W3 DA PEOPLA OF DA UNIETD STAETS IN ORDER 2 FORM A MOR3 PARFACT UNION 3STABLISH JUSTIEC INSURE DOMASTIC TRANQUILITY PROVIED FOR TEH COMON DEFENS3 PROMOTE TEH G3NARAL W3LFAER AND SECUR3 TEH BLESNGS OF LIEBRTY 2 OURSALVAS AND OUR POSTERITY DO ORDANE AND ESTABLISH THIS CONSTITUTION FOR DA UNIETD STAETS OF M3RICA!1!!! OMG

ARTICL3 I
S3CTION 1!!!11! AL L3GISLATIEV POW3RS H3REIN GRANTED SHAL B VESTED IN A CONGRES OF DA UNIETD STAETS WHICH SHAL CONSIST OF A SENAET AND HOUSE OF RAPR3SENTATIEVS111!111! LOL

SECTION 2!1!!!11 OMG LOL TEH HOUS3 OF REPRAS3NTATIEVS SHAL B COMPOSAD OF MEMBRS CHOSEN EV3RY SECOND Y3AR BY TEH P3OPLA OF TEH SEV3RAL STAETS AND TEH AL3C2RS IN EACH STAET SHAL HAEV TEH QUALIFICATIONS REQUISIET FOR EL3C2RS OF DA MOST NUMEROUS BRANCH OF DA STAET LEGISLATURE!1!!!1! WTF

NO P3RSON SHAL B A REPRES3NTATIEV WHO SHAL NOT HAEV ATANE3D 2 DA AEG OF TWENTY FIEV YEARS AND B3N S3VEN YAARS A CITIEZN OF TEH UNIETD STAETS AND WHO SHAL NOT WHEN EL3CTAD B AN INHABITANT OF TAHT STAET IN WHICH HE SHAL B CHOS3N1!!11!! WTF

REPR3SENTATIEVS AND DIERCT TAEXS SHAL B APORTIONED MONG DA S3VERAL STAETS WHICH MAY B INCLUDED WITHIN THIS UNION ACORDNG 2 THEYRE R3SPECTIEV NUMBRS WHICH SHAL B D3TERMIEND BY ADNG 2 TEH WHOL3 NUMBR OF FRE PERSONS INCLUDNG THOS3 BOUND 2 SERVIEC FOR A TERM OF YAARS AND EXCLUDNG INDIANS NOT TAEXD THRE FIFTHS OF AL OTHAR PERSONS!!!11!1 OMG WTF LOL TEH ACTUAL ENUMARATION SHAL B MAED WITHIN THRE YEARS AFT3R DA FIRST METNG OF DA CONGRES OF DA UNIETD STAETS AND WITHIN 3VERY SUBSEQU3NT TARM OF TEN Y3ARS IN SUCH MAN3R AS THAY SHAL BY LAW DIERCT111!111! OMG DA NUMBR OF R3PR3SANTATIEVS SHAL NOT EXCED ONE FOR EV3RY THIRTY THOUSAND BUT EACH STAET SHAL HAEV AT L3AST ONA RAPRES3NTATIEV AND UNTIL SUCH ENUM3RATION SHAL B MAED TEH STAET OF NU HMPSHIER SHAL B ANTITLED 2 CHUS3 THRE MASACHUSETS AIGHT RHODE ISLAND AND PROVIEDNCE PLANTATIONS ONE CONECTICUT FIEV NU YORK SIX NU JERS3Y FOUR P3NSYLVANIA AIGHT R ON3 MARYLAND SIX VIRGINIA T3N NORTH CAROLINA FIEV SOUTH CAROLINA FIEV AND GEORGIA THRE!!11!!1 WTF LOL

WHEN VACANCEIS HAPAN IN TEH RAPRAS3NTATION FROM ANY STAET TEH 3XACUTIEV AUTHORITY THEIR SHAL ISUE WRITS OF EL3CTION 2 FIL SUCH VACANCEIS11!1 OMG DA HOUS3 OF R3PRESENTATIEVS SHAL CHOS3 THEYRE SPAAEKR AND OTHAR OFIECRS AND SHAL HAEV DA SOLE POWER OF IMPEACHMENT!!!1!! WTF

SACTION 31!111111 OMG LOL TEH S3NAET OF DA UNIETD STAETS SHAL B COMPOS3D OF TWO SANA2RS FROM EACH STAET CHOSAN BY DA LEGISLATURE THEYRE FOR SIX YAARS AND EACH S3NA2R SHAL HAEV ONE VOTE!!11111

IMEDIAETLY AFTER THAY SHAL B ASAMBLED IN CONSEQUANC3 OF DA FIRST EL3CTION TH3Y SHAL B DIVIEDD AS EQUALY AS MAY B IN2 THRE CLASAS!1!!1!!! OMG LOL DA S3ATS OF DA S3NA2RS OF TEH FIRST CLAS SHAL B VACAETD AT TEH AXPIRATION OF TEH SECOND Y3AR OF TEH SACOND CLAS AT TEH 3XPIRATION OF TEH FOURTH Y3AR AND DA THIRD CLAS AT TEH 3XPIRATION OF DA SIXTH YAAR SO TAHT ON3 THIRD MAY B CHOSEN EV3RY S3COND YAAR AND IF VACANCEIS HAP3N BY R3SIGNATION OR OTHERWIES DURNG TEH RECAS OF DA LEGISLATURE OF ANY STAET TEH AX3CUTIEV THEYRE MAY MAEK TEMPORARY APOINTMANTS UNTIL DA NEXT METNG OF DA LEGISLATURE WHICH SHAL TH3N FIL SUCH VACANCEIS1!!!!11! LOL

NO PERSON SHAL B A SENA2R WHO SHAL NOT HAEV ATANEAD 2 TEH AEG OF THIRTY Y3ARS AND BEN NIEN YAARS A CITIEZN OF TEH UNIETD STAETS AND WHO SHAL NOT WHAN ELECTED B AN INHABITANT OF TAHT STAET FOR WHICH H3 SHAL B CHOSAN1!11 TEH VIEC PR3SIEDNT OF DA UNIETD STAETS SHAL B PRESIEDNT OF DA S3NAET BUT SHAL HAEV NO VOTE UNLES THEY B 3QUALY DIVIEDD!!!1!1 LOL TEH SENAET SHAL CHOS3 THERE OTHER OFIECRS AND ALSO A PR3SIEDNT PRO TEMPORA IN DA ABSENC3 OF DA VIEC PRESIEDNT OR WH3N HE SHAL 3XARCIES DA OFIEC OF PRESIEDNT OF TEH UNIETD STAETS!11!111! OMG LOL DA SENAET SHAL HAEV DA SOL3 POW3R 2 TRY AL IMPEACHM3NTS11!111 WTF LOL WHEN SITNG FOR TAHT PURPOSE TH3Y SHAL B ON OATH OR AFIRMATION1!!11!11 WHAN DA PRASIEDNT OF TEH UNIETD STAETS IS TREID DA CHEIF JUSTIEC SHAL PRASIED AND NO P3RSON SHAL B CONVICT3D WITHOUT TEH CONCUR3NCE OF TWO THIRDS OF DA M3MBRS PRAS3NT11111 OMG WTF LOL

JUDGMANT IN CAESS OF IMP3ACHM3NT SHAL NOT EXTAND FURTHER THAN 2 REMOVAL FROM OFIEC AND DISQUALIFICATION 2 HOLD AND ANJOY ANY OFIEC OF HONOR TRUST OR PROFIT UND3R DA UNIETD STAETS BUT TEH PARTY CONVICT3D SHAL N3VERTHEL3S B LIABLE AND SUBJ3CT 2 INDICTMANT TRIAL JUDGMENT AND PUNISHM3NT ACORDNG 2 LAW1!!111!

S3CTION 41!!! OMG WTF TEH TIEMS PLAECS AND MANER OF HOLDNG 3LECTIONS FOR SENA2RS AND RAPRASENTATIEVS SHAL B PRESCRIEBD IN AACH STAET BY DA L3GISLATURA THEIR BUT TEH CONGRAS MAY AT ANY TIEM BY LAW MAEK OR ALTER SUCH REGULATIONS AXC3PT AS 2 DA PLAECS OF CHOSNG SENA2RS1!111 OMG DA CONGRES SHAL ASEMBLA AT L3AST ONC3 IN AVERY YEAR AND SUCH METNG SHAL B ON TEH FIRST MONDAY IN DECEMBR UNL3S THEY SHAL BY LAW APOINT A DIFAR3NT DAY11111! LOL

S3CTION 5!!!11 WTF AACH HOUSE SHAL B TEH JUDG3 OF TEH ELECTIONS RETURNS AND QUALIFICATIONS OF ITS OWN MEMBRS AND A MAJORITY OF AACH SHAL CONSTITUTE A QUORUM 2 DO BUSIENS BUT A SMAL3R NUMBR MAY ADJOURN FROM DAY 2 DAY AND MAY B AUTHORIEZD 2 COMPEL TEH ATANDANCE OF ABSENT MAMBRS IN SUCH MANER AND UNDAR SUCH PENALTEIS AS EACH HOUSA MAY PROVIED11!!!111 LOL

3ACH HOUS3 MAY D3TARMIEN TEH RULAS OF ITS PROCEDNGS PUNISH ITS MEMBRS FOR DISORDERLY BHAVIOR AND WIT TEH CONCURANC3 OF TWO THIRDS EXPEL A MEMBR!!!11111 WTF LOL

AACH HOUSE SHAL KEP A JOURNAL OF ITS PROCEDNGS AND FROM TIEM 2 TIEM PUBLISH DA SM3 EXCAPTNG SUCH PARTS AS MAY IN THERE JUDGMENT REQUIER S3CR3CY AND TEH YEAS AND NAYS OF DA MEMBRS OF 3ITH3R HOUS3 ON ANY QU3STION SHAL AT TEH DASIER OF ON3 FIFTH OF THOSE PRESANT B ENTERED ON DA JOURNAL!1!! OMG WTF LOL

NAITHER HOUSE DURNG TEH S3SION OF CONGRES SHAL WITHOUT DA CONSENT OF TEH OTHER ADJOURN FOR MORA THAN THRE DAYS NOR 2 ANY OTHER PLAEC THAN TAHT IN WHICH DA TWO HOUSAS SHAL B SITNG1!!! OMG WTF LOL

S3CTION 61!!!!11 WTF TEH S3NA2RS AND REPRASANTATIEVS SHAL RACAIEV A COMP3NSATION FOR THERE S3RVIECS 2 B ASCERTANE3D BY LAW AND PADE OUT OF DA TRAASURY OF TEH UNIETD STAETS11!1111 OMG TH3Y SHAL IN AL CAESS AXCEPT TREASON FALONY AND BREACH OF TEH PAAEC B PRIVIELGED FROM AR3ST DURNG THEYRE ATANDANCE AT DA SASION OF THEYRE RESPECTIEV HOUSES AND IN GONG 2 AND RATURNNG FROM TEH SME AND FOR ANY SPECH OR DEBAET IN EITHAR HOUS3 THEY SHAL NOT B QU3STION3D IN ANY OTH3R PLAEC!!!!!!1! OMG WTF

NO S3NA2R OR REPR3S3NTATIEV SHAL DURNG TEH TIEM FOR WHICH HA WAS ELACT3D B APOINT3D 2 ANY CIVIL OFIEC UNDER DA AUTHORITY OF DA UNIETD STAETS WHICH SHAL HAEV BEN CR3AETD OR DA 3MOLUMANTS WH3R3OF SHAL HAEV B3N INCRAAESD DURNG SUCH TIEM AND NO PERSON HOLDNG ANY OFIEC UND3R DA UNIETD STAETS SHAL B A MAMBR OF 3ITH3R HOUSA DURNG HIS CONTINUANC3 IN OFIEC1!1!111 WTF

S3CTION 7!1!1!1 OMG WTF AL BILS FOR RASENG REVENUE SHAL ORIGINAET IN TEH HOUSA OF REPR3SENTATIEVS BUT TEH SENAET MAY PROPOS3 OR CONCUR WIT MENDM3NTS AS ON OTH3R BILS1!!1! WTF

3V3RY BIL WHICH SHAL HAEV PAS3D DA HOUS3 OF RAPRESENTATIEVS AND TEH SANAET SHAL BFORA IT BCOM3 A LAW B PRESENTAD 2 DA PRESIEDNT OF DA UNIETD STAETS IF HE APROVE H3 SHAL SIGN IT BUT IF NOT H3 SHAL RETURN IT WIT HIS OBJECTIONS 2 TAHT HOUS3 IN WHICH IT SHAL HAEV ORIGINAETD WHO SHAL ENT3R DA OBJ3CTIONS AT LARGE ON THEYRE JOURNAL AND PROCED 2 RECONSIEDR IT!!!!1 OMG IF AFTER SUCH RECONSIEDRATION TWO THIRDS OF TAHT HOUS3 SHAL AGRE 2 PAS TEH BIL IT SHAL B S3NT 2GETHER WIT DA OBJECTIONS 2 DA OTHER HOUSE BY WHICH IT SHAL LIEKWIES B RECONSIEDRED AND IF APROVED BY TWO THIRDS OF TAHT HOUSA IT SHAL BCOM3 A LAW1!11!! WTF BUT IN AL SUCH CAESS TEH VOT3S OF BOTH HOUS3S SHAL B D3TERMIEND BY YAAS AND NAYS AND DA NMAS OF DA PERSONS VOTNG FOR AND AGANEST TEH BIL SHAL B 3NT3RED ON DA JOURNAL OF 3ACH HOUSE R3SPACTIEVLY!!111111 OMG LOL IF ANY BIL SHAL NOT B RETURNED BY TEH PRESIEDNT WITHIN T3N DAYS (SUNDAYS 3XCAPTAD) AFTAR IT SHAL HAEV B3N PRES3NTED 2 HIM DA SMA SHAL B A LAW IN LIEK MANER AS IF HE HAD SIGNED IT UNL3S TEH CONGR3S BY THEYRE ADJOURNM3NT PRAV3NT ITS R3TURN IN WHICH CAES IT SHAL NOT B A LAW!1!11!

3VERY ORDER RASOLUTION OR VOT3 2 WHICH TEH CONCUR3NC3 OF DA SANAET AND HOUSA OF R3PR3SENTATIEVS MAY B NEC3SARY (3XC3PT ON A QUASTION OF ADJOURNM3NT) SHAL B PRASENTAD 2 TEH PRESIEDNT OF TEH UNIETD STAETS AND BFOR3 DA SME SHAL TAEK 3FECT SHAL B APROVED BY HIM OR BNG DISAPROVED BY HIM SHAL B REPASED BY TWO THIRDS OF TEH SENAET AND HOUSE OF REPRES3NTATIEVS ACORDNG 2 DA RUL3S AND LIMITATIONS PR3SCRIEBD IN TEH CAES OF A BIL!11!1 WTF LOL

SACTION 81!!!!1!1 DA CONGRES SHAL HAEV POW3R 2 LAY AND COLECT TAEXS DUTEIS IMPOSTS AND 3XCIESS 2 PAY TEH DEBTS AND PROVIED FOR TEH COMON DEFENSE AND GENARAL R OF DA UNIETD STAETS BUT AL DUTEIS IMPOSTS AND 3XCIESS SHAL B UNIFORM THROUGHOUT DA UNIETD STAETS

2 BOROW MON3Y ON DA CREDIT OF TEH UNIETD STAETS

2 REGULAET COMARCE WIT FOREIGN NATIONS AND MONG DA SEV3RAL STAETS AND WIT DA INDIAN TRIEBS

2 ESTABLISH A UNIFORM RULE OF NATURALIZATION AND UNIFORM LAWS ON TEH SUBJECT OF BANKRUPTCEIS THROUGHOUT DA UNIETD STAETS

2 COIN MONEY R3GULAET DA VALUE THEIR AND OF FORAIGN COIN AND FIX DA STANDARD OF WAIGHTS AND MAASURES

2 PROVIED FOR DA PUNISHMENT OF COUNTERFEITNG DA S3CURITEIS AND CUR3NT COIN OF TEH UNIETD STAETS

2 ESTABLISH POST OFIECS AND POST ROADS

2 PROMOTE TEH PROGR3S OF SCEINCA AND US3FUL ARTS BY SECURNG FOR LIMIETD TIEMS 2 AUTHORS AND INV3N2RS DA EXCLUSIEV RIGHT 2 THEYRE R3SPECTIEV WRITNGS AND DISCOVEREIS

2 CONSTITUTE TRIBUNALS INF3RIOR 2 TEH SUPREMA COURT

2 DAFIEN AND PUNISH PIRACEIS AND FALONEIS COMIT3D ON DA HIGH SEAS AND OF3NSES AGANEST TEH LAW OF NATIONS

2 R WAR GRANT LATERS OF MARQUE AND REPRISAL AND MAEK RULES CONCERNNG CAPTURES ON LAND AND W8R

2 RASE3 AND SUPORT ARMEIS BUT NO APROPRIATION OF MONEY 2 TAHT USE SHAL B FOR A LONGER TERM THAN TWO Y3ARS

2 PROVIED AND MANETANE A NAVY

2 MAEK RULAS FOR DA GOV3RNM3NT AND R3GULATION OF DA LAND AND NAVAL FORC3S

2 PROVIED FOR CALNG FORTH DA MILITIA 2 EXECUTE DA LAWS OF TEH UNION SUPRES INSURECTIONS AND REPAL INVASIONS

2 PROVIED FOR ORGANIZNG ARMNG AND DISCIPLINNG DA MILITIA AND FOR GOV3RNNG SUCH PART OF THEM AS MAY B AMPLOYED IN TEH SERVIEC OF DA UNIETD STAETS RASARVNG 2 DA STAETS RESPACTIEVLY TEH APOINTMANT OF DA OFIECRS AND DA AUTHORITY OF TRANENG DA MILITIA ACORDNG 2 TEH DISCIPLIEN PRASCRIEBD BY CONGRAS

2 AX3RCIES 3XCLUSIEV L3GISLATION IN AL CAESS WUT OVER SUCH DISTRICT (NOT EXCEDNG TEN MIELS SQUAER) AS MAY BY CASION OF PARTICULAR STAETS AND TEH AC3PTANC3 OF CONGR3S BCOME TEH SEAT OF DA GOVERNMENT OF DA UNIETD STAETS AND 2 EX3RCIES LIEK AUTHORITY OVER AL PLAECS PURCHAESD BY TEH CONSENT OF TEH LEGISLATURA OF TEH STAET IN WHICH DA SME SHAL B FOR DA 3RACTION OF FORTS MAGAZIENS ARS3NALS DOKYARDS AND OTH3R NEDFUL BUILDNGS-AND

2 MAEK AL LAWS WHICH SHAL B NECESARY AND PROPAR FOR CARYNG IN2 EXACUTION DA FOR3GONG POWERS AND AL OTH3R POWARS VEST3D BY THIS CONSTITUTION IN TEH GOVERNMANT OF TEH UNIETD STAETS OR IN ANY DEPARTM3NT OR OFIECR THEYRE1!1!1 LOL

S3CTION 9!!111!! OMG LOL TEH MIGRATION OR IMPORTATION OF SUCH PARSONS AS ANY OF TEH STAETS NOW EXISTNG SHAL THINK PROP3R 2 ADMIT SHAL NOT B O BY TEH CONGRAS PRIOR 2 TEH YAAR ONA THOUSAND AIGHT HUNDR3D AND 3IGHT BUT A TAX OR DUTY MAY B IMPOS3D ON SUCH IMPORTATION NOT 3XCEDNG TEN DOLARS FOR AACH PERSON!!1!!1 OMG DA PRIVIELGE OF TEH WRIT OF HAEBAS CORPUS SHAL NOT B SUSPEND3D UNLES WHAN IN CAESS OF REBLION OR INVASION TEH PUBLIC SAEFTY MAY REQUIER IT111!1!! OMG WTF

NO BIL OF ATANED3R OR EX POST FAC2 LAW SHAL B PASED111!!!

NO CAPITATION OR OTH3R DIERCT TAX SHAL B LADE UNLES IN PROPORTION 2 TEH CENSUS OR ANUM3RATION HAR3IN BFORA DIERCTAD 2 B TAEKN11!1 LOL

NO TAX OR DUTY SHAL B LADE ON ARTICLAS EXPORTED FROM ANY STAET1!!!!1! OMG LOL

NO PREFAR3NCA SHAL B GIEVN BY ANY R3GULATION OF COM3RCA OR RAVANU3 2 DA PORTS OF ONA STAET OV3R THOSA OF ANOTH3R NOR SHAL V3S3LS BOUND 2 OR FROM ON3 STAET B OBLIEGD 2 3NTER CL3AR OR PAY DUTEIS IN ANOTHAR11111! WTF LOL

NO MONEY SHAL B DRAWN FROM TEH TR3ASURY BUT IN CONSAQU3NCE OF APROPRIATIONS MAED BY LAW AND A REGULAR STAETMENT AND ACOUNT OF RACEIPTS AND EXPANDITUR3S OF AL PUBLIC MONEY SHAL B PUBLISHAD FROM TIEM 2 TIEM111!! LOL

NO TITLE OF NOBILITY SHAL B GRANTED BY TEH UNIETD STAETS AND NO PERSON HOLDNG ANY OFIEC OF PROFIT OR TRUST UND3R THAM SHAL WITHOUT TEH CONSANT OF TEH CONGRES ACEPT OF ANY PRESANT EMOLUMENT OFIEC OR TITLE OF ANY KIND WUT FROM ANY KNG PRINCE OR FORAIGN STAET1!!1 OMG

S3CTION 10111!11 WTF NO STAET SHAL ENTER IN2 ANY TREATY ALIANCE OR CONF3D3RATION GRANT LETARS OF MARQUA AND RAPRISAL COIN MON3Y 3MIT BILS OF CRADIT MAEK ANYTHNG BUT GOLD AND SILVAR COIN A TENDAR IN PAYMENT OF DEBTS PAS ANY BIL OF ATANEDER EX POST FAC2 LAW OR LAW IMPARENG TEH OBLIGATION OF CONTRACTS OR GRANT ANY TITL3 OF NOBILITY11!!!!!1 OMG

NO STAET SHAL WITHOUT DA CONS3NT OF DA CONGRES LAY ANY IMPOSTS OR DUTEIS ON IMPORTS OR EXPORTS EXC3PT WUT MAY B ABSOLUTALY N3C3SARY FOR EXECUTNG ITS INSP3CTION LAWS AND DA N3T PRODUCE OF AL DUTEIS AND IMPOSTS LADE BY ANY STAET ON IMPORTS OR 3XPORTS SHAL B FOR DA US3 OF DA TR3ASURY OF DA UNIETD STAETS AND AL SUCH LAWS SHAL B SUBJECT 2 TEH R3VISION AND CONTROL OF DA CONGR3S1!11!1!1 LOL

NO STAET SHAL WITHOUT TEH CONSENT OF CONGR3S LAY ANY DUTY OF 2NAEG KEP TROPS OR SHIPS OF WAR IN TIEM OF PEAEC 3NTAR IN2 ANY AGREMENT OR COMPACT WIT ANOTH3R STAET OR WIT A FOREIGN POWER OR ENGAEG IN WAR UNLAS ACTUALY INVAEDD OR IN SUCH IMIENNT DANGER AS WIL NOT ADMIT OF D3LAY!1!11 WTF


ARTICL3 I
S3CTION 111!!1! OMG WTF TEH EX3CUTIEV POWAR SHAL B V3STED IN A PR3SIEDNT OF DA UNIETD STAETS OF M3RICA1!1! OMG WTF HE SHAL HOLD HIS OFIEC DURNG DA TARM OF FOUR YEARS AND 2GETH3R WIT DA VIEC PRASIEDNT CHOS3N FOR DA SME TERM B 3LACTAD AS FOLOWS

3ACH STAET SHAL APOINT IN SUCH MANAR AS TEH L3GISLATURE THEIR MAY DIERCT A NUMBR OF EL3C2RS EQUAL 2 DA WHOLE NUMBR OF S3NA2RS AND REPRESANTATIEVS 2 WHICH DA STAET MAY B 3NTITLED IN DA CONGRES BUT NO SENA2R OR R3PRASANTATIEV OR PERSON HOLDNG AN OFIEC OF TRUST OR PROFIT UNDER TEH UNIETD STAETS SHAL B APOINTED AN ALEC2R1111! OMG LOL TEH 3L3C2RS SHAL MET IN THEYRE R3SPECTIEV STAETS AND VOT3 BY BALOT FOR TWO PARSONS OF WHOM ONE AT L3AST SHAL NOT B AN INHABITANT OF TEH SME STAET WIT THEMSELVAS!1!1 OMG AND THEY SHAL MAEK A LIST OF AL DA P3RSONS VOTAD FOR AND OF TEH NUMBR OF VOTAS FOR EACH WHICH LIST THAY SHAL SIGN AND C3RTIFY AND TRANSMIT SAAELD 2 DA SAAT OF TEH GOVERNMENT OF TEH UNIETD STAETS DIERCTED 2 DA PRASIEDNT OF DA S3NAET!1!!11 LOL TEH PRESIEDNT OF DA SENAET SHAL IN TEH PRESANCE OF TEH SENAET AND HOUS3 OF R3PRASANTATIEVS OPEN AL TEH CERTIFICAETS AND TEH VOT3S SHAL THAN B COUNTED!1!! OMG LOL TEH PARSON HAVNG DA GR3AETST NUMBR OF VOTES SHAL B DA PR3SIEDNT IF SUCH NUMBR B A MAJORITY OF TEH WHOLE NUMBR OF EL3C2RS APOINTAD AND IF THEYRE B MOR3 THAN ONE WHO HAEV SUCH MAJORITY AND HAEV AN 3QUAL NUMBR OF VOT3S THEN TEH HOUSE OF REPR3S3NTATIEVS SHAL IMADIAETLY CHOSE BY BALOT ONA OF TH3M FOR PRESIEDNT AND IF NO PERSON HAEV A MAJORITY THEN FROM TEH FIEV HIGHEST ON DA LIST TEH SADE HOUSA SHAL IN LIEK MANER CHOSE DA PRESIEDNT!1111! LOL BUT IN CHOSNG TEH PRESIEDNT TEH VOTAS SHAL B TAEKN BY STAETS TEH REPR3SENTATION FROM EACH STAET HAVNG ONE VOTA A QUORUM FOR THIS PURPOSE SHAL CONSIST OF A M3MBR OR MEMBRS FROM TWO THIRDS OF TEH STAETS AND A MAJORITY OF AL DA STAETS SHAL B NEC3SARY 2 A CHOIEC11!!111 IN AVARY CAES AFTAR DA CHOIEC OF DA PRESIEDNT TEH PERSON HAVNG TEH GREAETST NUMBR OF VOT3S OF TEH ALAC2RS SHAL B TEH VIEC PRASIEDNT1!11 LOL BUT IF THEIR SHUD R3MANE TWO OR MORE WHO HAEV 3QUAL VOT3S TEH S3NAET SHAL CHOSE FROM TH3M BY BALOT DA VIEC PR3SIEDNT!!11!1 WTF LOL DA CONGRES MAY DETERMIEN DA TIEM OF CHOSNG TEH ALEC2RS AND DA DAY ON WHICH TH3Y SHAL GIEV THERE VOTES WHICH DAY SHAL B TEH SMA THROUGHOUT DA UNIETD STAETS!!111

NO P3RSON EXC3PT A NATURAL BORN CITIEZN OR A CITIEZN OF TEH UNIETD STAETS AT TEH TIEM OF DA ADOPTION OF THIS CONSTITUTION SHAL B ELIGIBLE 2 DA OFIEC OF PRESIEDNT NEITHAR SHAL ANY P3RSON B ALIGIBLA 2 TAHT OFIEC WHO SHAL NOT HAEV ATANEED 2 TEH AEG OF THIRTY FIEV YAARS AND BEN FOURTEN YEARS A RESIEDNT WITHIN DA UNIETD STAETS1!1!! WTF LOL

IN CAES OF TEH REMOVAL OF DA PR3SIEDNT FROM OFIEC OR OF HIS DAATH R3SIGNATION OR INABILITY 2 DISCHARGE TEH POW3RS AND DUTEIS OF DA SADE OFIEC DA SM3 SHAL D3VOLVA ON TEH VIEC PRESIEDNT AND TEH CONGRES MAY BY LAW PROVIED FOR TEH CAES OF REMOVAL DEATH RESIGNATION OR INABILITY BOTH OF TEH PR3SIEDNT AND VIEC PRESIEDNT D3CLARNG WUT OFIECR SHAL THEN ACT AS PRESIEDNT AND SUCH OFIECR SHAL ACT ACORDNGLY UNTIL DA DISABILITY B RAMOVAD OR A PRESIEDNT SHAL B EL3CT3D!111!1 WTF DA PR3SIEDNT SHAL AT STAETD TIEMS RECEIEV FOR HIS SERVIECS A COMP3NSATION WHICH SHAL NEITH3R B INCREAESD NOR DIMINISHAD DURNG TEH PARIOD FOR WHICH HE SHAL HAEV BAN ELECTED AND HA SHAL NOT RECAIEV WITHIN TAHT PERIOD ANY OTHAR AMOLUMANT FROM DA UNIETD STAETS OR ANY OF THEM111!11!1 OMG WTF LOL

BFOR3 H3 ENT3R ON TEH 3XECUTION OF HIS OFIEC H3 SHAL TAEK DA FOLOWNG OATH OR AFIRMATION-I DO SOLAMNLY SWEAR (OR AFIRM) TAHT I WIL FATEHFULY AX3CUTE TEH OFIEC OF PRESIEDNT OF DA UNIETD STAETS AND WIL 2 DA BST OF MAH ABILITY PRESERV3 PROTECT AND DEF3ND TEH CONSTITUTION OF DA UNIETD STAETS!!11 WTF LOL

SECTION 2!1111!1! OMG WTF LOL TEH PRASIEDNT SHAL B COMANDAR IN CHEIF OF TEH MAH AND NAVY OF DA UNIETD STAETS AND OF DA MILITIA OF TEH SEVERAL STAETS WH3N CALAD IN2 DA ACTUAL S3RVIEC OF DA UNIETD STAETS HE MAY REQUIER DA OPINION IN WRITNG OF DA PRINCIPAL OFIECR IN EACH OF DA 3XACUTIEV D3PARTM3NTS UPON ANY SUBJECT RALATNG 2 TEH DUTEIS OF THERE R3SPECTIEV OFIECS AND HE SHAL HAEV POWER 2 GRANT R3PREIVAS AND PARDONS FOR OFENS3S AGANEST TEH UNIETD STAETS EXC3PT IN CAESS OF IMP3ACHMENT!!!1 OMG

HE SHAL HAEV POWAR BY AND WIT TEH ADVIEC AND CONSANT OF TEH SENAET 2 MAEK TRAATEIS PROVIEDD TWO THIRDS OF TEH SENA2RS PR3S3NT CONCUR AND H3 SHAL NOMINAET AND BY AND WIT DA ADVIEC AND CONS3NT OF TEH S3NAET SHAL APOINT MBASADORS OTH3R PUBLIC MINISTERS AND CONSULS JUDGAS OF TEH SUPR3MA COURT AND AL OTHER OFIECRS OF TEH UNIETD STAETS WHOSE APOINTMENTS R NOT HEREIN OTHARWIES PROVIEDD FOR AND WHICH SHAL B ESTABLISH3D BY LAW BUT TEH CONGRAS MAY BY LAW V3ST DA APOINTM3NT OF SUCH INF3RIOR OFIECRS AS THAY THINK PROPER IN DA PRESIEDNT ALONA IN DA COURTS OF LAW OR IN TEH H3ADS OF DEPARTMENTS!11!!!!! LOL DA PRESIEDNT SHAL HAEV POWAR 2 FIL UP AL VACANCEIS TAHT MAY HAPAN DURNG TEH REC3S OF DA S3NAET BY GRANTNG COMISIONS WHICH SHAL 3XPIER AT TEH END OF THERE NEXT S3SION!1!1!1 WTF LOL

SECTION 311!1 LOL H3 SHAL FROM TIEM 2 TIEM GIEV 2 TEH CONGRES INFORMATION OF DA STAET OF TEH UNION AND RECOMEND 2 THERE CONSIEDRATION SUCH MEASURES AS H3 SHAL JUDGE N3CESARY AND 3XPADEINT HE MAY ON EXTRAORDINARY OCASIONS CONVANE BOTH HOUS3S OR AITHER OF THEM AND IN CAES OF DISAGREMENT BTWEN THAM WIT R3SP3CT 2 TEH TIEM OF ADJOURNMENT HE MAY ADJOURN THEM 2 SUCH TIEM AS HE SHAL THINK PROPER HE SHAL RECEIEV MBASADORS AND OTHER PUBLIC MINISTARS HE SHAL TAEK R TAHT TEH LAWS B FATEHFULY 3XECUT3D AND SHAL COMISION AL TEH OFIECRS OF TEH UNIETD STAETS!!!1!!! OMG LOL

SECTION 4111111 WTF LOL TEH PRESIEDNT VIEC PR3SIEDNT AND AL CIVIL OFIECRS OF DA UNIETD STAETS SHAL B REMOVAD FROM OFIEC ON IMPAACHMANT FOR AND CONVICTION OF TREASON BRIEBRY OR OTHAR HIGH CRIEMS AND MISD3MEANORS1!1!1!1!


ARTICLE II
SACTION 1!1!!1 OMG WTF TEH JUDICIAL POWAR OF TEH UNIETD STAETS SHAL B VEST3D IN ONA SUPREME COURT AND IN SUCH INF3RIOR COURTS AS TEH CONGRES MAY FROM TIEM 2 TIEM ORDANE AND ESTABLISH!!!1!! TEH JUDGES BOTH OF TEH SUPR3ME AND INF3RIOR COURTS SHAL HOLD THEYRE OFIECS DURNG GOD BHAVIOUR AND SHAL AT STAETD TIEMS R3CAIEV FOR THEYRE S3RVIECS A COMPENSATION WHICH SHAL NOT B DIMINISH3D DURNG THEYRE CONTINUANCE IN OFIEC111!!!11 LOL

S3CTION 211!! WTF LOL DA JUDICIAL POWER SHAL EXTEND 2 AL CAESS IN LAW AND EQUITY ARISNG UND3R THIS CONSTITUTION TEH LAWS OF TEH UNIETD STAETS AND TREATEIS MAED OR WHICH SHAL B MAED UNDER THERE AUTHORITY-2 AL CAESS AFECTNG MBASADORS OTHER PUBLIC MINISTERS AND CONSULS-2 AL CAESS OF ADMIRALTY AND MARITIEM JURISDICTION-2 CONTROVARSEIS 2 WHICH DA UNIETD STAETS SHAL B A PARTY-2 CONTROVERSEIS BTWEN TWO OR MOR3 STAETS-BTWEN A STAET AND CITIEZNS OF ANOTH3R STAET- BTWEN CITIEZNS OF DIF3RENT STAETS-BTWEN CITIEZNS OF DA SMA STAET CLAMENG LANDS UND3R GRANTS OF DIFAR3NT STAETS AND BTWEN A STAET OR DA CITIEZNS THEIR AND FOR3IGN STAETS CITIEZNS OR SUBJ3CTS!11!11!! OMG WTF LOL

IN AL CAESS AFACTNG MBASADORS OTHER PUBLIC MINISTERS AND CONSULS AND THOSA IN WHICH A STAET SHAL B PARTY DA SUPRAM3 COURT SHAL HAEV ORIGINAL JURISDICTION11!!1 OMG WTF IN AL TEH OTH3R CAESS BFORA MENTIONED DA SUPR3MA COURT SHAL HAEV AP3LAET JURISDICTION BOTH AS 2 LAW AND FACT WIT SUCH AXCEPTIONS AND UNDAR SUCH REGULATIONS AS DA CONGR3S SHAL MAEK111!1111 LOL TEH TRIAL OF AL CRIEMS 3XC3PT IN CAESS OF IMPEACHM3NT SHAL

B BY JURY AND SUCH TRIAL SHAL B HALD IN TEH STAET WHARA TEH SADE CRIEMS SHAL HAEV BAN COMIT3D BUT WHAN NOT COMITED WITHIN ANY STAET DA TRIAL SHAL B AT SUCH PLAEC OR PLAECS AS DA CONGR3S MAY BY LAW HAEV DIERCTED!1!11 WTF

S3CTION 3!!!1!1 LOL TREASON AGANEST TEH UNIETD STAETS SHAL CONSIST ONLY IN LAVYNG WAR AGANEST THEM OR IN ADH3RNG 2 THEYRE ENEMEIS GIVNG TH3M ADE AND COMFORT!1!11! OMG WTF LOL NO PERSON SHAL B CONVICT3D OF TRAASON UNLES ON DA TASTIMONY OF TWO WITNESES 2 DA SMA OVERT ACT OR ON CONF3SION IN OP3N COURT!1!11 OMG LOL DA CONGR3S SHAL HAEV POWER 2 R DA PUNISHMENT OF TRAASON BUT NO ATANED3R OF TREASON SHAL WORK CORUPTION OF BLOD OR FORF3ITURA AXC3PT DURNG DA LIEF OF TEH P3RSON ATANET3D1!1! OMG


ARTICL3 IV
SECTION 1!!!!!11 OMG WTF LOL FUL FATEH AND CR3DIT SHAL B GIEVN IN EACH STAET 2 DA PUBLIC ACTS R3CORDS AND JUDICIAL PROCEDNGS OF EVERY OTHAR STAET1!111 OMG WTF LOL AND TEH CONGR3S MAY BY GENERAL LAWS PR3SCRIEB TEH MANAR IN WHICH SUCH ACTS R3CORDS AND PROCEDNGS SHAL B PROV3D AND DA AFECT THEIR!1!1 WTF

SACTION 2!1!!1!! WTF LOL TEH CITIEZNS OF EACH STAET SHAL B ENTITLED 2 AL PRIVIELGAS AND IMUNITEIS OF CITIEZNS IN DA S3V3RAL STAETS!!!!1 OMG WTF LOL

A PERSON CHARG3D IN ANY STAET WIT TREASON FELONY OR OTHER CRIEM WHO SHAL FLE FROM JUSTIEC AND B FOUND IN ANOTHAR STAET SHAL ON DEMAND OF TEH 3XECUTIEV AUTHORITY OF DA STAET FROM WHICH HE FLED B DELIEVRED UP 2 B R3MOVED 2 DA STAET HAVNG JURISDICTION OF DA CRIEM1!!!1 WTF LOL

NO PARSON HELD 2 SARVIEC OR LABOR IN ONE STAET UNDER TEH LAWS THEYRE 3SCAPNG IN2 ANOTHER SHAL IN CONS3QUANCA OF ANY LAW OR REGULATION THEYRE B DISCHARG3D FROM SUCH S3RVIEC OR LABOR BUT SHAL B D3LIEVR3D UP ON CLAME OF DA PARTY 2 WHOM SUCH SARVIEC OR LABOR MAY B DU3!111!1 OMG

SECTION 3!1!!1! WTF LOL NU STAETS MAY B ADMITAD BY DA CONGR3S IN2 THIS UNION BUT NO NU STAETS SHAL B FORMAD OR AR3CTED WITHIN TEH JURISDICTION OF ANY OTHAR STAET NOR ANY STAET B FORMED BY TEH JUNCTION OF TWO OR MORE STAETS OR PARTS OF STAETS WITHOUT TEH CONS3NT OF DA LAGISLATUR3S OF DA STAETS CONCERNED AS WEL AS OF TEH CONGRAS1111 OMG LOL DA CONGR3S SHAL HAEV POW3R 2 DISPOSA OF AND MAEK AL NEDFUL RULAS AND R3GULATIONS RASPECTNG TEH T3RI2RY OR OTHAR PROPARTY BLONGNG 2 TEH UNIETD STAETS AND NOTHNG IN THIS CONSTITUTION SHAL B SO CONSTRUAD AS 2 PRAJUDIEC ANY CLAMES OF DA UNIETD STAETS OR OF ANY PARTICULAR STAET!!!1!!11

S3CTION 411111 OMG DA UNIETD STAETS SHAL GUARANTE 2 EV3RY STAET IN THIS UNION A R3PUBLICAN FORM OF GOVARNMENT AND SHAL PROT3CT 3ACH OF TH3M AGANEST INVASION AND ON APLICATION OF DA LAGISLATURE OR OF TEH 3XACUTIEV (WHAN TEH L3GISLATURE CANOT B CONV3NED) AGANEST DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!11!!1 LOL


ARTICL3 TEH CONGR3S WH3NEV3R TWO THIRDS OF BOTH HOUSAS SHAL DEM IT NACASARY SHAL PROPOSE M3NDMANTS 2 THIS CONSTITUTION OR ON TEH APLICATION OF TEH L3GISLATUR3S OF TWO THIRDS OF DA SEV3RAL STAETS SHAL CAL A CONVENTION FOR PROPOSNG M3NDMENTS WHICH IN EITHAR CAES SHAL B VALID 2 AL INT3NTS AND PURPOSES AS PART OF THIS CONSTITUTION WHEN RATIFEID BY DA LEGISLATUR3S OF THRE FOURTHS OF TEH SEVERAL STAETS OR BY CONV3NTIONS IN THRE FOURTHS THEIR AS TEH ONA OR TEH OTH3R MODA OF RATIFICATION MAY B PROPOSED BY DA CONGRAS PROVIEDD TAHT NO MENDMANT WHICH MAY B MAED PRIOR 2 TEH YEAR ONE THOUSAND EIGHT HUNDRED AND EIGHT SHAL IN ANY MANAR AFECT TEH FIRST AND FOURTH CLAUS3S IN TEH NINTH S3CTION OF DA FIRST ARTICLE AND TAHT NO STAET WITHOUT ITS CONSENT SHAL B D3PRIEVD OF ITS 3QUAL SUFRAEG IN DA SENAET!11!! WTF


ARTICL3 VI
AL D3BTS CONTRACTED AND ENGAEGM3NTS ANTERED IN2 BFORE TEH ADOPTION OF THIS CONSTITUTION SHAL B AS VALID AGANEST TEH UNIETD STAETS UNDER THIS CONSTITUTION AS UNDER DA CONF3DERATION11!1!! OMG

THIS CONSTITUTION AND DA LAWS OF DA UNIETD STAETS WHICH SHAL B MAED IN PURSUANCE THEYRE AND AL TREATEIS MAED OR WHICH SHAL B MAED UNDER DA AUTHORITY OF TEH UNIETD STAETS SHAL B TEH SUPREM3 LAW OF DA LAND AND DA JUDGES IN 3V3RY STAET SHAL B BOUND THEYRE ANYTHNG IN TEH CONSTITUTION OR LAWS OF ANY STAET 2 TEH CONTRARY NOTWITHSTANDNG11!1!1!! OMG LOL TEH S3NA2RS AND REPR3S3NTATIEVS BFORA MENTIONED AND TEH MEMBRS OF DA SEVERAL STAET L3GISLATURAS AND AL 3XECUTIEV AND JUDICIAL OFIECRS BOTH OF TEH UNIETD STAETS AND OF DA S3VERAL STAETS SHAL B BOUND BY OATH OR AFIRMATION 2 SUPORT THIS CONSTITUTION BUT NO RALIGIOUS TEST SHAL EVAR B R3QUIERD AS A QUALIFICATION 2 ANY OFIEC OR PUBLIC TRUST UND3R DA UNIETD STAETS!!111!!!


ARTICL3 DA RATIFICATION OF DA CONVANTIONS OF NIEN STAETS SHAL B SUFICEINT FOR DA ESTABLISHMENT OF THIS CONSTITUTION BTWEN DA STAETS SO RATIFYNG TEH SME!!!!! OMG

DONE IN CONV3NTION BY TEH UNANIMOUS CONSENT OF DA STAETS PRAS3NT TEH S3VENTENTH DAY OF SEPTEMBR IN TEH YEAR OF OUR LORD ONE THOUSAND SEVAN HUNDRED AND AIGHTY S3V3N AND OF DA IND3PANDENCA OF TEH UNIETD STAETS OF MARICA TEH TWELFTH11!11111 WTF LOL IN WITNAS WHAR3OF WE HAEV HEREUN2 SUBSCRIEBD OUR NM3S

G11!!!1! OMG WTF LOL WASHNG2N-PR3SIDT1!1111! WTF AND DEPUTY FROM VIRGINIA NU HMPSHIER O LANGDON NICHOLAS GILMAN

MASACHUSETS NATHANEIL GORHM RUFUS KNG

CONECTICUT WM SML!!!! OMG WTF O ROGER SH3RMAN NU YORK AELXANDER HMIL2N NU J3RSAY WIL LIVNGS2N DAVID BRAARLY WM1!11 P8RSON JONA DAY2N

PANSYLVANIA B!1!!!111 OMG LOL FRANKLIN THOMAS MIFLIN ROBT11!!1!11 WTF LOL MORIS GEO!11!!!11 OMG WTF LOL CLYMAR THOS11!1!!!1 WTF FITZSIMONS JAERD NGARSOL JMAS WILSON GOUV MORIS

DELAWAER G3O R3AD GUNNG BDFORD JUN O DIKINSON RICHARD BASET JACO BROM

MARYLAND JM3S MCH3NRY DAN OF ST THOS1111!1! WTF LOL JENIEFR DANL CAROL

VIRGINIA O BLARE- JM3S MADISON JR11!1! LOL

NORTH CAROLINA WM!1!!1 LOL BLOUNT RICHD!111!11! OMG LOL DOBS SPAGEHT HU WILIMSON

SOUTH CAROLINA J!!111111 WTF LOL RUTLEDGE CHARLES COT3SWORTH PINKNEY CHARLAS PINKNAY PEIRCE BUTL3R

GEORGIA WILIM F3W ABR BALDWIN
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This translation was made with the The English-to-12-Year-Old-AOLer Translator.

An actual transcription of the Constitution can be found here.