| Jennifer's Diary November 2003 |
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| Wednesday, November 26, 2003 I am wounded!!! I broke a nail! ***whimper*** And, I JUST had them done yesterday! I did it on my desk trying to shift my computer monitor around. So, I asked my boss if the company would pay to have it redone. Well,...I did it performing my job duties! And, it hurts like crazy. See? (holds finger up to screen) Its actually bleeding a little! Well, not much. But some... Well, my boss just laughed and went back into his office. He doesn�t seem very sympathetic to my injury. ***pout*** Well guess who called last night. When Alissa was over watching tv with me. Yep, Mr. JennPotential from last Saturday night. At first I was excited that he called. Then, I noticed Alissa giving me dirty looks. So, when he asked me out for this weekend, I told him I still wasn�t ready to date because of my last breakup. Alissa smiled when I said that. Then, I told him to call me again in a few weeks if he wanted and maybe I would feel differently. Alissa gave me another dirty look. When I hung up, she started in trashing him. �He�s too old for me. He is a �player�. He probably has a girlfriend stashed away somewhere, so on and so on.� ***sigh*** But, I got a really, really good backrub out of the deal. No doubt as my reward for not going out with him. Alissa made me lay face down on the carpet and she straddled my waist and gave me a �toe-curling, drooling, mind numbing� backrub. Okay, maybe I came out ahead on the deal. There will always be other guys... I have all my fingers and toes crossed that my boss will close the office early today. Any time now would be good...I am SOOO ready for some time away. Have I mentioned what a good little worker I am? Yep. ***nods*** And, now I need my rest, thank you very much. Jenn *********************************************************************************** Tuesday, November 25, 2003 Alissa is SOOO possessive! We went out this weekend and as usual we had a bunch of guys hitting on us. Well, one guy was REALLY, REALLY cute! I mean he had MAJOR Jenn potential!!! We really had chemistry. I could tell he really liked me. ***smile*** So, I was paying a lot of attention to this guy. I mean, I was still WITH Alissa and paid her a lot of attention too. And, its not like she wasn�t getting major attention from the rest of the guys. She�s a magnet for cute guys! But, when we got home that night, she was obviously upset with me. I tried to talk to her but she mostly just closed me out. She said that she wasn�t mad that I was talking to the guy. But, that when I gave him my phone number, that was a major insult to her. ....***sigh*** HOW?!!! Its not like we have a �commitment� to each other. She dates guys all the time. But, as soon as I look at a guy, she gets all moody and pouts. Well, I can�t stand conflict at any level. So, I�ve been like crying and upset too. I don�t think I did anything wrong but my heart can�t take it when Alissa is mad at me. The guy hasn�t called yet so it may be all for nothing. He probably won�t call. That�s kinda the way my life runs. But, if he does....I don�t know what to do. I REALLY want to go out with him. But, I can�t take it when Alissa is mad at me. And, if I go out with this guy, she will probably be MAJORLY upset. So, what to do, what to do? Life in JennWorld as usual... I am now back 100% from the most worstest cold I have ever had. Yuck! I thought it would never go away! Alisa and I went for a run this Sunday. I felt pretty good actually. OMG! The weather was SOOO awesome! We along this trail that used to be a railroad track and its like in the middle of the wilderness. Without bad animals and people to worry about. At one point, I made Alissa stop with me and we just sat in grass beside the trail and soaked up the �wonderfulness�. Ummm.... The best part was I could breathe without coughing. A privilege I will never again take for granted. ***nods head*** Alissa is spending Thanksgiving with Mom and me. Mom, as usual, is cooking enough for the entire city. Even though it will only be the three of us. Actually, I am looking forward to it, like a lot. When I�m home, I regress to my childhood when life was simpler and I was the mostess loved little girl ever. I love to eat myself silly and then crawl into my old bed, in my old bedroom, snuggle down in amongst all my dolls and stuffed animals, and sleep, sleep, sleep. Ummm....Heaven! Well, even though I whine and complain a lot, I am a very lucky girl who has MUCH to be thankful for. So, I will think about all the good stuff in JennWorld and be like really appreciative. So, thank you God for being so good to me! Jenn ps. I have really been struggling about whether to post any more pics on my website but I am thinking about it. So, maybe over the holidays... ************************************************************************************ Tuesday, November 18, 2003 Why do guys think its okay to grab a girl�s bottom?! Alissa and I went out this weekend and it seemed like all the guys kept groping my backside! �All the guys� = a couple of guys. Okay, I shouldn�t get mad at all guys just because of the rude behavior of a couple. But, my bottom is practically bruised and that is so disrespectful! Guys, if you don�t know a girl, leave her bottom alone! ***Deep breath*** Okay, sorry about bitching. I�m still angry about it though. I know, �Get over it�. I SOOO need the Thanksgiving break. I am just a zombie lately. Not quite over my cold/flu, sick of work, no social life, no boyfriend, broke, and no future. At least I don�t feel sorry for myself though...**snicker*** Wanna know what I�m doing for the Thanksgiving holidays? You do? Okay, I�ll tell ya then. ...Nuttin�! Well, Alissa is joining me for Thanksgiving dinner at Mom�s. That part should be fun. The rest, I just wanna curl up in bed with nuttin� but my nose sticking out from under the covers and sleep. And pretend that everyone thinks I�m beautiful. And, that I have so much money I give it away to poor children in poor countries. And, that all I have to do for work is sign my monthly income check from my vast inheritance. And, that my only worry is that my new BMW still hasn�t been delivered. And, that my only relationship problem is with my servants. And that everyone wants my company so much that they rescheduled the Oscars so that I can attend. �Ladies and Gentlemen of the Academy, I want to thank you all for selflessly shifting all your schedules to enable me to attend tonight. The previously scheduled date conflicted with my viewing of the Bachelorette on TV and of course I could NOT miss that!� I have been coughing so much for so long, I don�t even ATTEMPT to be ladylike about it anymore. I �hack� like a construction worker who has smoked for twenty years. I suppose I will take up spitting next... Alissa and I stopped to eat at Waffle House last weekend on the way home from clubbing. We were talking to the waitress and she had so many problems(single mom, broke, two jobs, no education, etc) that Alissa and I each came up with ten dollars for a total of a twenty dollar tip. Which based on our tab of like seven dollars was a pretty generous tip. She was sooo happy, she teared up and hugged us both. That made Alissa and me very happy too. Aren�t we good girls?! Jenn *********************************************************************************** Friday November 14, 2003 It seems as though I may survive after all. Believe me, I wasn�t sure. Today, for the first time in several days, I actually feel better than the day before. I HATE being sick! I hardly ever get sick and when I do it just kicks my bottom. Today, I can swallow without cringing. It still hurts but not as bad. I can feel this HUGE swollen gland thingy on either side of my throat. It actually feels good to massage it. So, I�m sitting here at my desk rubbing my throat. Not very attractive but it feels good. I am sooo out of it, I have NO plans for this weekend. I THINK Alissa and I will be spending it together. But, I made her stay away this week so she wouldn�t get sick. And, I haven�t had the energy or interest to even THINK about having fun. So, not sure what I�m doing. As if THAT�S new... I probably should have gone to the doctor earlier this week. But, I�m 1) too cheap to pay the co-pay, 2) too broke to pay the co-pay(I DO have some really cute new shoes though) and 3) too chicken I may get a shot. Have I mentioned what a baby I am when it comes to needles? So, pay twenty bucks to get a shot and faint in the doctors office or new shoes? What would you do? Uh huh... For Thanksgiving, Alissa is coming with me to my Mom�s house. Isn�t that kewl?! Her family is gathering at her grandparents house and she didn�t want to make the trip. So, I invited her to spend it with me and Mom. Aren�t I a good friend?! Mom makes the most, bestest Thanksgiving dinners of all time!!!! She makes soooo much stuff. Have I mentioned that my Mom is the best cook of all Mom�s on earth?! Yep! She is! She does all the usual stuff. Turkey and dressing. But, she does this thing with green bean casserole, ummm..... and candid yams with brown sugar, ummmm...and this chutney thing, ummm...I don�t know if chutney is a word or not. That�s what Mom calls it. And, pumpkin pie with nut meg, whipped cream, and cinnamon, ummm...***drool*** I will look pregnant when I finish eating! ***snicker*** I wonder if Alissa will still love me if I get fat... I don�t think I will ever get fat. I have good genes. My mom is still the same weight she was when she was my age. So, that�s a good sign. And, my Dad was really thin too. Of course, the way I binge eating at times...You�ll still love me won�t ya diary?! Jenn *********************************************************************************** Wednesday Nov. 12, 2003 Hi Diary... I have been SOOOO sick!!! I have the WORST cold! I can�t stop coughing. And, my throat is just RAW! ***whimper*** I was out of work Monday and Tuesday and wish I were still at home today. I don�t feel good...***pout*** My Mom came over last night and brought me some soup. Ummm....My Mom is the best. Of course Alissa has been really sweet to me too. She calls to check on me and see if I need anything. Oooo, coffee feels good to my throat. Hang on...ummmm, that feels good. I look like �death warmed over�. My hair is a mess, my eyes are all red and swollen, and my lips are all cracked. ***whimper*** My head feels like it�s the size of a watermelon. I have this hacking cough like I�ve been smoking for twenty years. Even my tummy is sore from all the coughing. THAT�S a lot of coughing! I�ve been taking all kinds of stuff to feel better. But, nothing helps much. Mostly, it just makes me sleepy for a while. Then I wake up feeling worse. I just want to be well! OMG! Look at my desk! ***whine*** I have so much to do...I want my Fairy Godmother!!! Jenn ************************************************************************************* Wednesday Nov. 5, 2003 Hiya Diary, I�ve been a bad girl... Last Friday night, Alissa and I went out clubbing on Halloween and I drank too much. WAY too much. It started with us getting ready at my apartment. Alissa dressed me as a �naughty schoolgirl� which was kinda fun. She pulled my hair up in pigtails with a couple of white scrunchy things. I wore white tights, a little plaid skirt and a white shirt. I was a vision of innocence. NOT! Alissa wore this black unitard with a wide leather belt, high heeled boots, and OMG she looked so HOT! ***melt*** Anyway, we started drinking wine while getting ready and I was tipsy before we ever left my apartment! Things pretty much went downhill from there...I have been really down and depressed lately and that mixed with alcohol makes for trouble in JennWorld! I was OUT OF CONTROL! At first, my emotions were riding high as I acted all silly and school-girlish. WHICH earned me a lot of unwanted attention from guys. ***rolls eyes*** But, I figure I brought it on myself. And, being less than the smart girl my Mom and Dad raised, I was letting every guy in the club buy me drinks. Whatever they handed me, I drank it. Did I ask, what is this? Did I consider that I had had enough? Did I think someone could have slipped something into my drinks? The answers in the order asked is NO, NO, NO...Did my parents raise me to be smarter than that? ***sheepish look*** Well, they did their best... Thank goodness Alissa was there to take care of me. As I found out the next morning, she actually quit drinking because of me. She saw that I was getting myself into something I could not handle. Thank you Alissa! (Not that you will ever read this. You BETTER not!) I don�t remember a lot of what happened that night. No doubt I made a complete fool of myself. Alissa says I was dirty dancing on the bar and flashing my undies to everyone. ***sigh*** And that I kissed several guys like really, really hard. ***drops head*** And that I was singing really loud. ***cringe*** I can NOT sing... I remember throwing up at some point in the girl�s room. And, laying my head in Alissa�s lap while she drove us home. And, getting car sick and making her pull over a couple of times. Mostly it seems like a really, really bad nightmare now. I woke up Saturday morning with the worst hangover ever. I kept taking Tylenol but it didn�t even phase the pain in my head. And, my stomach was sore from throwing up. Thank goodness for Alissa staying with me to take care of me. I finally made it to the couch after noon and lay there with a wet cloth over my eyes which she kept refreshing. I love her... We were supposed to go out again Saturday night to a party. But, there was no way I was going. And Alissa stayed home with me which was like super nice of her. So, we watched a couple of movies and just lay around my apartment and cuddled. I was finally able to get some soup down Saturday night and felt a lot better afterwards. But, I have decided ONCE AND FOR ALL!!! I am NOT drinking EVER AGAIN!!! (subject to change without notice) Maybe it was good that I got all the �emotional stuff� out of my system. My head and stomach hurting was way better than my emotions hurting. Now, I don�t think so much about Jeff and what a loser I am when it comes to picking boyfriends. Now, I am just glad my head doesn�t hurt any more. There�s some other stuff going on that I can�t talk about but I have learned the hard way that things have a way of going full circle and that you can�t run from your past. And, that sooner or later, whatever you do, it catches up with you. So, think before you act. As if � I � should be giving ANYONE advice??!! Look up gullible in the dictionary and you will find my picture. On a less serious note, I coined a new phrase today. I was eating lunch with Tracy and telling her about my morning and how my boss must have eaten �roadkill� for dinner last night. I said he had, �Breath of Death�. Tracy couldn�t stop laughing. At least SHE is enjoying life at the moment... Jenn |