Jemaine placed the pink retro sunglasses on his face and stared at his reflection in the mirror. “No, it doesn’t do it for me,” he said, tossing the glasses on the bench, “bring me a lighter shade.” “Yes sir.” said the salesman, excited that he actually had a customer who would buy the outrageously expensive sunglasses. As Jemaine tried on the new pair, he heard the sound of the bell as a customer came into the shop. He glanced at the person once from the mirror, and then quickly turned around to look; making sure his eyes had not played a trick on him. And no indeed, there was no trick, for at that moment, none other than Elijah Wood had walked into the shop.

Jemaine quickly regained himself. He didn’t want to seem like one of those teenage fans who lined up at premiers to see their heartthrobs. Not that Elijah Wood was a heartthrob, oh no. It was just that Bret had talked about him so much, said so many wonderful things about the famous actor, that Jemaine had found himself jealous of Bret’s acquaintances. But that was a long time ago. The Fellowship of the Ring was already in the can, and Elijah Wood was here to shoot scenes for The Return of the King, which thankfully, Jemaine thought, Bret had no part in.

As Jemaine started to look at the glasses once again, pretending to care, he noticed Elijah walking around the shop, gazing absentmindedly at the rows of sunglasses. It was just at that moment that a young child, by the looks of it a form 2, charged into the store, “But Mummy, why can’t I get some sunglasses?” she yelled. Her mother, agitated by her daughter said, “SHUT UP RACHEL!”
“But Mummy…” Her mother pulled a revolver from her jeans and loaded it, cha ching!
“I’ll get your brains everywhere!” she said, as she hauled Rachel out of the shop.

Elijah, shaking his head, was now standing next to Jemaine, both having witnessed everything.
“Oh my God, isn’t it just horrible how parents treat their children these days?” he said, turning to Jemaine, who was startled by the sudden conversation.
“Oh yes, it’s very wrong, obviously the mothers not…getting any!” he laughed.
“Excuse me?”
“Oh, uh, nothing.”
“I’m Elijah Wood.” He said, extending his hand. Jemaine shook it and introduced himself. There was then an awkward silence, which Jemaine quickly filled by telling Elijah that he was a friend of Bret’s.
“Who?” Elijah asked, obviously puzzled.
“Bret McKenzie, you know, Figwit the elf, the council.”
“Oh yeah! How is Brad?” Elijah said, having no idea who Bret was.
“You mean Bret. Yeah he’s good, lots of job offers now with the whole Figwit thing.”
“Of course, of course. Uh, you care for a cigarette?” Jemaine hardly ever smoked, but the offer to fill his lungs with tar and rat poison by a famous celebrity was too tempting and so he took one.

They left the shop and started smoking the cigarettes. Elijah started talking about how lovely New Zealand was, and soon he and Jemaine were engaged in a discussion about the best places to eat in Wellington, when Elijah said, “Oh my God! Look at the time, I better go…hey, do you want to come to a party tonight. Just me and a few friends. It’s at this address…” he scribbled something on a piece of paper, “…be there at 7 and you can bring Brian too.” Jemaine was so happy he nearly peed himself, but he controlled it very well. “Thanks, I dunno, I’ll see what happens.” He muttered as he grabbed the piece of paper and stuffed it into his pocket, his mind already deciding what to wear that night.

“I told you, I told you he knew me!” Bret exclaimed for he 500th time that night as they descended the long drive to the party. A lot of noise was coming from the house. “Let me knock, I’ll surprise him!” Bret said. He knocked three times, and a young girl opened the door, “Who the hell are you?” she said. “Um, Elijah invited me. Tell him it’s Bret.”
“ELIJAH it’s BRET!” she yelled. Elijah staggered in the hallway, a pink party hat on his head, and a beer clutched in his hand, “Who? Ohh, it’s that guy…and, um, Bruce.”
“Bret. Remember me?” Bret asked. Elijah looked bewildered for a few moments, “Come in, come in.” he said, dragging Bret inside, who smiled at Jemaine in an I-told-you-so grin.

He took them into the living room and introduced them to everyone, “This is Orlando, Dom, Billy, Viggo, Phoebe, Sean and Andy. Guys this is Jemmy and Brendon.”
“Itsss niccce to meet you, my precioussss” Andy Serkis said, in his famous Gollum voice. Everyone laughed. They were all quite drunk and found their new friends a wonderful attraction, after having spent too much time with each other. Jemaine and Bret were handed a couple of beers and sat next to Orlando Bloom. Jemaine never liked Orlando…he found him too fake, and thought of him as just a pretty face that had found himself famous quite too fast and tried to hard to be someone he wasn’t. Orlando lit but a cigarette, his fingers covered in rings of different sizes and shapes, “So anyway,” he said between puffs of smoke, “I said to Heath, if you’re having problems with this movie, get lost, nobody wants you here, and I can play a better Kelly than you anyway!!” They all laughed, and Elijah put on some music, it was time to dance.

The hours dragged on, and Jemaine and Bret found themselves having fun. The ice was broken long ago, and they seemed to have been included into the group. Suddenly, at that moment, Dominic charged into the room, his face flushed. He had disappeared quite some time ago, and no one knew where. “Oh my God! I just found out that there’s a party down the street, all chicks! Who wants to crash it with me!!???” They all quickly agreed, and put on their jackets. “I’m not going.” Phoebe muttered, obviously disgusted that she wasn’t a ‘chick’. And so they made the way out of the house and down the road, to number 80. “Here we are!” Dom whispered excitedly.

Dark stairs led down to a house where a lot of giggling was coming from. The party went down the stairs, trying to make little noise. “C’mon guys, lets leave!” Sean whispered urgently, for the first time realising that he still had a wife. “Wait a minute, we haven’t seen anyone.” Billy said.
“Hey look, the doors open!” This time it was Bret, who had tried the doorknob randomly.
“We can’t just break and enter!” Viggo exclaimed. But Dom, Billy and Orlando were already through the door and walking towards the light. The others had no choice but to follow. Soon, everyone was quietly stationed outside the door where all the noise was issuing from. Orlando knocked, and the talking stopped, all that could be heard was the TV. “Mum, what is it?” a girl said. There was no answer, so she got up and opened the door.

What she saw made her scream. There were nine guys outside, all of them relatively famous, and all had entered into her house, on their own will!! Her friends crowded around her and started screaming. “Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God!! It’s Elijah Wood!!!” a dark haired girl screamed as she ran and grabbed his elbow. “I love you! Oh my God, I have a shrine of you in my room!!” Elijah looked slightly worried, but was used to this insane behaviour. “WAIT A MINUTE EVERYONE!” a girl with long blond/brown hair said, holding up her hands, “What is going on here? Who are all these people-“All her friends gasped; astonished that she didn’t know them. “Lizzie, shhh!” some of them said. “Come, sit down, my name’s Morgan.” the girl who had opened the door said.

They all found their way to a seat, scattered between the girls. “What are you watching?’ Billy asked, trying to make some sane conversation. “Oh nothing, it’s just a movie, Velvet Goldmine actually, have you guys seen it-OH MY GOD!!” a girl with curly hair screamed, as a naked Ewan McGregor started dancing on stage. “We weren’t watching this, ah, Arezoo made us.” She said, as she turned off the TV.
“Me? What! She’s lying!!” said the dark haired girl. Everyone laughed. They had settled comfortably, and were talking non-stop, when Jessica (the curly haired girl) noticed Jemaine and Bret sitting by themselves. What Jemaine and Bret didn’t know was that Jessica, Morgan and Arezoo were great fans of their band, The Flight of the Conchords. So, Jessica, motioning for the other two to follow, moved over and sat by them. Arezoo, sad she had to let go of Elijah’s arm, went and sat by them. “Hey, we love the album you guys released, the Folk the World tour one, it’s awesome! I’ll go play it.” Morgan said, as she left. “What, really?” Jemaine asked, astonished. “Of course! Albi the racist dragon is my favourite, where do you guys get your ideas?” Arezoo asked.

And so the rest of the night, and morning, was filled with talking and laughter. Jemaine, Bret, Arezoo, Morgan and Jessica became good friends, while the others talked with the rest of the guests. It was just about time to leave, when Bret asked the three girls to come to a party the following night, “There will be leis, absinthe and I have a strong inkling, a party mix-up!!” he said. “Of course we’ll be there!” said Jessica.

As the rest filed out of the house, Elijah came to say bye to Arezoo, “Ok, whatever, bye.” She replied, as she closed the door, already deciding to pull down her shrine when she got home. “That was great!” Bret said, when they were all walking down the street.
“I dunno. Hey, I hear there’s another party tomorrow night, you all in?” Dom asked. Everyone agreed in the affirmative, except for Jemaine and Bret, who looked at the ground, shuffling their feet, “Oh, nah, I think we’ll pass…eh, we’re busy.” Jemaine said.
“What? Busy? So busy that you’re going to miss the party, and our beautiful presence? ” Orlando asked, half joking. “Yeah, I guess we are. Well, we’ll see you guys around.” Bret said, as they separated from the group, who stared at them, astonished. Suddenly Jemaine and Bret knew how it felt like to be famous, and they liked it.