Jolly Joker

	By Jen Lmr

	Date: Jan 2001
	Fandom: Battlestar Galactica
	Rating: PG

	Summary: Jolly gets even.


	"Out of the way, Tubby!" Sheba pushed her way roughly past Jolly in the
	corridor.

	"What's her problem?" Jolly wondered aloud to his companion.

	"You'd be in a foul mood to if you never got laid," Ensign Bobbett
	snickered nastily.

	"Can't argue with that. Who'd be crazy enough to put their pecker
	anywhere near that barracuda?"

	"Not me. Just the thought of it makes me cringe," Bobbett shuddered.

	"Want to go have a couple of brews down at the OC?"

	"Nah. I better not. Lorena will have my balls if I'm late getting home."

	"I don't envy you if you make her mad," Jolly shuddered. "See you
	tomorrow."

	"See ya."

	*****

	Jolly whistled happily to himself as he entered the OC. He headed over to
	a table of his friends, then stumbled and fell face first onto the floor.

	"Watch where you're going, Fatso," Sheba sneered, pulling her foot back
	from where she had stuck it out in the aisle.

	Jolly picked himself up and shot her a dirty look, then went over to join
	his friends.

	Sheba called after him, "What's the matter, Lardo? I thought fat people
	were supposed to be *jolly*?"

	Jolly tried to ignore her nasty comments but before he'd even finished
	his first drink he found that his good mood had evaporated. He decided he
	may as well just call it a night and headed back to the barracks.

	"Where are you going? Is it feeding time somewhere on one of the ships?"
	Sheba jeered at him on the way out the door.

	*****

	The next day when he returned from patrol he was annoyed to find that
	Sheba was in the landing bay getting ready to go out on patrol. He
	hurriedly began his post-flight checks hoping she wouldn't notice him.

	"Aren't there regulations on the *size* of our pilots? How does he even
	fit in a viper?" Sheba scoffed to Bojay.

	Jolly gritted his teeth and tried to ignore her.
	
	"Do you have to use a special hydraulics system to keep his viper from
	scraping against the floor of the flight deck?" she called to one of the
	techs.

	"Sheba, why don't you just...just shut up!" Jolly fumed.

	"Aw, is Ensign Piggy getting upset?" Sheba laughed. "Oh, look how red
	Blubber-butt's face is getting. Or is that his butt I'm looking at? It's
	so hard to tell."

	Jolly angrily stormed past her out of the landing bay.

	"See you later, Wide-load," Sheba snickered.

	*****

	Later that night, Jolly was sitting with friend's in the OC when Sheba
	walked in. She took one look at him and called out, "Careful you don't
	break the chair, Two-ton!"

	"I have really had it with that...that...aaarrrrgggghhhh," Jolly grumbled
	to his friend's.

	"You know, I have an idea how you could get even with her if you're
	interested," Ensign Stuman whispered conspiratorially.

	"I'm interested. I'm interested!"

	The table of men put their heads together, speaking in low tones amongst
	themselves. Soon after, they had devised their plan. Jolly looked over to
	Sheba and smiled.

	"What are you looking at, Large-load?" Sheba snapped at him.

	Jolly gave her a withering look, "Nothing. Absolutely nothing."

	"Hmph! Then see if you can turn that huge face of yours back around
	then," Sheba snapped.

	"I'll see if I can manage it," Jolly said pleasantly.

	A few moments later Ensign Bobo got up from their table and sidled up to
	the bar. On his way back to the table he brushed past where Sheba was
	sitting and smiled winningly at her. Sheba just glared back.

	Soon, Sheba found herself growing sleepy and decided that she better go
	back to her quarters and get some rest.

	The table of men Jolly was sitting with all smiled knowingly at each
	other and left the OC soon after her.

	*****

	Inside Sheba's quarter's, the three men stood over the sleeping form.

	"You're sure she won't wake up?" Jolly whispered nervously.

	"Positive," Ensign Bobo assured him.

	Ensign Stuman just grinned evilly.

	*****

	The next day an extremely angry Sheba stomped into the landing bay to the
	sound of laughter and jeers.

	Jolly brushed past her on his way out and smirked, "Out of my way,
	Baldy."


	The End