The most eligible bachelors of Morada helped raise funds for two local charities by participating in The First Annual Moradian Bachelor Auction on Sunday, June 4.
The idea came to Allison McGuire, who coordinated the event, shortly after Dr. Pritchard, the new plastic surgeon, began practicing on the island. With the recent popularity of cosmetic surgery, Allison's goal was to provide an outlet for some of the gentlemen to show off their new look and to help a good cause or two at the same time.
The line-up included these notable men: Jaymz Cournaya, Trevor Rage, Thom Ashcroft, Mark Grant, Matt Browne, Brenton Miller-O'Malley, Bryan Hit, Caesar Gonzales, Kain Skylord, George Reid, Brian Indiana, Alec Harlequin, Samson Spade, Tate deBain, Armand Chascour, Adonai Ferrera, Alouis DeLaGlynn, and Miles Bukowski. The top donation was $690 K by Boo Cassady for Alec Harlequin. When asked what made her bid so high, Cassady responded, "I guess it was the sheer rush of competition, that combined with the thought of Alec as my slave for a while was very uh..provoking."
When asked if she had a good time at the auction, Cassady replied, "Yes! I had a bunch of fun at the auction, it was wild seeing so many people crammed on the boardwalk." Several of the auction winners seemed to agree with Cassady about having fun. Miranda Myles said, "I had a wonderful time! It was tons of fun. Huge turnout. Good friends and lots of laughs. Allison did a great job of promoting it too."
Myles was not the only one to give credit to McGuire. Amanda Hunter said, "The auction was mostly good. Allison did a great job at organizing it and such.It was definitely a fun event." Also, Mark Grant said, "For that many people there, it went very smoothly. Allison did a GREAT job."
Many enjoyed the auction for different reasons. Kenzie Buffington said, "Hmmm, I'd say it was interesting seeing the insane amounts people were bidding. It was fun trying to guess who would go for the most." Similarly, Myles replied, "Watching the gals going crazy bidding!" Others enjoyed the stunning percussion solo performed by Bryan Hit. Boo Cassidy said, "I think my favorite part was uhm, Bryan Hit's little show." Amanda Hunter said, "Hmm listening to the guys offer to be slaves and such was probably the best part. Oh! and Trevor!... Trevor Rage. He came out and actually put himself up for bid!"
The bachelors chose to participate for various reasons. Mark Grant explained that his girlfriend Miranda Myles influenced him to sign up for the event. "We felt it was for a good cause. Seeing as to where the money was going. She is the greatest...She supported me through out this whole thing." Alouis DeLaGlynn said, "I thought eet waz a wonderfool idea, a good caoose, and was honored to be azked, zince I waz zo new here." Miles Bukowski candidly responded, "I had nothing better to do." Brenton Miller-O'Malley said, "Pretty much that I knew I'd get won by a pretty woman." Bryan Hit said, "Allison sweet-talked me into it. I'm a sucker for a pretty lady with big pleading eyes."
Some men expressed that they had some nervousness before the auction and all were either relieved or pleased at the outcome. Mark Grant said, "Well I guess I was more nervous about making a fool out of myself in front of all the women." Grant went on to say that his favorite part was when his turn was over. Bukowski said, "Actually, I was a little bit nervous because everybody had a good show, and I wasn't as prepared, so I had a lot to live up to. I was worried that I was going to fetch the lowest price having come in at the end, but I didn't, so everything turned out okay." DeLaGlynn said, "...weel, at leazt to THEENK off myzelf as zometheenk off a ladiez man...Zo I waz teekled to zee how many weemen plazed a bead on me." Miller-O'Malley said that his favorite part was, "The part where I pulled in 85k"
When asked if they would participate in an another auction next year, the auction winners responded positively. Cassady said, "Yup.I don't really have anything to do with my money anyways, and by next year I'll probably have a lot more to spend. Crazy me will do it, too." Hunter said, "As in buy another bachelor? probably" Buffington replied, "Yes, definately...and I'd like to add that I hope they have a bachelorette auction!" Myles said, "I would attend for sure. I am kind of shy to stand up there and wiggle my hips however."
Other gentlemen agreed that they would participate again with the condition that the feelings of a future parter are considered. Miller-O'Malley said, "Well...if I'm not married, ya" DeLaGlynn said, "Oh, mais oui! Havink all zoze wemmen droolink and cheerink and gaspink and fightink offer me while I preened? That ees effery manz dream, non? Zo I got to liff owt a fantasy, not geet myzelf eembarrazzed, and help owt a caoose I theenk ees wonderfool! What waz not to like?; Zertain moi! Eef they weel haff me!; And eef I am eenvolved weeth eenyone, eef ZHE weel let me..." Hit said, "Well, it will depend on what's going on in my life, and also whether or not they have crowd control for the thing. I pretty much learned from this one that I may be able to fight off thugs and bandits, but women are a completely different animal!" Grant qualified his statement saying, "I am sure I would as long as it was for a good cause."
The $2.5+ million auction proceeds were donated to the Roger Johnston Tourist Information Center and to the Humane Society of Morada.
The Roger Johnston Tourist Information Center, named for the architect responsible for the design of many island attractions, is the headquarters of the island guides who offer hospitality to the new tourists and help them find their way around. The guides also hold monthly events, such as the recent bachelor auction, to foster a sense of community. According to mentor society history, "Certified Island Guides pledge and promise to help newcomers and seasoned tourists alike further understand and appreciate the history, the attractions, and the mysterious allure of the island paradise called Morada."
The Humane Society of Morada is an independent nonprofit organization dedicated to the rescue of needy strays and to prevent and relieve suffering of animals.
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