the verge of orgasm when they heard the door chime. "Who the frack is that?" Starbuck gasped. "Who knows? We're both off duty, so it isn't the Colonel come to get us for a mission. At least I hope not." "The Commander?" Starbuck was squeaking now because Apollo hadn't stopped swinging the sling. Apollo thought for a moment, during which he managed a few more thrusts. "Maybe he wants to check up on you. Let's ignore it and maybe he'll go away." Cassie stood outside Apollo's door, tapping her dainty foot.* "Oh great! Apollo's not answering the door. I know he's home because Adama gave him the next two sectons off to look after Starbuck. What in Hades has Apollo done to Starbuck this time?" Cassie wondered aloud. "I'd better use my medical override on the lock. And if I find Starbuck sprawled on the floor, or in more pain than he should be, or if that clumsy captain has somehow injured him again, there's gonna be Hades to pay!" she said through clenched teeth as she punched in the code. She was halfway into the room before the door finished opening. "That sounds like moaning and groaning. If Starbuck's in pain and that Boray of a captain hasn't given him any pain meds - grrrr - I'll kill him!" Face red with rage, Cassie ran to the bedroom. She stopped at the door, her mouth dropping open at the sight before her. She reached into her pocket, pulled out her stethoscope, and rushed at the bed. "YOWWWWWWWWWW!" Apollo screamed as Cassie's stethoscope cracked across his ass. "How dare you take advantage of a helpless man!" Cassie screamed as she jumped on Apollo, forcing him down onto Starbuck. The added weight shoved Apollo's cock further inside Starbuck. "How dare you! How dare you! I thought you were an honourable man, but you're not! You're nothing but a pervert!" she shouted as she grabbed Apollo by the hair, shaking his head. "I'm not taking advantage! He wanted it, Cassie! It's just a game!" Apollo tried to reason with the enraged med tech. "Please let go of my hair!" Starbuck was screaming as well, but neither Cassie nor Apollo appeared to hear him. "Get off! The sling's not meant for this much weight! You're gonna break it!" None of them heard the creaking groan from the ceiling, or saw the bolts slowly slipping out. Suddenly they were falling, and all three landed at the foot of the bed. The sudden weight of three bodies caused the bed's legs to fold up and sent the foot end of the mattress crashing to the floor. The three were suddenly thrown forward, landing on the floor with Cassie underneath the two men. Screaming for them to get off of her, Cassie gave a mighty heave and toppled both pilots in her efforts to scramble free. "My cock! My cock is broken! Oh God, my cock is broken!" Apollo screeched, clutching his poor cock. "My ass is on fire! Oh it hurts it hurts it hurts!" Starbuck was screaming. "Oh my God! What have I done?" Cassie gasped, running to the comm unit to call Dr. Salik. "I think I've just killed them both." To be continued...