Chapter 18: Dawn

Ginny had been awake for a while now, or at least, come out of the fog of sleep some time ago. For an hour or two--it might have been more, but the minutes seemed to blend together so seamlessly these days--she had drifted in and out of shapeless dreams. There had been images, she remembered, but they made no sense, nor carried with them any narrative or discernable flow. They seemed more like shadows in her mind, echoes and fragments of memories that had been altered, or perhaps dreams that had never come into fruition.

She couldn�t really tell the difference anymore.

She just knew that if she had opened her eyes at any point before now, tears would have flooded forth from them, ones she neither wanted nor could deal with at that moment.

There were sounds as well, along with the images. Familiar ones she heard through the night and early morning. Voices. They sounded like Harry�s. She dreamt that he had slept beside her last night, that he had pressed his body close to hers, sheltering her with his warmth. But that would have been impossible, she thought. The dreamless potion she had taken was quite potent--as potent as she could brew--and besides, Harry had left. He had left, and there was no telling when he would be coming back.

The sheets felt cool against her bare skin; she�d left the window open last night to let in the night breeze, and as she came further into consciousness, she became aware that the entire room had dipped in temperature. Tentatively, she reached out her hand without even opening her eyes, hoping she hadn�t been wrong, that she hadn�t imagined it after all and really had felt Harry beside her. But she felt nothing but a cool pillow beside her. She closed her hand around the rumpled blankets at her hips, capturing a fistful of material and pulling it towards her face, and she fought with all of her strength not to break down and cry.

She was so sick and tired of crying. She just couldn�t spare any more tears over this.

With an exhale, she pushed the sheets away from herself and slowly slid up to sitting. Dawn had broken outside; she could see the slim turrets of the castle now bathed in the apricot glow of the emerging sun, and yet her heart felt as heavy as it had last night when she�d knelt before Dumbledore�s grave and poured out her soul to him. Sirius had sent her word earlier in the day that he�d spoken to Harry at Godric�s Hollow--she had a feeling that was where he�d gone--but she had heard nothing from Harry himself afterwards. She had waited for him until nightfall, and then, when the harsh realization came over her that he would not be coming home, she left a sleeping Luke under Emily�s watch and sought out the presence of her old headmaster.

It might have been silly in retrospect, seeking out a cold, inanimate headstone in her time of need, but she�d needed to feel his spirit. She had often wondered over the years why someone like Professor Binns (or even meddlesome old Peeves) could linger on as ghosts, when those they needed most--her mother, Ron, Professor Dumbledore--were lost forever. Or at least in the ways that mattered.

She�d sat at his grave for a long time last night, oblivious to the dwindling light of the moon, and the hooting from the nearby owlrey. And just as she had before--many times before--she talked to him. He�d been a steady presence in her life, ever since her hellish experience in the Chamber, and he had never abandoned her over the years. She knew last night that wherever he was, he could hear her still and help her make sense of all this somehow.

�I�m being selfish, aren�t I?� she had said to him last night.

As if in response, an owl hooted in the background. Ginny shifted, coming to rest on her shins as she absently combed her fingers through the blades of wet grass that surrounded Dumbledore�s grave.

�He�s going through the most terrible ordeal of his life and all I can think about is the fact that my husband can�t come to me about this... He can�t turn to me...�

Her eyes began to sting, and she let the tears roll down unimpeded, taking comfort in knowing that no one could see her this way--not her children, and certainly not Harry. If she couldn�t be the rock they all needed her to be, if she had to show her weakness, at least she�d show it in front of no one.

�I don�t know what to do anymore, Professor... I�ve given him time, I�ve given him space, but I need him too... By God, if that�s selfish, then so be it--but I need him too! My children are being robbed from me, my husband is being robbed from me... There are years that will be decimated from my memory and I have no means of stopping it...�

No answer had come last night, but in truth, she hadn�t really expected one. All that had met her was silence, and the taunting of the owls. She�d surrendered to the dreamless potion sometime afterwards, exhausted, drained, and in desperate need of reassurance.

She still needed it this morning.

The curtains flapped against the breeze. She rose from bed to close the windows, and turned when she heard the floorboards creak. Luke was up early today.

�Oh good, you�re awake, sweetheart-�

She stopped abruptly, letting go of the window latch. It wasn�t Luke.

�Actually I woke about an hour ago. I was busy putting together this little surprise for you...�

She blinked back in shock. Was she imagining him?

�Harry...�

He gave her a lazy grin and walked through the door, still clad in his pajama bottoms, carrying a tray of food with a small vase that had a freshly cut rose in it.

�I... thought you were Luke,� she stammered.

�Still sleeping,� Harry said, nodding towards their son�s room. �I just checked on him a few minutes ago.� He came closer, setting the tray on the bed and walking to where she stood by the window and pulling the windows closed, making sure the latch was locked all the way. �Lot cooler this morning, isn�t it?�

She stared at him, knowing her face must have been a myriad of bewilderment and anger and most of all, relief. He watched her for a long time in silence, trying to read her reaction probably, then reached up a hand to caress her cheek--gently, at first, as if asking for permission. When she did nothing to shrug him away, he pulled her to him and placed his lips to her forehead.

�I�m sorry,� he said simply. The words hummed on her skin.

Instinctively, she brought her hands up to his back and pressed up against him, drawing a shaky breath that he must have felt, because he wrapped his arms tighter around her to hold her steady.

There were a million words she wanted to say to him at that moment, and yet none would come out in any sort of order that made any sense. Instead, they tumbled forth from her tongue, tangled and uncertain.

�Does this mean... are you... back?�

He pulled away to look at her again, and she saw in amazement that his eyes were clear for the first time in a long while. Open, giving. Full of sincerity and promise. She knew the answer before he ever spoke the words.

�I�ve been a stupid bastard,� he said, the gentle caress of his voice making her ache.

She laughed softly, and then, so did he. And God, did it sound good.

�Well,� she said, �reckon I can�t really argue with that, can I?�

He twisted his face in mock outrage. �You could try!�

She laughed harder, then pulled him into her for a kiss. He poured his apology into it; she could taste it. She knew how sorry he was for all the hurt and tension between them, but she wanted him to know it wasn�t all on his shoulders alone. She had shared in the blame too. When they parted at last, she rested her forehead against his, and kept her eyes closed.

�We�re going to face this together, aren�t we?� she murmured. �Promise me that, Harry.�

�I promise.�

She felt him pull away, and she opened her eyes once again to see what he was doing. He was leading her back to the bed.

�I must say, I�m a little offended you haven�t said anything about this so far,� he said.

She creased her brow. �About what, exactly?�

He clutched at his heart dramatically. �Oh!! And she twists the knife a few more times!! I can�t believe my wife�s forgot already...� He took her by the hand once more and sat her down at the edge of the bed. �I happen to know for a fact that this part of our history hasn�t changed, so you have no excuse not to remember, you know.�

She laughed and swatted him on the arm. �What are you on about, Potter?�

He took the rose from the vase and held it for a moment with his teeth, making her laugh harder, then he leaned into her and, dropping the rose into her lap, devoured her with a kiss that took her by surprise.

�That, I hope,� he murmured, �should have jogged your memory quite a bit.�

�Oh...�

He nodded knowingly, smiling as the realization must have dawned on her face. �I was beginning to think you really had forgot all of this...�

She took the rose from her lap, twirling it about between her fingers. �No,� she said, �never. I could never forget the moment you proposed to me.�

His face turned serious, and he took her hands in his.

�Do you remember what I promised you then? Right here, on this bed, all those years ago?�

She nodded.

�I promised you you�d never be alone in life because I�d always be there for you. Because I�d never abandon you.� He took his eyes off her, breaking the gaze. �I fouled up that promise, didn�t I, Gin? And I�m so sorry...�

�Harry, you don�t have to-�

�Yes, I do,� he said, looking up again and countering her unfinished thought. �Yes, I do, Gin, I do have to apologize. I have lots to make up for. I�ve been so locked in my own little world that I couldn�t see what it was doing to you. I�ll never be able to take that all back, but you have to believe that I�ll try my damndest to at least try...�

She smiled, cupping his cheek with her hand. �I do believe you, Harry. We�ll get through this together, you and I. Whatever happens, we�ll get through it together.�

He answered only with a nod, then leaned over to place the gentlest of kisses on her mouth. It was tentative and shy, more exploratory than demanding. He was, she realized, waiting for her cue, waiting for her to lead this. And in response, she let her own kiss communicate her tacit consent, and he took it, his hand brushing the side of her face before sliding behind her neck and cradling her head as he deepened the kiss. It seemed that he wanted, as much as she did, for this moment to leave an imprint. Perhaps if they could share a moment so intense and vivid, it could not possibly be burned away from their memories, no matter how dramatic the changes in history.

She felt him smile against her mouth as he tilted them back down onto the tangle of blankets, and she let his far heavier mass pin her slightly against the pillows--not that she minded one bit. Being with him, like this, she felt safe. She felt loved. She felt that all was right in the world again.

�As I recall,� he said, his breath grazing the line of her jaw, �we never did get to breakfast the last time, either...�

He captured her laugh and slid kisses down her throat, sighing into her collarbone, when an urgent knock downstairs suddenly came out of nowhere, startling the both of them.

Absently, she murmured, �Harry... the door...�

Before Harry could say anything in response--he seemed prepared to ignore whoever it was--the knock came again. It was more like pounding now. He buried his face in the crook of her neck, and she felt him laugh in defeat.

�I s�pose this is my punishment for being such an arse lately,� he groaned.

She giggled and nudged at him with her shoulder. �Go on... it sounds as if this person�s not going away anytime soon...�

He gave her a quick kiss , then slid off the bed and fumbled for his robe. �Stay here,� he said. �I won�t be long.�

�Okay...�

She watched him sprint out of the room, smiling at the sound of his footsteps pounding down the stairs. Her heart couldn�t help but give a slight tremor, though; it was far too early for anyone to be stopping by. When she couldn�t hear anything from downstairs, she shrugged on her robe and decided to see who it was who�d come.

�Jack?�

�Hi, Aunt Ginny... I�m really sorry for waking you-�

�It�s all right,� she said, then she looked at Harry, who seemed worried. �What�s wrong?�

The young man shifted in his stance; whatever it was, he did not seem to be too eager to tell them.

�Is everything all right at the house?� Harry offered. �The girls are fine, aren�t they? And your mum-�

The look on Jack�s face at that moment seemed to reveal everything Harry needed to know.

�What is it?� he said. �What�s happened to Hermione?�

�Mum�s gone, Uncle Harry...�

Ginny�s mind raced. No. Not her too. They�d already lost Ron--had they lost Hermione too?

�What do you mean?�

�I-�

�Jack, what�s going on?�

Jack handed Harry a piece of parchment. It seemed to have been wrinkled and creased in a dozen different angles. Harry took one look at it, and paled.

�Damn it!� he said, setting the piece of paper down. �When did she leave?�

�Yesterday, apparently-�

�Wait a minute, what is it?� Ginny said. �Is Hermione all right?�

�I... don�t know,� Jack said.

�What do you mean you don�t know?�

�Mum�s gone back to the past, Aunt Ginny. God knows what could have happened to her by now...�

Instinctively, Ginny turned beside her to Harry. He was staring at the piece of paper once more, then looked up to meet her gaze.

�God,� he said, �not again...�

�This way,� Harry called out, as he and Jack maneuvered their way along the dimly-lit hallways of the Shrieking Shack.

He stopped midway up the staircase, after realizing Jack was no longer right behind him. He turned to see him perched on the bottom step, swiping away at something he could only guess to be phantom cobwebs. It seemed his nephew had inherited his father�s extreme aversion for spiders. Harry couldn�t help but grin, in spite of himself.

�Sorry,� Jack mumbled, leaping up several steps to catch up to Harry. Even in the meager light, it was obvious his face was quite red from embarrassment.

�It�s okay,� Harry said. �Reckon your dad would have done the same thing.�

Jack gave a lopsided grin and followed him up a few more steps. Harry led him to the bedroom, with its exposed windows and the shutters hanging off the hinges. He gestured for Jack to bend down low when passing by them, and it was only when they�d reached the corner by the bed that Harry thought it would be safe to straighten once more.

�She said to the left of the bed, right?�

�Yeah,� Jack said. He knelt down before the dingy panel opposite the bed and started to tap at the wall. �Figures Mum would seal the wall back up a little too seamlessly.�

Harry laughed softly and squeezed Jack�s shoulder. He knew how much the boy was still hurting over Ron�s death; to know that his mother was now missing couldn�t have exactly put him at ease.

�I hope she�s all right,� Harry said.

�Me too.�

From the corner of his eye, he saw Jack look at him.

�Uncle Harry, d�you think... I mean, Voldemort would have...�

�Don�t,� Harry said sharply. �Let�s not jump to conclusions until we�ve got more to work with, understand?�

Jack nodded, then slowly turned to face the wall once more and bang on it again.

�There!� Harry said, pointing to a spot Jack had just struck. �There, you hear it? It�s hollow right here...� He drew his wand from his robes and aimed it at the small area. �Aperiro!�

The patch of wall dissolved before them, leaving the beams and studs behind it exposed.

�There�s Mum�s letter!�

Jack thrust an arm inside the hole to retrieve the yellowed envelope. Harry could see Hermione�s neat, metered handwriting across the envelope.

�She�s safe,� Jack said. �She must be safe, or else she wouldn�t have been able to leave this...�

Harry smiled and nodded. �Let�s open it.�

Jack tore open the envelope as if it were a Christmas present, and Harry, wanting to give him privacy, merely watched his face as he read its contents.

�Oh God, I don�t believe it...� He looked up, shoving the letter into Harry�s hand. �Uncle Harry, I don�t believe it--she was right! She was right, Dad�s alive! He�s okay, he�s at Hogwarts!!�

�What??�

Harry picked up the letter and felt his heart burst at the words, Your father�s okay... He�s with me right now... He should have known. He should have known Ron would find a way to beat the odds.

Ron Weasley, you clever bastard... you�re okay... you�re really okay...

Eager to devour every word on the page, he looked down at the letter again, then nearly choked when he came to the last line.

�Jack,� he said, �you need to read this...�

�What is it, Uncle Harry?�

Harry didn�t answer, instead handing the letter back to him. Puzzled, Jack took it, then began to read the words aloud, and Harry watched his face change as the realization set in.

�Whoever�s broken into Gringotts knows that your father�s alive,� he read. �and that he�s come here to protect Harry... You must find out who stole this time-turner, before he has a chance to sabotage anything...�

Jack looked up, his eyes awash with shock.

�He�s gone to Voldemort, I know it,� he said grimly. �Dad�s in danger...�

Harry swallowed hard. �Your dad went back in time to protect me,� he said. �I think it�s time for me to return the favor.�