“Face it, you’re a sucker for damsels-in-distress.”

It was a particularly cold Saturday night—at least it was for me.

“Nah, it just so happens that they’re in trouble.” I said, looking back at her piercing black eyes. “it’s not as if I choose the ones that are in need of help.”

She raised an eyebrow and laughed silently with the wind as it blew past us. She took my arm and we walked slower.

“I know your type. You’re a hero. It’s probably because of that Ateneo education you have.” She said accusingly. “Ah yes, Ateneans. God’s gift to the world, aren’t they?”

I laughed at her remark and tightened my hold on her arm. Somehow, holding on to her made me feel secure, not of my surroundings, but of myself. It was as if she was all the security I need—a feeling that was all too familiar to me.

“Well, think of it this way, who aren’t in trouble? I mean, all of us are in some kind of rut one way or another.”

“Yeah, go on and rationalize yourself. Whatever keeps you asleep at night.” She smiled.

“What’s wrong with being a hero?” I said thoughtfully. “Heroes are noble creatures, with blue blood and are men for others.”

“Typical.” She punched me playfully and sighed. “It’s just that I worry about you. Heroes, they die untimely deaths. In your case, you’ll probably end up hurt after everything, and for what?”

“For the pure satisfaction that I have helped someone out of their slumps.”

“And that’s enough for you?” She looked at me with unblinking eyes. “You are still human, you know? I’m sure you need more than that.”

It was a moonless, starless night. Dark as darkness allowed.

“No, of course it’s not enough.” I smiled at her weakly and held on to her more. “But, it cannot be helped. I have accepted that and that’s all there is to it.”

She stopped walking and she bowed down her head.

“How about you?” she asked silently.

“What about me?”

“Who will rescue you?”

I looked at her for a few seconds and laughed. I released my hold and I sat on the damp grass. She sat down beside me and rested her head on my shoulder.

“Seriously. Who gets you out of your slump?”

“Well, my friends do. I try to contribute to it sometimes.” I said, looking up to the blank sky. “You know, they’re there for me and I am there for them.”

She was silent for a moment and then she took my cold hand in hers. She had warm hands. She had soft hands.

“You do like playing hero, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I guess so.” I said.

We sat there for a while, hand in hand, silently enjoying each other’s presence.

“I’d love to help you out, you know? I’d love to be the one to get you out of your slump, to rescue you. I want to be your hero.” She said without looking. She took my hand and held it against her cheek. I felt tears flowing down my hand. “If only I could.”

“It’s okay. It’s going to be fine.” I put my arm around her and held her close. “You don’t have to do anything for me.”

Again we sat in silence.

Then I started thinking why this was. Why it had to be like this. Why I had to jump out of the plane every time just so I can give someone their parachutes. Why I had to sacrifice my well being for others to live their lives through. Why I had to be the one left behind.

The silence was ended by her sobbing. I held her hand tighter and I held her closer to me.

She looked up to me and with great effort, she broke through the sobs and whispered “I love you.”

That was my answer.

I jumped because I know that it will be all worth it. I sacrificed because it has gone beyond me. I lose, but not really.

“Two months.” she said.

I closed my eyes and inhaled the smell of her perfume.

“It will be the best two months of your life.” I promised.

“I want it to be the best two months for you too.”

“Don’t worry about me. This is all about you.” I can feel her tremble beneath my cold arms.

I stood up, patted my jeans dry and offered my hand to her. I lifted her up and she hugged me, tightly.

“I don’t like this. I don’t want you to feel pain. I don’t want to be the damsel. I want to help you. I want to be the one to make you happy. I want to be the one to end your heroics.” She cried furiously as she pounded on my chest.

“Hey, hey, look at me.” Somehow, her crying made me feel queasy and uneasy inside. “You’re not the damsel. You don’t need rescuing. I want to do this for you because you deserve the best.”

We stood there for a moment, frozen in each others grasps. I felt that she did not want to move. I felt that she wanted to stop time.

“You will be left behind again.” She said, finally.

I smiled at her and quietly whispered, “You will never leave my side.”

She broke down in tears and silently faded into the night.

Moonless and starless.

Dark as darkness allowed.