Chapter 13: The End Of The World

The metal of the door handle was cool to the touch. To Hermione�s hand, however, it felt cold and dull when she closed her fingers around it, like an unwanted reminder of how devoid of life everything around her had suddenly become in the last forty-eight hours. It took her an extra moment of standing there, pausing at the door, before she finally turned the handle and opened the door a crack. She felt the weight of Jack�s stare on her back and forced herself to step inside the room.

Ron�s scent still lingered inside his office, overpowering her as soon as she took in a lung-full of it. She had tried to steel herself for this, tried to imagine this moment and convince herself that she could be in here and not die a little further inside, but she realized now that had been impossible. Seeing all of Ron�s things scattered about the room in his customary haphazard way--various pieces of parchment and quills, revealing devices, his collection of sneakoscopes--was enough to break her once again. Tears pooled in her eyes, stinging them; she had thought her tear ducts couldn�t physically produce any more, but they proved her wrong. Defiantly, she kept the tears at bay, taking a deep, but shaky breath which reverberated in the silence.

�Mum,� Jack said, laying a hand on her shoulder that made her stiffen immediately, �you don�t have to do this, you know... I can take care of everything. I know how hard it is for you to be here-�

�No,� she said flatly.

He took his hand off, as if afraid he�d offended her, and she heard him let out a heavy sigh that made her instantly hate herself. She turned around to face him, drawing him into an embrace that caught him off-guard.

�I�m sorry, Jack, I�m so sorry,� she whispered. �You�re only trying to help-�

�Mum, don�t apologize... You have nothing to apologize for. I know how much you�re hurting.�

�You�re hurting too,� she said. �We all are. And I�m not making things any easier by lashing out at everyone.�

He shook his head. �You haven�t been,� he said. �God, don�t you know what a rock you�ve been for all of us? I could never get through the day if it weren�t for you. And the girls... you�ve kept them sane through all of this... You�re the one holding this family together, Mum.�

She laughed softly, almost more to herself than to him. A wistful laugh, carrying regret rather than amusement. �I wish I could believe that,� she said.

�Believe it.�

Whether he was saying these things because they were true or only to make her feel better, she wasn�t sure, but she was incredibly grateful for his attempt. Still, part of her--a large part--was so ashamed for having wallowed in her grief, so much so that her son would even have to say these words to her. Her children had been suffering as much as she had, and she knew they needed her to pull herself back together somehow.

However impossible it seemed at that moment.

�Are you sure you still want to go through with this?� Jack said.

Without answering him, Hermione looked around the room once again, marveling at the fact that every corner of it was pure Ron. He had left his indelible mark in every inch of this space, she thought. His presence was as palpable as the sad air that hung over them. And being here, it was killing her slowly, more and more as the seconds passed. Still, she could not make herself walk away.

At length, she said quietly, �I have to. Your father deserves that much.�

At this he nodded without saying anything else, and stepped further inside. Hermione, meanwhile, moved instinctively towards Ron�s desk, her fingers lovingly running over the fine, aged wood of the surface, its rough grooves reminding her of the way Ron had always wanted everything in his life to have character. To have substance and be genuine just like him.

She brought her hand to the chain that dangled on her neck; she�d slipped Ron�s wedding band through it so that it would always be with her, and she closed her hand on it, hoping that would be enough to bring some ounce of comfort to her, but it didn�t, really. All it made her do was miss him all that much more.

She felt a gentle squeeze on her shoulder, and she smiled, patting the hand that was there. �I�m fine, Jack,� she said.

�The hell you are.�

�Harry?� She turned around, her eyes flooding as soon as she saw him. �Harry, what are you doing here?�

He took her in his arms, his hand circling her back comfortingly, just as he had when Ron had been in serious condition after his werewolf attack, just as he had when Jack had been taken from her and Ron for those terrifying weeks. And just as he had then, he had managed to give her some semblance of reassurance.

�You�re a terrible liar, Granger,� he said.

She smirked at him, through the blur of her tears. �That�s Weasley to you, Potter,� she said. She hugged him again. �Thank you for coming.�

Jack clapped him on the shoulder. �I�m glad you�re here, Uncle Harry.�

Harry nodded. �You didn�t think I�d leave you to do this all by yourselves, did you?� he said, then he turned to Hermione. �Ginny wanted to come here too, but Luke... he�s having a particularly rough go of it today-�

Hermione silenced him with a squeeze of the hand. She was touched that he had come at all; she knew what it had taken for him to be here today, after everything he had had to go through in the last few days, after the way he seemed to have wanted to shut all of the world out in his pain.

�Ron would understand,� she said. �And he�d be really grateful that you were here for us.�

Harry broke the gaze and turned away. She knew this was just as painful for him as it was for her; after all, their lives had been intertwined for over three decades now. They had grown up together, become adults together, started families together.

And now one of them was gone.

Harry sat himself on the edge of Ron�s desk, then reached over to pick up one of Ron�s sneakoscopes, which he had kept in a random scatter amongst the papers and quills and bottles of ink. Harry looked at it for a good ten seconds before laughing softly.

�Blimey, he really did have a lot of rubbish, didn�t he?� he said.

Hermione smiled, taking the sneakoscope from him. �That�s the one Viktor gave him,� she said.

�Oh,� Harry said. �Well, lucky he didn�t break this one, then.�

Hermione started out laughing, but without warning, the laughter quickly shifted into something else, and before she knew it, Harry had wrapped his arms protectively around her again.

�It�s going to be all right,� he whispered. �You know Ron would be the first to tell us that he never would have left us unless he knew we were strong enough to keep living...�

She pushed him off gently. She couldn�t hear this right now. Not right now. She didn�t want to think about her husband leaving them. She didn�t care how strong Ron might have thought she was; the thought of living the rest of her life without him seemed too dim a prospect to her, one she didn�t want to have to accept.

Not ever.

�What are we doing?� she said suddenly.

Jack opened his mouth as if to start saying something, but didn�t continue.

�What the bloody hell are we doing?� she said. �We�re tidying up his office--putting away his things as if he�d never existed--and there is no proof that he is really gone!�

�Hermione...� Harry tried to approach her, but Hermione stepped out of his way.

�No!� she said. �Please don�t try to comfort me. Please don�t try to tell me it�s going to be okay, and that I need to accept he�s never coming back. Because I don�t know that he won�t come back, don�t you see?� Again, she closed her hand around his wedding band. �I would know. I would know if my husband died! I would feel it!�

�Mum, I know this is hard-�

�Don�t,� she said. �Don�t say it, I know what you�re going to say. You�re both looking at me like I�m mad, don�t you think I know what you�re thinking? You�re thinking, Hermione�s just in denial. She�s just a grieving widow. But this is not just wishful thinking talking here, don�t you understand?�

�Hey,� Harry said, �hey, we�re not the enemy here, all right? We�re listening. We know this is tearing you apart inside. It�s tearing all of us apart. And I would love nothing more than to believe you�re right, I really would, Hermione. But... Ron wouldn�t have wanted you to cling to false hope-�

�No, Harry,� she said. �Ron wouldn�t have wanted me to give up hope in the first place. If he were in my shoes right now, he would fight for me too, and I am going to fight for him-�

�Wait a minute, wait a minute,� Jack said. �What are you saying, Mum?�

�I�m saying I know my husband�s alive, Jack. And I know he�s in trouble. Someone has to help him!�

�Mum, please... listen to what you�re saying... we found his remains-�

�You found remains. But there is no proof whatsoever that they are your father�s!�

Jack and Harry exchanged pained glances, then Jack came forward--cautiously, as if afraid she would flee if he came too close. �His ring... his ring was found near the body...�

�All that proves is that he was there,� she said. �For all we know, those could be Snape�s remains, Jack! And your father could have got away at the last minute, which means Voldemort is out to find him too!�

Jack didn�t seem to know what to say in response, but he seemed determined to let Hermione get this all out of her system.

�There are things Muggles do to identify remains,� she said. Desperate, she turned to Harry. �Harry, back me up on this--you know what they�re called, right? DNA tests... DNA tests, Jack. We could run a DNA test on the remains to see if-�

�Mum, please,� he said. �Please just stop this. Don�t do this to yourself. What would any of this accomplish, other than intensify everyone�s pain?�

Hermione couldn�t believe it. She couldn�t believe she was hearing this from her own son.

�Before we declare him dead once and for all, don�t you think we can at least do this to be sure? Don�t you think your father deserves that much?�

�You know that�s not how it�s done in the wizarding world-�

�Damn the wizarding world, then!� Hermione spat out. Of all the things she had expected him to say, she had never expected him to throw those words her way. They felt like a stinging slap to the face. �After everything he has given to the wizarding world, it can�t do him this one favor??�

�Mum-�

�Excuse me...�

Ben Foster stood at the door, obviously well aware he had just interrupted something, but he made no move to leave.

�I�m... sorry to intrude,� he said. �Weasley, I need to speak with you right now on an urgent matter.�

�What is it, sir?�

Foster walked in, and answered Jack�s question in a low voice, but Hermione was able to make out the words nevertheless. �There�s been a break-in at Gringotts,� he said. �We think dark wizards were involved. They broke into Snape�s vault.�

Jack�s face went pale, and immediately, he turned back to Hermione. �Mum, I�m sorry, it�s an emergency... I�ve got to go... Uncle Harry, will you-�

�Of course,� Harry said. �I�ll stay here with your mum, don�t worry. Go do what you have to do.�

Jack was looking at Hermione; clearly he was searching her face for some sort of softening. Finally, he approached her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. �I love you, Mum,� he said. �I�m sorry.�

He disappeared with Foster moments later, leaving Hermione, still shaken, still drained, slumped up against Ron�s desk.

�I meant it,� Harry said softly. �I�ll stay here for as long as you need me.�

She reached up to squeeze his hand once more and smiled. �Thank you, but... I think I�ll be all right, Harry.�

He seemed worried. �Are you sure?�

�Yeah,� she said softly. �I think I just need to be alone in here... do you mind?�

�No, but... I just want to make sure you�ll be... okay.�

�Go on,� she said. �I think your son needs you more right now.�

He drew her into him, kissing the top of her head. �If you need anything... anything... you know where to go.�

She nodded, then felt him disapparate. She heard a noise at the door moments later, and, thinking it must have been Harry, who had returned, she said, �What�s the matter, did you forget something-�

But it wasn�t Harry. It was Draco Malfoy.

�Well,� he said silkily, �if it isn�t the grieving widow...�

Her ears were burning with all the things she wanted to say to him at that moment, but somehow she found the strength to actually hold back. The last thing she wanted to do at that moment was take his bait.

But unfortunately, this only seemed to encourage Malfoy. He stepped inside the room, and unconsciously, Hermione took a step backwards, eliciting a smile from his face.

�What�s the matter, can�t find your voice?� he said. �Oh that�s right, you must be too torn up to speak. After all, it is your own bloody fault that your husband is dead.�

The shock of his words was too much for Hermione�s already numb brain. She stared back at him, dumbstruck, wondering how anyone in this world could be so bloody callous.

�Tell me, your Excellency, do you typically let your personal relationships affect your judgment?�

�What are you blathering on about, Malfoy?� she said, forcing her vocal chords to work. �What the hell do you know about what went on? All of this had been confidential-�

He shook his head in a clearly taunting manner. �Good news travels fast,� he said, making acid pool in Hermione�s stomach. �Don�t forget I have my connections. �

He came a bit closer, picking up a quill from Ron�s desk and looking at it derisively before tossing it back down, as if it were radioactive.

�He was in over his head,� he said. �It was so obvious! And if you had had any sort of common sense as Deputy Minister, you would have told him so!�

�How dare you...�

�How dare I what? Speak the truth? It was a stupid idea to begin with, and you know it. Come on! Going back in time to play hero? Oh, but yes, I forgot... he was the �Ministry�s best Auror� at one time, silly me...�

This was almost more than she could take. If she didn�t stop this right now, there was no telling what she would be capable of. �I�m warning you, Malfoy, one more word...�

But he kept on ignoring her. �Well, so much for being the best Auror the Ministry�s ever seen. He can�t even save his own pathetic life-�

A loud crack broke through the air, and it took a few seconds before Hermione realized her hand had made contact with Malfoy�s cheek. There was a large, ugly red welt forming there now, where she had struck him.

�Shut your filthy mouth!� she said, trembling with rage. �If I ever hear you say another word against my husband, I swear to God, I�ll-�

�You�ll what?� Malfoy said. His bloody smile unnerved her to the very core. �You�ll what, strike a fellow Ministry official again? I�ll do you a favor this one time, since you are still so obviously in a haze of mourning and don�t quite know what you�re doing. I won�t press charges against you for assaulting a member of the Ministry.�

�You son of a-�

�Tut, tut, Hermione... You never used to curse.� He shook his head at her again, the way a parent might shake a head at a child. �That husband of yours really did drag you down, didn�t he? Not that you had that much further to go, of course. You are a Mudblood after all.�

Hermione never wanted to bring harm to anyone more than she did at that moment. It was only the thought of Ron that held her back. But Malfoy seemed to sense his internal struggle, and was clearly enjoying the conflict playing out on her face.

�My condolences, your Excellency.�

She watched him walk out the door, and when she was sure he was long gone, she walked to the door and slammed it with all her might. Then she slumped against the door, sliding down to the ground, and the dam that had been holding her tears back all this time finally broke open.