Aweful Battle of the Pekes and the Pollicles:
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Of the aweful battle of the pekes and the pollicles Together with some account of the participation Of the pugs and the poms And the intervention of the Great Rumpus Cat The Pekes and the Pollicles everyone knows Are proud and implacable passionate foes: It is always the same wherever one goes And the Pugs and the Poms, although some people say That they do not like fighting, yet once in a way They will now and again join into the fray, and they - Bark, bark, bark, bark Bark, bark, bark, bark Until you can hear them all over the park And they - Bark, bark, bark, bark Bark, bark, bark, bark Until you can hear them all over the park Now on the occasion of which I shall speak Almost nothing had happenned for nealy a week (And that's a long time for a Pol or a Peke) The big police dog was away from his beat- I don't know the reason, but most people think He'd slipped into the Wellington Arms for a drink. And no one at all was about on the street When a Peke and a Pollicle happenned to meet They did not advance or exactly retreat But they glared at eachother and scraped their hind feet And started to- Bark, bark, bark, bark Bark, bark, bark, bark Until you could hear them all over the park Bark, bark, bark, bark Bark, bark, bark, bark Until you could hear them all over the park Now the Peke, although people may say what they please, Is no British dog but a heathen Chinese And so all the Pekes when they heard the uproar, Some came to the window, some came to the door; There were surely a dozen, more likely a score And together they started to grumble and wheeze In their huffery-snuffery heathen Chinese But a terrible din is what Pollicles like, For your Pollicle dog is a dour Yorkshire tyke There are dogs out of every nation The Irish, the Welsh and the Dane' The Russian , the Dutch, the dalmation, And even from China and Spain. The poodle, the Pom, the Alsation, And the Mastiff who walks on a chain. And to those who are frisky and frolical Let my meaning be perfectly plain: That my name it is Little Tom Pollicle And you'd better not do it again And his braw Scottish cousins are snappers and biters, And every dog jack of them notable fighters; And so they stepped out, with their pipers in order Playing when the blue bonnets come over the border Then the pugs and the poms held no longer aloof But some from the balcony some from the roof Joined into the din with a - Bark, bark, bark, bark Bark, bark, bark, bark Until you could hear them all over the park Huffery-Snuffery, Huffery-Snuffery Bark, bark, bark, bark Huffery-Snuffery, Huffery-Snuffery Bark, bark, bark, bark Until you could hear them all over the park Now when these bold heroes together assembled, The traffic all stopped and the underground trembled And some of the neighbors were so much afraid That they started to ring up the fire brigade. When suddenly up from a small basement flat, Why who should stalk out but: The Great Rumpus Cat! His eyes were like fireballs fearfully blazing He gave a great yawn and his jaws were amazing And when he looked out throughthe bars of the area You never saw anything feircer or hairier And what with the glare of his eyes and his yawning The pekes and the pollicle quickly took warning He looked to the sky and he gave a great leap - And every last one of them scatterred like sheep And whenthe police dog returned to his beat There wasn't a single one left on the street All hail and all power to the Great Rumpus Cat! Jellicle cats and dogs all must Pollicle dogs and cats all must Like undertakers come to dust!
