Parents shouldn’t be so strict!

Don’t you hate it when you’re not allowed to go out for the night because you have to babysit your little sisters or you have to do the household chores? These are the types of responsibilities that some parents feel should be a necessity for their teen. However the teen feels as though their parents have made them into the household slave. For many teenagers, this feeling is part of their every day life. Life becomes overwhelming and depressing for a teenager who constantly has to stay at home on their weekends in order to complete their chores. A teenager should be allowed by their parents to have a decent amount of "free" time to explore their adolescence. Instead, this child feels as though they are living an isolated life away from freedom. A teenager shouldn’t have to be tied down by a leash by his or her parents who have decided that their child isn’t allowed to engage in social life with their peers. Having a secluded life, with no time to enjoy spending with your friends can cause an emotional bomb to build up in you that will one day explode and cause the teen to rebel. The revenge that these heartbroken teenagers choose to make can become so extreme that in the end, the whole family will be greatly affected.

When teenager’s parents have restricted them from going out with their friends, the teenager will begin to feel a sense of isolation, and he or she will eventually become emotionally disturbed. The average teenager with strict parents feels isolated because their parents have chosen them to become into what often times they relate to as the household "slave." In other words, the teens feel like their parents are obligating them to do chores that most kids their age do not have to worry about. In many cases, the teenager feels different from their peers. "Why can’t I go out with my friends?" and "Why can’t I have fun like an average person?" and "Why do I have to be cleaning my house or babysitting my sisters while other people my age are out dancing?" are the types of questions this teen may ponder. As time passes, the kids will go to sleep dreaming of one day escaping the reality of their secluded life. They cry themselves to sleep wishing that they will one day have freedom. Many kids who have to live through a life like this will feel emotionally abused by their parents who have chosen this type of life for them. Often these kids feel as though their parents don’t love them enough. The reasons as to why the parents choose this type of life for their teen varies from family to family. In some families it is just the way they might have been raised. In other families, they feel that the teen will gain a stronger sense of responsibility. Some over-protective parents feel that they shouldn’t allow their child to go about because they feel that the more they let their teens go out, the more their teens will be exposed to the peer pressure dealt with in the average adolescent life. However, what the parents don’t realize is that their type of parental behavior is causing their child to build a slight hatred towards his or her parents since they feel that the parents are to blame for their self-anger. As a result, these teenagers will often face many psychological problems because they have had to live a life away from freedom. Many have to seek professional help from a psychologist or counselors who can help them escape their lugubrious feelings. When a young adult has to constantly hear comments from their friends saying, "Gosh, why are your parents so strict?" or, "I would hate to be you!" these teenagers become angry. These isolated kids know that there is nothing they can do to change their lives because their parents are in complete control of it. The anger can cause many problems. They will have difficulties in school, meeting people, keeping friends, and many more. A teenager will be curious to take part in any activities. But, as long as they will be escaping reality, they are willing to take major risks and try it all. A lot of times, the kids feel so overwhelmed with their feelings of depression and anger, that they even consider suicide as an option. It is obvious that "escape" is the teenager’s only desire.

When a teenager has lived their entire live with these feelings of abuse, their strength to take it all in will at one time collapse. This usually happens when they get into high school. This is the time when kids are really exploring life and living it to the fullest. Many times a high school teenager will feel as though they are old enough to take control of their lives and they do whatever they want. High school is a time when kids are pressured into trying drugs, experimenting with sex, and drinking alcohol. In many instances the teenagers who find interests in these kinds of activities are those who have had strict parents, which didn’t allow their teen to hang out with their friends for most of their lives. These adolescents are now looking for ways to escape. Drugs, alcohol, partying, and running away are just a few of the choices that these kids make in order to revenge. The choices made by these abused teenagers are those that will lead a person into a bad road towards their future. The kids may end up in jail, rehabilitation facilities, or the streets dealing drugs. In the views of the kids, their parents are to blame. However, when asked, the parents will say, "I chose to keep my child at home because I thought it would have been best for him-or her to be away from the violence that can occur in the life of a teenager." In any case, the kid would have taken revenge by participating in "bad" activities that they had been excluded from all along. At this point, the teenager wouldn’t have cared what they had gotten themselves into; all they think about is having fun. If the parents had previously allowed their child to have enough free time to spend with their friends, the child would never have felt the need to revenge at all. With a decent amount of free time, a teenager would not have been more curious to try out bad activities. Hence, a teenager who has been out more gains a better sense of responsibility because they have had a greater opportunity to learn how to be a civilized teenager. Their experience at parties allows them to see what can happen if you get "too drunk", and therefore they will know not be naïve and waste their time doing those kinds of bad things. The kid’s revenge gives proof to their parents that their choice of life for their child was the wrong one. It finally gives the parents the feeling of guilt for having to put their child through that type of life. If the problems with drinking, drugs, and sex have occurred in the teenager’s life, the whole family is affected. These problems cause the family to become destroyed in many ways. Once these kids have ended up the way they are, the parents feel guilty. "Now" is when they try to help out. Before, the parents had thought that it would have been best for their child to have minimum exposure to the violence faced in teenage life. However, since their child has now chosen to revenge and has gotten into much deeper problems, the parent feels the need to help out and show sympathy towards their teen. The parent feels resentment and wishes that they could turn back time, so that they would have made wiser choices on parenting. In addition, chaos tends to build up in the family because one parent may be willing to help while the other has already given up. Never ending fights may occur because of the consistency of blaming each other. Also the kid who has now adapted the "bad" life might not want anything to do with their parents. Throughout the years, the hatred could grow increasingly to the point where the kid wants no connection to the family. Also the family faces many problems because if there are any younger siblings involved, then they are probably most affected by the situation. They will have to grow up seeing these kinds of problems occur in the family, and many times it scars them for life. The older sibling can influence the younger sibling, and can many times use the excuse, "my brother did this so why can’t I." The younger siblings do not know what to expect of a civil family and they grow up living in a dysfunctional family. It’s unfortunate that these cases exist, and that’s why we need to take them into considerations and learn from these experiences.

In conclusion, it is obvious that when parents are too strict, the child will somehow get revenge. It is unfortunate, that some teenagers must grow up living a secluded life, but we must all learn from our mistakes. Seeing that these things are preventable, we must all take into consideration the freedom of a teenager. Yes, it is important to restrict your teenager from certain things, but never to the point where the teenager feels hatred and depression. By no means should a child feel the need to revenge, because their parents should know better than to enslave them. Although the parents think with all their might, that they are doing the right thing for their child, they must really dig deeply to try to understand the position that they are putting their kids through.