"Getting Closer"
This is a poem about where I am in 2002. I know the things I need to do to make myself a better person, but I have no clue how to get there. I can see the end, but I am stuck.
I can idealize others
but not myself
And I can tear down others
in order to feed myself
It's the irony of looking for love from others
when it has to come from inside
Of always choosing the painful route
when what's easy is where truth resides

I keep waiting for a big change
but maybe it's small steps over time
The light's at the end of the tunnel
but I can't tell if it's getting closer

I still base my opinion of myself
on how others see me
And I still fear rejection
from those who treat me tenderly
It's the irony of trying to please others
when being yourself is enough
Of having to see that
you are what you desire from others

Sometimes things have to fall apart
so we can build them back the way we want them
The light's at the end of the tunnel
but I can't tell if it's getting closer
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