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THE POOREST GUY IN THE HUMAN RACE CAN HAVE A MILLION DOLLAR FACE BURMA-SHAVE |
OUR FORTUNE IS YOUR SHAVEN FACE IT'S OUR BEST ADVERTISING SPACE BURMA-SHAVE |
THIRTY DAYS HATH SEPTEMBER APRIL, JUNE AND THE SPEED OFFENDER BURMA-SHAVE |
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MANY A FOREST USED TO STAND WHERE A LIGHTED MATCH GOT OUT OF HAND BURMA-SHAVE |
PAST SCHOOLHOUSES TAKE IT SLOW LET THE LITTLE SHAVERS GROW BURMA-SHAVE |
THE BIG BLUE TUBE'S JUST LIKE LOUISE YOU GET A THRILL FROM EVERY SQUEEZE BURMA-SHAVE |
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THE WEATHER WAS CLEAR THE CARS WAS WHIZZIN' THE FAULT WAS HERS THE FUNERAL HIS'N BURMA-SHAVE |
BROTHER SPEEDERS LET'S REHEARSE ALL TOGETHER "GOOD MORNING, NURSE!" BURMA-SHAVE |
CATTLE CROSSING MEANS GO SLOW THAT OLD BULL IS SOME COW'S BEAU BURMA-SHAVE |
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THE CHICK HE WED LET OUT A WHOOP FELT HIS CHIN AND FLEW THE COOP BURMA-SHAVE |
PEDRO WALKED BACK HOME BY GOLLY HIS BRISTLY CHIN WAS HOT-TO-MOLLY BURMA-SHAVE |
CANDIDATE SAYS CAMPAIGN CONFUSING BABIES KISS ME SINCE I'VE BEEN USING BURMA-SHAVE |
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DON'T LOSE YOUR HEAD TO GAIN A MINUTE YOU NEED YOUR HEAD YOUR BRAINS ARE IN IT BURMA-SHAVE |
TRAINS DON'T WANDER ALL OVER THE MAP FOR NO ONE SITS ON THE ENGINEER'S LAP BURMA-SHAVE |
YOU KNOW YOUR ONIONS LETTUCE SUPPOSE THIS BEET 'EM ALL DON'T TURNIP YOUR NOSE BURMA-SHAVE |
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A NUT AT THE WHEEL A PEACH AT HIS RIGHT CURVE AHEAD SALAD TONIGHT BURMA-SHAVE |
SHE KISSED THE HAIRBRUSH BY MISTAKE SHE THOUGHT IT WAS HER HUSBAND JAKE BURMA-SHAVE |
AROUND THE CURVE LICKETY-SPLIT IT'S A BEAUTIFUL CAR WASN'T IT? BURMA-SHAVE |
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WE'VE MADE GRANDPA LOOK SO TRIM THE LOCAL DRAFT BOARD'S AFTER HIM BURMA-SHAVE |
IF DAISIES ARE YOUR FAVORITE FLOWER KEEP PUSHIN' UP THOSE MILES-PER-HOUR BURMA-SHAVE |
SUBSTITUTES CAN LET YOU DOWN QUICKER THAN A STRAPLESS GOWN BURMA-SHAVE |
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SHE EYED HIS BEARD AND SAID, "NO DICE THE WEDDING'S OFF- I'LL COOK THE RICE" BURMA-SHAVE |
HENRY THE EIGHTH SURE HAD TROUBLE SHORT TERM WIVES LONG TERM STUBBLE BURMA-SHAVE |
TRAIN APPROACHING WHISTLE SQUEALING PAUSE! AVOID THAT RUNDOWN FEELING! BURMA-SHAVE |
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UNLESS YOUR FACE IS STINGER FREE YOU'D BETTER LET YOUR HONEY BE BURMA-SHAVE |
BE A MODERN PAUL REVERE SPREAD THE NEWS FROM EAR TO EAR BURMA-SHAVE |
HE MARRIED GRACE WITH SCRATCHY FACE HE ONLY GOT ONE DAY OF GRACE! BURMA-SHAVE |
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WILD MEN PULLED THEIR WHISKERS OUT THAT'S WHAT MADE THEM WILD NO DOUBT BURMA-SHAVE |
THE MIDNIGHT RIDE OF PAUL FOR BEER LED TO A WARMER HEMISPHERE BURMA-SHAVE |
THIS CREAM MAKES THE GARDENER'S DAUGHTER PLANT HER TU-LIPS WHERE SHE OUGHTER BURMA-SHAVE |
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BACHELORS QUARTERS DOG ON THE RUG WHISKERS TO BLAME NO ONE TO HUG BURMA-SHAVE |
OF ALL THE DRUNKS WHO DRIVE ON SUNDAY SOME ARE STILL ALIVE ON MONDAY BURMA-SHAVE |
GRANDPA'S BEARD WAS STIFF AND COURSE AND THAT'S WHAT CAUSED HIS FIFTH DIVORCE BURMA-SHAVE |
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HE SAW THE TRAIN HE TRIED TO DUCK IT KICKED FIRST THE GAS AND THEN THE BUCKET BURMA-SHAVE |
IF HARMONY IS WHAT YOU CRAVE THEN GET A TUBA BURMA-SHAVE |
"AT EASE," SHE SAID "MANEUVERS BEGIN WHEN YOU GET THOSE WHISKERS OFF YOUR CHIN" BURMA-SHAVE |
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WHEN THE STORK DELIVERS A BOY OUR WHOLE DARN FACTORY JUMPS FOR JOY BURMA-SHAVE |
USE THIS CREAM A DAY OR TWO THEN DON'T CALL HER SHE'LL CALL YOU BURMA-SHAVE |
BEN MET ANNA MADE A HIT NEGLECTED BEARD BEN-ANNA SPLIT BURMA-SHAVE |
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A MAN - A MISS A CAR - A CURVE HE KISSED THE MISS AND MISSED THE CURVE BURMA-SHAVE |
JUST THIS ONCE AND JUST FOR FUN WE'LL LET YOU FINISH WHAT WE'VE BEGUN ? ? ? |
THIS IS NOT A CLEVER VERSE I TRIED AND TRIED BUT JUST GOT WORSE BURMA-SHAVE |
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GRANDPA'S OUT WITH JUNIOR'S DATE OLD TECHNIQUE WITH BRAND NEW BAIT BURMA-SHAVE |
THIS WILL NEVER COME TO PASS A BACK-SEAT DRIVER OUT OF GAS BURMA-SHAVE |
SHE PUT A BULLET THRU HIS HAT BUT HE'S HAD CLOSER SHAVES THAN THAT BURMA-SHAVE |
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"NO, NO," SHE SAID TO HER BRISTLY BEAU "I'D RATHER EAT THE MISTLETOE" BURMA-SHAVE |
IF YOUR PEACH KEEPS OUT OF REACH BETTER PRACTICE WHAT WE PREACH BURMA-SHAVE |
HE HAD THE RING HE HAD A FLAT SHE FELT HIS CHIN AND THAT WAS THAT BURMA-SHAVE |
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THE MONKEY TOOK ONE LOOK AT JIM AND THREW THE PEANUTS BACK AT HIM BURMA-SHAVE |
MY JOB IS KEEPING FACES CLEAN AND NOBODY KNOWS DE STUBBLE I'VE SEEN BURMA-SHAVE |
DINAH DOESN'T TREAT HIM RIGHT BUT IF HE'D SHAVE DYNA-MITE! BURMA-SHAVE |