Sam remembers other things too, painful things, things she dare not will into her brain, but come anyway. Although she is getting better at hiding them, pressing them down to the innermost and darkest nether reaches of her subconscious, willing them never to return. They, of course, never listen.
Memories were supposed to be good, and the ones that weren�t were supposed to teach somehow. These never did. They only seemed to relish in mocking her, in mocking them.
She looked at the calendar on her wall. A year. It had been nearly a year since Jack, her Jack, had disappeared. The rumors around the SGC were that the Ancients had taken him, taken him for the memories that everyone, including Jack himself, thought purged.
Sam had received her next promotion to Lt. Colonel. Lt. Colonel Carter. Nice sound, although that mocked her, too, at times. She had left the SGC to take a job at the Academy, a coveted assignment that Sam had been able to land with the help of an old professor of hers. She couldn�t work there anymore, as his essence permeated the place, which almost felt alive with his very soul. Yet she couldn�t leave the area either, hence taking the job at her Alma Matter. They were glad to have her, and somewhere in the myriad of feelings that seemed to follow her around, she was almost glad to be there.
Sam forgot how she ended up in the bathroom, dressed in a robe of the blackest silk. Jack had given it to her the first night, practically pleading with her to wear it around the house. Sam suspected that he wanted to catch glimpses of the back of her thigh as it pulled up ever so slightly as she walked. She also suspected that he saw a lot more than just the back of her thigh. Looking down she noticed the length, or lack thereof, of the garment he had chosen. Sam felt wetness on her cheeks as the feelings of utter loss and hopelessness reared their ugly heads once again. Mocking.
Then she heard it. Heard what could only be described as shuffling on her tile. Who the hell dare come into her house! Curiosity turned to defensiveness as she heard a second sound join the first. Sam moved her face closer to the edge of the doorway and concentrated on what she thought was the scraping of flesh on wood. Whoever it was, was now in her kitchen! That�s it! No one was going to break into Sam Carter�s house and get away with it! Grabbing a nice sized porcelain statue off the floor, she inched her way down the hall and rounded the corner to her . . .
The statue dropped from her hands as the figure stood up, his back to her, gray hair messed up in a strangely familiar pattern. The figure turned around.
�Hi, Sam. Long time no see.� Sam finally let out that breath felt like she�d been holding forever.
�Ja..Jack,� she stuttered, her voice wavering, her heart bursting.
They stayed like that for an extremely long moment, neither moving, blinking, nor even thinking. Of its own volition Sam�s hand reached out and touched his forehead, tracing the slope of his skull until she skimmed along his left eyebrow, following the path of his scar. She was so entranced by the mere feel of him that she didn�t notice him grab her hand, covering it with his own and pressing it close to his chest.
�Hey there. Miss me?� Jack murmured softly, looking deep into her eyes.
Sam couldn�t help it, wouldn�t deny it. The tears flowed freely now, as she finally let all the emotions from the past year crash over her like a vicious tsunami, which plunder the Asian coast. He grabbed her before she crumpled and pressed her body close to his, supporting her weight as she staved off the last remnants of the flood that threatened to swallow her whole.
�There, there now. It�s all right. I�m here, and I�m never going to leave again,� Jack said, trying to reassure her. He half-carried her to a chair located near the island as she clutched him to her. As much as he wanted to, Jack couldn�t hold her weight forever. He did, however, hold her until her sobs subsided. Looking up, Sam�s eyelashes fluttered rapidly, trying to clear the moisture built up from the maelstrom of released emotions.
�My God Jack, where have you been?� she croaked out, finally able to voice the question that has plagued her these past months.
�Away,� He answered, refusing to go any further.
�Have you spoken to General Hammond yet?� Sam asked.
�No,� Jack responded. �That can wait. All I remember is suddenly appearing here just a few minutes ago in your foyer. Don�t ask me how I got here as I don�t really know myself.� He was about to say something else, but his thoughts were interrupted. �What�s that sound?� Jack inquired, turning his head to the left. Was that what he thought it was? Sam recognized it immediately.
�They�re awake.� Sam disengaged from his embrace and walked towards the spare bedroom with him not far behind, her shock all but forgotten. Years working at the SGC did that to people.
�Who�s awake?� He didn�t need the answer spoken as he cleared the doorway. Jack saw for himself. Inside the room there were two cribs stood side-by-side with various furniture set up along the sides. Too shocked to move Jack silently watched Sam as she checked on the first and then on the second.
�Are they�?� Jack asked, the desire to know and not to know waging a particularly nasty and bloody war within him.
�Yours?� she finished. �Yes.� Her answer was simple yet powerful. He willed his feet to move. Jack walked over to stand between the cribs as his sight flicked between the two beds.
�Jack, I would like you to meet your daughter, Alyssa Rose,� Sam indicated the crib to his left. �And also your son, Jacob Andrew.� She moved away from him then and stopped at the doorway so he could have some time with them. Not daring to touch them lest this be a cruel joke, he turned to see Sam fighting back new tears with all her being, her shoulders beginning to shake, face buried in her hands. Jack practically ran to her as he enveloped her in his arms, nearly crushing the life out of her with its force.
It was his turn to grieve. He grieved for all the lost time they would never get back. Grieve for the simple fact that he had missed the entire pregnancy; he missed being there for her. A strangled cry tore out of his throat as he silently damned the Ancients for taking him away from her. From them, Jack reminded himself.
�My God, Sam. I�m so sorry. I didn�t know,� He felt her nod against his chest in reply. Sam lifted her head slightly to respond.
�You couldn�t have known. I didn�t even know until a little over a month later.� She had doubted the Ancients had known either, but the blame had to be placed somewhere.
�Are we okay?� Jack asked as he pushed her a couple of inches away from him so he could get a better look at her face. She nodded. Of course they were okay. She needed to change the subject.
�Are you sure you don�t want to talk about what happened?� Sam inquired, but she was fully prepared to back off if he resisted. He balked slightly at the question.
�Yeah, I am,� Jack admitted. �Maybe someday I will, but for right now all I want to do is take a shower, get into bed with my favorite girls and new son, and just relax.� As if on cue he stifled a yawn, stretching slightly.
�That�s probably a good idea. You do smell a little, um, offworldy.� Oh, how she missed the humor. It had practically deserted her during the time he was gone, even if Janet did try to drag it out of her on occasion.
�Ouch. That hurt,� Jack commented, smiled at her, and was rewarded with one of her patented pearly white, stunningly gorgeous smiles of her own.
He snuggled up closer to her. Feeling a bit mischievous, he whispered close to her ear. �Too bad you couldn�t come in there with me. You know the old saying. �Save water, shower with a friend.�� Jack wiggled his eyebrows at her suggestively.
�Oh, you�re incorrigible!� she swatted at him playfully. �Well, in the interest of water conservation I think that could be arranged.�
�But what about the kids?� He repeated what he said in his head for good measure. Kids. His kids. His and Sam�s kids. This was going to take a little getting used to.
Sam held up a walkie-talkie looking device. �Two words. Baby. Monitor.�
�Ah! In that case, let�s go.� With one last check on the babies, Jack took her by the hand and headed off towards the bathroom.
With a sense of renewed energy she helped strip him of his clothes. Tossing them onto the floor she could�ve sworn those were the same garments he�d been wearing when he left with. At least they gave him his old clothes back, and yet strangely enough they didn�t even have the decency to put them through the regular cycle before sending him back. Thanks, you guys, The Others, whoever, appreciate it lots.
Raising her head, her gaze roamed unabashedly over his body. My how he loved that look of hers. Nothing quite like it on any world that he knew of. He found his fingers entangled in the sash of her robe and pulled it apart slowly as he took in the view before him. Oooohhh, yeah. There were several reasons he had gotten this for her and this was one of them. True, her body had undergone some slight changes since the children�s birth, she was still absolutely, and without a doubt, gorgeous.
Once the water was hot enough Jack took a step in, testing the water with his hand. Perfect. He went all the way in, and Sam followed right behind him. It started out chaste enough as they both dipped their heads under the water and wet their bodies. Then the soap came out, and it was all over.
Later, as darkness descended over Colorado Springs, two recently reunited parents lay in bed, nestled together with their two three-month-old children, all the while listening to some smooth jazz coming over the airwaves.
Turning her attention back to the babies lying between them, Sam didn�t believe that she had ever seen either of them so quiet and non-fussy since they were born. Normally they were somewhat on the fussy side, seemingly never satisfied with whatever she offered them. That was, until today. Somehow, maybe in some weird way, perhaps they knew he was coming back to them.
Sam didn�t know, and for right now she didn�t particularly care. Everything was how it should have been in the first place and that�s all that mattered. Now, exactly how was she going to break the news of his return to the General Hammond and the others . . .
FIN