| Jennifer's Diary August 2003 |
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| Saturday, August 30, 2003 Morning Diary, Mmm...I�m still a sleepy girl this morning. I just got up. Alissa is still asleep in my bed. She stayed with me last night. We�re supposed to head for the lake in a couple of hours. The weather is kinda yucky outside but we�re going anyway. We may be �holed up� in their cabin for the next two days with a half dozen other couples, while it rains. But, that should be kinda fun too. I just hope the weather cooperates... Well, I need to go wake sleepy head so we can get ready. Jeff will be here soon. I never thought there was anyone who loves to sleep as much as I do. ALISSA does!!! Good grief, that girl likes to sleep! Just because I am the BESTEST best friend ever in the whole wide world, I am taking her a cup of coffee so we can share coffee in bed this morning. Mmm... what a nice way to start the weekend.... See ya later Diary..Ta Ta Jenn ************************************************************************************** Friday, August 29th, 2003 Hi Diary!!! Well, I am back today to being my old adorable self that everyone knows and lov...well, �knows�. I feel �cute� today. Not so the past couple of days. In fact, I looked so dreadful I made small children cry... But, today I am determined to be a happy cheerful girl who appreciates her life. I am SOOO disappointed!!! The last two nights, Alissa and I have stayed up late to go outside and see Mars. But, its been too cloudy. In fact, last night there was another lightning storm! This time I was PREPARED though. ***points to head*** I�m smarter than some think! I had my rubber-soled running shoes ready to go. I had a plastic bag to wrap Pooh in...(Now before anyone reports me to the animal rights folks, I had holes punched out for his nose and eyes...)And, I had my umbrella inside my apartment, as opposed to my car, so I could make a run for it if the lightning attacked me again. Of course, Alissa destroyed my confidence when she pointed out that my umbrella had metal rods all in it which ATTRACTS lightning. ***sigh*** What�s a girl to do... The �Contract From Hell� as I�ve come to know it is OUT THE DOOR!!! Again!!! ****The crowd rises with a roar*** Lets hope it stays gone this time. Of course, all my OTHER work is backed up now. �No rest for the weary�...I don�t know exactly what that means, but it sounds good. As soon as I get caught up with my work today, I see some serious �goofing off� in my future this afternoon. Shhh...Don�t tell my boss. He�ll probably be on the golf course anyway. I�ve skipped lunch the past two days I�ve been so busy. So, today I�m going for the �Whole Enchilada� !!! ***snicker, snort*** ....Ahem, -I- thought it was funny. Mexican food for me today!!! And Tracy too. My treat! Uh oh!!! Saturday & Sunday = Jenn in bikini = HALF an enchilada. I can live with that. Gotta run... Jenn ************************************************************************************* Wednesday, August 27, 2003 Ugh!!! Yesterday I had a crummy day so I went to bed early last night to get a good nights sleep in JennWorld and feel all refreshed and bubbly today. So, I come bouncing into work this morning and find what...that SAME contract I typed ten zillion times LAST week!!! There is sat on top of my desk like a flaming bag of dog poopie!!! ***whine**** This thing is like Jason from the movies. No matter what you do to it, it just keeps coming back. This time someone else has �bled� all over it!!! Why can�t HIS secretary make the changes?! So much for �having a nice day�! ***grumble, moan*** I�m gonna try to make the most of it and be a ***fake happy voice*** �Sweet, happy, cheerful Girl�. Someone come rescue me and take me away from this life of......work. I was destined to be spoiled like a Princess. Breakfast at 10:00. Lunch at 2:00. Dinner reservations at 8:00. Intervening hours devoted to ...non-work. Of course, some of my �less than flattering� readers would suggest that I don�t work NOW! Well, I have a word to put them in their place!!! Thsppppp... :-P Well, Cinderella must get back to cleaning the burnt embers from the fireplace and scrubbing the stone floors. Jenn ************************************************************************************** Tuesday, August 26, 2003 Morning Diary, I�m having a hard time waking up this morning. Which is strange cause I went to bed on time last night. Not sure what the problem is. I�m looking forward to this weekend. Jeff and I are going back to the lake with a bunch of his friends. I asked him if I could ask Alissa to go with us and he said sure. He�s met Alissa so he knows how cute she is. I�m sure the rest of the guys will be drooling over her. Now, I have to ask Alissa if she wants to go. I hope so. It will be more fun for me. Jeff gets wrapped up with his friends doing �hardcore� skiing and I get bored without someone to talk to. Work is kinda quiet right now. My boss is in meetings all day and I don�t have a lot to do. So, I�m sitting here quietly contemplating life in general and wishing I were back in bed. JennWorld is kinda boring today. Wish there were something to liven it up... Jenn ************************************************************************************* Monday, August 25, 2003 Oh my what a weekend!!! Friday after work, to make up for being so unceremoniously �dumped� by my boyfriend and best girlfriend, and being left ALL alone to fend for myself on a Friday night, I splurged and treated myself to a shopping spree at Victoria�s Secret. ***happy face*** Now, I�ve got lots of pretty new undies and some new sleep wear and I�m a happy girl! Then, to further treat my wounded ego Friday, on the way home from shopping, I stopped to get some takeout Mexican food and in the privacy of my little apartment, PIGGED OUT!!! ***oink, oink, oink*** Then, to complete my plan for soothing my �trampled upon� feelings, I soaked in a steamy hot bubble bath until I was �lobster red�. Shaved my legs...Mmmm, I LOVE having freshly shaved legs! ...***dreamy sigh*** That DOESN�T mean shaving my legs is an INFREQUENT occurrence! Smarty Pants! All that was followed with lots of pretty smelling body lotion that left me silky smooth all over. Then, I put on one of my new night shirts, poured a glass of wine, put some Enya on the CD, and curled up on the couch to read �Seabiscuit�...its �okay�. But, I was a happy, happy, happy girl. Who needs a boyfriend?! Who needs a girlfriend?! ...Okay, I do but not EVERY night! After my second glass of wine, or was it my third...could�ve been the fourth...I was a slightly tipsy, VERY sleepy little girl. So, off to bed I went. And, guess what? I had CLEAN SHEETS!!! Is there ANYTHING better than going to sleep on CLEAN SHEETS!!! Mmmmm...Not for me! I would trade Jeff for clean sheets anyday!!! So, there I was curled up and comfy, happily in Dreamland, when...SOMEONE knocked on the door!!!! OMG!!! I nearly jumped outta my skin! I debated calling 911, screaming bloody murder, calling my Mom, and hiding in the closet. Finally, I decided seeing who it was seemed the more practical solution. So, after a quick side trip to the kitchen to grab a knife, my heart racing ninety miles an hour, I sneaked up on the door and peeked out the little peephole thingy. There stood Alissa!!! I didn�t know whether I was happy to see her or mad at her for scaring the life out of me. Anyway, I let her in. OMG!!! She was sooo drunk!!!! Her date had dropped her off at her apartment and she had come upstairs to see me. I had told her to come by so I could see how she looked in my dress. I had meant BEFORE she went out. Not AFTER! Sheesh! But,...she looked SOOOO hot!!! ***clutches heart*** All forgiven Alissa!!! Well, she was so drunk I couldn�t stop laughing at her. Which annoyed her and made me laugh even harder. I asked her if she wanted to stay with me for the night and she nodded that she did. So, I took her back and undressed her and put one of my nightie�s on her and helped her wash off her makeup and we went back to bed. I asked her how her date went but she was so sleepy, she didn�t want to talk. But, her hand signal said, �just okay�. The best part was when she turned her back to me and spooned up next to me and I got to sleep with my arms around her all night. Mmmm... that was nice. So, Friday night turned out to be good after all!!! Saturday, Alissa woke up with a bad hangover...well, what did you expect Alissa?!... so she went back to her bed and slept the rest of the day. I, on the other hand, spent a relaxing day at the pool, soaking up lots of sunshine, and reading my book, and occasionally cooling off in the water. I am getting SUCH a good tan! ***happy face*** Saturday night, Jeff came over and we hung here all night. Now, I wanna proclaim something here. If having an active sexual relationship means that he is not gonna take me out anymore, I�m �cutting him off� now. Maybe in more ways than one!!! I am NOT a middle aged married woman who is satisfied sitting home on Saturday nights. I EXPECT to be romanced!!! I wanna go out to eat! I wanna dance! I wanna get dressed up for a REASON! ***hands on hips, tapping foot*** One last thing I wanna say...I have the BESTEST readers in the world. There are two people in particular that deserve a big hug and kiss from me. So, �R� and �C�...***muaahhh*** !!! �R� is my guy mentor who gives me insight on why some guys are such jerks and explains the ways of the world in general to me. Which is quite helpful since I tend to be a little na�ve at times. I would say �R� is like a big brother, but that might insinuate incest since at times, he has thoughts very �unsisterly� of me. Especially where it concerns his OH SO HOT girlfriend! And, at times...he has ME thinking the same things!!! ***sheepish grin*** Love you, �R�!!! ***teasing smile*** �C� is a lesbian woman who is coaching me on how to seduce Alissa. Now, �C� is a GREAT coach! Unfortunately, I am a �sucky� student. Cause I am too CHICKEN to do what she says. But, I do my best and I manage to do about 10% of the things she coaches me to do. So, at this rate it would take me ten times longer to seduce Alissa than it would �C�. Which sounds about right. Cause she�s ten times more confident than I am. I love you �C�. Thanks for your help!!! ***huggg*** Okay, back to the coal mine... Jenn ************************************************************************************ Friday, August 22, 2003 ***whimper*** I�ve had a BAD last two days!!! EVERYTHING has gone wrong!!! Such as...such as...well, just everything. Don�t ask what�s wrong. Its all trivial. Except things have really gotten me down. Plus, I am ugly. On a better note, sorta, Jeff came over again last night. That�s the most times I have ever seen him in one week. Imagine that, right AFTER we started having sex...Am I being too insecure? I think after my ex-finance I am just afraid to trust anyone�s intentions. ***little voice*** �Take deep breaths Jenn, and blow them out slowly. Now, go to your �Happy Place� and relax. Its gonna be all right.� That�s not helping... -I- asked Jeff out for Friday night. He told me he couldn�t. He already had plans...with his guy friends no less...Grrrr....Let him go �boink� them, then! Alissa has a date tonight so I am ALL ALONE!!! ***whimper*** Nobody loves me anymore! ***sniffle*** What to do? What to do? Hmmm...shopping at Victoria�s Secret? ***tiny smile*** Followed by some Mexican takeout? ***nods head*** Followed by an extra, extra long steamy hot bubble bath? ***happy sigh*** Afterwards, lay around in just my mostest comfy sleepshirt and undies? ***eager nod*** Read my new book and drink some wine? ***dreamy gaze*** Okay, I feel better. I just needed a plan. Lonesomeness gone bye, bye. Wonder where Jeff is and what he and his buddies are doing...? ***cry, cry, cry*** Just kidding about that last part. I don�t care WHAT he does. Hmmmph! Tracy is all excited. Her sister is having a baby. Her sister�s first and Tracy�s first niece/nephew. I�m excited that she is excited. I love to see her like that. Alissa borrowed one of my sexy little dresses to wear tonight. Its her first date with this guy. She�s kinda excited. I made her promise to come by my apartment and let me see how she looks in it. I KNOW she�s gonna look totally hot! Well, I suppose I should get back to the RealWorld and do some RealWork. Jenn-Jenn ************************************************************************************* Wednesday, August 20, 2003 Tracy has been making fun of me all morning!!! Grrr... And, after I gave her a ride to work this morning!!! Her car is in the shop and being the nice girl I am, and her being my �bestest girlfriend ever� I offered to pick her up and bring her to work this morning. Well, we were toodling along the interstate, just like I do every morning. I was putting my makeup on in the mirror, dancing in the seat to the radio and sipping coffee. And talking to her since she was there. Tracy thinks that is 1) insanely dangerous, and 2) hysterically funny. I don�t get it... I do that every morning. Except for the part where I was talking to her. Its not like I was swerving all over the road. I was putting along in the granny lane like I always do, minding my own business, and well, getting ready for work. And, I was in a good mood. So, I was dancing... What...? Like I am the only girl putting her makeup on at 55 miles per hour!!! Look, I�ve had lots of practice!!! So now, Tracy had gone up and down the hall telling everyone. And, suddenly I am getting driving advice from everyone. And, snickers...***pout*** Wonder how Tracy is getting home this afternoon... OMG, Jeff came to see me last night!!! He hardly ever wants to get together during the week. He came over and we hung out and well,...did what boyfriends and girlfriends do. I wonder if THAT is the only reason he came over...Am I being too cynical? Jenn ************************************************************************************* Monday, August 18, 2003 Morning Diary!!! ***kiss*** I didn�t wanna come to work this morning...***pout*** But, like a good little employee, I did. ***sigh*** This weekend was...ahem, memorable! Friday night, Alissa and I were totally out of control. We had planned a �quiet� night consisting of pizza and a movie. We never watched the movie... We were both SOOO silly Friday night that my tummy was sore the next morning from laughing so much. There�s no real story to tell. It wouldn�t be funny to anyone else. We were just �over the edge� silly. Laughing at everything. We started drinking early. (Hmmm, maybe that�s why we were so silly.) Anyway, she came over about seven and we shared a bottle of wine. We were talking about work and stuff. I was fiddling with my hair trying to pull it up out of the way. She wanted to do it for me so she started brushing my hair for a while and then put it up in pigtails. THAT�S where things began to get silly. Of course, I insisted on doing hers. And, we started acting like �silly girls�. I know the pizza delivery boy thought we had lost our minds. Somehow, one of us came up with the idea of going to the pool. So, there we were acting like total bozo�s, trying to drown one another in the pool. I won the contest for standing on my head underwater the longest. But, she was the better wrestler, nearly drowning me in the process. After the pool adventure, we showered and changed into our sleep stuff and opened a second bottle of wine. I don�t remember much after that except it was nice and I laughed a lot and we slept until noon the next day. And, our good intentions of going for a long run on Saturday fell by the way. Then Saturday night...I can�t say too much about Saturday night except Jeff has officially been promoted to JennLevel Four. ***mischievous smile*** Mmmm...it was nice. It has been SOOO long...No, the earth didn�t move and no stars fell from the sky(as Alissa put it), but it was VERY nice. ***contented sigh*** I stayed the night at his place and he took me for breakfast the next morning. I think I enjoyed that as much as the night before. I miss �being� with someone. Like I�m supposed to �be� with them. Ya know? Then he brought me home and of course, I had to immediately call and tell Alissa. She asked a MILLION questions but she was happy for me. We spent the rest of the day together yesterday just running around being bored together, in a good way. Jeff called Sunday night to see how I was doing. THAT was nice cause he rarely does that. Maybe he�s stopped taking me for granted. ***fingers crossed*** Then, I went to bed early and woke up happy this morning. Except for the part where I had to get OUT of the bed, shower and get dressed for work. I could have lived without that part. And, so it goes in JennWorld... Jenn (content as a kitten) ********************************************************************************** Friday, August 15, 2003 Mmmm...I slept SOOO good last night!!! I crawled into bed with Holly(my ragdoll, those of you with dirty minds) and curled up in a little ball and slept, slept, slept!!! And, this morning I awoke to the sound of birds chirping, the sweet aroma of spring flowers, and butterflies floating about my bed...Okay, that�s a slight exaggeration. I am a happy, happy girl! I�m dressed all comfy for work today with a granny skirt, little cotton top and comfy shoes!!! Even though they are NOT as cute as yesterdays. My poor feet need a break... Ummm...Alissa and I are having a �Girl�s Night In�. Pizza and a movie. My place. Should be fun. I�m so glad that I decided to stop dating David so Jeff and I can spend more time together. ***rolls eyes*** What is it with that boy and his Friday nights with his guy friends? Why can�t I go too? So, what else? My boss is out of town today, so Jenn will play, play, play!...Hey, that rhymed! Well, I should get busy. I think I�ll go see what Tracy has planned for this weekend... Jenn-Jenn ********************************************************************************** Thursday, August 14, 2003 I�ve had SUCH a bad day!!! Actually, it started last night. I was home alone and this lightning storm came and sat right on top of my apartment!!! Right on top! It was bedtime and I wanted to go to bed but I was REALLY scared!!! So, I grabbed Pooh Bear and crawled under the bed covers, head and all. Well, every few seconds, this terrifying �CRACK� would make me jump out of my skin!!! Not being a complete fool, I realized that under the covers, I couldn�t see the lightning flash and get a clue that there was about to be a loud explosion! So, me and Pooh Bear crawled out from under the covers and cracked the blinds so I could get a �warning� flash before the lightning scared the wits out of me again. Well, the flash and the explosion happened at the same time and I still would jump and scream. ***sigh*** Poor Pooh Bear, I think I squeezed the stuffings outta him. I was sooo scared that I called Alissa and asked if I could come down and stay with her. Now, I know what you are thinking but it wasn�t like that. I was too scared to think of anything except surviving. Of course, she said yes. So, I put a robe on over my sleep shirt and undies and got ready to make a run for Alissa�s apartment. And, being a clever little girl, I thought to put on my running shoes. See? Lighting can�t strike me if I have rubber soles on my feet! Right?...Actually, I have no idea but it seemed like a good idea at the time. Anyway, I peek out the front door to scout things out. As if I was gonna time the lightning strikes and make a dash for it between. Well, ... The rain was pouring in sheets and the wind was blowing it all the way under the roof of the walkway. So, there was no way I was gonna get to Alissa�s without getting soaked. Even if I had an umbrella, which was conveniently in my car, it wouldn�t have done much good. So, I envisioned dashing into Alissa�s apartment soaking wet like a drowned rat and decided, �Not good�. Plus, I couldn�t leave poor Pooh Bear behind and the rain would have ruined him. So, on to plan B�. Or is it �C� now. Whatever... Plan �C� was...well there was no plan �C�. I just hid in my little apartment, scared as a little kitten until the storm passed over. So, I lost out on a couple of hours of beauty sleep. Or as Tracy would say, �Jenn Mood Improvement Sleep�. Then, on the way to work this morning, I�m just cruising along in the granny lane minding my own business, dancing in the seat to the radio, and loving life. Well, last night, I wasn�t so sure... Anyway, this jerk comes across two lanes, flying up behind me cause he couldn�t get around some slow poke in the fast lane. He starts tailgating me which makes me all nervous and aggravated. I was watching him in the rearview mirror and he�s making all kinds of hand gestures like �get out of the way�, etc. Where was I supposed to go?! Why couldn�t he pick on the slow pokes in the fast lane?! That�s why I drive in the granny lane. So, I don�t get yelled at by creeps like him?! Then, I get to work. The weather has been really nice here lately and for the first time in forever I wore pantyhose. Well, they lasted about 34 minutes before the invisible run monster got me. In the trash they went. So, ... 30 minutes commute + 34 minutes work = 64 minutes wear time / $5.00 = $0.08 per minute pantyhose. Assume I work 8 hours per day (no comments please) x 60 minutes per hour = 480 minutes per day work time. Or should I say �time I am in the office�. Anyway, 480 minutes x $0.08/minute = $38.00 per day for pantyhose. That�s almost as much as I make!!! Well, not quite... Then, I�ve got these new shoes that are SOOOO cute! But, they are KILLING my feet!!! ***whimper*** But, they are sooo CUTE!!! What to do?! What to do?! I know...***sigh*** there are worse problems in the RealWorld. But, we are talking about JennWorld here. And, in JennWorld I am entitled to whine when my pantyhose run and my feet hurt. My little clock says its twenty minutes past time �Jenn Go Home Time�. So, I am off to other adventures. If anybody reads this, pray for clear weather tonight around 11:00 pm. Or at least no lightning storms...***whimper*** Jenn ********************************************************************************* Wednesday, August 13, 2003 Hi Diary, I have been working SOOO hard!!! ***pant, pant*** Its not fair!!! I�m a Princess! I�m not supposed to work! I had lunch with Tracy on Monday. To be accurate, I have lunch with Tracy EVERY day. But, the point of telling this is what happened on Monday. That didn�t need to be clarified, huh? Anyway, Tracy and I had a semi-picnic lunch in the park on Monday. We weren�t sitting on a blanket or in the grass, but we WERE in the park. So, that counts as a picnic. �Picnic� just sounds like more fun than �lunch�. Am I getting sidetracked again...? I was telling Tracy about my weekend. I talk to her about everything. She knows all about David and Jeff. I told her about deciding to cool things off with David. And, that Jeff may be getting a promotion to JennLevel Four if he will stop getting drunk and stop throwing me into pools long enough. I was also telling her about how much fun Alissa and I had Friday night and breakfast Sunday and so on. Apparently I was a bit TOO enthusiastic in telling her cause she interrupted me at one point and asked straight out, �Do you have a crush on Alissa?� ***gulp*** I was so stunned by the question, I didn�t know what to say. I am really open about how I feel to you, Diary. But, I would never talk about these feelings to anyone I �know�. So, I stammered and stuttered and blushed and finally just shook my head, �yes�. Well, Tracy, who shall hereinafter be referred to as My Bestest Ever Girlfriend, just smiled and said, �I thought so�. She was so kewl about it, I was totally at ease that I had just confessed my attraction to Alissa. I mean, the whole idea that I would confess to someone who DOESN�T live in JennWorld that I had a crush on another girl, was simply out of the question!!! I would rather die first!!! But, somehow it just came out! Just like that, Tracy KNOWS! OMG!!! And, she is still my friend! She didn�t go �ewww� or faint or run or berate me with lectures. She just said, �okay� and that was that. I mean, we talked about it after that but she didn�t make a big deal about it. She asked me if Alissa and I were �intimate� or not with the same tone of voice as when she asked me about Jeff and I. Of course, I told her, �no�. Cause we haven�t been. But, that�s not the point. She was sooo at ease talking to me about it, she made me feel comfortable talking about it. I can�t believe it! I had made such a big deal out of it in my own mind and now that someone knows, its like no big deal!!! Of course, I made her promise she wouldn�t tell anyone. And, I trust her totally. Its not like I want EVERYONE to know. Just Tracy. But, somehow, having someone to talk to about my feelings has taken like this huge weight off my shoulders. ***sigh*** It is such a relief. Who knows? Maybe I won�t feel the need to write in my diary anymore...JUST TEASING DIARY!!! Had ya going didn�t I?! ***snort, snicker*** I would never leave you out Diary!!! ***kiss*** I have a date with Jeff Saturday as usual and nothing planned for Friday. Yet. But, I�m sure Alissa and I will do something if Jeff and I don�t. BTW, I told Jeff that I wasn�t dating David anymore. He just shrugged like he couldn�t care less. THE BIG JERK!!! I HATE it when he acts like that. I KNOW he cares about me!!! And, I KNOW he�s jealous when I go out with other guys!!! ....Doesn�t he???...Isn�t he...???? ***pout*** Alissa and I are running tonight after work and then she is making dinner for both of us at her place. Should be fun. Her roommate will be there so I gotta behave. At least on the outside... I am SOOO trying to do a major update to my website to add some pics and organize it. My website looks like my room, all messy and ...ahem, never mind. Well, gotta go Diary! I feel soooo...FREE! ***twirls*** Jenn-Jenn ********************************************************************************** Sunday, August 10, 2003 Ummm, just woke up from a nap. I�m still a sleepy girl. Just heard it thunder outside. That means its time to go back to bed. Love sleeping during storms. If they are not TOO severe. Then, I get scared and need someone to hold me. Sooo, what happened this weekend? Umm, Friday night was THE BEST ever!!! Alissa and I had sooo much fun! We went for Italian food. Yummmm...I love Italian! We shared a cannoli for dessert. OMG! It was SOOO good! We were fighting over it! ***giggle*** Then we hit some clubs. We were sooo drunk!!! The last place we were in, this group of guys just hovered over us, buying us drinks and hitting on us. We flirted a little but there was NO WAY! We were having way too much fun with just the two of us. I can�t remember the last time I danced so much! We had the BEST time. At one point Alissa and I were �dirty dancing� with each other and that group of guys, there was about six of them, were gathered around us �egging� us on. It was sooo funny!!! Then they were trying to get us to kiss. I probably would have done it if Alissa had wanted but she was kinda freaking out. So, I didn�t say anything. Guys love it when girls do that. I wonder why,,,??? Anyway, we took a taxi home and left my car at the club. We were WAY too drunk to drive. Alissa wound up staying with me Friday night. Which was nice. I like when she stays with me. We slept until like 1:00pm Saturday. Every time one of us would wake up, the other wouldn�t want to get up, so we just kept going back to sleep. Finally, I was STARVING! So, I got up and made some toast for both of us. I had to practically roll Alissa out of bed to get her up. My car was still downtown and I was afraid it would get towed. But, she drove me to my car and all ended well. Then, Saturday night. I took my bathing suit to change into but wasn�t PLANNING on going swimming. There had to be fifty people at the party at one point. There were like three grills going cooking burgers and hot dogs. They went through one keg of beer and had to be close to finishing a second before the night was over. It was a huge house in a really nice neighbor. The kind I hope to live in some day. The couple that was throwing the party was a little older than Jeff and I. I�m not sure exactly how we were invited. It was a friend of Jeff�s, who worked for...I don�t remember now. Anyway, even though a lot of the people were a lot older than me, the party was WILD! Who said older people don�t know how to party?! There was one girl, actually more like a lady, mid-thirties maybe, that went topless in the pool. OMG! I couldn�t believe it! And, she had a thong bottom on. I wish I had that kind of nerve! And, her body wasn�t all THAT great! But, she seemed totally at ease being topless in front of everyone. Of course, by that time a lot of people had left and there were only about 15 to 20 people still around maybe. And, everyone was pretty drunk by then. Jeff was trying to talk me into going swimming too. But, I really wasn�t in the mood. I didn�t want to get my hair wet. Mess up my makeup etc. But, he kept insisting. I think he had designs on talking me into going topless. Though, he never came out and said anything. Well, I kept saying no until finally he picked me up and threw me into the pool! Clothes and all. Grrr..... I was wearing white shorts so they were like transparent when I got out. And, I had on a pink tee shirt type top that just clung to me. So, I was NOT a happy girl!!! I changed into my bikini and came back out but I still didn�t go back in the pool. I was angry at Jeff and acting all aloof toward him. He knew he had messed up when I came back out. He started apologizing and everything. But, I felt like a drowned rat, so I made him take me home. I sorta felt bad this morning for being such a �poor sport�. But, around all those strangers, I was just too self-conscious to look like that. I dunno. That�s just me... This morning, I woke up kinda early. For me that is. And, I called Alissa to see if she was up. She wasn�t. Until I called. The phone woke her up... ***snicker*** I was in the mood for a big breakfast. IHOP was �calling me�. So, I made Alissa go with me. I offered to pay if she�d go. So, we ate a big breakfast. I had an omelet and hash browns. Alissa had a waffle. Anyway, we pigged out and went back to her apartment. We hung around her place for a long time, watching TV. Then, we decided to go out by the pool. The sun had broken through about 1:00 pm. I met her by the pool and the sun went right back behind clouds again. ***sigh*** So, we hung out there for a while and finally gave up and went back to her apartment. We were laying on the couch just talking. Her head was at one end and mine was at the other and our legs were jumbled in the middle. And, we fell asleep that way. The, her roommate came home with her boyfriend and woke us up. The way he kept looking at us, I think her roommates boyfriend thought �something� was up with Alissa and I. Not that I would have minded...***evil grin*** But, nothing was up. ***sigh*** Then, I dragged myself back home to my little apartment and here I am. Talking to you. Just noticed. The thunder has stopped and it never did rain. Too bad. It�s a perfect day for a summer storm. I�m in the mood to crawl into bed and cuddle with someone and just listen to the rain. Oh well... ********************************************************************************** Friday, August 8, 2003 I LOVE my boss!!! ***sigh*** He took me to lunch yesterday...He even let me pick the place! Mexican, of course... Isn�t he just the BEST?! Okay, here�s what I decided about David. I love him as a friend. I really do. But, I am not interested in him as a boyfriend. Yet, I keep finding myself ...ahem, �caught up� in situations with him that are usually reserved for boyfriends/girlfriends. Funny how he has a way of getting me �carried away�. An-y-way...I�ve decided that I need to cool it a while with him before I do something that I shouldn�t do with him. Now, I didn�t say all this stuff to him. I just told him that tonight, for instance, I already have other plans. We always go out on Friday nights lately. So, I�ll just keep my distance to let things calm down a bit. I still want to see him as a friend but that�s all. After last weekend with Jeff and the way I felt, I don�t think it would be appropriate to be intimate with David. So,...THAT problem solved. What, you might ask, am I going to do tonight? After all, it would not be appropriate for a Princess to be left all alone on a Friday night. Well, fear not Diary. I have PLANS! Alissa and I are having a �Girls Night Out�! Yeaaahhhh... We�re getting all dressed up, going to dinner, and then clubbing afterwards!!! Woo Hoo!!! I am sooo excited!!! Can you tell?! Tomorrow night I�m going out with Jeff as usual. Yeah, we made plans early this week and I�m a happy girl. I think we are going to a cook out and party at some of his friends house. They have a pool and I�m supposed to bring my bathing suit. But, I don�t know about that. I look dreadful with wet hair. It gets all curly and wild. So, we�ll see. What else? Ummm, today is Friday!!! Yeahhhh!!! I LOVE Fridays! I can sleep late the next two mornings. And, afternoon naps...***dreamy sigh*** Friday is casual day so today I�m dressed all comfy today in my �earthy outfit�. It�s a long ankle length swirly skirt and a little peasant blouse. I�ve got my hair kinda put up cute pulled back on the sides kinda thingy. So, I�m a content little kitten... Now, if my boss will cooperate and not give me any work, I can devote this fine day to creative endeavors like planning my dream vacation in Tahiti, staying in a thatched roof hut, lots of cabin boys around to take care of my every need, pretty Polynesian girls to fan me with palm branches, a sweet, fruity drink in my hand, a colorful little bikini that fits me perfectly EVERYWHERE, a buffed lifeguard that keeps staring at me with lustful intentions, and a financial adviser on the phone advising me that I simply MUST defer some of my income for tax purposes. ***sigh*** ********************************************************************************** Thursday, August 7, 2003 After yesterday�s fiasco, I decided to be a good little employee this morning and get to work early. ...Well, on time. So, this morning when my alarm went off, I whimpered and whined and rolled out of bed without hitting the snooze even ONCE! OMG! How do people do that?! If bearing children hurts THAT much, I�ll just adopt, thank you! Anyway, I beat my boss to work this morning for the first time ever. So, I am sitting at my computer being an industrious little secretary (well, I was reading my email but HE doesn�t know that), when he walked in. I looked up and said, �Good morning!� with one of my sweetest and prettiest smiles. Now, does he say, �Well good morning, Jennifer! How are you this fine morning?!� NOOO.... Does he even grunt out a �Morning Jen...� NOOOOO..... He just starts laughing again and shaking his head as he walks into his office! Grrrr..... Now, sometimes when I am feeling extra sweet and he is being extra sweet to me, I will get his coffee for him. I know just how he likes it. He�s VERY picky...Anyway, I decide to get him a cup of coffee. So, I measure out exactly one pack of creamer, and one and one half packs of sugar, which are his precise specifications. ...Specifications??? OMG! I am starting to sound like my boss!!! Anyway, back to this morning, so I measure out a pack and a half of sugar. Or, was it four packs of sugar? Hmmm, I don�t remember...***twirls hair*** So, I take it to him with a sweet smile and almost �curtsied� just to make a point. But, I didn�t. I turned to walk to my desk when I heard him start to gag on the coffee. ***snicker*** � Jennifer?� �Yes Sir?� �I believe you put too much sugar in my coffee this morning?� �I did?� ***innocent, angelic halo*** He looks at me with this knowing smile. �Well, I thought maybe you could stand to be a little sweeter to me?� He started laughing. Thank goodness. I was beginning to be afraid I had gone �too far�. So, he apologized for teasing me so much and I promised not to paint my nails at work anymore. ***fingers crossed behind back*** Now, all is back to normal. At least as normal as it gets in JennWorld. ********************************************************************************** Wednesday, August 6, 2003 I am SOOO busted!!!! If I could stop laughing, I would cry!!! My boss left early for the day. He had meetings out of the office all afternoon. Or so I thought... Well, being the industrious little hard working secretary I am, my work was all caught up. Except for a couple of days filing which I still consider �caught up�. So, being a good little corporate employee and of a mind to always make the best use of my time, I decided it was a perfect afternoon to do my nails and talk to Alissa on the phone. ...What?... So, I am minding my own business, a perfectly content little girl, as I hovered down behind my computer as a screen, to paint my nails. Now, I consider this part of my job. As my boss often reminds me, image is very important. And, if you could see my nails, ...well, lets just say they did not present a very good image. Again, with the company�s interest at heart, I decided to do a little multi-tasking and call Alissa while I was painting my nails. I am very flexible that way. I have been known to paint my nails, talk on the phone and chat on-line simultaneously. All while daydreaming about something or other. An-y-way... I have my head down, concentrating on painting my nails and with the phone propped on my shoulder. I am baring my soul to Alissa about David and the limit of my feelings about him yet the way I am sometimes physically attracted to him and what to do...yadda, yadda, yadda. And, Alissa was in the middle of explaining what I should do, basically go with the flow, etc, when I suddenly notice someone hovering over me. Now, where my office is located, I am sorta hidden from the rest of the office. So, I thought I was quite alone. Anyway, I sorta shrieked out loud. Well, I was STARTLED!!! It turns out my boss had returned to get something from his office and I hadn�t heard him walk up. And, being the prankster he is, he was just sorta standing there listening and observing, enjoying catching me �goofing off�. (I still maintain that the company did receive some benefit from what I was doing) Anyway, my heart is pounding in my chest, I totally drop the phone, and I suddenly realize that, sitting as I was with one foot in the chair under me, my boss was getting an ample view of my undies. Well, while he is laughing his butt off, I scramble to assume a more ladylike posture, retrieve the phone from under my desk, return the cap to my nail polish, all while trying to protect the wet polish on my nails. ***pant, pant*** My boss found all this IMMENSELY amusing...Grrr... I hurried to tell Alissa goodbye and I�d explain later. And, I was blowing on my nails and waving them in the air to hurry their drying and trying to catch my breath and calm my heart down from where he�d scared the bejeepers out of me. Between guffaws, he manages to ask me to help him find a file he needed. So, I stand up to go to the file cabinets, and nearly fall flat on my face. ***sigh*** My foot had fallen asleep from where I had been sitting on it and was numb and I hadn�t noticed. Well, you can imagine how much he enjoyed that little turn of events. I love it that my boss finds me so amusing... ***rolls eyes*** Well, I quickly manage to find the file he needed and sorta rush him back out the door to spare myself any further humiliations. I watched him through the window walk across the parking lot and get in his car, all the while shaking his head and still laughing. Now, I love my boss dearly. I really do. But, that doesn�t mean I don�t want to kill him, sometimes... So, maybe I�m not the most graceful lady since Princess Diana. Can you imagine how dreadful I�d be if my Daddy hadn�t sent me to modeling lessons when I was a little girl?!... But, you know what??? All that and I didn�t get a single smudge in my nail polish!!! Am I good or what?!!! Jenn ********************************************************************************** Tuesday, August 5, 2003 Good morning, Diary... I�m still a sleepy girl this morning. Not sure who dressed me this morning. I don�t remember....Not too bad a job. I sorta look cute. Oh well...maybe it was me. I MUST go to bed earlier at night!!! ***BRB*** I need coffee... Ahhh, better...I can feel my little toesies again... So, what�s up Diary? Ummm, I think I left off last Friday. So, Friday night... Went out with David. Had fun, fun, fun as usual. We ALWAYS have fun! But, for some reason, I still see him more as a friend than, ...well,...whatever. Except, we got a bit carried away with the kissing Friday night. I love the way he kisses. He makes me feel soooo...can�t �splain it. But, I like it! The problem is, I don�t have �feelings� for him in �that� way. So, is it wrong for me to let him kiss me like that? I mean, I REALLY like it when he is kissing me. Its some pretty heavy making out actually. But, limited touching and no sex. Jenn�s definition of sex = oral sex, intercourse, or touching to the point of orgasm. None of that. Although, he has had me squirming a couple of times...***fans face*** Its just that later, I sorta feel guilty. Like maybe I�m leading him on. And, I truly don�t want to hurt him. I like him a whole lot. What to do?...What to do? ***sigh*** Then, Saturday night I went out with Jeff. I got really dressed up for him. Remember, he actually asked me out early last week instead of taking me for granted. So, his reward was I wanted to wear something sexy for him and make him feel special. ..No, not THAT special. Just a �little� special. Anyway, I wore a short khaki skirt with a very low cut red shirt and some red sandals with clunky heels. I think I looked kinda sexy. ...Well, I tried! We went clubbing and I acted all girly and clingy all night. Which he seemed to like. And, I didn�t make him dance once with me! See? Aren�t I a good girlfriend? And, in return, he asked me to dance TWICE to some slow music. ...Well, that�s better than nothing! I was being all �flirty� and stuff all night, clinging to his arm, and sitting in his lap and stuff like that. The truth is, I was kinda �worked up� from Friday night with David. I mean, I had ...***whispers*** ...�URGES�! Well, Jeff, who is loving all the attention I was giving him is sorta getting carried away with the booze and I wound up driving us home. Now, we get to my apartment and I invite him inside. He was in NO condition to drive home. So, I suggested he stay with me. Now, at that point, I�m not sure what I had in mind. Yeah, the idea occurred to me that Jeff might be promoted to Jenn Level Four that night which entitles him to...well whatever he wants. ***blush*** But, I wasn�t exactly sure. I hadn�t made up my mind. But, remember Diary, I had these �urges� driving me crazy at the time so, his chances were pretty good. Anyway, he came in and we went to the couch where we started making out and stuff and...he totally fell asleep. ***whining*** What�s wrong with me Diary?! Finally, - I�m � in the mood and he ISN�T?!!! How rude of him!!! I had �NEEDS�!!! ***sigh*** Anyway, I get up and go to bed and leave him sleeping on the couch. I took time to throw a blanket over him but that�s it. I even locked my bedroom door so he wouldn�t wake up in the middle of the night and decide THEN he wanted to...�you know�. When I got up the next morning, he was gone. No note, nothing. ***pout*** He did call later Sunday to check on me. Which was kinda nice, I suppose. And he apologized for getting so drunk. And thanked me for driving us home. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I�m a GREAT drinking buddy to have around. But, no one wants to �boink� me when I�m in the mood!!! ***stomps foot*** I was in a crummy mood all day Sunday. I went to Mom�s for Sunday dinner and even her �Wonderful Mom Cooking� couldn�t cheer me up. Although, I did have �seconds�. ...Well, I didn�t want to hurt her feelings. And, it was just sitting there. It would have just been thrown in the garbage. Leave me alone... I took a long nap Sunday afternoon which was extra good cause it was sprinkling rain at the time which makes afternoon naps even better. And, my tummy was extra full at the time so that made it even better, better. Sunday night, Alissa called and wanted to come over and hang out which was a definite improvement in my weekend. I had not seen her in ages. Ages = two or three days. So, she came over and we watched a movie. I was lying on the couch and she sat at the opposite end and she plopped my feet in her lap and started giving me a foot massage. ***drool*** Jenn + foot massage = visions of butterflies + sounds of birds singing. Jenn + foot massage + ALISSA = Heavenly Bliss!!! Actually, it would be more accurate to say that Alisa watched the movie. I lay there with my eyes closed absorbing all these wonderful sensations racing through my body. At one point she started massaging my calves, which immediately got my motor running, wondering where THAT was going. But, that was the limit of her touch. So, I lay there with eyes closed, purring like a contented kitten while she watched the movie. At some point, I drifted off to sleep. When, I woke up, she was asleep, slumped back against the couch. The movie had gone off and it was like 12:30. So, I gently nudged her awake and asked if she wanted to stay the night. She nodded without saying anything and we shuffled off to my bed. I gave her one of my sleep shirts to wear and we crawled into bed. We didn�t do �anything� although the thought occurred to me. But, I am far too chicken to take the initiative in something like that. So, we just cuddled up and fell asleep. The best part was waking up the next morning cuddled up with someone. It felt sooo nice to sleep in someone�s arms again.... That�s the first time for me since I broke up with my jerk ex-fianc�. I miss that sooo much!!! I soo didn�t want to get up!!! Neither did Alissa. I hit the snooze alarm like four times. We were both late for work Monday morning. Thankfully, my boss wasn�t in town Monday so he didn�t know. But, I stayed late to make up for it anyway. Poor Alissa got busted though and her boss made a curt comment about setting the alarm earlier. I really feel bad about that cause the last couple of times I hit the snooze, she wanted to get up but I didn�t want to let her go. So, it was sorta my fault. I�ll have to make it up to her...***evil grin*** And, then last night, I was at home alone, thinking about the weekend, and getting �urges� again. So, I did what any red-blooded American girl does at times like that. I scrubbed my apartment clean, did my laundry, and paid my bills. It was like 1:00am when I finally got drowsy enough to fall asleep. Of course, when the alarm went off at 6:00am this morning, I was still a sleepy girl. But, after being late for work yesterday, my subconscious kicked in and activated my autopilot. Somehow, I managed to get dressed for work, put on my makeup, and drive to work without any conscious thought. And, judging by the look in the mirror, I did a reasonable job of making myself look presentable. Reasonable = minimum acceptable standards. So, here I am Diary. You are all caught up to date and I have work to do. Depressing huh? Well, that�s life in JennWorld. ***sleepy smile*** ********************************************************************************** Friday, August 1, 2003 Hi Di!!! Di...?! Diary! Get it!!!...Ahem,...- I � thought it was cute...So, I�m easily entertained... An-y-way...Ummm, whassup? Date with David tonight. Tomorrow with Jeff and Alissa in between. So, what else is new?! My life is in SUCH a rut! Somebody take me to Paris for the weekend!!! ***whine*** I think I would look cute in one of those little black berets. I could wear some black flats and a long flowing skirt, oversized sweater and look all artsy and stuff. Whatta ya think, Diary? Think that look would be cute on me? Sitting at an outdoor caf� sipping coffee with a tall slender guy with long jet black hair, who has a thick French accent, scuffy beard...Mmmm And, then we get into his little sports car convertible and we race through the back roads, taking curves at high speed. My hair is flying out behind me and so is his. My skirt is whipping around from the wind. I have one arm thrown outside the car and my other is resting on his thigh. I am leaning back in the seat, dark sunglasses on, eyes lazily taking in the scenery rushing past. And, we stop on the side of the road and climb a fence into this lush pastureland and...oops, better stop now. ***fans face*** getting carried away! I am SUCH a daredevil!!! ***proud smile*** You see, Friday is casual day. Like most companies, we can dress �business casual� on Fridays. Which is GREAT! I mean, I LOVE to dress up but not EVERY day. Anyway, �business casual� means NO BLUEJEANS!!! They made Tracy go home and change one Friday when she came to work wearing jeans. So, whats my point?...Jeez, Diary don�t rush me!!! I getting there, okay?! Well, Little Miss Daredevil, (me in case you weren�t sure), came to work today wearing a denim miniskirt. ***crowd murmurs*** Yep! I did! I saw my boss do a double take when he saw me this morning but he didn�t say anything. I mean, I am wearing a kinda dressy blouse and heels, so its not like I am totally �grubbed out�. Anyway, like he ALWAYS does hen I wear short skirts, he came out and sat by my desk around mid-morning and started chit chatting with me. Well, I sorta casually asked him if he minded what I was wearing. He looked at me for a minute and said as long as it�s a dress or skirt its okay. Just no jeans...***happy face*** Yeah!!! That works for me!!! Of course, I�m sure the fact that my bottom is practically hanging out had nothing to do with his decision...***rolls eyes*** Had lunch with Tracy today as usual and we went to the park and had a mini picnic. It was sooo pleasant. The sun was shining but not too hot. Just a wonderful, pleasant day... Well, I gotta get back to work. I�ll let ya know how the weekend goes. Tomorrow night, I�m gonna be extra sweet to Jeff for not taking me for granted as usual. Hope he connects the dots and gets the message. Not sure what David has planned for us tonight. Which is kinda okay. I am sooo comfortable with him that I just sorta �go with the flow�. I think I am seeing him more as a very good friend than as a �boyfriend�. We�ll see. Bye Diary! ***waving*** Jenn |