Tuna Tuna Ve Haf Tuna

There are certain things that are hard to come by in this country, like peanut butter, tuna, soy sauce, diet soda, menthol cigarettes, American candy, good hip hop music, good underwear, etc. Sometimes it is found out by the American community that something's available and usually with the "shot poker" (Armenian for very small) Peace Corps salary most volunteers can not buy it or it is considered a luxury item.

Some facts: There are 60 Peace Corps volunteers in country (about); besides us there are embassy personnel, aid organization personnel and a random American doing business or an Armenian-American missing the homeland. The dollar is worth about 555 Armenian Drams; Peace Corps volunteers get about $6/day. So when peanut butter is 1800 dram, we aren't eating it besides the fact that it is only available in the embassy commissary which we have to pay a $5/6mo. membership fee (yeah I am bitter). So when you find a bargain and it smells anything like home you better act quick!!

Now for some of us who are not too much into meat, finding things to cook, places to eat out, or being a guest at an Armenian's house can be hard. One reason is that meat in the market is sold in conditions that would make quite a few vegetarians out of our meat and potatoes countrymen. Meat is also cut in a very primitive way: by ax. Bone and all is chopped on a wood stump causing the random and guaranteed extra bone chips to float around in the actually somewhat tasty dishes. You can sit back and watch when a meat meal is served how many people will "find" one or a few.

So the alternative you come to if you wanted a good protein source would be tuna. Didn't really love it at home but some things taste a lot better when you cant have them for a while. Tuna: the prize of the rich, anywhere from 900 dram to 1200 dram and there really is no limit.

Well one day my good friend Brooke and I were walking down the street and quite enthusiastically she turns to me and says "I found tuna for 240 dram a can!!!!" This is big news. "I am going back and I am going to buy a whole lot more," she couldn't wait. I was thinking damn I want some tuna too. We briefly tried to think of a way to exploit the source selling it for 500 dram to our fellow volunteers, oh well, then we figured making a profit while in Peace Corps is against the rules. Then we felt real bad and thought well maybe we can just keep it secret.

Well my mouth can not stay shut when it is big news like TUNA!!! (What have I become!!!!!) So word got out but I am ahead of myself. She takes me into a nearby shuka (market) scanning the displays. She finds it and the man standing in the booth smiles. She points to the tuna cans and says "Yes uzumem yeresoon hat, che kani hat unek?" (I want 30, no how many do you have?) She bought him out and he was sure to tell us that tomorrow there will be more!

Brooke had found a gold mine. I look at the can, yep tuna. "Not for sale; Provided by the Country of Japan for the UN World Food Program" I just shook my head and we stood there while he loaded us down with it. I felt kind of bad but think about this: Armenians probably opened a can and said "What the hell....??" And if we didn't buy it who was going to. Well maybe they didn't say that considering you can get sturgeon pizza and I have been served caviar for breakfast.

One day after enjoying an Armenians versus Americans Softball Game (Which I hit a home run in; first in my life! oh of course I played for the Armenians we lost 3-4.) Janice a city mate of Brooke's came up to her very slyly and said in a low voice "I heard you know where to get cheap tuna..." Brooke my tuna pusherWOman!!! Tuna is now up to 250/can and when our friends Anne and Eric were walking through the same shuka a man jumps out and says "TUNA! Ve haf Tuna!!" Thank you World Food Program. You have provided a lesson in small business enterprise to Armenians and tuna salad to poor volunteers.