Obscured And Eclipsed by Minna Toivonen (mikrito@hotmail.com) Rating: NC-17 Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to me. No profit is being made from this story. * * * * * * Chapter 1 "Thanks y'all. See you in fifteen centons!" The blond man at the microphone grinned a little dazed. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do..." There was little laughter in the Comet lounge of the Rising Star. Lieutenant Apollo smiled. He watched as the man with the microphone waved his hand to the audience once more just before the lights on stage dimmed and the band walked away in darkness. The buzz of chatter and laughter in the comet lounge restored to its usual heights as people returned to their meals and conversations. Apollo's longing gaze remained on the empty stage for perhaps ten microns longer before turning back to the others sitting at his table. Another Friday night, another empty way to spend off-duty cycle. Apollo's eyes lingered on his mates. Boomer was well on his way to get drunk as usual. Apollo knew he would have to half carry the dark lieutenant back to the quarters when the night was over. Giles was chatting up yet another girl. Apollo sighed. The guy's reputation as the fleet gigolo was indeed well-earned. Apollo couldn't even remember a night when Giles would've left the Star in the company of his friends. Apollo couldn't for the life of him understand how Athena continued to put up with that man. Stuck in the quarters alone with two kids every night while hubby here was taking sexual liberties. Sometimes Apollo almost hated Giles for treating his sister like that, but he never said anything to the man. Apollo was afraid of him. In addition to being a womanizer, Giles had a reputation for being short-tempered and violent. Bojay too was having a conversation with some blond woman he kept calling Cassiopeia. By the look of her clothes she was obviously a prostitute. Everyone knew the Rising Star was heaven aboard for fleet socialators. Apollo noticed how Bojay's hand was secretly sliding up the woman's thigh, soon disappearing under the red skirt. The blond woman giggled in a stupid, pretentious way. Apollo looked away. The sandy-haired guy in the next table was looking elegantly bored. Apollo knew it was a practiced pose. Lomas was the pet of the commander of the Council of the Twelve because he was the lover of sire Aron. Yes, ever since commander Adama was put aside from leading the Council, sire Aron had not been hiding his enjoyment of being appointed to this administrative position. Shamelessly he has kept on using this newly- given power for his own selfish purposes. Apollo couldn't believe how blind the Council was. Sure, Aron could be a hell of a charmer but... hell, those other eleven men were not exactly born yesterday. Still, the Council as well as most other people in the fleet were totally blinded by this guy's presence. He was considered to be elected the next fleet commander and after that, the president of the twelve colonies. Sire Aron was indeed an arriviste, but so was captain Lomas. In the six sectars the fleet had been traveling through space, the Lomas guy had moved from bed to bed like a laser beam, choosing only the most influential and powerful people. It didn't matter whether they were men or women. It was their position in the fleet that counted. With sire Aron Lomas had finally hit the jackpot, and Apollo knew Lomas had more influence on the Council leader than what was healthy. Apollo's eyes lingered on captain Lomas a little longer. Hell of a good-looking guy with a body to die for. An obvious nose-job... Apollo's eyes moved to Greenbean and Serina smooching on the dance floor. Those two had been an item since the destruction of the colonies. To Apollo Serina must have been one of the most beautiful women in the universe. Such a shame that her kid had died in the holocaust. Greenbean was hell of a lucky guy. Apollo sighed as his gaze returned to the glass of ambrosa in front of him. He had hardly touched it. Tonight, it tasted like felgercarb. Apollo wished he had the courage to go backstage... The blond guy's name was Starbuck. That was about all Apollo knew. Most of the time dressed in tight leather trousers and tight, psychedelic shirts, Starbuck was the lead singer and rhythm guitarist in a Rising Star band called 'Violet Moondust'. Five guys playing alternative rock and psychedelic underground stuff, usually giggling for a younger or more devoted audience but doing an occasional lounge show like tonight. Starbuck seemed like from another universe. Apollo had never been that interested in keeping up with what was happening in the music world but 'Violet Moondust' was one of those bands you just couldn't escape from. Their videos constantly rolling on IFB2, music magazines bulging with pictures of Starbuck and his bandmates...Yeah, thanks to those pictures Apollo had completely lost his piece of mind. How the hell could he have fallen for a guy he had never even met. Apollo sighed. If only he would have the courage to go backstage... The lights in the lounge began to dimmer. Apollo's eyes found their way to the stage. The unexplainable feeling returned. Apollo couldn't understand it. It was like the only reason for being happy had suddenly re-appeared. Apollo was suddenly feeling so content just seeing the blond man up there, just being able to watch him... Boomer turned to Apollo and started slurring something drunken and uncomprehendible. Apollo ignored it totally. He didn't take his eyes off the stage for even a micron. He couldn't! Seeing the blond guy up there in the bright lights, seeming to reflect the light like a star... Apollo felt something choking his throat. Oh for Sagan's sake, Apollo frowned with devotion. He, a thirty-three-yahren-old squadron captain, acting like a goddamn teenager!.. The music began. To Apollo it was everything he had ever wanted to hear. He was afraid to admit to himself that it wasn't the music at all... Apollo could have stayed there forever, just watching the blond man caressing his guitar, whispering words to the microphone, his mouth so close to it that his lips seemed to be touching it like the wings of a butterfly... Something happened. Apollo was sure the blond man's eyes were on him! No they weren't! Don't be a fool! Apollo heart was beating so fast he was sure he was going to have a heart attack... Yes... Yes, the guy was looking straight at him! Singing for Apollo, only for a passing moment. Forever. It was all over so despairingly soon. Apollo's heart didn't calm down. Their eyes had met, that was all he could think about. How in heavens could Apollo suddenly be so exhilarated... Duh, he tried to calm himself down. The blond man couldn't even see anyone in the audience. It was too dark in the lounge... But... Their eyes had met... The set ended. The lights returned, the cheers died down. Surrounded by people and voices, Apollo was left with nothing but painful longing. His heart had grown dark again. Boomer was on the verge of passing out, his head hanging only centimetrons away from the table. Bojay had already left with the blond hooker. Giles and the girl had moved to the dance floor to have an excuse to rub their bodies together in a public place. The music that was now playing in the Comet lounge seemed so quiet after the band. Apollo felt such desolation. His yearning eyes kept turning to the narrow door leading to the backstage areas... God it made him nervous as frack even thinking about it... Apollo pushed his chair back. Boomer looked up with hazy eyes. "Where are you off to?" "Nowhere." Apollo mumbled. "Just needing to take a stroll around to stretch my legs and to see who's here. Be back in a micron..." "Sure." Boomer head collapsed on the table. Apollo sure didn't want to stick around to watch. He didn't understand why he always consented to follow his so-called buddies to the Star on off-duty nights anyway. There was nothing for him here, yet Friday after Friday he found himself sitting at the same table with Boomer, Giles and Bojay, being bored out of his head, feeling lonely as frack. Jolly joined their group occasionally for a drink or two, but he had his own friends amongst the fleet rich kids. Yes, Jolly's family had bathed in cubits and after his mother and father had died, Jolly had inherited it all, quit the military he had joined as a hobby and become a full-time goof off. Apollo was a loner and he knew it. He never made friends that easy and after joining the military he couldn't overcome the feeling that he didn't belong there. The only reason why he had joined the military at all was because of his father who had the history of having been a famous warrior hero and a battlestar commander ever since people could remember. Talk about strains... Apollo didn't really look at anybody as he strolled past tables and loitering people, pushed his way through the crowded dance floor. The closer he got to the backstage door, the more nervous he became. Shit, the butterflies in his stomach were growing to be the size of Caprica. Apollo couldn't believe he was actually doing this... The backdoor wasn't locked and there were no bodyguards hanging about which wasn't that much of a surprise. Bands usually didn't usually need them when doing lounge performances. Apollo slipped through the door into the corridor backstage and eyed around. The place was a heck of a lot smaller than he had expected. He could easily spot the door behind which he would no doubt find the band dressing room. God he felt idiotic doing this. WHY was he ?! The blond musician and he belonged to completely different worlds. Apollo knew he could never raise the interest of a guy like Starbuck, but... What would he have to lose... Apollo sighed. ...Nothing but the rest what was left of his dignity. He would be laughed out of the dressing room... Not making much sound Apollo walked to the door and listened. He couldn't hear anything from inside but that didn't mean anything. There could be an orgy going on... Or some crazy lunatic could be holding a laser machine gun aimed at the door and shoot Apollo the moment he would step in... Cut the felgercarb you moron, Apollo snarled to himself. Why would someone be holding a machine gun in a Rising Star dressing room. Apollo took off his eyeglasses and put them in the pocket of his dress cape. He ran his fingers through his dark hair and took a deep breath. Then he knocked. "Yeah?..." A lazy-sounding reply came from the inside. Apollo pleaded his heart to be quiet and placed his hand on the doorknob. Feeling like a trespasser he pushed the door open and found himself face to face with the blond man who looked like a Sagan from another universe. "Yeah? What?" With a blank expression on his face Starbuck eyed the man who had just stepped in. A warrior's dress uniform, Starbuck hated the military. "Who're you?" "Hi..." Apollo tried to create a casual grin on his face. By the look on the blond man's face he didn't succeed very well. "You want somethin'?" Starbuck raised one eyebrow. "I...ummm..." Apollo stuttered. Now he was really feeling like an intruder. "I'm sorry, I..." he swallowed. "I thought..." "Hey, I think we've got a fan here!" A guy sitting on the floor with long curly hair and a silver cross hanging from one ear looked up from the joint he was rolling and gave Apollo a grin, then his eyes lingered to the blond man. "Hey, give the bloke some of your stuff Buck," the man smirked. "Don't be stingy..." "Yeah, you want some of this?" Starbuck's eyes turned back to Apollo and he lifted the small packet he was holding in his hand. "I was just about to give myself a shot. You can join me if you want..." "What is it?" Apollo eyed the packet warily, yet not wanting to appear like a nerd in front of this person that was so enticing to him. "Heroin." Starbuck said blankly. "Pure and heavenly. I've got enough for two..." Apollo sure as hell didn't want to touch that stuff... "You take heroin?" Starbuck's now sarcastic eyes studied the dark-haired man in the doorway. "Okay lad. Why're you here?" "He wants a peace of your ass Buck!" The curly-haired guy smoking a joint smirked. Apollo wished to Sagan he hadn't come here. This had been an idiotic idea. "I... I better go." Apollo smiled fidgeting and took a hold of the doorknob with his left hand. But his eyes were still lingering on Starbuck. It was so hard to turn the gaze away... "Hey, take no notice of Damien," Starbuck grinned lazily. "He's an asshole. Come'ere hon! I'll give you a taste of something real good..." Damien gave a dirty laugh. "...And I mean the heroin." Starbuck grinned, then waved his hand. "Come on!..." Apollo hesitated. He felt embarrassed as frack and his mouth was dry as sandpaper. Yet he couldn't take his off the blond man. And he couldn't leave. "...While we're young." Starbuck arched one eyebrow. "Come on! You wanna stand there by the door for the rest of the night?..." Still hesitating, Apollo finally let go of the doorknob and started towards the blond man, feeling stiff like a lamp-post as he walked. Starbuck didn't take his amused eyes off Apollo for a micron. "What's you name buddy?" "App... Apollo." Appy almost stumbled on a pile of guitar-magazines on the floor. "A military man, huh?" Damien smirked with doparello smoke lingering out of his mouth. "Killed anyone recently?" "Ummm, Damie darling..." Starbuck turned to face the long-haired guy with a meaningful grin. "You mind disappearing for a centar or so..." The smirk on Damien's face widened but he decided not to comment. Instead, he put out the rest of his joint into an ashtray and stretched. "Yeah, I might as well..." He yawned. "Perhaps I'll score some stuff from Eddie..." Apollo's wary eyes followed the curly-haired man walking out the room. Then he became painfully aware that he was now alone with Starbuck. The grin on the blond rock star's face didn't ease Apollo's nervousness at all. "So? You want some of this or not?" Starbuck's eyes seemed to scrutinize on the dark man. "Ummm...." Apollo sure as hell didn't. "Suit yourself." Starbuck shrugged and reached towards a table nearby to take a spoon, a lighter, a syringe and a rope that were placed there and started fiddling with these accessories, preparing to inject the drug. Apollo watched with coldness in his heart as Starbuck tied the robe around his arm, squeezed it tighter and stuck the needle into the bulging blue vein that Apollo couldn't turn his eyes away from. God he felt sick as he saw the blood appearing into the syringe, then disappearing with the rest of the liquid. Starbuck only just bothered to untie the rope. He bent his head backwards and closed his eyes. Apollo had never seen an expression quite like that on anyone's face. Slowly, dazed, Starbuck opened his eyes tried to focus on Apollo. The smile that lingered on his lips was from somewhere far far away. It wasn't in this world, and it sure as hell didn't look like it was aimed at Appy. The look in those blue eyes was even more distant. "Are you sure you don't want some?" Starbuck spoke slowly. "It's great stuff..." "Yeah...I'm sure..." Apollo knew he should've ran away from this all, run like hell, dash out of the room and disappear from the life of this junkie forever and ever... He didn't even make a move towards the door. "You wanna hear somethin'?" Starbuck's vacant gaze was lingering on Apollo. The distant smile was still there. "Sure." Apollo tried to smile too. His eyes followed Starbuck taking his guitar, then plucking a couple of occasional sad-sounding chords. Starbuck turned his gaze back to Appy. "I think I'm inspired by you." Starbuck smiled hazily, reaching out and brushing Apollo's cheek lightly. "The moment you stepped in... " Apollo couldn't speak. he felt the world taking a leap and turning upside down. The thirty-three-yahren-old captain inside was well aware that this 'inspired-by-you' felgercarb was no doubt a line Starbuck used for every enthusiastic teenager, but the infatuated little boy wanted so hard to believe in those words... Starbuck's eyes were on Apollo as he started singing. Quietly, making love with the chords from the guitar, Starbuck's voice kept following a tune that made every hair on Apollo's body start sticking towards the ceiling. Beautiful, meaningless words that sometimes arose from the hum were telling Apollo how he was one of the fading stars, still shining so betrayingly beautifully that all the ancient muses were going blind while dancing around him in heavens, offering their lives for the sake of a micron's light... Apollo had never heard song words more ridiculous but the look on Starbuck's face as he sang made his heart sparkle. In the middle of it all, someone barged in. A tall guy with a violet velvet jacket, a Stetson and black hair hanging all the way to his butt. Apollo knew it was the band drummer. Starbuck turned his interrupted, irritated attention to the guy with the Stetson for a passing micron, then turned back to Apollo, took a hold of him by the chin, meeting Apollo's now very frightened eyes. "What do'ya say if we left this hole and went... err... you have a place?..." Apollo was terrified. "Yeah," He swallowed. "I have a little pad on the Galactica..." "The Galactica!" Starbuck grimaced. "Sheeeeesshh." "You thinkin' of joining the army Buck?" The guy with the Stetson smirked. Starbuck ignored him. "Let's go... Ummm... What did you say your name was?..." "Apollo..." "Let's go, Apollo." Starbuck was so stoned he hardly managed to get up from the floor, then walked to the table where the syringe and all the other stuff had been to put them back there. Apollo's eyes followed him. "You drank all the vodka Dez?" Starbuck glanced at the Stetson dude. "No, it was Moonbuck." Stetson replied lazily, hardly glancing up from the guitar-mag he was reading. "I think he shared it with some girl who was here earlier..." "Is he still fracking that same lass?..." "Naah. This one had bigger tits." "You comin'?" Starbuck noticed Apollo was still sitting on the floor. "Ermmm..." Apollo hesitated, his mind lingering on Boomer. "...My roommate might be there..." "Oh frack." Starbuck frowned. "I guess this is not one of my lucky nights..." "Hey, if you guys really wanna get it on, I won't mind..." The Stetson replied from behind the magazine. "No biggy..." "But... I don't think he'll return to the quarters quite yet. "Apollo continued fidgeting. "He's here in the Comet lounge..." "Why the hell didn't you say so in the first place." The hazy grin of Starbuck's that made Apollo forget about the last drops of common sense he might still have had left returned. "Let's go then!" Legs trembling Apollo climbed to his feet and straightened his dress uniform. Starbuck was already heading towards the door. He stopped and turned to wait until Apollo had caught up with him. Together they left the knowingly-smiling Stetson dude in the dressing room and stepped through the backstage door to the Comet lounge. Apollo wanted so much to touch this blond man beside him as they were making their way towards the exit of the lounge. He didn't. He didn't know how to. Starbuck kept humming half aloud as they walked... * * * Chapter 2 Starbuck had been drooping all the way from the Star. Apollo felt uncomfortable as frack about it but... oh, he was so nicely cuddled up in the blond musician's arms. Nothing else really mattered. Not much anyway. The moment they had taken their seats on the shuttle, Starbuck had put his arm around Apollo's shoulder and pulled him close. At first Apollo had grown completely tense. God he must have seemed to Starbuck like a fourteen-yahren-old school kid. It had taken ten centons for Apollo to be able to relax, and now there was only five more centons before the shuttle would land on the Galactica. Apollo didn't want this flight to end. The advise to fasten one's seatbelts flooded from the shuttle loudspeakers, causing Starbuck to nod awake and look around. He noticed the dark-haired guy there in his arms and furrowed his brows. It took a while before Starbuck remembered where he was. "Hi, how're ya doin'?" Starbuck grinned to Apollo who was once again so nervous he felt his armpits and hands start sweating. "Comfy?" "Mmmmm...." "Can one smoke on this flight do you think?" Starbuck looked around to spot a no- smoking sign of some kind. There weren't any so he dug into the pocket of his sexy-as-hell Jim Morrison leather trousers and pulled out a pack of mini-fumarellos. Starbuck hated to smoke the normal- sized ones. They looked like pieces of felgercarb. Those babies weren't elegant. And elegant was exactly what Starbuck wanted to be the most of all. Elegantly wasted. "So...err...Apollo." Starbuck lit the fumarello, took it out of his mouth, watched the smoke curling, then turned to give a smile to the dark-haired man. "What do you want to do when we get to your quarters?" "Mmmmm...." Apollo heart jumped. Maybe he shouldn't have done this... "Any jealous girlfriend or boyfriend I should perhaps be worried about?" Apollo managed a little laugh. "No..." "Good." Starbuck smiled. "What about your roommate? Did you spot him in the lounge as we left?" "Err... yes..." "Perfect." Starbuck put the fumie back in between his lips and inhaled enjoyably. "I hate it when someone barges in right in the middle of it." Another thump. Apollo was worried that his heart might soon jump out of his mouth. Okay. No more denying that anything sexual would not happen when they got to the quarters. And as much as it excited Apollo, it freaked him out a lot more... "It's bloody huge!" Starbuck eyed the approaching battlestar. "Y'know. This is the first time I'm actually setting foot on that baby..." "Mmmm..." "If I didn't think you'd have quite a body underneath that idiotic uniform, I would never have left the Star with you." Starbuck kept mumbling. "I'm a sworn pacifist!" There was a violent jolt as the shuttle touched down. Starbuck took his arm off from around Apollo and stretched. Apollo was so nervous he kept pretending to be watching out of the window. * * * They didn't talk at all during the time the shuttle took when rolling to its position in the landing bay, nor did they exchange a word when they were following the slowly-moving stream of tired passengers to the bay elevators. All the way down the corridors to Apollo's military pad they kept quiet until Starbuck started mumbling something about how fracking depressing everything on this damn ship looked. Even the room they now entered was the same blunt metallic colour as the corridor outside. Starbuck's eyes lingered to the narrow bunk next to one of the metallic walls. Apollo noticed the direction on Starbuck's gaze and misunderstood it for an urge to get things on. "That yours? Starbuck glanced at the man. "Yes..." Apollo swallowed. "What a piece of felgercarb!" Starbuck exclaimed. "No wonder you don't get lucky that often honey!" "What?" Apollo almost choked and started coughing. Starbuck grinned. "Don't get me wrong buddy," he smirked, "but you don't exactly seem like a guy who gets it more than once a yahren." Apollo's face turned bright red. How the hell could Starbuck manage to see through... through what? That he didn't have a life? That he was behaving just as casually as a lamp-post... Apollo started avoiding Starbuck's eyes. "You know man," Starbuck studied the room and then looked back at Apollo. "Are you sure you wanna do this, I mean, I don't wanna force you into anything you don't wanna do..." Apollo didn't find words. His gaze lingered to the floor. "Hey, it's not a bad thing!" Starbuck eyed Apollo, this time actually intrigued, though still hazily. "It's just that I don't get to meet many people like you..." "Ummm... Like what?" "...Innocent... kinda," Starbuck smirked. "Hey, you got somethin' to drink in this place?" "Ummm... yeah..." Apollo was trying to remember what there was in the cupboard. At this point he could hardly remember his own name. "Sure..." "You mind if I pour something for myself?" Starbuck turned and started making his way to the kitchenette. Apollo's eyes followed him starting to open the cupboard doors, looking for a glass and a bottle. Starbuck spotted a half-empty bottle of grog and took it. "You want some?" He turned to give Apollo a glance. "Sure." "I suppose you don't happen to have any harder stuff lying around, have ya..." "Harder stuff? Ummm, no..." "Shame." Starbuck was concentrating on pouring the grog into two glasses. He put the bottle back in the cupboard, took the glasses and walked to Apollo. Without saying anything Apollo took the glass Starbuck handed to him and immediately took a sip. Jeeez, he'd need a dozen barrels at least to calm himself down... "So?" Starbuck's amused eyes studied Apollo. "So... errr, what?" "What kinds of things do you like?..." Apollo didn't understand. He stared at blond man's face. "What kinds of things?..." "Yeah, you want me to take you or..." This time it was obvious what the man was meaning. Apollo felt all blood disappearing from his lips. "I...don't..." Starbuck's eyes lingered on Apollo for a long long time. Neither of the men spoke. Apollo was fidgeting. Then Starbuck gave a grin, took Apollo's glass and put both of the glasses down onto a table. He reached out and pulled Apollo close. Apollo felt that lean, strong body pressing against his own. A hundred thousand lightnings struck through him, leaving him so completely dazed. Everything around him disappeared. God he was nervous. Starbuck slowly brought his lips closer and closer until they touched Apollo's. First softly, then more demandingly, making Apollo tremble. He had no idea how to reply to that kiss although he had been kissed a number of times before. His whole body was painfully tense. Apollo was so afraid to give in to his urge to touch the blond man, to caress him... Oh god! Apollo felt the blond man's tongue forcing its way into his mouth. He couldn't help it, his dick popped up. The kiss was burning like solium fire. Starbuck's hands were making their way towards Apollo crotch, then finding what they were looking for and starting to caress his genitals. Apollo felt like he was going to explode any micron. A sigh left his lips. Starbuck's hand moved away, making Apollo moan with disappointment. Leaving his cock painfully throbbing, yearning... The blond man started fighting with the buttons of Appy's tunic. It seemed to take forever to get the damn thing open. Apollo wanted to just rip the damn tunic off. Slowly, eternities later, the buttons opened and Starbuck's hands found Apollo's nipples, starting to caress them at the same time as his lips and tongue were playing with his mouth, increasing Apollo's desire... Starbuck's lips started moving downwards, along the neck, the chest, the nipples... Taking one at a time into the mouth and softly biting, teasing, licking... Apollo's hands kept moving on Starbuck's back, wanting so much to touch the cock that was surely hard as rock by now. Damn him for being so shy! Starbuck's lips were moving downwards now... His fingers opening the buttons of Apollo's trousers that were feeling so painfully tight. Oh god! Sweet freedom! Apollo's dick popped out of its polyesteric prison and entered into something warm and moist that felt like heaven. It was Starbuck's mouth. Uncharasterically for himself, Apollo couldn't hold back any longer. With a groan of pleasure he came into the mouth of the blond man... When it was all over, when everything was still feeling pleasant and dizzy, Apollo continued to keep his eyes closed. Mainly because he was afraid to meet the eyes of the blond man. Right then, a stroke of excruciating pain shot through his body making Apollo cry out. Indifferent to the agony he was causing the other man, Starbuck kept thrusting his way deeper into Apollo, his movements becoming more and more demanding... Apollo couldn't stop the crying out loud, he had never felt this kind of pain before. Not even when he had been beaten by some bigger guys in senior instructional period. And when the first strike came, it was completely from out of the blue. Starbuck clenched his teeth together and started hitting Apollo again, and again... Harder! The man seemed to be completely deaf for Apollo's desperate yelling. The strikes seemed to grow harder and harder the more excited Starbuck got. Apollo had to fight to remain conscious. He so desperately kept praying for Starbuck to stop the hitting but it was no use at all. The pain seemed to last forever, until with a couple of violent thrusts later, the blond man finally emptied himself into Apollo and then pulled his dick out. Apollo still couldn't stop crying. He couldn't stop feeling violated. Then. A moment of silence. A moment of devastation. Starbuck buttoned up his trousers and ran his fingers through his hair. There was little perspire gleaming on the guy's forehead and an indifferent grin frozen on the lips. Apollo continued to keep his eyes closed. He didn't even make a move to try to get up from the floor. "You were great buddy." Starbuck grinned, kneeling down beside Apollo and touching his face gently. Apollo shuddered. "You wanna go back to Star and grab a couple of drinks or a shot of..." "I would like to be alone if you don't mind." Apollo peeped, hardly audible. "Please, would you just go..." "What's the matter hon?" Starbuck raised one eyebrow. "You came didn't you?..." Apollo didn't answer. He wanted to let out the sob that was strangling his throat but he didn't. He couldn't cry any more. "Oh what the heck." Starbuck shrugged and stood up. "...But you know you really are passing a hell of a possibility to shoot up some bloody good stuff back at my quarters. I've still got some that pure heroin left..." "Please, just go." Apollo whispered, still not looking at Starbuck. He tried not to hear the blond man's footsteps as they walked to the door. Perhaps if he didn't hear the footsteps Apollo could pretend that the man had never been there... "Oh, by the way..." Starbuck stopped as he remembered something. "You better go and have a doctor's check-up you know. Just in case... You see... I was diagnosed HIV positive just last sectar." Starbuck paused to taste his own words in his mouth while eyeing the unmoving limp that was Apollo on the floor. "...It's the dirty needles man. What can you do..." A shrug. Without saying anything more Starbuck opened the door and walked out. It wasn't until the sound of the door closing echoed in the brim quarters when Apollo finally moved. He got up, walked to the bed and sat down. There, alone and vulnerable in the fluorescent lit room, he buried his hands into his palms and surrendered to the silent desperation that would never go away. The End * * * * * *