Home Sweet Home By Stu Lmr (stuart@jnrhome.com) Disclaimer: My wife made me do this. "These patrols are boring," Apollo said to Starbuck. Starbuck replied, "You said a mouthful." "Don't tease me. It's too long of a mission." "I was just thinking... wait a centon, do you see what I see?" Starbuck asked. "Yeah, I do, what is it?" "Looks like a black hole. My scanners won't penetrate it." "There you go again." "I'm serious. Let's check it out." Both vipers turbo-boosted into the black hole. As they disappeared, two black vipers exited the black hole. "I can't see anything in here," Apollo said. "It's blacker than that Cirillian roast you tried to cook the other day." "Very funny," Apollo replied. "I see light ahead," said Starbuck. "Let's check it out." The two vipers exited the black hole. "That was strange. We went through that thing but we seemed to come out in the same place," Apollo said. "I'm picking up the Galactica's locator beacon. "Well, its almost time to go off shift, so let's head back." Upon arriving at the 'Galactica', neither of the boys noticed the subtle differences in the ship. Upon landing and after decon, they were ordered to report to Commander Adama in the pilots briefing room. As they enter, the only person in there is a strikingly beautiful older woman. She rises to her feet, stretches out her arms and announces, "Apollo, my darling, welcome back." Apollo and Starbuck exchange confused glances. "Excuse me, Ma'am. We're here to see Commander Adama. We'll wait outside until you're finished." "Not funny Captain, I don't have all day, Col. Tigh is waiting for me on the bridge. Now report!" Starbuck nudges Apollo and whispers, "Look at her name tag!" Apollo does, and to his astonishment sees "ADAMA" on the tag, he takes a closer look at the woman and realizes with shock that she is an older version of his mother. Apollo stammers, "I... I... I..." Starbuck, who noticed the name tag and resemblance cut in, "Commander, you'll have to excuse Apollo, he hit his head getting out of the viper, I really should take him to the life center. Would it be alright if we gave you our report later?" "Very well, report to me on the bridge after he's been checked out," she stated. After the "Commander" left, Apollo turned to Starbuck and exclaimed, "What the frack is going on!!?" "I'm not sure replied Starbuck, but I'll bet you a blow job it has something to do with that black hole we went through." Apollo, looking dazed said, "Starbuck, that was my mother! This can't be, my mother died when the Cylons attacked Caprica." "I know, said Starbuck, but the fact is you just talked to her, give me some time to figure this out, till then just act natural." "Damn my head hurts," Apollo said. "Good, now we won't be wasting the doctors time," replied Starbuck. "Let's go." On their way to the life center a beautiful blonde approached. Apollo did a double-take. "Athena, your hair!" he exclaimed. "What about it?" Athena snapped. Starbuck nudged him. "It... ah... looks nice," Apollo stammered. "Whatever," she replied. "Starbuck, we have to get out of here this place is too weird," said Apollo. "Not yet," Starbuck said. "This could be interesting." After getting checked out at the life center the boys went to the Officers club to see what else was out of whack. Upon entering, a voice called, "There you two are, we were beginning to worry about you." They turned to see an unfamiliar warrior approaching. Apollo looked at Starbuck. Starbuck whispered, "Nametag." Apollo looked at the nametag and his jaw dropped. "Uhhh, Hey Boomer, what's going on? Apollo said. "Not much," Boomer replied. "How was patrol?" "Alright I guess," Apollo said. "But I could really use a drink." "Me too!!" said Starbuck. "I'll get them," Boomer said. Apollo looked at Starbuck and whispered. "A white Boomer?" Starbuck shrugged. Boomer returned with 2 glasses. Apollo and Starbuck each took one and sipped the liquid. Starbuck spit the liquid out, "What the frack? Boomer, we said a drink, not Java." "Starbuck, you know as well as anyone we haven't had anything stronger than java on the ship in over two yahrens." They both set down their glasses. Starbuck said to Boomer, "That's right, I forgot. Listen, we have to report to the commander anyway, we'll see you later." They left the OC and Starbuck turned to Apollo, "Nothing but java? I've seen enough, let's get out of here!!" They raced to their vipers and launched. Back in space Apollo said, "Starbuck, what is that place?" Starbuck replied, "I don't know for sure, but lets find that black hole and get back home!" A couple of centons later Starbuck said, "Pol, I was thinking, no ambrosia, that has to be HELL!" "Black hole dead ahead," Apollo said. The two vipers entered the black hole, at the same time two black vipers exited the hole. One centar later, the boys were walking into the OC, Starbuck saw Boomer, who was black again, and said, "Boomer, we got any Ambrosia?" Boomer replied, "Sure, unless you want some java." Starbuck sighed, "Home sweet home." Apollo said, "I'm exhausted, I'm gonna go lay down." Starbuck said, "I'll be there soon." Apollo went to his cabin and laid down. What seemed like centons later he felt Starbucks lips on his, Apollo opened his eyes and said, "That was quick." Starbuck said, "What do you mean? You've been sleeping for eight centars, we have to go on patrol. that must have been one hell of a dream you were having, you were tossing and turning all night. Apollo just stared at him.