Once again, Jed's comments appear in purple, and Phil's in green.

Day 1

Our day started when we met three new friends.  This is one of them.  Her name is Satan. 
She thinks she's pretty tough, but I could take her.  This was at around 3 pm... pretty much right after I got up.

This is another one of our new friends.  After Phil got a speeding ticket, Alana cheered him up by putting it in her top.  As of this moment, I cannot remember why she did this.
The police hate me like no one else in this city.. during this two day period they 'talked' to me three times.  Fucking retard pigs.  COME GET SOME!

I don't know why I took these four girl's picture.  I guess the looked photogenic.  Shows what I know.
Jed will photograph anything with breasts.. this is proof.  This is right after we walked in the door... around 10pm.. what happened to those 7 hours?  Why don't you tell me, smart guy?

These are two friends of Chi or something we met, and they are named .. I think one of their names starts with a J.  But don't quote me on that.
Yup, the girl in blue is Jill, Colin's girlfriend.  Colin and Chi sell muffins together at raves alot.. I like them both. The girl in red had a tremendously strong grip... makes ya think, hey?

Chi with his girly.  How quaint.
This is as close to a girl as Chi ever gets... and that's after he's hit E a few times.  This was at like, midnight or so.

Chi got this look on his face every time he managed to break away from his girlfriend for even a minute.
This simply shows how much Chi fears girls.  Don't worry Chi, you'll grow up someday. 

This is Amanda and myself, who works at a bikini bar as a dancer.  (she does, not me)  Phil thinks she's slutty, but I think she's sweet.  Who knows!
Anyone who knows me knows I wouldn't say something so cruel.  (Secret message for people who know me well: Yeah right)

Here is Kim, who looks a bit like Blondie.  It's not a very good picture of her.  She said hi to me as I exited the washroom, so I gave her my phone number.  Then she called, and left a message, and I didn't call her back.  I think I'll do that right now.
Jed ignored her message for two days, but he ignored mine for three.  I'm glad I stand just behind girls he meets in bathrooms for importance.

This is the third friend we met before we went to Douie's.  Her name is Linda.  She makes weird noises sometimes.  Chris can be seen here marking his teritory with his family crest.  Shame on you, Chris.
Linda is the most unphotogenic person I've ever met.  This is the least freaky pic we got of her... the others would make you scream.  We really took up painting everybody by around 1am.

What happens when you're in a bar with a lot of black lights, and you have neon paint?  Cute girls flock to you and ask you to decorate their body.  This isn't a very good picture, she's far more attractive in real life.  I wasn't drinking, I swear.
Jeez do they ever.  Neon paint is a gold mine.  We had a line up by 1:30.. it was pretty cool.

As the night draws to a close at 6:30am, Chris has Linda's tonsils for breakfast.  What a pretty picture.
Chris is like a mini Jed.  He still plays girls, just not on so large a scale. 

Day 2

Ah, another day at Douie's.  This beer tub girl told me her name once, but I forgot it, because I always do that.  Guess what she sold me? ...
This girl has enormous tits.  That shirt does her no justice.. and neither does a frontal pic.  Next time we'll get her from the side, and "accidently" spill something on her.

... A Mike's Hard Lemonade!  I should have a contest to see who can describe the look on my face the best with a single word.
One word?  How about 'thumb'.  As in, Ohmygod there's a thumb in my Mike's Hard Lemonade.  Day 2 and day 1 are kinda blurred together in my head, so I'm not sure when this was.  I'm trusting Jed to seperate the days at all.

Douie's used to have some fights and drug problems, but it doesn't really anymore.  Still, the Calgary police will use it as an excuse to look at attractive girls, such as Tammy <not looking much like herself in this picture>.  See how the cops pretend to look angry?  They even kept pretending after I was done taking their picture.
Come on fuckers!  I'll kill you both!

From the left is Nicole's friend, Nicole, and Tyler.  I'm glad I took this picture, because Tyler looks really stupid in it, and although I like Tyler, it is fun when Tyler looks dumb.
Tyler thinks that looking like Vanilla Ice is a good thing.  He doesn't just look dumb ya know.. and ladies.. this man is available!

Here is Paul, and his very beautiful friend that told me she's not "involved" with him.  What the HELL is he doing with his finger!?.  I don't know Paul very well, but he's a cool guy.
This is some guy Jed says is pretty cool for reasons unknown.  I remember meeting him, he has a gentle handshake.  Not like that red shirt girl.  Tear your arm off that one will.

This girl was giving me sassy sexy looks all night whenever I walked by her, so of course I assumed I knew her.  It wasn't until I danced with her and talked to her for a minute that I realized I didn't.  Here's a picture of her hair and body.  She kept moving.
Jed had had a few by this point.  Can you tell?

Here I am painting Nicole's arm.  I will let Phil tell you how he feels about this picture, and how it changed his perceptions of Nicole.  It's the funniest thing in the whole world.
I never really thought much of Nicole until I took a look at this picture.  She's going to kill me and eat me!  Look at her eyes!  I fear this girl more than anyone else on Earth now, I don't know why this picture made her so upset, but I'm sorry!  I SWEAR!!

Here is raving Ben picking up plastic bar-staff!  Yum!  Confused?  It's simple.  So simple I can't explain it.
Here's the deal.  Ben dresses like a freak.  Girls come up and say "Why are you dressed like a freak?" and he says "So beautiful girls like you will come talk to me."  This works so well it blows my mind. 
The blonde waitress loves us because we always paint her.  No arguement here! 

So there we are at Denny's, and I say to Lous (Mark) "Hey Lous, look stupid!"  What does he do?  He looks stupid!  Sweet!
At Denny's we ran into Mark... but wait!  We weren't AT Denny's, we were at Douie's!  This was a different night!  Lay off the acid, Jed!

This girl turned away, so it's a bad pic.  We kind of met her at Denny's the night before, where she severely shunned Ben.  Then suddenly she's all nice the next night when we see her at Douie's.  Turns out she's a "private dancer" (whore) from Edmonton!  Edmontonians are funny.
The Edmontonian whores made me laugh.  We chased them out of two places and then they gave up and liked us.  After getting to know them we realized we don't like whores and the effort was for nothing except to learn that yes, Jed can play a whore.  He actually charged her 50$.  Well.. that's a lie.  It was 25.