Every afternoon after his first victory, Gus showed up after school and sent me on my way home for a few hours of sleep. It made him happy and I know it improved my attitude. I wasn�t as likely to get into a screaming match with Melanie over any of our usual shit. I didn�t get as aggravated at the doctors or nurses when they couldn�t tell me anything new and I didn�t feel like all of my emotions would explode at a moments notice.

I always brought back dinner for Gus and I when I�d return. We�d eat and he�d tell me about anything I�d missed while I was gone. Whether it was a visit from Emmett or a nurse coming in to check on Justin, he�d tell me every detail. That made it easier to be away, knowing I�d still be informed. Then he would head home for the night and I�d sit alone with Justin.

I sat next to his bed and usually found myself reading an article on brain injuries that Gus had printed out off of the computer, a book, a magazine, or a newspaper, whatever Gus had left there for me. Tonight was no different; I sat reading the newspaper when a voice startled me. It was low and raspy but familiar.

�Hey.�

I sat the paper down and looked around. I was alone with Justin. I stared at him.

�Hey.� He said it again. He winced a little and put his hand up near his throat.

�Hey.� I picked up the water pitcher next to his bed and poured a little into the plastic cup that was sitting on his tray. Tearing the paper off of a straw I put that into the cup and held it up to his lips. He sucked in a little and swallowed.

�Thanks.� He whispered.

�No problem. Let me know if you need more.�

He nodded and reached for my hand. We locked fingers and I just stared at him unsure of what to say.

�It�s about time you woke up.�

He gave a weak smile and closed his eyes. He looked exhausted but his eyes kept fluttering like he was trying so hard to keep them open. I squeezed his hand softly.

�Brian?�

�Yeah?�

�Why?�

�Why what?�

He looked at me and I could see he was searching for his words.

�Why?� He asked again.

�Why? Why are you here?�

He nodded

�Why did this happen?�

He nodded again and looked grateful to me for filling in his questions.

�You got hurt. You�re getting better. Shit happens, Justin.�

He nodded and closed his eyes.

It wasn�t until the next morning that I realized how hard of a time he was having communicating. I must have fallen asleep, because the first thing I can remember about the day was feeling my hand being lightly smacked. I looked up and saw Justin�s eyes pleading with me for something.

�What?� I said rubbing my eyes. He just looked over at the water pitcher.

�Thirsty?� I asked as I poured some water into the cup.

�Yes.� He sipped it again while I held it out to him. He did wrap his fingers around mine to show me that he could hold it himself, that he wasn�t helpless.

�You want me to let go?� He nodded.

�So how do you feel this morning?�

He looked at me and shrugged.

�Justin, talk to me.�

He didn�t say anything, just handed the cup back to me.

�Are you pissed off at me about something?� My own insecurities are shining through now. Why in the hell am I asking him that?

�No.�

�If I remember correctly you usually don�t shut up. Why are you being so quiet?�

He looked at me and I could see that he was agitated. He�d open his mouth as if he was going to say something, then thought better of it and closed it.

�Fine, don�t talk to me.� He was starting to piss me off. I sat back down and picked up the newspaper from the day before and pretended to read it. I watched him over the paper and saw he still wanted to say something, but wouldn�t.

�Just say it, Justin.� I sat the paper down on the floor.

That was met by silence

�Do you want me to go?� I stood up and I felt sick to my stomach the second that question escaped my lips. Was he going to ask me leave? After all the time I�d put in, after showing everyone that I care?

�No.� I looked into his eyes to make sure he meant that.

�Then say whatever it is that you want to say.� I�m preparing myself for something, not sure what. I�m sure it�s going to be something about how I�ve always treated him badly, thrown him away, didn�t care enough. I brace myself for it.

�Can�t.�

�Can�t or won�t?� I�m starting to figure this out. I�ve read all the articles Gus printed out for me. Justin wasn�t able to find his words; it was common for head injuries if I remembered the article right. I�d have to find that and read it again.

�Can�t.� He said and I could see tears forming in his eyes.

�You really can�t?� Why did I ask that? I know he can�t.

He shook his head from side to side. His tears started to flow down his cheeks.

�Shhhhh� Shhhhh�� I rubbed his arm trying to comfort him. �It�s okay Justin. Give it some time. We�ll talk to the doctor. I�m sure it�s temporary. It�s something you can work through okay?�

He nodded and rolled over on his side to face me. I leaned in and placed my forehead against his trying my best to comfort him. His change in breathing signaled me that he�d fallen asleep again. I pulled back some to look at him, and once I was sure that he was asleep I placed a soft kiss on his lips.

�Everything is going to be okay sunshine.� I whispered as I watched him sleep.

To Be Continued