| Book Excerpts |
| The Four Agreements - Don Miguel Ruiz 1. Be Impeccable With Your Word Speak with integrity.Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love. 2. Don't Take Anything Personally Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering. No, I don't take it personally. Whatever you think, whatever you feel, I know is your problem and not my problem. It is the way you see the world. It is nothing personal, because you are dealing with yourself, not with me. Others are going to have their own opinion according to their belief system, so nothing they think about me is really about me, but it is about them. 3. Don't Make Assumptions Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life. 4. Always Do Your Best Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstances, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret. |
| Relationship Rescue - Dr. Phil McGraw As jarring as this sounds, the truth is that being in love is not like falling in love. So many times I have listened to people in relationships say, "Well, Dr. McGraw, I just don't feel like I'm in love anymore." They tell me the spark is gone in their relationship. After I question them for awhile, I start to understand what that person is really saying: I don't feel the way I did when I was first falling in love." What this person is genuinely missing is that dizzy feeling of infatuation that takes place at the very start of the relationship. This is what I mean when I say most people don't know how to measure success in a relationship. Most people have a distorted view of what love is. Just because feelings change doesn't mean that those feelings have to be less rewarding. Isn't it possible that there are a number of emotions and ways of experiencing them that, though different, are all equally rewarding? What once was dizzying and exciting and thus very positive can well become deep and secure - which is also very positive. Over the years I've talked to young couples who have met and fallen head over heels in love with another, and they're thinking about marriage, and they genuinely believe that "love" will get them past any future pitfalls or disasters in their relationship. I remember talking to a woman about a man to whom she was recently engaged and she was honest enough to bring up several problems that were bothering her - not the least of which were his inability to hold a job and his abuse of alcohol. I said, "So why are you sure you want to marry him?" "Dr. McGraw, I can't help it. I'm in love with him." Clearly, she didn't have a clue what love was. She was in heat, mesmerized by the tingle that is so common to "phase one" infatuation, oblivious to the fact that his dysfunctions would cheat her out of depth and security in "phase two." The myth too many people believe is that the ecstatic emotion that one feels when first falling for someone new is real love. It is only the first stage of love, and it is humanly impossible to remain in that stage. |
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| In The Meantime - Iyanla Vanzant There will come a time in your life when all you can do is love. You will have done all you can do, hurt all you can hurt, given up so many times love is the only way in or out. |