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| When people live their lives with dignity and integrity, as my stepsister Debby and her family do, we assume their reward will be good health and long life. But in November of 2001, my 33-year-old stepsister, Debby, received the news that she had an aggressive form of breast cancer. |
| For Debby |
| Certainly it made no sense. She and her family definitely did not deserve to go through this. Not only that, but she had none of the risk factors associated with developing breast cancer. But at least there was some good news. By all appearances, the cancer was still at a very treatable stage. A lumpectomy and a biopsy of her lymph nodes indicated that the cancer had not metastasized to other parts of her body. With some aggressive chemotherapy and radiation, the doctors hoped the cancer would be gone. The chemo progressed as planned. Months passed and as far as I knew, everything was going smoothly. It seemed Debby would live a long life after all. Maybe her illness would be just a scary reminder of the precious value of every day we spend here on Earth. Following chemotherapy, many patients experience a few days of pain. Debby was no exception. Only her pain lasted longer than a few days. Since her chemotherapy was pretty much complete anyway, the doctor decided not to give her any more treatments. Hopefully Debby's symptoms would go away then. Instead, they got worse. On Saturday, June 29th, Debby's husband, Danny, took her to the emergency room. They hoped it was an infection. They tested for everything. Finally, they did a scan. Somehow, mysteriously, defying the chemotherapy, defying all sense whatsoever, the cancer had spread into her pelvic bone, up her backbone, and into her liver. That was the pain she had felt. It seems weird to remember now, but it really was that sudden. Just like that, the illusion ended. The health we all thought had been restored to Debby, the long life she deserved to lead -- was not to be. I thought of everyone: |
| I thought of Sandi -- Debby's mother and my stepmother -- who eight years ago had to cope when her son suffered an accident that left him quadriplegic and in constant danger of potentially fatal infections -- and now this. |
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| I thought of Debby and Danny's two children, Andy and Allie -- ages 14 and 13 respectively -- whom I had taken bowling or to the zoo or to the bookstore so many times. They were just entering one of the most vulnerable times of their lives -- and now this. |
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| I thought of Debby's husband, Danny, the kind of husband and father that all husbands and fathers would do well to model themselves after. Debby and Danny had just celebrated their 15th wedding anniversary on June 20th -- and now this. |
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| I thought of Debby herself, the epitome of someone who lived life to the fullest, who now had to face the possibility of great suffering and the near-certainty of her own death. |
| The doctors told Danny that nine months was the most optimistic time frame. Understandably, Debby and Danny decided they needed some time with each other and their kids before they could face visitors. Perhaps a few weeks would help. On July 12th, they learned they might not have even that much time. Debby developed tremors and was not able to hold a glass in her hand. Fearing the cancer had spread to her brain, the doctors ordered an MRI. Fortunately the MRI looked negative, but the doctors had more bad news. Debby's new symptoms were sure signs of liver failure. She had a week at best. |
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| To "For Debby", p.2 |
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| To Jenna's Home Page |
| May 18, 1968 - August 12th, 2002 It is over. The pain has ended. We are so thankful that her passing was peaceful and with as little pain as possible, but we will miss her more than words are ever sufficient to express. |
| Debby's life is an inspiration to us all. Thank God for every day of life you live and for every moment of health you enjoy. |
| For another tribute page to Debby, as well as ways to help Debby's family, please visit Danny's sister's page. |
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