An Interview
~aBoUt jEiCe~
(kids DON'T try this at home)
Sonia: ALRIGHT EVERYONE! Here's the BEST part of my web page!
*grabs Jeice and pulls him onto the stage*
Sonia: THIS is where we get to learn EVERRRYYYTHING about our hero, Jiisu-San, AND
*winks*
Sonia: HIS PERSONAL LIFE!
Jeice: WHAT?!?!?! SONIA, YOU DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING 'BOUT MY PERSONAL LIFE!! DON'T SO THIS TO ME, MATE!!
Sonia:*frowns*
But...Jeice, you have a LOT of fans counting on you...
*points to the HUGE croud of girls holding up signs saying "we love you Jeice," while blowing kisses and screaming.*
Jeice: *blinks* I-I-I do?... I DO!!!! WELL THEN, ASK AWAY!!!
Sonia: GREAT! LET'S BEGIN!
*pulls out a buncha note cards and begins to read them*
Sonia: OK, Jeice... We asked the crowd earlier what they would ask you as if you were their boyfriend... here's what they came up with...
FIRST question...
Jeice *twiddles his fingers nervously*
Sonia: Were you EVER picked on as a kid?
Jeice:*LAUGHS* WHAT KINDA STUPID QUESTION IS THAT?!!? OF COARSE NOT!!!
*voice off in the distance* WUSS!!!
CROWD:*turn their head and whisper as they look for that person*
*Vegeta appears and floats down to the stage*
CROWD: *BOOs Vegeta and throws stuff at him*
Vegeta: HAHAHAHA!!! Looks like they love me... OF COARSE... who WOULDN'T LOVE A PRINCE!!!
Sonia:*growls at Vegeta and stomps her foot down* VEGETA GET OFF MY STAGE!!!!!
Vegeta: HAHAHA!! MAKE ME!!
Sonia: *whistles for body guards*
Body Guard #1:*grabs Vegeta but gets flung into a wall*
Vegeta: *laughs as the other Body Guards back away slowly in terror.*
Sonia: AW GEEZ! THOSE GUYS COST MONEY, VEGETA!!
Vegeta: *turns and looks at Sonia. Smirks and lifts his hand up at the crowd* See YOU loosers later!!!
Sonia: VEGETA NO!!!
Unknonwn Body Guard: *puts his hand on Vegeta's shoulder* Comon' Vegeta.. You've had you're fun.
Vegeta: WHAT?!?!? *turns around to the Body Guard* KAKORROT!?!
Goku: *smiles and lifts up his hat* YEP! It's good pay! Chi-Chi thought I should get a job, you know, to be a good influence on Gohan!
Now lets go!
*picks up Vegeta and flings over his shoulder; Carries him offstage while the other Body Guards follow and cheer*
Vegeta: *whines and tries to get out of Goku's grip* LET ME GO KAKORROT!!!
Sonia and Jeice: *blinks*
Sonia: Okkaaayy then... NEXT question...
Jeice: *sigh of relief*
Sonia: Do YOU think that Freeza and Zarbon are having a relationship behind then scenes.... E-HE-HEY! WHO PUT THIS IN HERE?!?!
CROWD: *laughs*
Sonia: *sighs* oh well... Might as well answer it!
Jeice: *snickers* Of COARSE I do...
Freeza: *walks on stage with a skirt* WHAT?!?! WHY YOU LITTLE...
CROWD: *uncontrolable laughter*
Freeza: WHAT?!?!
*looks at the crowd confused and then looks down; blushes*
Sonia: *smacks her forhead and shakes her head*
Well... THERE you have it folks...
Zarbon: *offstage*
FREEZA, SWEETHEART!!! I'M WEARING THE PANTYHOUSE!!!
Sonia: OH MY DEAR GOD!!!
*hides her virgin eyes*
Freeza: *turns to Jeice and points his finger*
I'LL GET YOU LATER, Jeice...
Sonia: Yeah, but before you do that, could you PLEASE put some pants on...
CROWD: *ROARS with laughter*
Freeza: *growls and walks offstage pulling his skirt up*
Sonia:If this is just the begging, who KNOWS how long this'll take...U___U;;;
GIRL in the AUDIENCE: WE LOVE YOU JEICE!!!
CROWD: *GOES WILD*
Jeice: *blows kisses*
CROWD: *some girls faint while others throw flowers to the stage*
Body Guards: *pick up the flowers, go offstage, and come back with the flowers as a bouquet*
Sonia: Well... better get on to the next question before this crowd becomes a riot...
NEXT question...
Jeice: *smiles as he holds his bouquet of flowers and other things thrown from his adoring fans*
Sonia: *reads it to herself BEFORE reading it out loud*
AWWW!!! This is a sweet question...
When was your first kiss?
Jeice: *looks blank in the face*
Sonia: Jeice? *pokes him* Are you ok?
Jeice: *laughs nervously* OH YEAH! J-Ju-JUST FINE!
Sonia: Are you gonna answer the question then???
Jeice: uhhh.... Can I pass this one by any chance?
Sonia: *looks at the audience*
What do you guys think?
CROWD: ANSWER! ANSWER! ANSWER!
Sonia: *looks at Jeice* There's your answer...
Jeice: Um...I-I-I've never been kissed... *looks at the ground*
CROWD: *an emotional "AWWW!!"*
Sonia: That's ok Jeice! We understand...
Jeice: *blinks* You do?!?!
Sonia: *nods* YEP! We're girls... we hafta go through that kinda stuff all the time, guys just don't understand how much pressure is put on us. Media, personal lives, and any secrets we have are always turned-up in the end. You should feel lucky.
*turns to the crowd*
Right you guys?
CROWD: YEAH!!!
Sonia: Ok... but ENOUGH about us! Time for another question!
Sonia: Hmmm.... Do you have any siblings? And if so, did you ever fight with them?
GIRL in the AUDIENCE: DO YOU HAVE A TWIN BROTHER?
CROWD: *laughs*
Jeice: *snickers* No. I don't have any siblings, but I do consider Berter as a brother sometimes... We fight 'n all, but we're still good friends.
GIRL in the AUDIENCE: DOES BERTER HAVE A TWIN BROTHER THAT LOOKS LIKE YOU?!?!?
CROWD: *laughs*
Sonia: OK! NEXT...*tries to read but can't stop laughing*
Bob the Camera Man: *points to watch*
Sonia: OH! We hafta take a commercial everyone!!! We'll be back in a minute!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`Commercial`~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Announcer: "Not happy with the way you look?"
"THEN TRY NEW ROGAINE FOR MEN!!!"
"NOT SATISFIED with the results?"
"THEN TRY NEW AND IMPROVED, EXTRA STRENGHT ROGAINE FOR MEN!!!"
"THICKER RESULTS THAT YOU CAN SEE!!"
"You'll LOVE the hair you have!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`End Commercial`~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sonia: *blinks all confused n stuff*
Uhhh... WHY did we have a "Rogaine for MEN" commercial just now, Jeice???
*turns to Jeice*
Jeice: *face is covered in chocolate smudges from all his fan's chocolates; muffles and shrugs*
I dunno!
Sonia: *shakes her head and looks at the camera*
We could have AT LEAST had some commercial about loosing weight or something, Bob???!!!
Bob the Camera Man: On it right now Sonia!!!
Sonia: Thank GOD someone listens to me around here... *ehem* ANYWAYS!!!
WE'RE BACK!!! As you may know, this is an interview with ~jEiCe tHe BiShOnEn~, whom which we adore...
*turns to the crowd*
RIGHT GIRLS!!!
*camera turns to the crowd*
CROWD: YEAH, SONIA!!! *cheers*
*camera goes back to Sonia and Jeice on stage*
Sonia: As you can tell, these girls are having the time of their lives. And as for all you people at HOME watching, stick around, because we've got ALOT more to come!!!
*turns to the crowd*
ALRIGHT EVERYONE!!! Are you guys READY for us to bring out some of Jeice's friends?!?!?
CROWD: YEAHHHHH!!! *whistles and shouts*
Sonia: *lifts up arm and smiles*
ALRIGHT YOU GUYS, COMON' OUT!!!
Captain Ginyu: *walks on stage and strikes a pose*
Sonia: FIRST UP, we have Captain Ginyu! This is guy who we should thank girls...
CROWD: *syncronized* THANK YOU!
Sonia: *smiles* That's right, because, THIS guy is who started the Ginyu Force trend. Without him, we would have NEVER even seen Jeice on the big screen...
Captain Ginyu: *takes the microphone from Sonia and coughs lightly as he holds it up to speak* First off, I'd like to thank allll my adoring fans for getting me here today. I ALSO have made a small list of those like to thank...
*takes out a list that reaches the ground*
Sonia: *blinks* uhhh...Captain....
Captain Ginyu: *ignoring her* I'd like to thank my parents, of coarse, my brother, my sister, cousin, my cousin's cousin TWICE removed, *ehem* my uncle my half brother's uncle's cousin's nephew... *continues to speak even though his microphone has now stopped working*
Sonia: Ummm... yeah... *shakes her head and looks at her cards again* Next up we have Recoome!!!
*points to the curtain which is now flailing like crazy*
Sonia: *blinks* Uhh.. Recoome???
*the curtain rips and then rolls up and the mummified body rolls across the stage and slams into the camera breaking it*
Sonia: OH N-NO-NO-NOT THE CAMERA TOO!!! AW JESUS!!!
*slaps her forehead*
FIRST the bodyguard.. NOW the FRICKIN' CAMERA, TOO!!!! I'M GONNA BE ON THE STREETS BY THE END OF THIS INTERVIEW!!!
Recoome: *pulls the curtain off himself and strikes a pose*
CROWD: *cheers*
Sonia: *watches very amused* ok, then... HEEEEERREEEE'S RECOOME!!!
Recoome: *smirks and strikes another pose*
Sonia: Ok, Recoome... time for the next person...
Recoome: *stays on the stage striking poses*
Sonia: *yells at Recoome* HEY! I TOLD YOU TO STOP RECOOME!!!
Recoome: *stops and grumbles as he walks off the stage and sits down next to Captain Ginyu*
Sonia: *angrily looks at her cards and sighs* Ok then.. Next we have Guldo...
*All of a sudden the light black out and everything's dark. The only thing to be heard for a couple of seconds is the high pitched ring of Sonia's microphone*
Sonia: *taps the microphone and grumbles* Well at least SOMETHING still works in this studio. OK, Bob? What's the BIG IDEA?!
Bob the Camera Man: *as a voice off in the corner* I don't know, Sonia. The boys and I didn't tounch anything. Right, guys?
Crewmen: *also a bunch of voices off in the corner* Nope!
Bob the Camera Man: Hmmmm... Seems as if someone has been tampering with the controls!!!
*a single spotlight appears on a small, round figure on the stage, but still no one is able to see his/her face*
Sonia: HEY! Are YOU the one that was tampering with the stuff??? *turns to Jeice and asks sweetly* Jeice?
Jeice: Yeah, Sonia? *lifts his head up from a chocolate box*
Sonia: *grows red in the face and throws down her cards* HELP OUT FOR ONCE, WILL YA?!?!?!?
Jeice: *gulps nervously* B-bu-but Sonia *points to his chocolates innocently and whines* I'm busy!
Sonia: ARGH!!! *pulls at her hair* You're ALWAYS busy, JEEEIIICEEE!!!!!
Person in the Spotlight: QUIET YOU TWO! *steps forward revealing his face*
Sonia and Jeice WHA!?!?!? *both blink and look at at the figure strangely*
GUDLO!?!?!?
Guldo: *smirks* Yes, who did you EXPECT?
Sonia: *shrugs* James Dean?
Jeice: Danny Devito?
Captain Ginyu: Howard Stern?
Recoome: OH!!! I KNOW, I KNOW!!! *nearly jumping out of his seat*
Everyone: *looks at Recoome in silent anticipation*
Recoome: THE ICE CREAM MAN!!! *Smiles proudly*
Everyone: *falls over Anime Style*
Sonia: *gets up wearily and moans angrily* Jeice... remind me to personally HURT Recoome when this is over.
Jeice: Done...
Guldo: *whines* YOU RUINED MY ENTRANCE!!! NOW I'LL NEVER BE FAMOUS!!! WHAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Sonia: *blinks and picks up her cards and microphone* We could let you start all over, if you want, Guldo.
Guldo: *wipes his eyes* Y-you COULD?
*sits on the floor and continues pouting*
NO! That would make me look stupid...
Sonia: *sighs and looks at her cards*
FINE! Have it your way.
*continues reading*
NEXT UP, we have...
Guldo: WAIT! I've changed my mind... *gets up and walks backstage*
Sonia: *throws her hands up in the air and sits down next to Jeice*
UGH! I GIVE UP! Why didn't I just let the Ginyu Tokusentai run this whole thing by themselves. MAYBE there would have been better ratings...
Jeice: *holds up chocolate box to Sonia* Want one?
Sonia: *turns head away and sighs* No...
Jeice: O.K. then *shrugs and continues munching down on the chocolates*
Sonia: *looks over his shoulder curiously at the box and leans over to get a closer look; points to one of the pieces*
Is that piece cream filled?
Jeice: *nods* Yep! I think they all are!
Sonia: *smirks and reaches for it* Ok, lemme have this one. *says as an afterthought* But JUST one...
Sonia and Jeice: *watch and eat intently while Guldo gets his "Entrance" ready*
*the lights go out once again and the spotlight appears on Guldo again*
Guldo: *turns his head and smirks at the audience; does a couple of poses and hand motions as if to hypnotise the audience*
CROWD: Ooooohhh!!! Ahhhhhhhh!!! *watch fasinated and all*
Guldo: *does his normal pose and lifts his hands up ready to say his lines* I'M GUUUULLL....
*lights come back on blinding everyone*
Everyone: *random voice from the audience*
I WANNA GO HOME!!!
Owwww!!! MY EYES!!!
I CAN'T SEE!!
WHERE'S MY MOMMY?!?!?!WHAT'S GOING ON?!?!?!
Recoome: *crawling around on the floor, obviously blind* WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?!?!?!
Booming Voice From Nowhere: STAY CALM EVERYONE!!!
Jeice: ACK!!! *hides behind Sonia* IT'S GOD!!!
Sonia: No, no.... It's Bob the Camera Man, Jeice!
*looks up at the Control Tower*
What's going on Bob?
Guldo: *opens his top two eyes and lifts his head; shouts angrily at Bob the Camera Man*
YEAH!!! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GO AND RUIN MY ENTRANCE!!! I WAS GETTING TO THE FINALE!!!
Bob the Camera Man: Sorry, you guys, but it's time for another commercial!
Sonia: It is?
*looks at her watch*
Geez! I guess so...
*laughs nervously and scratches the back of her head*
Gomen Nasai, Guldo! I'll make it up to you after the show!
Guldo: *grumbles* YEAH.... better not be another trip to "Disneyland," like last time...
Recoome: OH! I WANNA GO TO DISNEYLAND!!!
Captain Ginyu: *whispers to Recoome*
Disneyland is just another name for the dentist, Recoome...
Recoome: OH! *looks down at the floor and shrugs* I still wanna go...
Sonia: *sighs* O.K. then! We'll be back for more after these words from out sponser!!!
*grumbles*
I HATE saying that...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`Commercial`~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thanks to my Ne-chan Sonja the Saiyan for this hillarious image!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`End Commercial`~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bob the Camera Man: How was THAT for a loosing weight commercial, Sonia?
Sonia: *looks at chocolates and sets them down*
Now I feel fat...
*stands up and rings her microphone up to her face* OK! We're BACK, once again, with our interview with Jeice!!! *pauses for the crowd and smiles as she continues.*
We're now on the last, but not, least member of the Ginyu Tokusentai, aka Jeice's friends.
*takes a look at her cards and clears her throat*
PLEASE WELCOME....
*Drumroll and lights center on a tall, blue figure in center stage...*
Guldo: HEY! I WANTED THAT KINDA ENTRANCE!!
*Recoome covers Guldo's mouth as Sonia goes on with reading the cards out loud.*
Sonia: BERTER!!!
Berter: *turns around as the spotlight is on him and flexes. He gives a sly smirk to the crowd and strikes some macho-man poses.*
CROWD: *cheers as he continues to pose*
Sonia: Berter is wearing the stylish yet original, Ginyu Tokusentai armor!
*Berter continues to show off his muscles and his armor while she talks*
Berter likes chocolate, soap operas, and bowling.
He's single and...
*Sonia blinks at her card and shouts at Berter. The music stops and the lights go bak to normal*
BERTER!!! YOU MESSED WITH MY CARDS, DIDN'T YOU???
Berter: *snickers and shakes his head "no"* WHY might you imply THAT, Sonia?
Sonia: *Growls and points to her cards* BECAUSE...IT SAYS "You're VERY good in bed!"
CROWD and the Ginyu Tokusentai: *Starts to laugh and whistle at Berter*
Berter: Well it MIGHT be true.
Sonia: UCK! I dun wanna find out... *Shudders, points to the seat next to Guldo, and says in disgust *
Ju-jus-just SIT DOWN!
~oo0/bAcK tO mAiN\0oo~
~aBoUt jEiCe: aN InTeRvIeW~