ok, back to the 21st century. it rained again today. rain is just lovely. mikey and i opened up the window and sat on the sill with our legs hanging out and watched the drizzly day turn into evening. we talked about grace and nathaniel and how lovely and perfect they are for each other. the time grace told me he finally kissed her. the god awful, ugly necklace he bought her and how she wore it anyway, everyday. the time mikey grew a crush on grace and wrote her a love poem. how we danced our asses off at the wedding. what their kids will be like. what we will do to persuade them to name their babies after us.

i love being home. i love being twenty minutes from sis. i love having mom cook yummy food and doing dishes with dad. it's even nice having a youngster around i can pal around with and give advice to. of course i've only been home for 2 weeks. we'll see how i feel in about one month's time with no job, no cute boys, no car. this might mean i will be trapped in my room for days on end, surfing the web. my butt will make a permanent indention in my bed. mikey will have to slip me 2 dimensional food under my door, like velveeta singles and thinly sliced ham.

no one if i can help it. (smirk)

i don't like to see you like this.

like what?

pining

grace always thinks cause i kiss a boy, and we remain friends, i'm pining after him. how come in her mind, he's not the one pining after me? i've had my fare share of piners. i'm not the one that pines. ok maybe a few times. but sometimes i just like a good, sloppy lip smooching, pine-free. and besides, grace is just nuts. she's living your atypical romance story. 2 boyfriends her entire life. marries her first one, who happens to be her, get this, junior high sweetheart. who does this? marriage is overrated. maybe.

should i get married? should i be good?
astound the girl next door with my velvet suit and... and...

and faustaus hood...

you always did have that poem memorized... figures

i'm not indecisive

we are having this conversation soley because of your indecisiveness

we are having this conversation because i like to know every option i have and because i like to contemplate

...sometimes more than the decision.

after 6 months of no steady work, my life savings has quickly dwindled down to 4 digits thanks to my champagne and caviar lifestyle. reluctant to resign my lease, i have left austin to move in with my parental units and my brother in law, mikey [what do you call your sister's husband's brother?]. i will miss austin dearly. swimming in barton springs. family style at the salt lick. dinner parties at tobias'. sex on my roof. movies at the drafthouse. japanese stickers from toy joy. tubing down the guadalupe. curra's conchinita pibil. turbodog at the showdown. instead of these things i've spent this past week in houston moving my bed around and cleaning out my closet trying to decide whether to throw away my fashion plates or my new kids on the block stickers in order to make room for my hefty collection of hot threads and jimmy choo's [thanks to 2 years in nyc].

i am in this strangely reflective state of panic. i don't know what to do, where to go. i had the opportunity to move to los angeles, rent free, lots of sushi and movie stars! but i turned it down. i don't think i could handle having to be self conscious all 24 hours of the day. and i hear there are earthquakes in california. returning to nyc was another option. but i've only just left there and haven't fully gotten my fix of open texas skies that i love so much.

things i suppose i can spend my time doing:
• redecorate the house
• visit the fine collection of museums houston has
• play older sis
• cook dinner every night for the fam
• knit some scarves for the winter
• find a cheesy photographer to assist
• take an italian class
• masturbate