It wasn’t until my daughter Jenna was born that I understood the true meaning of life.  I was awestruck and so in love from the moment I first saw her.  Jenna was not only a part of my life now; she was a part of my soul.  She was born a perfect and healthy little girl and weighed 8 pounds, 11 ounces and was 21 inches long.  I recall how nervous I was to bring her home.  I had always taken care of children in my family was so comfortable around babies, but things were different.  This one was mine.  There are no words to describe how happy I was to finally have my own baby to love and cherish.   

    Jenna was such a happy baby.  She always had a smile on her face and I never saw a child get so much gratification out of making other people laugh. Her desire to make me and my husband laugh and giggle is something I carry with me always.  She always wanted us to be happy.  My grandfather made funny noises at her and very early on Jenna would mimic them.  She loved her great grandfather.  So much, in fact, that he was the only other person besides me and my husband that she called by name. She called him “baba” which was her interpretation of “Pa Pa”. 

    One of my most cherished memories is the time I spent with her before she would take a nap or go to bed.  Jenna would sit and cuddle with me all the while holding my fingers in hers.  It was her security blanket of sorts.  She would rub the tops of my fingers with hers until she fell asleep.   One of Jenna’s greatest loves was animals.  Dogs in particular.  She called them, “Woo woo.”  I have never seen a child become so enthusiastically charged over seeing a dog.  Walks through the park were always comical and passersby couldn’t help but smile and laugh when they saw Jenna carrying on the way she did. 

    Jenna also had a love affair with snow.  She never got to really go out and play in it, but she loved it nonetheless.  The last word she learned was “nome.”  That meant snow and snowman.  Her dad would bring the snow inside for Jenna to play with.  We had to laugh because this wonderful child who would share anything with anyone all of a sudden forgot her manners and wouldn’t let you near it.  There was no sharing her nome!  Once it melted, she would point to the door and speak her little grunting noises indicating that she wanted more.  Of course her daddy couldn’t resist and always got her more.  Another of Jenna’s antics was to jump like a kangaroo.  She loved Winnie the Pooh and she thought it quite funny when daddy showed her all of the characters because when he got to Roo he would start jumping up and down like a kangaroo.  This became Jenna’s favorite thing to do.  Jump like a kangaroo!!!    

            In the days leading up to Jenna’s death, she was extra silly.  She stayed up later than usual to play and we just didn’t have the heart to put her to bed.  We were having too much fun.  We even managed to video tape some of it.  Sometimes I feel like she almost knew and wanted to spend her last days with us being happy and loving.    

On Friday, January 10th, 2003 Jenna passed away while taking a nap at her daycare.  At hospital the doctors managed to resuscitate her but it was too late.  She had suffered brain death.  Approximately 32 hours later, on January 11th, while laying in my arms, my sweet little girl slipped from this world into the next.  She was surrounded by our loving family and those who had loved her from the moment she was born.  

After almost 2 ½ years and much research, Jenna’s death has been ruled SUDC.  Sudden Unexplained Death In Childhood.  That means that there is no explanation for what took my sweet little girl.

            I was given this most beautiful and precious gift only for a short while.  Jenna was 16 months and 3 weeks old when she passed away.  Every day that we had together was such a blessing and I gained so much from her while she was alive.  Now, even in death, she is still teaching me.  The ache and pain in my heart is a feeling I will carry with me for the rest of my life.  Not a day goes by where I don’t miss my Jenna.  What I wouldn’t give to hold her one more time.   

                           


All Content on these pages is to Jenna's Mommy.