I notice somewhere between the living room and the car that Gus won�t even look at me. He hasn�t spoken to me either, except to offer me a ride. We get into Melanie�s car and I think I have a way of getting back on his good side. I clear my throat and look over at him. He�s still looking straight ahead trying to avoid me.

�I was thinking, instead of always depending on one of your mom�s cars, that you should probably have your own.�

He doesn�t say anything; he just continues looking straight ahead. Well obviously he doesn�t understand what I am getting at, so I continue.

�I�m buying.�

Still nothing, Jesus! If someone had offered me a car when I was seventeen, I�d have been jumping for joy. Well, not literally, but I would have at least shown a little enthusiasm or some gratitude.

�Gus.� I see his jaw clench.

�What?�

�Did you hear me?�

�Yeah.� His voice is flat.

�I�m offering you a fucking car.�

�I heard you. I don�t want it.� I don�t believe this. I don�t fucking believe it.

�What?� My voice rises a bit and I wonder how it is that he can act like a fucking two year old.

�I said I don�t want it.� Now he just sounds like a petulant child.

�And why the hell not?� Ok so I�m starting to sound just like him.

He steals a quick look at me and I see only anger and hurt radiating from him.

�Because Dad. You can�t just buy me something to fix this.� Ok there it is. The line has been drawn. He�s not going to forgive me, ever.

�Fix what?� I ask my voice quavering only slightly.

�Never mind.� He shakes his head and rolls his eyes.

Well this is going great. The first conversation we�ve had in over a week and instead of talking about the fact that he�s angry with me, I offer him a car and piss him off even more. I probably should just leave it alone. He�s obviously going to hold onto this for a long time unless he can get me to do what he wants. I�m not stupid I know what he wants. I can�t do that, but I might as well try another tactic since we�re still a good ten minutes away from where I left the jeep.

�You haven�t returned any of my calls this week.�

He�s quiet for a long time and I�m pretty sure he�s not going to answer me. I fumble in my jacket pocket looking for my cigarettes. Finally I find one and light it. He sighs.

�At least roll down the window. Mom doesn�t let anyone smoke in here.�

I roll down the window and stare at the cigarette in my fingers. The burning ember creeps its way closer to my fingers as the gray ash grows longer. Eventually I just toss it out the window. Fine he doesn�t want to talk at all, and since that�s never been my strong suit anyway I give up.

�Stop the car.� I order Gus quietly.

�What?� He apparently hasn�t heard me.

�Stop the car.� I try again a little louder.

�Why?� Gus is looking at me skeptically.

�Just stop the car okay. I want to walk the rest of the way.�

I stare out of the open window. I close my eyes and let the morning sun warm my face. I�m feeling almost suffocated and I�m trying very hard to stay calm. Gus pulls into a parking lot and stops the car not a moment too soon. His voice stops me before I can get the door open.

�I�m sorry that I haven�t called you back. I wasn�t avoiding you. Well not really. I�ve been busy��

�Don�t worry about it.� I say as I open the door.

�Dad...� He pulls slightly on my arm trying to get me to look at him.

�I said don�t worry about it Gus.�

�Are you hungry?� He asks suddenly changing the subject.

�We could grab breakfast at the diner before we get the jeep.� He raises his eyebrows. I nod and close the car door. Just like that he lets me know he�s going to forgive me.

We get to the diner and settle into a booth in the back. After we�ve ordered Gus starts to talk about school and a few colleges that he�s thinking about applying to. Most of them are close to home, just a few hours away by car. A few are half way across the country.

�I just don�t know if I want to be that far away though.� He looks down at the table embarrassed.

�You know you can come home whenever you want on weekends and holidays.�

�Not if I go across the country.�

�Even if you go across the country you can be home in a few hours. That�s what airplanes are for.� He knows that I can afford to fly him home every damn weekend if he wants to be here.

�I guess.� He says softly. I notice how tired he looks. I hadn�t seen it before. Suddenly I remember that he�d just gotten in at four this morning. I look over at the clock on the wall and see that it�s almost nine o�clock now.

Our food arrives and we let a comfortable silence take over our booth. I�m sipping on my coffee when I notice Gus look over at the clock. His brow furrows and he puts his fork down. He wipes his mouth quickly with a napkin.

�I�m going to be late. I�ll be right back I have to make a call.� He stands up and I see him head toward the restroom. He has his cell phone out and he�s dialing as he heads out of my view.

I motion for the check and finish the last of my coffee before Gus returns. As he approaches the table I stand and head toward the register. He follows and I can�t help but wonder just where he needs to be so early on a Saturday morning.

He yawns a few times while I pay for breakfast and once more as he gets behind the wheel. As soon as I get in the car I take the keys out of his hand. He looks at me quizzically.

�Ok sonny boy. Just where are you heading after you drop me off?� I�m pretty sure that I know the answer, but I want to be sure.

�Don�t ask, okay?� He holds his hand out expecting me to drop the keys into his palm.

�I just asked.� He shuts his eyes and leans his head against the window.

�Do you know how hard I�ve been working at not saying Justin�s name all morning?� He asks quietly.

�The hospital huh?� He nods.

�You were just there a few hours ago.�

�I know but his mom has something to do today. She won�t be back until sometime tonight. She mentioned it last night and I offered to visit while she was gone. Can I have the keys back now?� He sighs and I shake my head no. �I called her from the diner and she�s already left. He�s asleep now� I want to get there before he wakes up.�

I don�t say anything more. I simply hand him back the keys. He starts the car and drives the five blocks to where I�d left my jeep last night. I get out and stand with the door open for a minute.

�Gus, go home and get some sleep. I�ll go sit with him for awhile. Okay?�

He tries to hide the huge grin that�s threatening to spill out all over his face. His eyes give him away though. I shake my head. Shit� What am I doing?

�Are you sure?�

�Yeah. I�m sure. You look like you could use a few more hours of sleep. I�ll stay until you get there.� I tell myself that I�m doing this for Gus. He does look exhausted. I shut the car door and he heads off with a wave.

To Be Continued.