| Jennifer's Diary December 2003 |
| Return to JennWorld2003 Home |
| Return To Jennifer's Diary |
| Saturday, December 20, 2003 OMG! I had an intruder last night! I was sound asleep in Fairyland and I heard a noise in the next room! I know I wasn�t dreaming cause I sat up in bed and I heard it again! Well, my heart started thumping and I couldn�t breathe! So, being quite as a mouse, I climbed out of bed and crawled across the floor into my closet and hid. Believe me, with all the clothes in my closet, I could hide for days without being caught... Anyway, I sat there in the back of my closet for what seemed like ages and waited. Well, nothing happened so after a while I peeked out to look around. I have a small nightlight in my bedroom so I could sorta see around my room but with my bedroom door closed I couldn�t see into the next room. So, I crawled to the door of my bedroom and cracked it and looked out. It was pitch dark so I couldn�t see anything. So, I knelt there and listened for a long time. Have you ever noticed how much noise you make just BREATHEING?! I sounded like a freight train! Well, after a while, I decided whatever made the noise was gone so I stood up and turned on the light. Everything looked normal. Nothing missing or messed up or whatever. So, I grabbed a kitchen knife and went back to bed. Then when I lay down, my mind was still racing about what could have made the noise and then it came to me. I have GHOSTS! Okay, I know that�s not rational. But, YOU sleep alone and see what goes through your mind in the middle of the night when something goes �bump�. Needless to say, I didn�t sleep after that. So, I am a tired girl this morning. I think I will wait until around midday when ghosts don�t come out and try to take a nap. I hope Alissa doesn�t have a date tonight cause she�s gonna sleep with me whether she wants to or not! ************************************************************************************ Thursday, December 18, 2003 �It�s the hap-p-iest time of the year...� ***singing*** La-la-la,le-la-la-la...I�m a happy, happy girl! Of course some might say, I am delusional... My shopping is done. My little apartment is all decorated. I am all set for Christmas. All I have to do now is wait for Santa Claus to bring me goodies. Dear Santa, remember that red sweater dress I ordered? Well, you see everyone has been bringing all this good stuff to eat by our office. And, well...its SOOO hard to resist and to make a long story short, maybe you should bring a size medium instead of small. Thanks. Your rollie pollie Jenn Someone brought this HUGE tin of chocolate treats. I mean HUGE! And its filled with all these little miniature chocolate treats. And these treats keep whispering across the lobby to me, �Jenn...Jenn...Just one more won�t hurt anything...� I talked Mom into baking her usual collection of Christmas candies for me next week. Pecan pies, pecan rolls, divinity, and chocolate drop thingies. She made them every year while I was growing up except for last year because of Dad passing. But, I twisted her arm this year and she promises to do her part to add to the weight I have already gained in the past two weeks. So, just picture a happy Jenn sitting under her Christmas tree with rotten teeth and weighing forty extra pounds. That�ll be me. I�m gonna have to have a SERIOUS New Year�s resolution to stop all the snacks. Truthfully, I don�t think I have put on any weight. But, I gotta stop with all the junk food. I want a new Weatherman. The one we�ve got is malfunctioning. He keeps promising snow and it never happens. I want a Weatherman that can deliver snow on demand! Maybe it would help if I threw a temper tantrum. ***snicker*** My Mom would probably spank me to this day. �Cept I don�t think she could catch me these days! ***nods*** I can be pretty quick ya know. Ooops. Gotta run!!! ***singing*** �It�s the hap-p-iest time of the year...� Jenn *********************************************************************************** Tuesday, December 16, 2003 Okay, Tracy and I talked. Now, I feel stupid............ for feeling stupid. The whole incident was such a �no big deal� thing to her that I feel stupid for feeling the way I did. Tracy is sooo �together�. She just seems to �get� everything. Understand everything. Life isn�t sooo mysterious to her. I wish that were true for me. So, why am I slightly disappointed that it didn�t �mean anything� to her? And, why am I still slightly suspicious that she isn�t telling me the whole truth? I can tell when someone kisses me if �they mean it�. Finally, why do I have to dissect everything and not just accept the obvious answer? She said �it meant nothing�. So, it meant nothing! Most importantly, they are predicting a SLIGHT chance of snow here again tomorrow. Please, please, please let it snow!!!!! I wanna play in the snow and make a snowman! ***whine*** Dear Santa, PSSSSwhatever S I am up to now. I want SNOW for Christmas!!! How am I supposed to work this time of year?! I have FAR too much Christmas spirit to waste time working! Anyone want their Christmas tree decorated? I�ll do it for free! Just feed me hot chocolate and play some Christmas music. I�ll happily work for hours free. You know what job I should have? One of those girls who wraps presents in the department stores. I LOVE wrapping gifts! And, if I do say so myself, I am very good at it. ***proud smile*** There would be Christmas music playing in the background. I would be surrounded by people Christmas shopping. I would be wrapping �happiness� for others. What more could one ask for in a job? Okay, money is important too. Welp, suppose I should do a little of what they pay me to do today. Later! Jenn ************************************************************************************ Monday, December 15, 2003 Oh my, what a weekend! First, I was a �perfect little lady� at the Christmas party. It was afterwards that I got out of control...***cringe*** The party was really nice and a lot of fun. I got to meet everyone�s SO�s and that was nice. In most cases they were nothing like I would have expected. Isn�t that always the case? My boss�s wife was soooo sweet to me!!! She was extra nice, thoughtful, and friendly. I hate her though for being so beautiful and �together� and smart, and her children and her marriage, and her career, and ***sigh*** Okay, I don�t hate her. In fact, I adore her. I�m just jealous and wish I were more like her. I had my two glasses of wine and that was all. ***Hmmmphhh*** And you didn�t think I could do it! I�ll have you know I can be self-disciplined when I want to. As long as the temptation isn�t TOO great... I danced with lots of folks and had a �merry� time. And, I didn�t do anything to embarrass myself. At the Christmas party, that is... And, then a small group of us went clubbing afterwards. It was me, Tracy, her hubby, John and his girlfriend, Rob and his girlfriend and one of the accounting guys and his girlfriend, and one of the accounting girls and her boyfriend. Let�s see. Did I forget anybody...I don�t think so. Someone kept ordering shots for the table and...well,...I participated just like everyone else. They were actually very yummy! At the time. The next day, my poor tummy was a wreck. Anyway, we were all having a wonderful evening. Some might say we were loud and boisterous. Others might say we were downright unruly. And some might even say we were obnoxious. Me...? I say we were just having fun. I was a dancing fool as usual, dancing with anybody and everybody. At times, I wasn�t even sure who I was supposed to be dancing with. I was just surrounded. All that was well and good I suppose. But then things got more crazy. Tracy and I were dirty dancing with each other, much to the delight and encouragement of her husband and the rest of our group. Not to mention the rest of the crowd there. Tracy was as drunk as I was and we were being pretty naughty on the dance floor. Not that anyone complained. Well, then we sorta kissed while everyone yelled and egged us on. �Sorta kissed� means we REALLY kissed. As in French kissed. Of course everyone was teasing us and encouraging us to keep going but I had just enough good sense left to stop. Somewhere in the back of my feeble little brain, I knew that I would have to face her Monday morning. And the rest of my co-workers. And, that this was something I DIDN�T want spreading around the office. So, I used what little self restraint I have to stop. Of course I was far to drunk to drive myself home so Tracy and her husband drove me home. Tracy and I were sitting together in the passenger side bucket seat and her husband was driving. So, I was sorta halfway sitting in Tracy�s lap. Well, her hand kept stroking my leg the whole way home. Now, sometimes girls do that and its nothing sexual. And, I�m not sure what Tracy was thinking. I KNOW she was drunk. But, with that and the cuddling stuff we were doing, I think she was like �into it�. If it had been Alissa touching me like that I know I would have been �into it� too. But, since Tracy is my best friend(besides Alissa) and my co-worker, and her husband was sitting right THERE, I was way too intimidated to �go with it�. So, I just sorta let her have her way and ignored it. At my place, they both walked me to the door and I almost panicked, thinking they had some sort of �intentions� of me and both of them. Which I was NOT going to do. But, when I unlocked my door they made no efforts to come in. So, I gave Tracy a �sisterly� kiss goodnight and hugged her hubby and they left. All day Saturday, I was far too hung over to think about anything but feeling better. Sunday, I recovered enough to think about Friday night and the anxiety began to creep in. I began to imagine all the rumors swirling through the office about my behavior and how people would believe the worst and so on. I almost cried, thinking that things would never be the same at my work and I really love it here and don�t want things to change. And, I couldn�t stop thinking about Tracy and how we kissed and how she was touching me on the ride home and how I...***sigh*** ...secretly enjoyed it, and what would we say to one another this morning when we got to work. Well, we still haven�t talked other than to say �Hi� and smile. I have been way too busy and so has she. But, I suppose we need to talk. I dunno. Maybe not. I would be sooo embarrassed to talk about it. I am really good at pretending things that really happened, never actually happened. Maybe that�s what I should do and see if she brings it up. Life in JennWorld is sooo complicated. Of course I have no one to blame but myself. Some of the guys who were there Friday night have come by my desk to tease me a little but so far its only them and they have done it �playfully�. As opposed to hurtfully. So, �so far, so good� in that regard. If my boss finds out, I will be mortified though. He�s the type of person who won�t care as far as my job goes. But, there�s something about him that I just don�t want him to know. He has this really lofty image of who I am. Even though its not entirely accurate, I don�t want him to learn otherwise. Does that make sense? Well, better go. I may go talk to Tracy about other stuff and see what she has to say. Later. Jenn ************************************************************************************ Thursday, December 11, 2003 Hi Diary, Went shopping last night and bought a sweater for Alissa and another for my Mom. Why am I sooo UN-creative when it comes to selecting gifts?! Boring...Although they are very pretty sweaters. I know Mom will love hers. I THINK Alissa will like hers too. We�ll see. The mall was sooo dead! I couldn�t believe it! Where is everyone?! I am sooo broke. Its scary. I�m ready to be swept off my feet by my rich husband-to-be. Hurry please... Remember when I was sooo happy for cold weather to get here? Could someone turn up the heat please? I�m FREEZING! Wore a skirt yesterday. Kinda short. Felt fine yesterday morning. Froze my buns off at lunch and walking to my car after work and at the mall. This morning I wrapped up like an Eskimo. But, I�m still cold. Now, I�m ready for spring weather. How far off is that? We get to leave work early tomorrow so us girls will have time to get ready for the Christmas party. Yeay! The office closes at 3:00 pm. I�m gonna try to convince my boss I need to leave at noon since I need extra time to look pretty. ***snicker*** Well,...there is some truth to that. You think I am just naturally pretty? Uh uh....Takes work. Plus, an afternoon nap will do wonders for my party mood. Remember Jenn! ***taps head*** TWO glasses of wine. NO MORE! I am STARVING! I forgot to eat dinner last night. Not totally forgot. But, it just never seemed convenient to stop and eat. Ate a breakfast bar on the way to work. �Inhaled it� may be a better description. Now, it has �worn off� and I WANT FOOD! Its another hour and a half until lunch. No way will I survive that long. Wonder if any of that fruitcake is left. Hang on. Gotta go on a scouting run for food. Be right back. ***whimper*** The fruit cake is history. Well, there were a few crumbs left lying on the paper wrapper thingy and I was trying to scoop them up with my fingers and eat those. I am sooo pathetic. My tummy is growling like an airplane engine. Very cute....NOT! My boss is gone again today! He was here yesterday and now he�s gone again. Geez, I never see him anymore! I�m not complaining, mind ya. Gives me time to devote to other projects. Like writing in my diary. Poor guy, he�s been working sooo hard recently. Me too to some extent. Not like him though. I go home at 5:00 every afternoon. I have no clue when he gets here in the mornings or goes home at night. He�s just always here. When he�s not traveling that is. I wouldn�t want to work those kind of hours. I�ll just stay poor and happy, thank you. Well, happy most of the time. Except when my bills are due. Or I want some new boots. Okay, I have no more pride. I am going through the office asking if anyone has food in their desk. You know, its just a small step before I�ll be homeless on the streets begging for my existence. If you see me, think kind thoughts and offer me crumb or two. Jenn *********************************************************************************** Tuesday, December 9, 2003 Yummm....Coffee and fruitcake. I don�t understand why so many people don�t like fruitcake. I LOVE it. Our office is like a candy store with cakes and cookies and goodies from all the companies my boss does business with. So hard NOT to sample them...Gotta run extra the next few weeks. I have a Christmas gift under my Mom�s tree!!!! From Mom! I am SOOO excited! I can�t WAIT to see what it is! I am SUCH a child when it comes to Christmas. I couldn�t sleep last night wondering what she got me. Maybe that red sweater dress...hmmm??? I dropped enough hints!!! ***laughing*** Alissa and I watched a movie last night. The Recruit. I am SOOO in love with Colin Farrel!!! ***pant, pant, pant*** I just MELTED looking at him last night. Colin, if you read this, I wanna have your baby!!! In the meanwhile, I can�t even get a date for the company Christmas party. ***sigh*** I�m trying to decide whether to invest in some new boots. I found a pair that I just LOVE. But, I have a pair that still doesn�t look too bad. Just a little worn. But, the heels are pretty high. Not sure if they send the right message to wear at work. Although I wear them often. The new ones look more �professional�. How funny! ME dressing more professional. I still feel like such a child. Maybe my boots will get me through this winter. My boss has been gone the past couple of days. So, I have Christmas music BLARING. He would get on to me if he knew. Too bad. Gotta catch me first! ***devious smile*** Okay. Gotta go, Nothing but drivel coming to mind today. Sorta tells ya what goes on in my mind, huh? Jenn *********************************************************************************** Monday, December 8, 2003 Hi Diary, ***yawn*** Will this day last FOREVER!!!! OMG! I feel like I�ve been here for days! I wanna go home! ***whimper*** I�ve been busy, busy, busy all day until an hour or so ago and now time is just DRAGGING! My boss is gone and there�s nothing to do...Well, there is ALWAYS filing to do. But, I�m not THAT bored. It snowed EVERYWHERE across the country except where I live! ***stomps foot*** That�s not fair! I want snow! I even stole a carrot from my mom for he nose. Technically, I didn�t steal it. I don�t steal. Mom gave it to me. Alissa is gonna let me borrow one of her outfits for the Christmas party Friday night. Some silky black pants that fit my bottom really good and a Christmas sweater. Black sweater with red sequins in a Santa sleigh and reindeer outline. Its much cuter than I make it sound. Black hose and black heels. Fairly dressy. I should look okay. Now, if I just ACT okay...�Two glasses of wine, Jenn! No more!�...At least not THERE...***snicker*** I�m going with Tracy and her hubby. I mentioned going to Alissa but she wasn�t really all that crazy about going anyway. So, I will be the proverbial �third wheel�. Except I know Tracy and her hubby love me so I�m �good with it�. What am I gonna get Alissa for Christmas?! I can�t think of anything special! And to make matters worse, I am BROKE! I will have to put whatever I buy on my charge card. Along with everything else! When it comes to money, I am such a loser! I pay my monthly bill but it just keeps going up. ***mental note*** Buy lottery ticket... I am sooo jealous of those people who got to play in the snow this weekend. There�s only one thing to make it better. That�s if it snows during the week so I can miss work. Yeay! Well, I think I will email Alissa and see what she�s doing after work. Not that I have money to do anything. Maybe she will let me help her do her Christmas shopping. Spending other peoples money is always fun! Toodles, Jenn *********************************************************************************** Friday, December 5, 2003 Last night Alissa and I decorated a Christmas tree for my Mom. You should have SEEN us trying to get it in the stand. Talk about the �blind leading the blind�! But, we managed and it looks SOOO CUTE!!! Mom was all teary eyed that we did that for her. Actually, we made her help some to get her in the Christmas spirit. Which she did. But, she refused to build a fire for me last night. Grrrr....Building a fire is NOT proper work for a Princess! ***hands on hips*** I snagged my sweater, bent my nail back, and breathed �ash dust� when I threw the logs in the fireplace. ***thhssspppp**** I can still taste it... Dear Santa, PSS, ...in addition to a fireplace for my apartment, can I have a big strong man to build fires for me every night? Someone �lumberjack� like? Big, strong, and wearing a thick flannel shirt I can cuddle up to...and big hands! He has to have really big strong hands. I like big strong hands...And thick curly hair...And tight fitting jeans...and work boots...not muddy though. Don�t wanna mess up my carpets. Besides building fires, can I make him do other stuff too? ***devious snicker*** Okay, I�m being naughty again. Bad Jenn! I want it to snow! It looks like �snow� outside. But, nothings happening. I don�t think its cold enough here. ***pout*** I wanna play in the snow... I�ve been playing Christmas music on the little radio at my desk. My boss lets me play music as long as he can�t hear it from the corridor beside my desk. Some stupid rule the company has. But, I�ve turned it up a little to try to get the office really Christmasy. He hasn�t said anything so far. Not sure if he�s noticed or not. Maybe he�s just trying not to be a Scrooge. OH YEAH! He said I can decorate my office a little and gave me twenty bucks. So, I�m gonna buy some garland and stuff this weekend. YEAY!!! ***singing*** �Oh the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is sooo delightful, and since we�ve no place to go, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow� Jenn is a happy, happy girl who is filled with Christmas spirit! ***mwuahhh*** Jenn *********************************************************************************** Thursday, December 4, 2003 Last night, Alissa and I caught the Christmas spirit and we pooled our money and bought a small Christmas tree for my apartment. Its SOOO CUTE!!! In a very tiny way... We went to Walmart to buy some lights and decorations and then went home and put on Christmas music and decorated it together. How fun!!! The weather outside last night truly was �frightful� and it made being inside, having fun all the better. We made some hot chocolate and sang along with the Christmas carols and worked on our tree. We had soooo much fun that we called Mom and volunteered to decorate her tree tonight. She wasn�t even going to put one up but we talked her into it! See? Christmas spirit is contagious! What am I gonna get Alissa for Christmas??!!! ***bites nails*** She has ALREADY bought me something! It�s the only little wrapped gift under our tree. Just sitting there all by itself. Calling out to me...Jennnn, Jennnn, guess what I am....Its driving me crazy! I wanna open it NOW! Sitting there all by itself, it also screams out, JENN AIN�T BOUGHT ALISSA NUTTIN� YET! ***cringe*** I better get busy shopping! I just can�t think of anything �special� to get her. She has TONS of clothes already. What to do?! What to do?! Oh yeah... Dear Santa, PS: I want a fireplace for my apartment. I LOVE fireplaces in the winter. Reminds me so much of growing up at home. When life was simpler, sitting there in front of a fire till my clothes were scorched. The smell of burning wood. Daddy in his chair reading his paper, Mom milling about the kitchen, me staring at Christmas gifts under the tree calling out to me, �Jennnn, Jennnnn, guess what I am....?� Our company Christmas party is next Friday night. I can�t decide whether to go as Tracy and her hubby�s date or to ask Alissa. I wanna ask Alissa but I�m afraid people will think that�s strange. If they only knew... Not sure what I will wear. Dress is �Holiday wear�. I have a couple of things. But, I really want a new dress. Something �Christmasy�. I have some �Christmasy� sweaters I could wear with black slacks I suppose. ***yawn*** Boring! Tracy is wearing a red dress with sequined reindeer on it. SOOO Cute! I want something like that! ***pout*** This will be my first Christmas party at this company. Everyone has been talking about last year�s party and about how CERTAIN people were wild and crazy. It should be fun to see that side of my co-workers. As long as it�s not ME they are talking about next year...***mental note*** Two glasses of wine Jenn. No More! Ooo, I wanna decorate my little cubicle now. Some garland and some ribbons and stuff. I wonder if I can talk my boss into springing for the costs. Twenty bucks should cover it. Better ask for thirty. Okay, gotta put on my charming, �butter would not melt in my mouth� smile and go talk to him. Wish me luck! Jenn ************************************************************************************ Wednesday, December 3, 2003 Dear Santa, I�ve been a VERY good girl this year! Except for once or twice...But, I am REALLY sorry about that and PROMISE to try harder next year. Okay? ***crosses heart*** So, my Christmas wish this year is for...ummmm, that red sweater dress I tried on at the mall last weekend and those black boots with the spiky heels. Okay???? That will make me a happy girl Christmas morning! Ummm, if I have any Christmas wishes left over after the dress and boots...not to be greedy... but if there is any room left on my list, some nice lingerie from VS is ALWAYS appreciated. And, maybe some more body lotion from Bath and Body Works. Mmmm...love that stuff! Now, if there is STILL room left on my list, I wish for ummm...World Peace! And, that Mom has a really nice Christmas! And, that Alissa has a really nice Christmas! And, that people stop being mean to one another! Now, after ALL THAT, if there is any more teeny tiny room on my list, I wish for Mr. Right to wake me up with a kiss Christmas morning. And a cup of coffee. Just like I like it. And he�s wearing a robe. And a smile. And nothing else...Ooops! That�s what got me in trouble last year!!! ***laughing*** Just teasing Santa! Your extra special good girl who never does nuttin� wrong, Jenn *********************************************************************************** December 1, 2003 No, I am NOT pregnant! Just ate my share of Turkey, plus a couple of other�s share... It was me, Mom and Alissa. Way kewl! Mom said the blessing and she made me tear up. I know, I whine and complain sometimes. (((�Sometimes...?!� says a chorus of disbelievers.))) Okay, a lot! But, I really, really do have a lot to be thankful for. And, I am. Anyway, Mom reminded me of how much we have to be thankful for. Thanksgiving was sooo awesome! First, I ate and ate and ate some more. Mom made this pecan pie that was �TO DIE FOR�! I ate TWO pieces. Yep! ***rubs tummy*** Plus, I picked around the side of the pan. But, that doesn�t count...***crooked smile*** Then, Alissa and I were laying on the floor in front of the fireplace, kinda sorta watching tv and fell asleep. Mom had this really pretty fire going and it was all rainy, cold, and yucky outside which made the fire extra special warm and cozy. We woke up to find that Mom had draped a comforter over us. Ain�t Mom the best?! ***dreamy sigh*** It was a special day. Later that afternoon, Alissa and I were in my old bedroom at Mom�s house just goofing off and Alissa was checking out all my stuff. She went through my closet making me try on some of my old clothes. Okay, admittedly, most of it looked pretty cheesy in hindsight. But, get this...for those who think I obsess over food, EVERYTHING STILL FIT!!! Okay, not everything. But, all the stuff from my senior year in high school onward. ***proud smile*** A couple of things fit a LITTLE more snug in the bottom. But, the important thing is, they FIT! ***hhhhmmmmppphhh!*** We laughed and laughed. I can�t BELIEVE some of the stuff I used to wear. Can you say �short�?! (((Chorus rings out, �Short!�))) C�mon people, that was a figure of speech...Anyway, I must have walked around with my bottom hanging out my entire senior year of high school. No wonder Dad used to get mad at me. Did I tell you how Mom used to trick Dad into looking the other way while I would slip out wearing something way too short. If he had seen me, he would have made me change clothes. Thanks Mom! I think... A couple of skirts, Alissa insisted I take home with me. Not that I would ever wear them OUT anywhere. But, to humor her... She was trying to persuade me that, �You could wear this skirt with that top when we go to such and such place...�, etc. I asked her if she wanted me to just walk around in public in my undies. Which would only be SLIGHTLY worse... She said no, that if she did, I would...And then she smiled that smile that always scares me. ***gulp*** You know, on second thought, that is a cute skirt... Can you believe I actually looked forward to coming to work this morning?! Yep! I did! I even got to work early this morning. Which, for me is a MAJOR accomplishment. Amazing what a few days off can do for the ole� attitude, huh? And, I�ve been a busy little worker bee this morning just typing and filing and answering the phone and...well, writing in my diary. ***cringe*** Okay, I�ve been really good up until now. Half a day. That�s not too bad...Let�s see, Four days off = one half day work. Therefore, one day work = eight days off. (did I do that right?) So, after today, I�m off until a week from Thursday. Welcome to JennWorld! Jenn |