Disclaimer: Ranma ½ and all it’s characters and quoted events are property of Rumiko Takahashi and Viz video. This story is intended for free distribution amongst its fans.

By Michael Fetter

"Put me down, god damn it! I don’t need ya carryin me for cryin out loud!" The bundle screamed indignantly, kicking at the panda’s stomach where her legs hung over the side.

She was dropped in another moment, set directly before Soun who was slowly recovering his wits.

Soun bent over, squinting. "You wouldn’t be . . ."

"Ranma Saotome, you Tendou?" Ranma-chan smirked, brushing a hand through her short and wild hairstyle. She stood on tiptoes to get a look over the man’s shoulder.

"Yes." Soun replied, blinking at what was obviously a girl as her clothing prominently stated.

Staring fixedly at the three startled girls, Ranma-chan put her face in a mockingly serious expression. "These your girls then?"

"Yes." Soun nodded mechanically.

Nodding back, Ranma-chan made her way around the statue-still Soun and began to eye each girl critically, starting with the youngest in a yellow karate gi. Ranma-chan started with the hair and moved over her blinking expression and continued to her bust and hips.

"Uh, hi, I’m Akane." Nervous for the critical inspection and a bit stunned that it was being performed by a girl, Akane put out her hand to shake.

"Uh-huh." Ranma-chan moved on without shaking to the eldest. She looked like the motherly type, house dress, simple, long, tied hair.

". . ." Kasumi stared back, unsure of how to react to this young girl.

When it came to the last daughter, Ranma was already beginning to crack in her put on professionalism. She smiled and chuckled, attempting in vain to hold them back.

Nabiki, a shark of a business woman, wore her hair short and neat, going well with the cold gaze and kimono she wore that resembled a large, folded yen note. "What are you doing?"

"Lookin." Ranma-chan smirked back, hanging around Nabiki’s bust for a moment and leering at the girl with a wicked grin.

"Excuse me."

Ranma-chan turned around to see Soun somewhat back to his senses and staring dubiously at her.

"Yeah?" she asked.

Pointing again, Soun asked. "You’re Ranma Saotome, son to Genma Saotome?"

"Yep."

"Really?" Nabiki stretched out a hand and placed it over Ranma’s right breast and squeezed. Ranma-chan jumped slightly before looking over her shoulder.

"Don’t get too touchy." Ranma-chan grinned lecherously. "There’re old folks around." Even still, she ground her butt against Nabiki’s thigh causing the older girl to blush and let go of her breast quickly.

". . . Where is your father then, Ranma?" Soun choked out, hoping this was all some sort of joke.

"Behind ya."

Soun turned and found the same panda from before with a sign in its paw. ‘Hi Tendou’.

Soun fainted soon there after.

A half-hour later, a revived Soun, his daughters and the Saotomes were gathered about the living room table. The patio door was opened to allow a cool breeze to flow through.

"Let’s try again." Soun said to his daughters. "Girls, this is my old friend."

"Genma Saotome." A human Genma introduced himself with a slight bow then gestured to the boy at his side. "And this is my son . . ."

Ranma was already snoozing beside the patio door where he had been looking at the koi pond. He was woken when Genma attempted to throw him into said pond.

Splash!

"Growf."

Snickering, Ranma moved over to the table. "What? You thought I was asleep. Sorry, pops. You need to get your eyes checked."

The girls stared at him strangely. Akane seemed to have found something to be angry about and let it show. Her sister, Nabiki, was already making her judgement of the young Saotome and it wasn’t good. Kasumi tried to smile, but Ranma’s behavior was so erratic she couldn’t make it out.

Since their father fainted, Ranma had hopped into the kitchen leaving the daughters to care for their father and came out with a hot tea kettle and poured it over her head. She became a he and the panda became a man. Nothing was said about it, though they each asked. Ranma simply smirked and was forced to toss Akane about as she attempted to clobber him with a mallet.

The way he moved was particularly strange. It was almost like watching a dance. Ranma was very fluid in his movements and seemed to bring Akane into a ballroom dip that sent her rolling across the floor. She wasn’t hurt, but Akane came up dizzy.

After that he seemed to find something interesting to look at in the backyard and bob his head to an unheard music. The girls left him alone considering he might be crazy.

Genma, Ranma’s father, seemed to not notice as he sat quietly, sipping at some tea while he waited for Soun to regain consciousness.

"What happened to the two of you, Saotome?" Soun asked as Genma stepped back in and poured the remainder of his tea over his head.

Coughing to clear his throat, Genma began. "It was during one of our training missions in China that we came across a legendary training ground known as Jusenkyou a truly terr-"

"Yak, yak, yak, pops." Ranma yawned. "Just get on with it. Don’t keep us here all night. I’ve got things to do."

Genma blinked, looked away, struck out a backfist, and was neatly tossed back into the koi pond by Ranma, who smirked as the panda sat back up in the water.

"Well, doesn’t look like pops will be finishing up, so allow me." Ranma smiled at them, staring at the girls as he talked. "So we end up in Jusenkyou. Pops is all hot for getting going with this balance training cause it’s a valley full of springs with these bamboo poles stickin’ out of’em, right? So I’m like sure, and we start sparrin’. Of course, I knock oyagi into a spring cause he’s too slow."

He ignored his father who raised a sign ‘He cheated’.

"So I’m pretty jazzed that I got the first hit in and not payin much attention to this Chinese guide guy when a panda jumps outta the pond and smacks me with its paw." Ranma shakes his head, though whether he’s upset at being hit or being hit by a panda is unclear. "I scream, fall inta another spring, pop out, and all of a sudden I’m a chick. I think, well this kinda sucks, but then I get to thinkin how sexy the body is and-"

"Yes, well, your problem isn’t so bad then." Soun cut in quickly and took Ranma by the shoulder. "My daughters. Kasumi, nineteen, Nabiki, seventeen, and Akane, sixteen. Choose one and she will be your wife."

"I don’t know." Ranma frowned. The daughters seemed to hang on this doubt of his with hope. "Do any of’em go in for threesomes? Cause there’s this girl I met on the way who’s really hot and s’been chasin me since China."

Everyone facefaulted.

"Pervert!" Akane got back to her feet quickly and rushed Ranma with a mallet. Like last time, Ranma stepped to one side, grabbed Akane about the waist and wrist and tossed her in a ballroom dance movement.

"Pervert?" Ranma asked, amused. "Nah, I ain’t into that. Some people go in for the touching, but I like to ask first. Girls seem to dig it."

"What girls would that be?" Nabiki asked.

"Party girls, Nabiki-chan." He grinned. "Course, I also figure how much contact they like by how much they touch me too."

Nabiki sweated and laughed nervously, placing Kasumi before herself.

"Like you, Ranma-kun?" Kasumi asked.

Laughing, Ranma nodded. "Half the time anyway."

"So you don’t mind you’re curse?" Akane looked disgusted, glaring at Ranma dangerously.

Ranma shrugged. "It’s cool. I get a whole new perspective on things and I get to play on the other side of the field."

Akane’s eye quirked.

"So, back to the topic." Soun redirected the conversation. "Who do you choose, Ranma?"

"Oh, he wants Akane." Kasumi said.

"What?!"

Nabiki pushed her little sister forward. "Yeah, you’re always saying that you don’t like boys. Well, you’re in luck. He’s half girl."

"I’ll take Kasumi." Ranma announced.

" . . WHAT?!" Kasumi had never shrieked before, but she thought she did good for her first try.

"You can’t do that!" Akane yelled, though there was a hint of relief in her voice.

"Alright, then I choose, Nabiki."

"Now, wait a minute." Nabiki protested.

"Fine, then Akane." Again, Akane screamed her refusal.

Smirking, Ranma wondered how long he could keep this up. "Back to Kasumi I guess."

Kasumi was feeling faint.

Nabiki sputtered as Ranma returned to her.

Turning red with anger, Akane screamed again as her name was called out.

It got to the point where Ranma no longer needed to speak as each girl went into her own version of hysterics of their own volition and in turn.

"Kasumi! Nabiki! Akane!" Soun called out, finally slapping each girl back to their senses. "Snap out of it."

The girls came back to see Ranma howling with laughter as he rolled along the ground.

"Ranma." Akane growled, her vision turning red as she set her sights on the boy.

Wiping a tear from his eye, Ranma sat back up and looked over the three girls. "Sorry. Not that I don’t think you’re cute or nothin, but really, getting married? I ain’t gonna do that yet. I was just havin’ some fun. No hard feelings."

"Stop boy!" Genma called out as Ranma began to walk for the door.

"What now, pops?" he asked a little exasperated.

Crossing his arms and looking at his son sternly, Genma tried to look imperious. "You must marry one of these girls. It’s a matter of family honor."

Snorting, Ranma turned serious and glared at his father. "And what would you know about that, old man?"

"You cannot walk away from this."

"Like hell I can’t." Ranma stood firmly, daring his father to prove him wrong. "Get with the times, pops. Arranged marriages just don’t happen anymore and honor is just a word that don’t mean nothin if it hurts someone."

The three girls stopped and looked at Ranma with a new perspective. He was arguing well on their behalf and his antics seemed only driven to getting out of this betrothment. Nabiki at least could appreciate Ranma’s tactics now that she knew what he was driving at.

"And what’s more." Ranma continued to argue though his father was obviously getting more angry. "Kasumi, Nabiki, and Akane (their names if you remember pops) don’t wanna get married. Probably for the same reasons and I ain’t gonna force them. So spin on it, old man." He ended with a flash of the bird and turning on his heel.

"Oh, you’re poor mother." Genma lamented. "To know her son could not fulfill her only wish."

"What?" Ranma halted at the front door. "What about mom?"

"Before we left she had hoped you would become a man amongst men. This marriage was going to be the final test of that request." Genma stage cried, burying his head in the crook of his arm, flashing a fan with the picture of a weeping willow.

Pressing his face into a pensive look, Ranma weighed his choices, looking at the Tendou daughters, his father, Soun, and back to himself. Cursing something under his breath, Ranma stormed back into the room and sat down at the table. "I’ll go along with this engagement until I find mom and talk to her. If she says you’re lying then you better start runnin pops cause I’ll knock you through a loop for abusing her memory."

"Uhm." Genma sweat for a moment then looked to Tendou for some help. It came in the form of another reintroduction to the Tendou daughters.

Ranma stared at the three, and they stared right back, less confused and more agitated. "Any of you already got things goin with some guy?" Ranma’s lip quirked slightly. "Or a girl maybe?"

"What sort of perverts do you think we are?!" Akane demanded, pounding her fist on the table. "I wouldn’t waste my time with some boy!"

"I can see why." Ranma muttered and looked to the other sisters. "Well?"

"No, we aren’t seeing anyone either, but Kasumi is off limits." Nabiki confessed grudgingly. Lying wouldn’t help so long as Akane was being so vocal and it may trap Kasumi who did have an unknown love interest.

Ranma quirked an eyebrow and looked over Kasumi one more time. The eldest daughter seemed a bit surprised and looked at Nabiki questioningly. "Alright, Kasumi’s out. I’d ask if either of you had any big problems with my curse, but that seems rather obvious. So . . are both of you into martial arts?"

"Just Akane." Nabiki smiled, seeing this as the first good thing to come of not studying the Art.

Looking the youngest Tendou over carefully, Ranma finally nodded. "Looks like it’s you and me, spunky."

"Spunky?" Akane blinked then turned it into a glare. "What the hell do you mean its me and you?!"

"I’ll tell you when you’re older." Ranma’s teeth gleamed a bit as he smiled and stood up, offering his hand. "Come on. Let’s get acquainted. You up for a match?"

"Fine." Akane growled, squeezing Ranma’s hand.

He winced and rubbed his right hand when he got it back. "Lead me to your dojo." He laughed.

"Well," Kasumi commented as Akane and Ranma left the room. "He certainly is a . . different sort."

Genma rolled his eyes and thanked whatever god was looking down upon him that things had gone on as well as they did.

Standing on the dojo mat, Akane squared off with Ranma, gritting her teeth for what she hoped would be a satisfying match. He stood to one side, arms behind his back and rolling on his heels as he waited for the fight to begin.

"Any rules?" Ranma asked.

Growling, Akane cracked her knuckles. "Yeah, you provide your own casket."

"That’s funny." Ranma shifted to the right, allowing Akane’s side kick to pass without touching him. "Are you-" he ducked and let a turning kick pass overhead. "-a comedian-" Akane came in with a haymaker of a right fist that Ranma avoided with a slight tilt of his head. "-when you aren’t-" he skipped back to dodge the front kick aimed at his groin. "-blamin’ others for your problems?"

"Shut up!" Akane rushed in with her fastest and strongest punch. It missed by a mile and she hadn’t seen where Ranma went.

Ranma landed behind Akane and tapped her on the back of the head. "Feel better?"

Akane grunted, pulling her hand out of the wall and glaring dangerously at Ranma who backed up to give her some space.

"I’ll tell you what though." Ranma sad casually. "If you calmed down a bit this may go a little more smoothly."

"Then stop jumping around like an idiot and fight me. I’ll be calm once I’ve pounded you onto the ground."

Cocking his head, Ranma studied her and nodded at length. "I believe you. Alright." He dropped into a real fighting stance. It was loose, but more aggressive than the casual gait he’d had before. "I’ll give you a real fight if that’s what you want."

Akane grunted her agreement and set up for a fight.

"Better?"

Akane woke back up on the floor. Her sisters were there with slightly worried expressions. Ranma was sitting at her side and waiting with them.

She tried to check her memories, but could not even remember Ranma moving in to hit her in the . . back of the head. How had he done that? "Too fast." She sounded disgusted.

"We’ll work on your speed later." Ranma said, peeling the wash cloth off of Akane’s forehead. "Now if you’re feeling okay I was gonna head out for the night. You can come if you want."

Despite herself, Akane had to laugh. "You’re really weird."

Shrugging, Ranma stood and extended his hand to help her up. "We’re all a little weird."

Shaking her head, Akane started heading for her room. "Where are we going?"

"Uhm, Night Spirits, I think it’s called."

Not recognizing the name, Akane turned to her sisters who shrugged in response.

"It’s one of the dance clubs listed in the phone book." Ranma explained.

"You’re taking me out on a date?" Akane asked incredulously. First he acted like a jerk in front of her father, beat her up in the dojo, and now he was taking her out on a date? "Alright, give me a minute to get changed."

"Sure. I’ll be here."

Nodding, Akane left with a bit of a lighter step.

Kasumi and Nabiki looked at each other for an explanation.

"Strange." They both said at once.

*

"Saotome." Soun poured a cup of sake for his friend. "Your son Ranma, he is a bit-"

"Odd." Genma grunted.

"I would’ve said unorthodox, but odd works. Why is that?"

Looking gravely at Soun, his friend, the man he had trained with under the master for many years, Genma began to recount his long training trip with his son.

*

The room was dark and bright at the same time. Akane winced as the pulsing lights from the on stage musicians passed her way, blinding her temporarily. There were over a hundred people, teenagers mainly, packed into the little dark room. An elevated platform held those who were resting and enjoying a drink while listening to the hip-hop band.

Lower was an area for people to dance, and nearer the stage, mosh. The second didn’t look all that fun to Akane. Ranma tugged at her hand and led her down to the dancing area. He was already bouncing about slightly, swinging his hips and moving his arms about smoothly.

*

Genma pushed his glasses back on his nose firmly. "I wanted to train the boy to be the greatest martial artist in the world. To do that I had to start him off when he was young, drilling all I could into him before he grew up."

Soun nodded his understanding to such psychological training and urged Genma to continue.

"Everything was going well when I came across a pamphlet that described the ultimate martial arts technique . . ."

*

It didn’t take long for Ranma to get into the spirit of things, pulling Akane along when she became lost in the steps. Everything around them was bouncing like some chaotic ocean of people. Girls screamed as the singer or some other person was singled out on the stage and soon, Akane screamed too.

A strange euphoric feeling overcame her. Akane felt like part of a whole living entity that made up this dance floor. It was pumping with energy, energy so tangible she could feel it sparking over her skin each time she brushed up against somebody, mainly Ranma.

Overcoming these affects would’ve been difficult as addictive as they were. Akane soon forgot everything. Her troubles, the position she held on guys, the fiancee that had been forced upon her, she just let herself go and it was the most fun she’d ever had.

*

"The Neko-ken." Soun breathed with fear and respect. "Such a terrible training plan would certainly turn anybody into a great fighter. Did Ranma accept the training?"

Sighing with regret, Genma shook his head. "I didn’t give it to him. I feared he may become uncontrollable with the insane fear of cats. It left to obvious a weakness."

Nodding, Soun filled their glasses with more sake. "So what did you teach him?"

"I looked for a way to teach the boy my own version of the Neko-ken. One that wouldn’t leave him so vulnerable or uncontrollable." Genma gulped down his drink.

"You were always very adaptable Saotome. How did you finally teach him this ultimate technique.

*

Akane lost time as she continued to dance, pressed firmly against his body. They moved and slid against one another like two snakes coiled about the other’s body. Ranma continued to up the level of intimacy as he pressed his body to tuck and bend in ways Akane would have thought impossible even for most yoga masters.

Ranma was whipping about gracefully and at such impossible angles that many of the surrounding dancers started to watch them. Akane might have felt self-conscious if she wasn’t so focused on the beauty of Ranma’s form.

Something itched at her brain, however. The way Ranma was moving was so familiar . . .

*

"I can’t believe it!" Soun cried out, staring shocked at his old friend.

"Believe it." Genma replied, finishing another glass of sake.

Soun stared at his own glass, pondering over this amazing training Genma had made up on his own. Whereas the Neko-ken required fear of cats to bring forth its amazing power this training of Genma’s left no real impairing weakness on the trainee and allowed for a more humane surrounding rather than a pit of starving cats.

"He was only six when you started this?" Soun asked.

Genma nodded.

"And he’s been continuing the training on his own every night?"

Another nod. "Whenever he can."

"Such dedication, such prowress, such inovation." Soun looked deeply within himself for a grasp on the grand splendor of the thing his friend had done. "He will be the greatest martial artist in the world for sure!"

"And now that he is engaged to one of your girls." Genma started.

Soun finished with a hand raised in victory. "Our schools will be joined and become the most famous aspect of the Art in the world!"

Shocked, Akane froze as Ranma continued to roll about her body, eventually sweeping her up into his arms as he continued to dance. She felt warm and tingly from the contact.

His arms and legs lashed out at times to keep others at bay or move them through the crowd like they were the sea Akane had imagined, parting before the path of the fish.

The two men cheered, clinking their filled glasses of sake. "To the Dancer’s Fist!"

The End (?)

* * *

This one I wrote while thinking how depressing Ranma’s life was and wondering if I could spruce it up in an almost believable fashion.

Ja ne.