5/21/01

This is the first entry of my online journal; of course I will not talk about everything that goes on in my life, but I will be fourth coming in my insights and daily events. Today started badly since I had to hurt someone that I really didn’t want to but I had to. I really do not want to go into any details since it is personal in nature. Later in the day I got a call from a good friend Erwin to confirm my measurements for the tuxedo, my friend is getting married and I am one of his groom’s men. I still cannot believe that he is getting married, but it will happen in two weeks. I believe that is when all this information will start to sink in. I then had a pleasant walk with one of my other friends; we decided to walk down to get some “bubble tea.” I talked to her about recent events, her friends that I recently met, and asked her about friends that I haven’t seen in ages. A certain conversation came up that stuck in m mind, it was about a person that I did not know that well, it seemed as though his girlfriend was killed in a car accident. It made me reflect and think of all that I am thankful for and how I hope he would be know that everything has a purpose even though it may not make sense right now but it is all in God’s plan. I know how those words would be of little comfort during his time of suffering but I will pray for them both.

5/22/01

Wow! I did not know how lazy I could be until today, I did utterly nothing, I didn't even go out to eat I ordered in, I ordered chinese mmmmmhhhh! chinese. I then watched some korean videos, yes! korean video's I know I am a big loser, they are just so addicting and cheesy. Well throughout the day I talked to people online which was pretty interesting. I think what a interesting thing it is to talk to people that you probably do not get a chance to talk to otherwise, since time and distance is such a factorr. I actually began to talk to someone that I have not formally met yet, which is an interesting experience since I prefer human interaction.Human interaction is very important since little actions tell you so much about the person, hopefully though we will have a chance to meet. Well, I did one thing that was somewhat productive, I considered my friendships today. I looked at people that I call friends and people that call me friend and I thought to myself, "are we really friends?" I think friendship is a very precious think that should not be taken for granted but I think I do at times and so do my so-called “friend’s.” I wish I were a better person, a person that would not hold grudges or bad feeling toward people but I realize that I am not at that point yet, so I still must achieve more.

5/23/01

I have such a headache.

5/24/01

Careful ...... be very very careful, in what you do and what you say .... things are not anywhere as innocent as they seem .... if your not careful .................................................GAME OVER!

5/31/01

Wow! It is soooooo hot! I can not believe how hot it is! We do not have the air conditioning on because of the energy crisis but I feel as though I am the wicked witch from the east. “I’M MELTING! I’M MELTING!” Don’t you think that it is better to be in bitter cold then in agonizing heat? You can always put on more clothing when it is cold but when it is hot what can you do besides sweat? Well, enough of that, my thoughts have been filled by two things, one, my sisters say that I am “tense” that I should be more laid back …. hahahaha! I always considered myself to be a laid back person, I guess I have to work on it. The second thing is that I thought something was a gift from God but it just seems to be more trouble then I thought it would be, more problematic then it should be, so I ask myself is it worth it? Is this God’s plan? Is this what I have to go through?

6/02/0I

Man I wrote this huge story but I just deleted it .... Oh Well! I guess I will just have to paraphrase; Korean Christian people are not good as friends because they are not trust worthy or loyal, besides a rare few. I am getting really annoyed with many of them, I am beginning to understand why my sisters can not stand them. This will not stop my Christian walk but it will hinder it a bit, no worries though, I have more drive then to allow a few people to push me over the edge. (hmmm ... makes me sound ghetto, oh well) To my few Christian friends, “God bless you in everything you do.” To the rest of you, if you are thinking to yourself "Am I his friend?" you aren't! So check yourselves because my patience is almost all spent. On the lighter note congratulations Erwin and Deana on you’re upcoming wedding. Erwin all I have to say is one thing, “RUN ERWIN RUN, YOUR TOO YOUNG!” hahahah! Just kidding, Deana I know you are a good Godly woman I am happy for you guys and I hope you will not kill me for that last comment.