Title: Monkeys And Men Author: Betty Rating: NC-17 for sex and violence Category: Slash Disclaimer: I don't own them. Distribution: Please let me know where. Feedback: er.br@sympatico.ca Summary: Strange things happen to Starbuck and Apollo while they help gather food on a strange planet. Who is doing it and why? ***** The Galactica was spending a few sectons orbiting the planet Calyso. There was so much food to harvest, they would be able to feed the fleet for a yahren. They were also taking some fruit trees and transplanting them onto the Agro ship for later use. Apollo and Starbuck had been sent to a small tropical island out in the ocean to gather fruit. The place was a tropical paradise. The island had soft sandy beaches, and was thick with coconut and banana forests. The two spent the morning picking fruit, but by the time mid day rolled around it was to hot to work anymore. They decided to go skinny dipping to cool off. The water was warm, but not to warm that it was no longer refreshing. Soon the two were splashing around the water like a couple of little kids. Starbuck grabbed Apollo and gave him a big wet slobbery kiss and then said, "Last one to shore is the bottom." They raced to shore, but Apollo did not try too hard to get there first. He enjoyed being the bottom, and wondered what game Starbuck had in store for him. On the shore, Starbuck had a blanket spread out with coconuts holding down the corners. "Well Captain, looks like you lost." "Oh, if you think so Lieutenant, but I think I may have won." "Well, me thinks the Captain likes to be dominated!" "Could be. And just what does my domineering Lieutenant have in store for me?" "No no, Captain. That would be telling. Now get down here, so I can dominate that lovely body of yours." Starbuck ordered him. As Apollo got down on his hands and knees he noticed that Starbuck had placed bowls of fruit around the blanket. 'Oh my, just what does he have in store for me?' Apollo thought to himself as Starbuck blindfolded him. Starbuck then ordered Apollo to lay down and put his hand behind his back. When he did this Starbuck tied his wrists together and rolled him over onto his back. "Ah, Starbuck, what are going to do to me?" "Quiet, no talking or I will have to gag you as well." Starbuck then took a bowl full of crushed watermelon and slowly spread it all over Apollo's chest. He then proceeded to very slowly lick it all off. He soon had Apollo moaning. Grinning, he next spread mashed bananas over and around each of Apollo's nipples, causing Apollo to whimper, wondering what Starbuck was putting on him. Again Starbuck licked the banana off. He did the same with some peaches, pears and cherries. By this time Apollo was quivering with desire and begging Starbuck for more. So Starbuck spread mashed banana over Apollo's rock hard cock and then cleaned it off from base to tip, but never taking Apollo into his mouth. Starbuck was going to make him beg for that. "Do you want more Captain?" "YES, please Starbuck. Suck me please. I want more!" "Not yet Captain. You don't want it bad enough yet." "YES I DO, please, this is torture." "Oh, Captain. You haven't been tortured yet." Starbuck then took a coconut. Punched three holes in it and poured the coconut milk over Apollo's balls, causing Apollo to gasp. Starbuck then lapped at the coconut milk. Now Apollo's moans had become constant, and he started begging Starbuck to please suck him off. Apollo knew if he begged loud and long enough Starbuck would do what he wanted, but oh, it was taking so long. Starbuck sat up and looked down at his trapped lover. Yes, he had Apollo right were he wanted him, and in the state he wanted. Laying there begging, tied up and unable to use his hands to even try and relieve some of the tension. Apollo couldn't take it anymore. He was so hot and turned on. "Starbuck please. Suck me, fuck me, do whatever you want to me, I don't care just don't stop!!!" "Oh, you want more Captain? Well maybe I should do this." Starbuck then spread mashed banana all over Apollo, including his very hard, very aroused cock. As Starbuck bent down and started to slowly lick away the banana he heard a sound from the banana forest. Looking up he saw a chimpanzee standing there. Looking around he saw about a dozen more. Suddenly they started coming towards the two warriors. "What the frak?" Starbuck said. "What? Whats wrong? Why did you stop?" Removing Apollo's blindfold Starbuck showed him the chimps. "What do you think they want?" Starbuck asked Apollo. "I don't know, throw them the fruit." Starbuck threw the bowls of fruit at the chimps, but it didn't do any good. They still kept coming. Suddenly the four biggest chimps ran up and, before Starbuck could do anything, they grabbed Apollo and carried him off into the forest. "STARBUCK! HELP ME!" Apollo screamed. "APOLLO!" Starbuck started throwing coconuts at the chimps. "LET HIM GO! GET AWAY! APOLLO, I`M COMING, I`LL SAVE YOU, DON`T WORRY!" As the chimps disappeared with Apollo, Starbuck was left standing there wondering how he was going to get the man he loved away from a bunch of crazy apes. After Starbuck had dressed and checked that his laser was on high stun, he followed the tracks that the chimps had left. Every once in a while he could hear Apollo yelling at them and calling for him. He did not want to give his position away to the crazed animals, for fear of what they would do. Chimps could be pretty strong when threatened. So he quietly followed the trail of broken branches. Alone with the chimps, his hands still tied behind his back Apollo was more scared than he had ever been in his life. Every once in a while a chimp would come up to him, run it's fingers over him and lick the banana off it's fingers. 'I guess the smell of the banana must be what brought them to the beach.' He said to himself. But each time they did this he would still yell at them, "GET AWAY, LEAVE ME ALONE!" and even though he knew Starbuck would remain quiet while trying to find him, he still knew he had a better chance if Apollo let him know what direction to take. So he kept shouting out, "STARBUCK, OVER THIS WAY, STARBUCK!" Starbuck could hear Apollo's shouts getting louder by the centon. "Oh, how did this game turn out so wrong?" He asked himself. He couldn't figure it out. The scans of the island hadn't shown any animal life at all, so where did these damn chimps come from? Suddenly up ahead he saw Apollo leaning up against a tree, surrounded by chimps. He could see his lover kicking at them, and heard his cries, "Get away, get away," as one got brave enough to try and lick at the banana that was still covering him. Being careful he did not hit Apollo, Starbuck shot at the apes, stunning them. He then ran up, untied Apollo and helped him to his feet. "Lords, Starbuck, am I ever glad to see you. I think those things would have eaten me alive." Apollo said as they hugged. "I don't think so, Apollo. I'm pretty sure chimps don't eat meat." "Yeah, well I would rather not find out. Lets get out of here, onto our shuttle and off this island." On their way back to the shuttle Starbuck reminded Apollo about the scans showing that there was no animal life on the island. "So how do you think they got here?" Apollo asked. "I don't Apollo. But it's a sure bet someone or something helped them get here after we landed." Apollo knew Starbuck was right. But who would do such a thing? And how did they do it. The other islands in the area had animal life, but they were too far away for the chimps to swim. If chimps could swim, so they must have had help getting here. ***** On another island, about 1/2 mile away, Lt. Sheba looked through her binoculars and laughed. She had watched as Starbuck and Apollo played their little game with the fruit. Seeing those chimps arrive and carry Apollo off had to have been the funniest sight she had ever seen. Too bad it was Apollo they took off with, and too bad Starbuck had found him. She was hoping they would carry off Starbuck. But there were other ways to get rid of him. So what if her idea of the chimps didn't work. She would think of something else, and when they left this planet to continue on their journey, the Galactica would be less one Lieutenant. Lt. Sheba. The daughter of Commander Cain. She could be your best friend. Or your worst nightmare. At this particular time she was Lt. Starbuck's worst nightmare. Sheba was not very happy about her trick with the chimps not working. Well, there was more than one type of ape on this planet. Time to put plan B into action. ***** After their horrific experience on the island, Apollo and Starbuck were then sent to another area of the planet. Before landing, they scanned the area three times, to make sure there we no chimps, or any other animal that even resembled chimps in any way, shape or form. The last thing Apollo wanted was a repeat of the chimp incident, once was scary enough. When they finally did land Starbuck even scouted around on foot, laser drawn, just to make sure. He wasn't taking any chances. They unloaded the shuttle of baskets, ladders, and boxes. Everything they needed for picking fruit, and decided to start on the apple trees. "You know Starbuck, I think this climate is too cool for apes to survive in anyway. So there would be no reason why any would be here." "Yeah, I know. But I still didn't want to take any chances." "Well, maybe tonight we can finish that game we started." "I have no bananas Apollo, and these apples are not the kind of fruit that mash up to easily, you have to cook 'em first." "OUCH, hot applesauce, now that would hurt!" Now the two of them kept up this kinda talk for the whole day. It made the picking go faster, but it also got them both turned on. Really turned on. So that after they had finished their evening meal, neither one of them could keep their hands off each other, and they decided to head into bed. The bed being in the shuttle, not in the tent which had been set up as a decoy. Much to Starbuck's surprise, Apollo had brought alone a bag of toys. Looking inside he found two pairs of hand cuffs, two ankle restraints, nipple clamps, vibrators, three sizes of butt plugs, one blindfold, one ball gag, candles, and this he could not believe, a little whip, a paddle, and a strap. "APOLLO, I didn't know you could be so kinky! But I like it." "Yeah well, I am full of surprises, I just wish the spreader bar would have fit in the bag." Starbuck stared at Apollo, "Spreader bar? You are kinky!" Anyway, soon Starbuck had Apollo on his stomach, handcuffed to the bed, blindfolded, he wasn't ready for the gag yet. Besides, he liked to hear Apollo beg. Slowly he was kissing, licking and sucking his way down Apollo's strong muscular back. Stopping just shy of Apollo's butt crack, causing Apollo to moan in disappointment. Starbuck chuckled, "You want something down there Apollo?" "Oh, yes please." Apollo moaned. "OK, lets see what you got in the bag." Starbuck pulled the small butt plug out of the bag and covered it with lots of lube. He then gently, and slowly started to tease Apollo's hole with the plug, until Apollo was moaning and begging Starbuck to "Please put it in me." Suddenly Apollo heard Starbuck strike a match, and thought to himself, 'Oh great, he's going to smoke one of his cigars while I'm laying here all hot and horny, wanting him'. But thats not what Starbuck was doing, as Apollo found out when the first drips of hot wax landed on his butt. He jumped from the pain but moaned from the pleasure, and soon was quivering with desire and lust. He loved it when Starbuck dominated him this way. He got even more turned on when he felt the slap from Starbucks hand. "You like that Captain? You like to be spanked? I could use one of those toys to spank you, but then my hand would feel lonely. You wouldn't want my hand to be lonely would you Captain?" "No, no, Lieutenant, I wouldn't." Apollo moaned. Starbuck spanked Apollo a few more times, and then removed the butt plug and replaced it with his well lubed fingers. After a few centons, the fingers were replaced with his cock. He started thrusting slowly, wanting to saver the moment. But Apollo was begging him, "Please faster, harder." So Starbuck sped up, and reaching under Apollo he took a hold of Apollo's cock and started pumping him with the same speed and rhythm as he was thrusting. Apollo could feel his orgasm building and he screamed Starbuck's name as he came. A few centons latter Starbuck came, also screaming his lovers name. As soon as they had calmed down from their orgasms, Starbuck unlocked Apollo's cuffs and removed the blindfold. Apollo turned over and they both enjoyed a big long kiss. "That was incredible Lieutenant." "Happy you enjoyed it Captain, but next time I want to be the bottom, it's not fair you being the bottom all the time. I don't understand Apollo. Why don't you enjoy being the top?" "Starbuck, all day I am in command of the squadrons, and the teams on the ground. The only people who are in command of me are my father and the Colonel. So when I'm with you, it's nice to have someone else in charge for a change. Do you understand?" "Yes, I think I do. So I guess I have to order you to put that lovely cock of yours into me." "Yep, looks like it. That just might be fun." Starbuck was about to answer Apollo, but then they heard a low growl type sound. Well it sounded like a growl. They sat up and looked out the window. Outside, over by the tent they could see some large animals moving. The seemed to be able to rise up on their hind legs, but when they moved around they did use their front legs to help. Together they slowly moved up to the front of the shuttle and turned on the search lights and were soon looking into the faces of some very large gorillas. From a hillside overlooking the apple orchard, Lt. Sheba watched the gorillas tear up Starbuck and Apollo's camp. The only thing upsetting her was the fact that they had decided to sleep in the shuttle. Well boys, I am sure these animals will put a scare into you. By now they must be thinking every wild ape on this planet was out to get them. Time to pull plan C. Inside the shuttle, Apollo and Starbuck sat and watched the gorillas. "You know Apollo I am beginning to believe that someone is out to get us." "Yes, but who? And why?" "How are we ever going to find out?" "There IS a way to find out." Apollo told Starbuck his plan. "Since no one but us is in this sector of the planet, we are the only one's who know about this besides the person who did it, so we don't say anything about this. The shuttle is full, we cant put so much as one more basket of fruit in here. We go back to the Galactica, tell only my father and Colonel Tigh about this, and then we see what happens. I'm betting the culprit of this little 'joke' will soon slip up and give themselves away." "Now thats why you're a captain and I'm just a lowly lieutenant. You are good at those devious plans." "Yeah, right. I learned how to be devious from you. Come on lets get some sleep." ***** Sheba went back to her shuttle and looked at the little whistle she had gotten from Hector on the livestock ship. Before the destruction of the colonies, Hector had been in charge of the apes at the Caprican zoo. He knew everything there was to know about them, and was more than willing to help her get Lt. Starbuck. Seems Hector had a crush on the brash lieutenant, but Starbuck never noticed him. His eyes were only on Apollo. He told her which settings called what apes, just turn the dial and blow the whistle and the apes would come. It was perfect. She got them loaded in the shuttle, flew to where Apollo and Starbuck were, got out, blew the whistle and then the apes came off the shuttle. Perfect plan. Now to find out where the two would be tomorrow. ***** Early next morning the two awoke to find the gorillas still outside. Well, they didn't need to go back out, and there didn't look to be anything worth salvaging from the camp. They left for the Galactica, and as soon as they landed headed straight for the Commander to tell him about what was happening, and inform him of their plan. Adama was not too happy with the plan, but it was the best they had. He did put some conditions on it. "You take Lt. Boomer with you. Three are more protection than two, and I know for a fact Boomer would never do anything like this to the two of you. I also want you to sleep only in the shuttle, the three of you stick together, no sneaking off to the bushes for a little R&R, understand?" "Yes Sir." They both replied together. "Good. Now Boomer is in the landing bay unloading his shuttle, I will inform him of the change in orders. You two will tell why AFTER you have taken off." ***** Once the shuttle was launched, Apollo filled Boomer in on what was going on. "I don't understand it. Those animals can be dangerous if they think their threatened. Why would anyone fool around with them like that? And wild ones," Boomer just shook his head, "That's just plain crazy." They landed in the mango orchard and set up their gear for picking, and waited. All three men wondering what kind of ape was coming after them this time, and who was behind it. ***** Sheba looked down at the group of apes. Hector had told her to be extra careful around these ones. Out the ape family they were the most vicious, they could rip a man in two. Looking at them she found that hard to believe. The jumped from tree to tree like the chimps, they groomed each other, like the gorillas. In fact she didn't see anything to indicate that they were vicious. Sheba forgot, looks can be deceiving. ***** In the mango orchard Apollo, Starbuck and Boomer had taken a break. It wasn't even mid day yet, and it was getting hot. They had already removed their shirts, now Boomer was contemplating removing his pants as well. Picking mangos under the hot sun in nothing but his boxers, sounded better than wearing these heavy pants. Colonial Warrior uniforms were not made for picking fruit under the hot sun. "I'm taking my pants off." He informed the other two. "Why Boom-Boom?" Starbuck asked him, "You want to scare us?" "Very funny, it's hot, I'm tired, and I'm getting' cranky." "Boomer, Starbuck, stop it." Apollo ordered, "Why don't we just quit for now. We can pick again latter this evening, when it's cooled down a bit." "Yeah, yeah, that sounds better." Boomer nodded. "Yeah and that way, Boomer keeps his pants on." Starbuck laughed. Apollo just shook his head and laughed. ***** On the other side of the planet, Colonel Tigh had come down to check on Bojay's team. The first person he saw was Lt. Sheba. "Colonel Tigh, good to see you. We are almost done here Sir." "Glad to hear that. When you're done I will need you people to go over to the apple orchard and finish up there." "Oh, I heard what happened to Apollo and Starbuck, I hope their okay. I trust the gorillas are gone." The Colonel looked at Sheba. 'Now how did she know, Adama and I are the only ones Apollo and Starbuck told, aside from Boomer, and we know he didn't do it.' He thought to himself. Out loud he said, "Apollo and Starbuck are fine, we sent them to another part of the planet to pick. And yes the gorillas are gone, as mysteriously as they appeared." "Glad to hear that. Where did Starbuck and Apollo go?" Tigh wasn't sure he should say anything, if she was the one, she would do it again. He decided to lie, and thus catch her in her dangerous game. "We sent them back to the island. The chimps are gone from there as well, so we assume it's safe." "Oh, thats good." Sheba walked away, planning her next move. She didn't notice the Colonel go into the shuttle to contact Adama and tell him what he had just discovered. ***** Adama was shocked. Sheba. Why would Sheba do such a thing? Then he remembered. Sheba had her eye on Apollo as soon as her father's Battlestar went missing. When she was on the Pegasus she was dating Bojay, it's highest ranking officer. Once they were trapped here, she went after Apollo, the Galactica`s highest ranking officer, who also outranked Bojay. Could Sheba be so shallow that she only wanted a man for his rank. And if that man had no interest in her, would she do something to endanger not only his life but the life of the person he was interested in. "Tigh, I want you to keep Lt. Sheba in your sights at all times. Don't let her go anywhere alone." "Understood Commander." He contacted Apollo and told him Tigh`s findings. Apollo couldn't believe it either. Sheba, do something as stupid as this, just because he wasn't interested in her. 'What a bitch.' he thought. ***** Latter that evening Sheba tiptoed through the camp, to the shuttle she had hidden on the other side of the forest. 'I'm afraid I will have to leave this shuttle behind when we leave, it stinks'. She was unaware that she was being followed, but Tigh kept a close eye on her, and saw her enter the shuttle. Running through the camp, he quickly woke Jolly and Greenbean, and the three of them followed Sheba in the other shuttle. Sheba landed at the spot were the next set of apes were. This was it. The meanest ape you could find. She was sure these animals would rid her of Starbuck once and for all. Then Apollo would be hers. She would comfort him in his moment of despair, and soon after that she would make him forget that Starbuck had ever existed. She would be the wife of a Captain. A Captain who would some day be the Commander of a Battlestar. Her father had taught her that power was everything, and there was power in being a Commander's wife. Of course she would have to get rid of the kid as well, no way some other women's brat was going to take away anything from a child she might have. But there was time for that, after she was sealed to Apollo. Kids were always having accidents, often fatal ones. ***** Colonel Tigh had Jolly and Greenbean fly the shuttle just out of the other shuttles scanning range, he did not want Sheba to know they were following her until it was to late. "Make sure your lasers are on stun. No matter what Sheba has done, our laws say she must have a fair hearing." Neither Jolly nor Greenbean wanted to just stun her, they both wanted revenge for what she had done to their friends. They could not believe what Tigh had told them. How could that bitch to that to their friends? She wasn't even a real Galactica warrior, she was from the Pegasus, too bad she hadn't stayed there. ***** Sheba opened the cargo bay of the shuttle and turned the dial to Baboon, the meanest ,most vicious, ape there ever was. She blew into the whistle and waited. Shortly one baboon showed, then another. Soon the whole baboon colony was at the shuttle, looking at her. 'Whats wrong with these stupid animals, the chimps and gorillas just walked onto the shuttle. Oh!! I guess I'm going to have to go inside and blow the damn whistle.' Before she could enter the shuttle, the Colonel's shuttle landed only ten yards away. The noise from the engines, and the sand they swept up, stirred the baboons into a frenzy. They quickly started fighting and biting each other. Fur and blood was flying everywhere. Sheba saw first hand just what these animals were like when they felt threatened. Thinking it would calm them down she blew into the whistle. All this did was turn their attention from each other, to Sheba. As Colonel Tigh and the two Lt.s started to step out of the shuttle, with weapons drawn, the Colonel ordered them back inside. The baboons were literary ripping Sheba apart. Two sectons later the warriors and ground teams were finished picking the fruit. Boomer had gotten to pick mangos in his boxers, but only after Apollo had realized he was right, it was to hot to pick in their heavy pants. Starbuck surprised Apollo by running up to his tree naked, thus turning Apollo on so badly they had to go into the bushes for, as Adama called it, a little R&R. All the apes were back where they belonged, and the fleet had enough food, water and fuel to last for the next yahren. As the Galactica left the planet Calypso behind they did so just as Sheba had predicted. "Short one Lieutenant." The End