I'm sure if he knew about it Jason would support this gallant campain:

Save the Starving Terrapins Campain


What are terrapins?
Terrapins are tiny turtles...AND THEY'RE DYING!!!
Why are the terrapins dying?
Well, the terrapins are starving.
Why are the terrapins starving?
Well, you see, terrapins are terribly adorable creatures. They're just like turtles, only smaller. In fact, they are turtles. Very small ones. So, like puppies and kittens, they appeal to a larger audience than their larger couterparts. Lots of parents think it's fun to bring them home to their children. And so begins the tiny terrapins journey of death.
Terrapins are picky eaters. They eat only tiny worms in the very beginning stages of development. Most people do not have access to these types of worms as they only exist in the frightening depths of rivers where only the bravest swimmers venture.
Many terrapin owners find Cheerios and red meat to be a suitable diet for the tiny terrapins. First of all, terrapins are afraid of red meat. No one knows for certain why, but some speculate it is because it triggers horrible memories of the Great Terrapin Massacre of 85, when several baby terrapins perished in a boating accident as well as the brave adult terrapin resucue team that tried valiantly to save them.
So as a result, many terrapins refuse to eat in their new domesticated environment. No worms + hungry terrapins = mass starvation deaths among the terrapin population.
Here are some alarming statistics:
-1 of every 4 terrapins taken out of their natural environment will suffer from severe depression and require some sort of conseling or medication, which as of yet is unavailable to the terrapin species.
-3 of every 5 terrapins will find their new aquatic homes to be tastelessly decorated with little resemblance to the under sea world.
-Every terrapin reports feelind extreme animosity towards their owners and feel the inclination to bite them 75% of the time.
So as you can assertain from these facts, the terrapin opression must end. If you wish you may become an "Undercover Terrapin Investigator". It's really fun and you can help out your tiny buddies. Just simply get your hands on some fake glasses and a fake mustache and go to your nearest pet store. Attempt to buy a terrapin proclaiming loudly: "I can't WAIT to get this little fella home and feed him RED MEAT". If they do not try to stop you from purchasing the little guy then this is an unsafe terrapin environment and you must remove all terrapins from the premesis immediately. If they try to stop you just flash your Official Undercover Terrapin Investigator Badge and say "This never happened" sternly to the owner so they know that you mean business and the Save the Starving Terrapins Campain is not a force to be reckoned with.
So, friends of the terrapin, be alert when it comes to the tiny little guys. If you see an especially emanciated looking one you may want to report it to the Save the Starving Terrapins Campain.



Okay kids, sorry but I don't really know what terrapins are. I'm pretty sure they're turtles but I don't really know if they're the tiny turtles I've made them out to be. For all I know they could be the biggest turtles known to man, I don't know my Jeopardy Day-by-Day calender hasn't really covered turtle species yet (hey no problem guys I'll hook ya up...www.spe.sony.com/store/). And so anyway this is totally made up, so I don't expect anyone to go out and support it or anything, and I would certainly not reccomend the Undercover Terrapin Investigator idea, I know it sounds like great fun but still kids just trust me on this one.

Take me back to the Love Fest baby