Disclaimer: Ranma ½ and all of its characters are owned by Rumiko Takahashi and Viz video. I don’t even own stock.

Chapter Two

By Michael Fetter

Splashdown was made a second after Ranma’s foot connected with his father’s gut. With the power of his kick he was able to make it back to dry land and smirk at the panda sitting in the large pond in the Kuno’s enormous backyard. "That’s one to nothing, pops. You’re getting slow."

The panda growfed and threw a sign at him, but he dodged it and walked casually into the house. He found the light to the dining room on and Tatewaki inside being served by Sasuke.

"You are quite an accomplished fighter, Ranma Saotome," he saluted with a raised cup of tea. "Perhaps we shall join in the sport and match our skills."

"Uh, whatever." Ranma shivered and decided to take a bath first.

The bathroom was upstairs and down a long hall that opened into a large tiled area filled with a few basins, towel racks, a bench, large furo with lion spout, and a door that led to a sauna room. The Kunos were crazy, but they certainly knew how to splurge. Ranma couldn’t wait to get into the furo that he missed the robe hanging on a hook in the antechamber.

The door opened and there stood a wide-eyed Kodachi, who, after a moment, gave Ranma a long appreciative once over. She looked back up and smiled, "Such a smitten man who can not control his urges to seek me out. Come in, my sweet Ranma-sama and I shall wash your back!"

Ranma’s feet squeaked across the tiled floor as he was dragged into the room. He was still resisting when Kodachi let him go so she could close the door behind them. His foot caught a bucket and he fell backwards causing a splash.

"Now then . ." Kodachi turned around only to find a naked redhead staring at her. Puzzled she scanned the area then returned to her soon to be sister-in-law, "Your brother is quite a mischievous and coy man. To have run off out of shyness for my magnificence! Hohohohoho!"

"Uh . ." Ranma-chan really did not have the words.

"Where did my Ranma-sama hide himself, pray tell?"

Making a show of looking around the room, Ranma-chan shrugged and was relieved to see Kodachi leave the furo. "What a loon."

~

"And here you are, Saotome-san. You’ll be in class 6-F," the secretary handed Ranma a paper with his class schedule and sent him on his way.

After a quick breakfast and then a ride in a limo to where Tatewaki was attending school, Ranma had gotten himself registered in Furinkan High, easy considering Kuno-ojiisan was the principal. Normally, Ranma might have had reservations about going to school, but the Kuno mansion had been setting his danger sense off almost constantly. He still missed a few traps when walking through the halls and had his head only because of his quick reflexes.

With the paper in hand, Ranma opened the door to the hall and found Tatewaki waiting for him, dressed in a hakima and a bokken in his hands. The older boy had arrived in his school uniform, but must have changed while Ranma was occupied. They had given him the option of a uniform, but Ranma had steadfastly refused in favor of his Chinese shirt and black Kung fu pants. Some things just couldn’t be argued.

"All is set then?" Tatewaki asked as though he really didn’t expect otherwise. Ranma nodded and decided to follow the older boy down the hall to the front courtyard. The two of them were almost an hour early so with nothing to do he went to see what Tatewaki did at school this early.

When they stood around the courtyard with Tatewaki standing behind one of the trees and Ranma in the limbs, he finally asked, "So what are we doing?"

"I am awaiting the entrance of my great tigress of the hunt. A woman with a spirit of fire and insurmountable will and beauty. Each morning I offer her challenge that she may enjoy my presence." Tatewaki answered with a great solemn tone. He’d leaned up against the tree and closed his eyes to see the girl in his mind.

Ranma frowned. Doesn’t Tatewaki think he’s engaged to my girl side? Then realizing the thought he had, Ranma smacked his forehead hard.

Over the next half-hour people began to arrive into the courtyard. Most went into the school and to their classrooms, but a good number of boys remained outside, dressed in their athletic gear. Ranma watched as the kendo team mixed with baseball, soccer, volleyball, hockey, and sumo. Every sports team was represented in the congregation.

Other students who entered had to walk around the mob of boys, but none seemed surprised by the gathering. One girl did not, however, walk around the group. With a cold, shark-like smile, she walked up to the group and they parted before her like the Red Sea before Moses. Ranma found her again appearing on the roof of the main building to look down upon the courtyard with a few others beside her.

"So what are they doing here, Tatewaki?" Ranma asked, still sitting in the tree. He tried to assess the threat level of the mob, but didn’t find anything very noteworthy.

With half a smile, Tatewaki looked around the tree at the gathering. "These poor fools seek to defeat my fierce Akane Tendou and thus win a date from her. Though it is obvious only I am worthy unto her, they would still attempt to stand before a love determined by the gods themselves!"

I really should stop asking him questions, Ranma thought while shaking his head. It seemed everything Tatewaki said was mandated by god or his own great presence. Ranma could only wonder who this girl was who actually liked fighting a mob everyday before school to be with Tatewaki. She had to really love Tatewaki to put up with all of that.

From the other side of the perimeter wall there came a growling sound that grew in volume and pitch. It was like a snarl of fury. Ranma’s head snapped around to see boys lined up in the courtyard beginning to attack someone only to be tossed into the air a moment later. The person working her way through the crowd was like a banshee with the strength of a gorilla!

Ranma finally got a good look at the girl, Akane, when she had finished off the last of the boys and wiped a few strands of hair out of her face. She was cute. A heart shaped face and long blue black hair wavering in the wind.

Sensing his time, Tatewaki stepped out from behind the tree and tossed a flower through the air. The girl caught it on reflex and then crushed it beneath her feet. "Once again I am in awe of you prowess, Akane Tendou. These simple peasants thought themselves worthy of your love when only I, Tatewaki Kuno, am destined for thee!"

During the speech Ranma had jumped out of the tree and sat down on the stone handrail beside the steps leading into the front doors of the school. From his viewpoint, Akane didn’t really look all that happy to see Tatewaki. But if she were willing to go through all of this just to be near him everyday, then maybe Akane had to hide her real feelings for some reason Ranma couldn’t understand. Finally shrugging, Ranma just waited for the fight to be over. He was also interested to see if Tatewaki would actually fight the girl with all of his skill.

"Hello, sempai," Akane frowned. "You’re going to make me late for class so let’s just get this over with."

"As you wish, Akane Tendou," Kuno drew forth his bokken. "Would you face the rising champion of the Kendo world, Sho-" Tatewaki balked for a moment, recalling his pigtailed goddess’ remark upon his previous title, "Blue Thunder," yes, that did sound better, "Tatewaki Kuno. If I am defeated then I shall date with thee!"

Scowling further, Akane cocked back her fists and rushed forward. Tatewaki barely put up any real defense and Akane slammed her fist into the kendoist’s face. "Who wants to date with you?!"

Ranma winced as he watched Tatewaki become embedded in the side of the school and then collapse, unconscious, onto the ground. "That musta hurt."

"What do you want?!" Akane snapped at Ranma.

"Me?" Ranma pointed at himself and then shook his head. "I ain’t interested."

This didn’t seem to appease Akane at all. Her eyes narrowed and she balled up her fists again. "And what the hell is that supposed to mean?!"

"It means I ain’t interested in beatin ya up and datin ya!" Ranma returned with the same angry voice.

Akane glared at him further, snatched up her book bag, and stomped into the school, leaving small cracks in the cement as she went.

Shaking his head, Ranma grabbed a hold of one of Tatewaki’s ankles and decided to drag him to the nurse’s office. It was only polite since Ranma was living at the Kuno mansion now.

~

The school uniform was an ugly, restricting looking blue gray suit for the guys with a skirt for the girls. Ranma was sickened at the sight of just being one of these similarly dressed people. How were they supposed to fight in those silly things?

He thought only of this as he entered the classroom and stood before the other students. Tatewaki was in a class higher so he didn’t know anybody. Well, he knew that angry aura towards the center. From the moment he stepped in, Akane had been glaring at him with a fury he’d never seen anyone display before. This was the girl Tatewaki liked?

"Class," the instructor called their attention, "we have a new student who just recently returned from a trip to China. Please introduce yourself."

Ranma bowed quickly, "I’m Ranma Saotome . . ."

A quick look into Akane’s mind would disturb some people with the amazingly errant thoughts that she took on as truth. As Ranma stepped in she was at first angry that the boy from this morning was coming in to challenge her. He should have taken his chance when they were outside and before school had started.

Akane hated these perverts who always challenged her for a date. There was no way she would go out with them even if they did win. She was the best in Nerima so it wasn’t like that was going to happen anytime soon anyway.

Now this arrogant, perverted boy who had brushed her off in the morning was having second thoughts?!

He was introduced. Akane heard his name, Ranma Saotome, and she became even angrier. He wasn’t going to challenge her! He was here to join her class! Probably so he could watch her and have his perverted little thoughts running all day long! Why that disgusting, perverted boy! He wouldn’t even fight her. He must have been scared, but he hadn’t acted like it. The pervert was making fun of her! She remembered now, he said she wasn’t a good fighter! Why that . . "BAKA!"

The class jumped a foot when Akane suddenly screamed and leapt from her seat with a flaming mallet in her hand. She was surrounded in a red aura and aimed straight for Ranma, who had been nearly asleep for the past twenty minutes since the lessons started.

In less than one minute, Ranma had dodged the blow, had his desk destroyed, and was sent into the hall to hold buckets of water along with Akane Tendou. What had he done to deserve this?

"This is all your fault," Akane growled and fixed her arm position to hold the buckets better.

"My fault?" Ranma blinked then looked at her with an angry scowl. "You’re the deranged macho chick that suddenly leapt at me with a mallet! How is this my fault?!"

Akane’s lips pulled back in a snarl, "If you had just challenged me outside rather than come after me during class this would never have happened!"

"What the heck are you talking about?!" Ranma would have pulled at his hair, but he didn’t want to get splashed by the buckets in his hands. "I’m not after ya, you stupid tomboy! I’m in the class, and who would want to win a date with an uncute, strong as a gorilla, sexless, macho tomboy like you?!"

At least Ranma knew what he said this time to get Akane so angry. So caught up in his angry rebuttal he almost missed the bucket of water being launched at his head and was nearly splashed. There were no more insults coming forth, instead a steady flow of howling screams. Ranma dodged the next bucket of water, dropped his own and started racing down the hall as Akane chased him with her mallet.

Looking over his shoulder at the girl chasing him, Ranma called back, "Let’s take this outside!"

"Fine!" Akane followed as Ranma suddenly jumped out the school’s window, forgetting for the moment they were on the third floor. She didn’t forget once she was flying through the air, waving her hands frantically. "EEEK!"

Ranma stopped for a moment as he realized Akane may not be able to handle this high fall. He looked down and realized neither could he. WHO WAS THE MORON THAT PUT THE POOL THERE!?! "Crap!"

Students above looked out in surprise to see the two martial artists fall into the pool. "Boy, lucky for them that swimming pool was there."

Lucky she says, Ranma thought miserably. Beneath the water he felt the change and quickly tightened up her pants. Something seemed wrong though. There was a darkness descending on her. A quick glance over her shoulder showed Akane, waving and kicking desperately to stop her sinking. As angry as she was, Ranma couldn’t leave Akane like this. She grabbed the girl by the waist to start taking her back up.

As soon as Ranma had a grip on Akane, the girl instantly latched onto her. Caught off guard, Ranma lost a bit of air and had a harder time of swimming back to the surface. Feeling the bigger girl begin to quiet down, Ranma got scared and pushed off against the bottom of the pool as hard as she could.

They broke the surface and Ranma landed on the cement and quickly laid Akane out on the ground. She started pumping the girl’s chest and then trying to breathe into her mouth. From above she could hear others gasp at the situation.

Ranma pumped Akane’s chest again then suddenly pulled back as the girl released a mouthful of water. She coughed and rolled onto her side to expel the last of the water. Akane was trembling in partial shock and curled in on herself.

"You okay, Akane?" Ranma asked, feeling a strong pulse at the girl’s neck.

Taking a deep breath, Akane looked up at the redhead who had saved her. "Thank you." She coughed again into the ground and spat out a little chlorinated water. "What happened to that bastard who almost drowned me?"

Ranma-chan scowled. "You jumped into the pool after him, and when he saw ya drownin he saved yer life. You’d be dead if he weren’t there."

Akane blinked and lay her head back down on the cement.

"Pigtailed girl! Akane Tendou! I’ve come to save you!"

Ranma looked up to see Tatewaki racing towards them with arms open and a smile on his face. She shook her head and checked to make sure Akane was okay. The arms that suddenly circled her chest and picked her up in a hug would teach her to stay on guard.

"Oh, my pigtailed fiancée and the fierce Akane Tendou together! There is no more perfect sight!" Tatewaki enthused. Ranma was about to break the hold and punt the boy into space when someone beat her to it.

Akane seemed to act on reflex whenever Tatewaki was around. A swift uppercut solved Ranma’s problems nicely. "Pervert," she muttered then made a friendly smile for Ranma-chan. She then eyed the redhead carefully. "What was that about a fiancée?"

Ranma hung her head. She could hear the surprise in the voice of others above her. Things were not going well today.

~

Back in the Kuno mansion dojo Ranma had time to think finally. School was not something he was looking forward to seeing again. It wouldn’t have been bad except that people thought his cursed form was engaged to Tatewaki. Ranma mentally blinked, yep school pretty much sucked.

After the little excitement with Akane, Ranma was stuck as a girl the rest of the day. She tried to get to some hot water, but Akane always seemed to be there to head her off. Save one girl’s life and they’re all over you. Life could be so cruel. Akane talked to her about weird things Ranma had trouble following. Why would she be watching romantic comedies? Every now and then Akane tried to breach a subject about Ranma and then clamed up, like she was unsure if she wanted to ask.

Teachers in class thought she was Ranma’s sister, who was coincidentally named Ranma. That wasn’t too bad since it meant no one knew she had a curse. Being two separate people was a lot less humiliating than people knowing the truth.

During lunch, Ranma had begun to wonder about this other side to Akane, the person who wasn’t angry and scowling all the time. This Akane was sweet and friendly, and almost cute. Ranma-chan tried to ask about Akane relationship with Tatewaki, but Akane just shook it off, patted her hand, and said there was no reason to worry. Whatever that had meant. Ranma still didn’t understand this whole morning sparring thing.

"Truly, you are dedicated to the Art. It only saddens me that you would not practice to be a mightier samurai such as myself," Kuno entered the underground dojo in his usual dark hakima and bokken in hand.

"Oh, hey, Tatewaki," Ranma acknowledged the older boy while still running through his Anything Goes kata. Tatewaki wasn’t that bad of guy to hang out with if you didn’t mind the Shakespeare, if you weren’t a girl, and if you were at a mandatory hundred meters apart. "Yo, Tatewaki, I wanna ask ya somethin."

"As do I, Ranma Saotome, but you may proceed."

Ranma started, stopped and looked at Tatewaki, and then continued. "I wanna ask how the whole morning fight thing started."

"Ah, a fine question," Tatewaki nodded solemnly. "It began on a bright morn as the sun peered over the great sea to shine down with inspiration of divine origin. On that day, God presented unto the great Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, his fierce tigress Akane Tendou. It was not enough that I confess my love however, such a warrior maiden deserves the honor of being beaten in honorable battle! So did I challenge all other unfortunate fools who thought themselves worthy of her to defeat her in combat and thus win her heart."

Ranma pause in mid kick, in the air, and turned his head to stare Tatewaki straight in the eyes. "You told everyone that if they wanted to go out with her then they would have to beat her up?"

"Now thine question is answered and so mine shall come. Tell me Ranma, where is thine sister?"

"Yeah, what about my sister?" Ranma asked, landing on his feet. "Ain’t it wrong fer ya to go after Akane when you’re engaged to my sister?" He really should learn when to shut up.

Tatewaki was about to comment when he paused to consider. Was it not true that he was given a more radiant sun of martial prowess and engaged to that lovely goddess? Yes, he was a champion of this mortal realm, it was not his place to question the aspirations of the gods. "This requires some more thought on my part."

"Master Tatewaki, Master Ranma, dinner is served," Sasuke appeared from the shadows and bowed to the two martial artists. Ranma was a little unnerved about Sasuke skill as a ninja, but the little man was basically harmless, and he had just mentioned dinner!

Ranma would later recall the conversation and hit himself, but for now he would eat.

They entered the dining room to find Kodachi and the fathers already present and waiting. Large platters of food were set down, and like yesterday, the mere smell was making Ranma drool.

"Enjoy, my Ranma-sama," Kodachi laughed to herself. She wore a black dress and was seated closest to where Ranma would be. "I made it myself."

Hey, Ranma smiled, if Kodachi could cook then maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all. She laughed suddenly and Ranma shuddered. Just think about the food, he told himself.

Everyone sat down while Sasuke quickly served them generous portions. Ranma shivered pleasantly at the sight. Unable to resist, Ranma’s hands began to blur in motion and food began to disappear into his mouth.

He shuddered again.

As did everyone else.

And one by one they all tipped over in their chairs, frozen in position.

Smiling perkily, Kodachi stood up from her seat, pranced over to Ranma’s seat, slung him over her shoulder, and laughed herself silly as she skipped off to places unknown.

~

Things probably weren’t as bad as he first thought. Ranma was lying in a soft bed in the guestroom across from his father. After Kodachi’s ‘romantic’ date of watching her plants grow in the green house while he was paralyzed, Ranma came to realize life was starting to look up. Here he was well fed, living comfortably, and he had a cute fiancée that looked even cuter when she smiled. And that laugh of hers, it made his heart beat that much faster.

Tatewaki himself wasn’t that bad of a guy. He was a good fighter and would make a great sparring partner. He was a little older, but that just meant he was someone to look up to, someone to help guide him through life in the city, which Ranma had been out of for a long time.

And Kuno-ojiisan, he was quite a character. The Hawaiian thing looked like a pretty trendy style. Maybe Ranma should go look for some nice pineapple shirts with palm trees. Ranma was even starting to see the truth behind the bowl haircut idea of Kuno’s. Maybe he should reconsider and go get his pigtail cut off. Heck, why not a good crewcut while he was at it?

Oh, this was such a nice family. Kodachi was a beautiful, caring girl and Tatewaki was a great, noble man. This double engagement thing wasn’t sounding too bad at all. Maybe they could make this a sort of double marriage, Kodachi on his left and Tatewaki on his right. They could even find some sort of half-and-half caricature to place on top of the wedding cake.

Smiling at the wonderful visions of the future running through his mind, Ranma, for some reason, wondered if the toxins running through his blood stream might have somehow affected his judgement?

Not likely. Now back to those Hawaiian shirts . . .

End Chapter Two

* * *

Hey, I like this. I’m sure Ranma will live quite happily with the Kunos so long as they keep him drugged! Cough, cough. Well, there is more Kuno engagement fun to come.

Ja ne.