Chapter Four: Goal Line Texas

"It's tough to have a family crisis without family"

Our friends, Rick and Gena Jowers, owned a condo in Ocean City, Maryland and they offered us use of it for a weekend in April of 1984. We anticipated this trip for weeks. Oscar had invited Paris, a friend of his from school.

We got to the condo, settled in our stuff and went back out to find that it was pouring. We tried to wait it out- but it was relentless. We decided to take the kids to a bowling alley we had passed on the way in. We piled into the station wagon and headed toward what we hoped would be a fun time.

About two blocks away from the bowling alley, we stopped for a red light. Within a moment we were struck from behind by a delivery truck at high impact. The driver was easily going full speed at about 35 miles per hour.

We struggled to get ourselves out the vehicle because its frame had shifted. People from the restaurants nearby came out and helped us out. At first assessment, we were physically fine. As we stood out in the cold and heavy rain, we were as drenched on the inside as we were on the outside.

That stormy night was the proper beginning for the nightmare we would live through in the next year.

Kathryn suffered a bump to her head which went away rather quickly. The other children were fine. Richard sprained his back and he pulled muscles in his throat and incurred back problems that persist today.

The driver had hit us, making a loud impact noise, and then pushed us forward for about a block. I had put my hands on the dashboard in front of me to try to brace myself. That was a huge mistake.

Over the next six months, I had what seemed an eternity of tests to determine the consequences of the accident, almost all quite painful. By the time I was told I would need surgery on my left shoulder to repair the rotator cuff, I was relieved that at least they found the problem and that the testings would be over. Soon after that, I had to have surgery on both my hands to repair nerve damage and relief the carpal tunnels. I lost twenty percent use on the left hand and thirty percent of the right.

The insurance for the delivery company was fair with us, paying for our medical bills and compensating us with an equal amount. We took their first offer. We were interested in getting back to being well.

At one point, my surgeon suggested that perhaps teaching would put too much of a strain on my hands because my hands would be degenerative from that point forward. I would lose them a little at a time if I over used them.

Before the accident, we had all our ducks in order and we had all our minutes accounted for. We were like a hamster in a well-oiled wheel, just happily going along at a steady rate. The accident caused our "wheel" to come to an abrupt stop and we were thrown from it. We tried, for the sake of everyone who was depending on us, to get up and dust off and make our way back to the wheel every day.

When I had the shoulder surgery, my youngest sister, Nelda Diaz and her fiance, Tony Jimenez, took a 32 hour bus trip (Nelda refuses to fly!) up from Alice to come stay with us and help with the kids. Thier being there for us during this monumentally difficult time shifted our mind set. Our reality zone was changing. There was so much we wanted to accomplish, for our kids and for ourselves but we needed time to sort though what had happened and figure out how it would affect our futures.

Our live's pace in the DC area was too hectic to allow for this so we decided to move back to Alice, Texas. I cry even now as I write this. It was so difficult to close that chapter in our lives and to leave behind the many wonderful people who had embraced us when we arrived in that area knowing only Richard's brother, Will. We had been so happy. It took us all a long time to get over the grief of leaving.

It was a long trip home. Richard drove the U-Haul and I drove our vehicle behind him. We hit the outskirts of Virginia during morning rush hour. Richard shifted lanes and I was not able to follow suite right away. Oscar was in the front seat next to me and I instructed him to keep track of Daddy. We looked around and there were three U-Haul trucks and they all looked alike. Oscar looked a little panicky and he asked me what I was going to do. I told him I was going to choose a truck and follow it. He wanted to know what we'd do if I chose wrong. I waved my hand dramatically towards the South and told him that Texas was over there somewhere and that we'd find it. He has always been a smart child so he was still panicky.

We had been packing for three days and that morning had been the worst of it. If Richard was going to lose us this soon in the trip, he'd have to figure it out soon enough and come find us. Obviously, all logic was out the door as exhaustion had set in. We followed the truck I chose for over fifty miles, looking back to see if another U-Haul was chasing us. When it did stop, Oscar and I held our breath as the man in the truck opened the door and climbed out. It was Richard!

We laughed long and hard. We had needed the comic relief. Richard didn't think it was so funny, but he eventually joined in. After that, Richard had us memorize the license plate and any other features that distinguished the truck. We didn't lose him again through that trip, but we would have to do without him for ten months after we arrived.

We made it to Alice safely. Richard settled us in and returned to DC to wrap up his job. He had been told that an office would be opening in Corpus Christi from his division and he was in line to work there. Well, the Bush Administration lost the White House that November. The Clinton Administration moved in and the Corpus Christi office never materialized. Meanwhile, Richard was commuting back and forth from Alice, Texas to DC. We would see him for a few days every two months or so.

I going through the process of deciding what I would be now. I tried to Substitute Teach but I hated it. Substitutes always get treated like they are sub-human, by the kids as well as by the administrations. After having my own classroom, it was difficult to walk into a stranger's room and just leave it after a day.

Oscar, Victoria and Kathryn were doing great in their new environment. They had tough moments, like having to go leave Daddy at the airport too often, but we worked hard to keep them as stable as possible.

Oscar joined the football team and that helped us all. We went to see the team practice and we followed them to all the games. I sewed the girls some cheerleader outfits and they had a blast jumping up and down at the games.

Alice is a lot smaller and we spent very little time driving now. I missed the driving time because it had been set aside for talking with the kids. It took us an hour or so get anywhere in DC and we could cover a lot of talking ground. In Alice, we are no more than five minutes away from any place we go to. We learned to have our talk times while we prepared dinner and it has continued to be an invaluable link between myself and the children.

I went to work for our Public Library as a Reference Librarian and Director of Children-Adult programming. I spent two years there developing a love/hate relationship with the place. I worked with students from out local Junior College, many of whom had not been in a classroom for decades. It was inspiring to see their efforts and accomplishments.

I learned that eighty percent of the preschool aged children in our community were enrolled in the Head Start program. For whatever reason, we still had twenty percent of our children who would not be prepared for Kindergarten and would likely not fare well in a situation where eighty percent of a classroom is advanced because of prior experience. So, I began a program at the Library designed to teach the parents or the caregivers how to teach the children what they would need to prepare for Kinder. It was quite successful.

We enjoyed success in a variety of programs, but the work environment was stressful. There was a lot of friction amongst the staff and that had been ongoing for several years. My contribution to the prevalent negative attitude was that I wanting to change things. I was excited about this tremendous resource within the community. I wanted there to be a team effort among us to help in making the Library a place where citizens from our community, of all ages, would seek out what we had and come in to learn and enjoy the process of learning. I tried to plow forward, ignoring the resistance I met, until I realized that the task of implimenting such changes was not mine to do. I wasn't in a classroom where I had such authority. I realized that staying would mean that I would have to abandon the zeal and passion for the work and just get the job done. I could not do that.

Richard finally decided to walk away from his job right at about the same time that I had decided that I had had enough of the Public Library. It would financially tough, but we agreed that we would handle it. Richard wanted to open up a computer business on Main Street, South Texas Computer Solutions(STCS), and I could come work for him until I decided what I would try next. I've been here three years and I'm a partner in the business now. I don't think I'm going anywhere anytime soon. Every day is a different experience. I have had so much to learn about computers and the business of sales and service. Learning HTML for the purpose of Web Writing was incredibly dificult and as fullfilling as anything artistic I have done. It has been quite satisfying except for the small problem of having to have Richard for a boss.That can be trying at times, but we manage.

I have time to uphold my ASMS assignments like being an active PTA member, a volunteer in the schools the kids attend (I work an hour or so every day before I come to work), an active Band Booster serving at the concession stands for the in-town games. Richard and I both teach Sunday School and sing in the church Choir. We both have been a part of the Glossbrenner Prison Unit in San Diego, Texas since it opened it's doors three years ago in bringing church services to the inmates every other Saturday. I also joined the local chapter of the National Music Club.

Now, I get to take the ASMS creed on the road as an active Texas A&M- Kingsville Javelina Booster, where Oscar is a Sophomore who is carrying a 3.75GPA. He is majoring in Music, Theory and Composition.

Oscar graduated from Highschool, with full honors and a 93.8 GPA. He composes music from Classical to Rock. He performs with the Orchestra, the Chamber quartet, the Jazz Band, the Choral, the Jazz Choir and with NEATO, the Christian Rock band he has been with for three years. He comes home on Sunday mornings in time to teach four and five year-olds Sunday School with me and then to sing in the Church Choir.

Victoria plays the Bassoon in the Band, sings Soprano in the Choir, and plays violin for Mariachi. Last year she placed in All-Region Band on the Bassoon and received a medal and a 1 placement for her solo in UIL Choir. She entered a Short Story, an original Musical Composition, and a Painting for the cultural enrichment program, Reflections, sponsored by PTA. Her story and her painting placed at the State level. She also sings in the church Choir.

Kathryn plays the Oboe in the Band, the violin for Mariachi and she plays Basketball and runs Track as a Lady Coyote. Last year she was one of a few Seventh graders who competed for the All-Region Band and she placed Fourth. She was awarded the Presidential Award for academics and was inducted into the National Honor Society. She was also awarded the Coyote Heart certificate for markedly improving her skills. She broke both her ankles last year through separate accidents and she came out of the casts and worked hard to catch up each time. She entered a Short Story, an original Musical Composition, and a painting for the Reflections program. Her Musical Compostion and her painting placed at the State level. She also sings in the church Choir.

It may appear as if last year was wonderful; just full of accomplishments and times of healing for us all. It was, but it wasn't.

We lost our home and all it's contents to a fire on June 9, 1996. We spent a full year rebuilding our home and our lives- again.

It was yet another time to struggle, but this time we did it on the shoulders of a community that never let us down. Our family, our church family, our friends and neighbors and community people rallied around us and helped us clear away the rubble and rebuild our home. It would have been too expensive to contract out the job, so we did the vast majority of the work ourselves.

Rebuilding the house was a long and difficult task to accomplish while we carried on school, church, business and family life. It was Oscar's Senior year and he managed to fit his studies, activities and helping with the house into every day.

We moved back into the house in May of 1997, a couple of weeks before Oscar graduated. We were tired, but we had accomplished a great deal together and we had a lot to be proud of.

I learned that my hands were not as fragile as I had thought they would be. They do hurt at times but it didn't keep me from being able to help on the construction site or from being able to redecorate the house once we were in it. Like in everything life casts at us, I just had to learn how to refocus.

I have gone back to sewing, baking, putting up shelves and typing on the computer within limits because my hands eventually do tell me when enough is enough. But I can look forward to being able to make prom dresses and wedding dresses, birthday cakes and wedding cakes and lots of Sunday dinners and Thanksgiving feasts in between.

I am, to the best of my abilities, upholding my pledge to be actively involved in the formation of my children's lives and in seeking to extend my abilities as a surrogate to any child who is in need of a Soccer Mom.

There is a huge Chapter of ASMS here in Alice. At the High School, I have seen Soccer Mom's give hugs, advice, encouragement and chastisements to kids, not their own, whom they have mentored since their Kinder days. The Band's concerts are attended by so many parents, grandparents and others that we have to listen to our own child's band and get up and leave to make room for the next Band's relatives to have a place in the Activity Centers of the Junior high and High School. Our School District is about to complete the construction of a 1200 seat Auditorium. Hopefully, by next year all the band parents will able to sit under one roof to listen to all the bands.

Alice, Texas, America. What a wonderful place to be!

@Jenni Vinson ....April 17, 1999