forms
wednesday, june 20, 2001
Yet another morning of babysitting kid A. I�m surprised to say I�ve grown into the situation quite well by now. It figures that I start to feel comfortable the day I go home. Still. A few years back i was terrified of being left alone in the company of a small child. I just had no clue what to do with them and was convinced something horrible would happen and I�d be to blame. I still refuse to carry babies for that very reason. (Why do so many, especially relatives, think that everybody wants to hold their baby and refuse to take no for an answer? Whenever a baby is shoved into my arms I stand there, frozen, awkwardly, looking desperately for some soggy aunt to pass the baby to.)
Now I boss them around and tickle them and tell them about dinosaurs and teach them how to sound out words like I�d grown up with 10 younger siblings. It�s so odd. Well, maybe not � I�ve spent a lot of time with my friend�s little boy, and last year i taught at a school for 6-13 year olds, so it actually makes sense that I�ve gotten better at it. Whatever.
I read that if your sibling is 8 or more years younger/older than you are, you count as an only child. My brother is 10 years older than me. We are so separate I have to stop and think before writing �1� on forms asking me if I have siblings. It�s more like I have an annoyingly close uncle. Because I also have a half-sister (11 years older) whom I have never met, I often stop and think even more. Would it be a lie if I wrote �2� on the form? I mean, biologically, we do share some genes? I spoke to her on the phone once; does that make it count? Forms are complicated.
It�s weird to have invisible parts of you that only come out on forms, or when you introduce yourself. Like my dad being from Bosnia. I always tell new people I meet about it, even though it really has very little bearing on me as a person beyond an odd last name. I still never fail to mention it. I�m so Swedish it hurts, I�ve never been to Bosnia, can�t speak the language but for a few lame phrases taught to impress relatives over the phone (and the requisite curses). My dad used to put me on the phone with people in Bosnia so I could parrot �Hello, how are you, I�m fine!� and then hand the phone back. And still I want to assert it as a fact meant to, I don�t know, say something more about me. Instead of �Jennie, 1 sibling, Swedish� I become �Jennie, 2 siblings, Swedish/Bosnian� as if she�s a more interesting person. I don�t know. Forms. Complicated.
Sent Kid A off to a friend so I can pack and shower. I'll make lunch and then we're off with the dog to a bus. After I take Kid A to his dad's work, me and the dog will hopefully make it onto a train headed home. I've never travelled with an animal before so I'm quite nervous, but knowing how sedate and well behaved she is, I think I'm more likely to poop in the train aisle than she is. I'm bringing baggies in case either happens.
Cin Cin! (It's midsummer this weekend so I'll be offline a bit. I'll be making flower wreaths to wear like a crown and bounce around a maypole like a frog. Don't ask. :) Happy midsummer!)
