| Humor |
| God is Watching Children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, "Take only one, God is watching." Moving through the line, to the other end of the table, was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A boy wrote a note, "Take all you want, God is watching the apples." |
| Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees a big bad wolf crouched down behind a log. "My, what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf!" The wolf jumps up and runs away. Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched behind a bush. "My what big ears you have, Mr. Wolf." Again the wolf jumps up and runs away. About two miles down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched down behind a rock, "My what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf." With that the wolf jumps up and screams, "Will you knock it off, I'm trying to poop." |
| Little Red Riding Hood |
| Acts 2:38 An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of religious service when she was startled by an intruder. As she caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables, she yelled, "Stop......Acts 2:38!" (turn from you sin) The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, "Why did you just stand there? All she did was yell a scripture to you." "Scripture?", replied the burglar. "She said she had an AXE and two 38's!" |
| Female Talking Parrots A lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem, I have these two talking female parrots, but they only say, "Hi, we are prostitutes. Do you want to have some FUN?" "That's terrible!" the preiest exclaims. "Bring your two talking female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots who I have taught to pray and read the Bible, then my parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn to pray and worship." So the next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priest's house. The priest's two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her female talking parrots in and the say, "Hi, we are prostitutes! Do you want to have some FUN?" One male parrot looks over to the ogher male parrot and says, "PUT THE BIBLES AWAY, LAD! OUR PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED!!!!!!! |
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