Untitled 2-20-06

 

I slit my wrists

To feel the pain

Because pain

Means I’m alive

And if I’m alive

I can’t be dead

Because if I’m dead

Then I’ve lost my fight

And if I loose my fight

My effort was all in vain

And if my effort was in vain

Then why did I ever try

But if I don’t try

I’ll never win the fight

The fight I wage

Against my mind

Because my mind

Is a formidable foe

It tricks me

            And abuses me

And sometimes

I can’t withstand it

But I know I’m strong

Though I don’t always

Appear to be strong

Or in control

I can outsmart myself

And triumph over myself

Because in this battle

I am my own enemy

And I hate it

With a passion

But I keep going

Even when I’m weak

But weakness

Is a wake-up call

Telling me to get up

And keep fighting

So I make my friends

            And my enemies

In hopes of finding

Someone to help me

My friends number high

But so do my enemies

And each one helps me

Understand a little more

About life

            About love

About things

That I never even knew

And I smile

Proud of my life

Certain my future

Is no longer bleak

I foresee love

            And happiness

My sadness controlled

And I always smile

Like now

I’m happy

My past is still my past

And the present

Is joyous

            And wonderful

Filled with love

From friends and family

And I’ll never again

Be so sad

 

-- By JaMeZ!

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