THOUGH DREAMS can be deceiving
like faces are to hearts
they serve for sweet relieving
when fantasy and reality lie too far apart
- slow like honey, fa |
|
recent
jelly / jelly archives
saturday, october 27
9:05 PM
i'm sitting on the pot today, and i'm flipping through the reader's digest. you know how they have those 3 or 4 joke columns, that readers submit? well, i found out you get paid like $400 if they use your joke or true anecdote! i seriously need to take advantage of this! lots of fun things happen to me! all the time! but as i sat to write them down, i couldn't think of one. help me? guys? help... please?
wednesday, october 24
3:40 PM
it's so freaking HOT. what happened to my cool weather just a few weeks ago? it's the last half of october! it's not sposed to be this hot! i want to wear my scarves i knitted over the summer. and hats, and thermals under my my knotty, chunky sweaters. i want to eat steaming bowls of chowder and drink hot cocoa in front of an outdoor bonfire.
instead i'm sweating in my t-shirts, drinking frozen smoothies trying to cool off in front of the a/c vents. and christmas is right around the corner.
friday, october 19
3:31 AM
screw california, italy is calling. jessica informed me of an open fellowship position this summer at the school i studied at in tuscany. this will be my 3rd, no 4th time to apply? what do i need to do to get this damn job?? beg? bribe? sexual favors? (i'm kidding, calm down) i think an application packet is in order, with enclosed essays, design, photos and thesis plans. maybe i'll make a book. i will knock their socks off.
wednesday, october 17
11:25 PM
gorgeous day today. i think i do need to move to california, i would completely indulge myself in those gloriously mild, sunny days. i'd probably end up getting skin cancer, cause i'd want to be outside, naked, all the time.
speaking of california (and naked) happy birthday dolcezza mia! look for a special delivery very soon.
in other news, mikey still has not recovered, and i think the house still smells of pork fat.
tuesday, october 16
1:28 AM
i walk downstairs today to start on dinner, and mikey is in the kitchen staring down this unopened package of smoked bacon.
what are you doing?
i'm trying to decide if i should cook this in the microwave, frying pan or oven.
just use the frying pan.
i don't think we have one big enough.
sure it's big enough.
no, not for the whole package. the entire package. i'm going to eat the whole thing.
why?
i don't know... a challenge.
that's like 20 slices. are you high?
no. i'm going to do this. [fries all 20 slices in the pan]
[i watch him walk to the table with a platter of 20 shriveled pieces of crispy pork fat; he starts eating; he gets to bacon slice number 9]
i think my heart has stopped
i think your brain too.
yeah, perhaps. what was i thinking?
for dinner, mom, dad and i had a spinach and crumbled goat cheese salad with warm bacon vinaigrette. mikey just had a spinach salad. we still had 4 slices of bacon leftover. the dogs loved it.
saturday, october 13
1:00 PM
last night was the first night i'd relived a lot of what happened with troy, in a really long time. over time i've tried to just forget about it, and it was working. it's scary how your emotions all come back with just as much intensity as the first time around. i don't feel that talking about, and thinking and re-examining it all is really the answer, it doesn't seem to get me anywhere, just leaves me asking more questions, questions that usually start with why?
i guess i'm just looking for some acceptance without the troy stigma which seems to follow me everywhere. it's like i'm missing a limb, and everyone that knows me knows it and has to remind me and ask me where the limb is and why i don't have it and when am i gonna get a new one, and when i fall it's always because this missing piece of flesh has made me lose my balance. but no matter how intense these revisiting of emotions become, i don't want the limb. i'm happy being an amputee, and i'm learning to balance without it. and if i fall, it's not cause i'm missing something, it's cause i've reached a new obstacle to learn to hurdle over. i just hope i don't kick anyone in the head along the way.
thursday, october 11
5:35 PM
last night was amazing. dave's impression of triumph couldn't have been more perfect. perhaps it was the alcohol that made me so in awe of his hysterical talents. we walked the drunks home to christy's to sober up and windowshopped on the way, breathed in the warm night air, laughed at jo's abhorration for earthworms (3 hearts!!!), and played in the traffic. i'm thinking i can grow to love houston after all. the museum district is actually quite lovely. perhaps i just need to find a job and a nice little place by the menil and the pubs and the shops and never go outside of the loop (the beginnings of suburbia). i think i will need to invest in some decent furniture too.
wednesday, october 10
6:56 PM
for those of you that signed my guestbook, first thank you, but i've changed guestbook providers. please sign it again? i'll love you for it.
3:48 PM
i am 26 today. i feel old. i'm forgetting things already. i'm having family dinner out tonight at someplace lovely and then later i might be meeting some friends at rudyard's for drinks and maybe a band if any are playing. meet us out there if you are in town and come celebrate.
2:00 AM
check out some lomos from the two rolls of film that weren't stolen. thanks john!
tuesday, october 9
8:28 PM
i have a guestbook... sign it.
monday, october 8
9:38 PM
it's wonderful to live in america, where we can pack and take off across the country whenever we want, and we have good, safe roads to travel on and beautiful things to see along the way. i never imagined arizona was so beautiful, and nature so powerful.
my seductive powers worked and we stopped in the city of angels for a few days. kev's house is looking good, and kev was too :) then, on a whim, we decided to drive up the coast to cisco for a few days as a birthday treat... (yes my birthday is in two days... supposedly these next several years are supposed to be the best years of my life. i hope so.) but unfortunately the car was broken into and all of my stuff was taken. i was forced to spend most of my time with policemen and buy underwear at the kmart. also, as a result of the burglary, my plans to meet a friend fell through, and i was rather saddened by that. although my small collection of cameras and clothes is gone and a few hundred dollars worth of film as well, i still thoroughly enjoyed my trip and the drive back down the coast to lovely san diego. and i am glad to be alive and living in america.
more
jelly please
|
|
