Ode to the Amendments

Copyright 2008 by Jeff Suzuki

Summer 2008 saw a songwriting dry spell as I concentrated on other projects. In August, I put together a video of Eagle in the Straw to put on YouTube (my first foray into a new medium). This inspired me to write a song about the Constitution itself. The tune is Ode to Joy (from the finale of Beethoven's ninth symphony). I got the basic idea on August 14, did my research, and finished the song in the early morning hours of the 15th. Minor polishing occurred later.

Take the constitution as the
Basic framework of our laws 
Add on some amendments to save
Us from legislative flaws. 
Constitutional amendments
Need two-thirds to go ahead. 
Three-fourths pass and make it legal
Part of what the people said. 
       
First there's freedom for the press and
No state church to rule this land 
Speech is unrestricted by law
Gatherings cannot be banned. 
You can form an armed militia
By amendment number two. 
And if soldiers want your quarters
Your consent or rent is due. 
       
Searchers must present a warrant
By the fourth amendment's text. 
Self incrimination's stopped by
The amendment that comes next. 
Six gives you a fair and speedy
Trial with lawyers on your side. 
Seven says that twenty dollars
Means a jury can decide. 
       
Cruel unusual punishment and
Bail too high we need not fear. 
And the ninth says you won't lose your
rights `cuz they're not listed here. 
Finally the tenth amendment
Gives the states what Feds omit. 
But we've made a few additions
Since the bill of rights was writ. 
       
First the Supreme Court will not hear
Suits against a state, you see. 
Next came new elector methods
Then a ban on slavery 
Fourteen means that if you're born here
You cannot be sent away 
At least not by states but if the
Feds do it then it's Okay. 
       
Fifteen gives us voting rights (at
least if you're a male of age) 
Sixteen means the I R S can
Take a portion of your wage. 
Seventeen means Senators are
Voted in to office high. 
It would drive a man to drink but
Eighteen turned this country dry. 

Women got the vote with nineteen
Twenty made succession clear. 
When we passed the next amendment
We all went to have a beer. 
Ten years no more was the mandate
Of  the twenty second clause. 
And when D C got the vote it
Gave rise to some great applause. 
       
Unpaid taxes can't be used to
Stop you from a Fed' ral vote. 
Still unclear on who's in charge now?
That's why twenty five they wrote. 
If you're eighteen you can vote now
Thank amendment twenty six. 
Congress voting their own raises
Twenty seven couldn't fix. 
       
That's the list of all amendments
We've made to our ruling doc. 
More have failed to pass the states and
End up on the chopping block. 
Equal rights and balanced budgets
No flag burning, and school prayer. 
What comes next is up to us, let's
Keep our freedoms and beware. 

Footnotes

1. A two-thirds vote in Congress is necessary to pass a proposed amendment onto the states. See Article V of the Constitution.
2. The amendment is ratified after three-fourths of the state legislatures approve it.
3. At least in time of peace, without legislative action. There's only so much legal boilerplate you can fit into a stanza!
4. See previous note.
5. One of the more obscure ones; I'll admit I didn't know it until I wrote this song. Basically the Supreme Court does not have jurisdiction over suits against a state by a citizen of another state or foreign country.
6. More or less. But not clear enough...see amendment 25. And again, there's only so much you can fit into a stanza; this amendment also clarifies the date of the inauguration, etc.
7. Twice as President, plus two years as a succeeding Vice President. It's almost impossible to fit “president” or “vice president” into a metrical pattern...
8. The twenty-third amendment gave Washington D.C. three electoral votes.
9. The constitution doesn't actually define the succession beyond the Vice President; it simply says that Congress gets to decide. The current statute (the Presidential Succession Act of 1947) designates the following order: Vice President, Speaker of the House, President Pro Tem of the Senate, then Secretary of State, Treasury, Defense, Attorney General, and so on.
10. The amendment mandates that any pay raise Congress votes for itself won't take place until after the next election. However, Congress has used various dodges to get around this provision, like cost of living increases, because apparently they can't figure out how to live on a mere $170,000 a year.
11. Just to be clear: I do not consider the ERA and the balanced budget amendments to be affronts to our basic freedoms. As for amending the constitution to prohibit flag burning or define marriage...if our Congressmen have nothing better to do than to propose amendments like those, maybe they don't deserve their aforementioned $170K a year.

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