| Electrical Engineering Explained | ||||||||||||||||
| This page explains everything from electricity to the quirks with the people who think that stuff is cool (myself included)!!! These things have either been e-mailed to me or I found them somewhere out there in cyberspace. Enjoy... | ||||||||||||||||
| So what is this electricity stuff anyway??? | ||||||||||||||||
| Today's scientific question is: What in the world is electricity and where does it go after it leaves the toaster? Here is a simple experiment that will teach you an important electrical lesson: On a cool, dry, day, scuff your feet along a carpet, then reach your hand into a friend's mouth and touch one of his dental fillings. Did you notice how you friend twitched violently and cried out in pain? This teaches one that electricity can be a very powerful force, but we must never use it to hurt others unless we need to learn an important lesson about electricity. It also illustrates how an electrical circuit works. When you scuffed your feet, you picked up batches of "Electrons", which are very small objects that carpet manufacturers weave into carpet so that they will attract dirt. The electrons travel through your bloodstream and collect in your finger, where they form a spark that leaps to your friends filling, then traveling back down to his feet and back into the carpet, thus completing the circuit. AMAZING ELECTRICAL FACT: If you scuffed your feet long enough without touching anything, you would build up so many electrons that your finger would explode! But this is nothing to worry about unless you have carpeting. Although we modern persons tend to take electric lights, radios, mixers, etc for granted, hundreds of years ago people did not have any of these things, which is just as well because there was no place to plug them in. Then along came the first electrical pioneer, Benjamin Franklin, who flew a kite in a lightening storm and received a serious electric shock. This proved that lightening was powered by the same force as carpets, but also damaged Franklin's brain so severely that he started speaking only in incomprehensible maxims, such as "A penny saved is a penny earned." Eventually he had to be given a job running the post office. After Franklin came a herd of electrical pioneers whose names have become part of our electrical terminology: Myron Volt, Mary Louise Amp, James Watt, Bob Transformer etc. But the greatest electrical pioneer of them all was Thomas Edison, who was a brilliant inventor despite the fact that he had little formal education and lived in New Jersey. Edison's first major invention in 1877 was the phonogram, which could soon be found in thousands of American homes, where it basically sat until 1923 when the record was invented. But Edison's greatest achievement came in 1879 when he invented the Electric Company. Edison's design was a brilliant adaptation of the simple electric circuit: The electric company sends electricity through a wire to a customers house then immediately gets the electricity back through another wire, then (this is the best part) sends it right back to the customer again. Today, thanks to men like Edison and Franklin, we receive almost unlimited benefits from electricity. For example, in the past decade scientists have developed the laser, an electronic appliance so powerful that it can vaporize a bulldozer 2000 yards away, yet so precise that doctors can use it to perform delicate operations to the human eyeball, provided they remember to change the power settings from "Bulldozer" to "Eyeball". |
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| Everything that follows I have found somewhere and they seem to be refering directly to myself, so I just had to paste them here. | ||||||||||||||||
| Typical engineer's relationships | ||||||||||||||||
| A boy was crossing the road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it into his pocket. The frog spoke up again, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The boy took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to his pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the boy took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why don't you kiss me?" The boy said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool." | ||||||||||||||||
| Typical engineer's fashion statement | ||||||||||||||||
| Clothes are the lowest priority for an engineer, assuming the basic thresholds for temperature and decency have been satisfied. If no appendages are freezing or sticking together, and if no potentially controversial body parts are swinging around in plain view then the objectives of clothing have been met. Anything else is a waste. | ||||||||||||||||