Jen's Thoughts
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Wednesday, December 22, 1999
7:15 pm
Grandpa just died. I was so peaceful about talking about how he was until now. Not until I had to say it. My grandpa just died. I want to be strong. I was until this point. It just hit me like a ton of bricks and I am at home sitting here trying to be constructive. I saw him yesterday. He had eaten 1/4 of his breakfast, but ate or drank nothing else for the past 3 days. God please tell me he is in heaven. Lord, I trust you that he is. I feel peace about it. I love you grampa. I was blessed to have you in my life. When I saw grampa yesterday, his eyes would follow gramma and I around the room, and he was squeezing our hands. He would try to talk, but we couldn't understand him unless he said yeah, or something short. I have been praying for him for a long time. I knew this eventually had to happen. I asked God that he wouldn't be in pain. He could have been bedridden for months. I am thankful he wasn't. I will always remember him as the grampa who took me to Yadro's shop when I was a little girl. Ever since then I have loved the smell of auto shops and gasoline. He taught me how to ride the moped. I still have pictures, somewhere. I still have my snoopy tackle box and my fisher's certificate from when we went fishing all those times. Even if I wouldn't have had all those things, I always have memories. He loved snoopy. He was holding a stuffed Christmas Snoopy when we visited with him yesterday. The last time I saw him was 23 hours ago. I am grieved and relieved at the same time. I am glad he did not suffer. He slowly dozed off, and then was gone. No pain, suffering, coughing, just peaceful. I was singing on Monday night. Silent Night, over and over again. I felt like I was singing a lullabye to grampa. Even though I wasn't there with him, I thought that maybe God would let grampa know that I was singing for him. When grandma and I went there yesterday, there was a man there singing and playing the guitar. Gramma went in to one of the rooms and even sung with him. The man came in and said "I figured one for the road. How about Silent Night?" We sung Silent Night for grandpa. I struggled to hold back tears because the song was just perfect for the time. Sleep in heavenly peace, sleep in heavenly peace.
Silent Night, grampa.
Love,
Jennie
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