Our night started off normal enough with donuts and coffee at Tim Hortons.  Pictured is Ben, who's crazy.  Beside him is Phil.  And I'm taking the picture.  I should stop taking all the pictures myself so that I can be in some of them.
Here we are at Tim Horton's... I had a Boston Cream filled donut.  MMm-hmm.  Tim Horton's Donuts - The best donuts in the whole world.  (you know, most people would CHARGE them to advertise here... HINT HINT)

Believe it or not, this bag was about to be disposed of, until we asked the Tim Hortons man (who was a crazy psycho) if we could have them, and he said sure.
How they can throw out dozens of perfectly good pig nads blows my mind.  I wanted to hit a bunch more donut shops and see if we could fill a wading pool with them and swim in sweet, sweet deep fried dough.. but no one else was up for that.

Donuts or pig nads?  Maybe a mix of both?
The best thing about Tim Horton's Pig Nads is that they're glistening with sweat. 

Ben is good at sharing.  This lady and her date (not pictured) each recieved a donut, and neither of them even bothered to touch them.  In fact, they carefully avoided any contact whatsoever.
For some reason the guy here was actually insulted by our kind gesture.  You'd think when someone gives you stale donuts out of a trash bag that you'd be a little more thankful.

Ben realizes that perhaps people will eat our donuts if he unzips the bottoms off his pants and wears them as wrist warmers!  This brilliant tactic surprisingly did not work.
I'm not sure but I think Ben might be a Transformer, and those are like... cannons or something.

What kinder way to greet someone than to offer them a donut upon entry?  These rude gentlemen did not accept their donuts.
These two guys were quite scared of the whole lot of us... it was strange.  Normally people aren't scared of us because we're a really friendly bunch.... I guess having a bag of donuts is pretty intimidating.

"RISE UP, PATRONS OF THIS ESTABLISHMENT, AND EAT THY DONUTS!"  Ben's preaching fell upon deaf ears.
I liked it, I'm part of the Church of Ben now.  Praise Him, Our Lord thy Ben.

Um... yeah.
PRAISE HIM!

Ben - "Hello girl I just met!"  Kristen - "Hello!  Shall I do your makeup?"  Ben - "Of course!  Now people will eat the donuts!"
We're a smart bunch of guys.  We knew that people intimidated by a raver giving away donuts would love the idea of accepting them from the same guy in drag.

By this stage, Ben has shed all traits of humanity.
Hey ladies!  This man was single on this particular night.. and you missed your chance.

PRAISE HIM!

Ben defies gravity with this stunt.  Fantastic!
I knew this would be a good picture.  Jed was like "That picture is gonna be total SHIT!" and I said "No way, dude.. it's five by five." and then he was like "Yeah, five by five!" and I was like "Wazzzzup!?" and ... what was my point?

It's hard to smile for the camera when some girl's has a tight grip on your manhood.
This is the only time in recorded history that Ben has smiled for a photo... and now you know why.

It's not every day that a strangely dressed gravity defying blue haired man wearing makeup offers you a donut.  These grads were quite thrilled.
They really were!  They thought we were the coolest thing since donuts on a stick!  Which we invented shortly after meeting them and they thought was as cool (at least) as midget porn.

This guy's name is Tyson.  I don't know him or anything, but from certain angles he looked a lot like what Tom Cruise would if he gained weight.  This picture doesn't show what I mean at all.  Never mind.
Yeeeeeeeeah.

A quick check reveals that Seiji's face is still there.  Which is a good thing.
Alright ladies, this half-japanese player is AVAILABLE!  Only 59.95$ from PhilCorp Dating Services and you'll end up hurting on the inside like you thought wasn't possible.

The night came to a close with a man trying to suck up to a british drug addict by licking her feet.  She later got up, tripped, dropped her purse, and spilled about 20 different substances in pill form <both legal and illegal> all over the floor.  Ben started asking questions, and soon we found out way more about her than we can ever forget, no matter how hard we try.
This was one of the strangest women I've ever met.. she threw all of us for a loop, and that's mighty hard to do, because we're almost always the strangest thing going.  Even Ben could only stare in awe as she ranted and raved about her various "happy pills" and "horny pills".