Chapter 12: In This Moment

Whatever had gone on between Ron and Hermione since yesterday afternoon, it seemed to have put everything that happened behind them for good. Harry knew they had gone somewhere early this morning; they had probably thought he hadn't heard a thing when they were attempting to sneak out, but Harry had always been a light sleeper--Ron of all people should have remembered that--and he woke immediately as soon as he heard their hushed voices when they padded past his room. For a moment, he was transported back to their school days, at least the last three years-worth, after Ron and Hermione had finally ended their long, drawn-out dance and gotten together just as everyone had been predicting for years. Not too long after that, it seemed Ron was always sneaking off early to meet Hermione somewhere, always thinking that Harry hadn't heard him, even though he would inevitably stub his toe on the foot of his bed as he was making his great escape, and then mumble a few choice profanities under his breath on the way out.

At least, thought Harry with a smile, Ron didn't stub his toe this morning.

"Oy, Harry!"

The sound of a fist pounding furiously at the door startled him, making him nearly come out of his skin. Blimey, he thought, why am I so jumpy tonight?

"What's taking you so long, mate? Aren't you ready yet?"

He flashed a look of annoyance at the door, half-wishing Ron could see it, but also aware that the poor chap was only anxious to make sure that everything went as smoothly as possible. Harry supposed he couldn't really blame him for wanting everything to be perfect for Hermione.

"I know, I know," he said, frowning as he examined his reflection in the mirror.

"Are you almost done?"

He sighed. "Yeah, just about..."

Ron seemed satisfied with that answer at first, but then it seemed he wasn't, because a few seconds later, he added just for good measure, "All right, then... But hurry it up, would you? We'll be late... We're supposed to meet everyone at eight o'clock..."

Harry tilted his head and gave himself a once-over. His eyes automatically trailed upwards to his hair, which, of course, wasn't cooperating. Not that it ever did. He brought a hand to his crown, trying to flatten the stubborn pieces that simply refused to lay down, but to no avail. No matter how hard he tried to force them to lay flat, they still seemed to have a life of their own, and worse--determined to taunt him. Desperate, he pulled out his wand at last and said the only thing he could think of at the moment, "Reparo..."

It worked for a while, or so he thought, but the disobedient locks sprung upwards once again before long, as if deliberately repelling the spell.

"Oh the hell with it," he muttered, stuffing his wand back in his pocket. He didn't even know why he cared so much about his hair looking especially decent tonight, or his dress robes looking properly pressed, or his glasses being free of smudges--this was only an intimate party among friends, he reminded himself, as he had done so about a billion times already tonight.

What was there to make a fuss over, anyway? This was nothing at all like those grand galas Edmond Devon was known for throwing the Cannons on a regular basis; there would be no need to impress any league officials or team owners, or look proper next to his teammates, or even prepare himself for the inevitable barrage of hungry cameras and quills from the press. It would just be a quiet, tasteful evening at the local alehouse tonight, with Ron and Hermione and Hagrid.

And Ginny and Colin as well.

Somewhere in the back of his throat, a groan was begging to come out. And now it was moving downwards, down into the very pit of his stomach where something--he didn't know what, but he could have sworn it was made of lead--had been sitting for the last few hours.

This is insane, he thought. It's just a simple birthday party for one of my closest and dearest friends, and I have to go and be nutters and wring my hands over it...

He had analyzed it over and over in his head, but he still couldn't come up with a satisfactory answer as to why he seemed to be dreading tonight to this outrageous degree.

Whatever the reason, however, it was too late to back out now, anyway. And in any event, he just couldn't do that to Hermione. It was bad enough he had forgotten her birthday in the first place, but he would really be asking for it if he were to skip the party that he himself had put together to make up for the near-catastrophe.

No, he thought. There was just no way around it. He had to go.

It wouldn't be so bad, though... would it? It would be Hermione's night, anyway, and he was sure he could set aside whatever misgivings he had about tonight long enough to make sure she was happy. And it wasn't as if he would have to be alone in a room with Colin. He would have Ron and Hermione and Hagrid to talk to at the very least, and he and Ginny were friends, after all.

Yes, he thought, they were friends now. True friends. It amazed him that they had come this far in the span of only a few weeks, that until he had come back to Hogwarts, he had thought of her only as his best friend's little sister, someone he would see from time to time on holidays or infrequent visits to The Burrow. And now she was so much more than that. Now she was someone he couldn't imagine not seeing on a daily basis, someone with whom he delighted in sharing his excitement whenever he had a breakthrough with one of his students, or open up to about the long healing process of losing his Quidditch career.

He couldn't imagine his life without her anymore. What a waste all those years had been, the ones he had let go by him without ever getting to know her, to see her for what she was, to let her see him.

"Harry?"

This time it was Hermione's voice, and he knew he couldn't stall much longer. He looked at his reflection one last time, running his palm over his dress robes to smooth them, then grabbed Gilderoy Lockhart's book from his wardrobe.

"I'm coming..."

"Where in the bloody hell did you ever find this??"

Ron's eyes had widened so much, Harry thought they would pop right out of their sockets. They hadn't yet, but they surely would any minute now, given that Ron looked as though he were ready to erupt momentarily into fits of hysterical laughter. Thankfully, Hermione was there to keep the dam from breaking.

"I'll take that back, thank you very much," she said coolly, prying Magical Me from Ron's hands and smoothing over the cover to remove any fingerprints Ron may have left. "Harry, this was so incredibly thoughtful!! I love it, thank you!!" She reached over and kissed Harry on the cheek, leaving Ron to continue the herculean feat of keeping a straight face.

"Seriously, mate," he said to Harry, "where did you find it? I thought they would have stopped printing his rubbish by now, considering he was a first-class fraud..."

"So he embellished a little, so what?"

"Embellish? He flat out lied throughout most--if not all--of that, love."

Hermione, apparently, was not amused. "Hmph..."

Ron, perhaps getting only warmed up, added bravely, "Will you be drawing hearts over all the pages of this book too?"

Everyone at the table resorted to coughing, gasping, and clearing their throats--anything to avoid laughing at that moment. Hermione, for her part, merely narrowed her eyes at Ron and said silkily, "You'd better watch it, Ron Weasley, or I may just have to take back my answer to a particular question you asked this morning..."

At that, Ron shut up instantly, which Harry--not to mention the rest of the guests--noticed immediately. Hagrid was the first to say what they were all thinking.

"Wha's that all about, Ron?"

It had been hard to miss the glow Hermione had had about her all day, but Harry had simply attributed it to whatever romantic surprise Ron must have put together for her this morning. It wasn't until now, until seeing the way Hermione--and Ron, for that matter--beamed at the question that Harry finally guessed it.

"No, you... you didn't..." Harry was eying both of them carefully, certain that he was reading their faces correctly--not that it wasn't completely obvious to everyone now. "You did!! Blimey, I can't believe you finally found the nerve!!"

Hermione laughed, then slowly brought up her left hand. Sure enough, the undeniable proof was right there: a sparkler of a sapphire ring that glimmered on her ring finger.

"Hermione!!" Ginny squealed. "Oh my God, he finally did it!!" She got up from her chair and took Hermione into an embrace, then said to Ron, "It's about damn time, too..."

He grinned. "You'd better watch your language, young lady, or I'll have to alert Mum..."

"Bad news, Hermione, you really are stuck with us now..."

Harry had almost forgotten that Colin was here as well, until he too stood, then leaned over and whispered something in Ginny's ear. Ginny blushed immediately, and Harry thought he heard her say softly, "Not right now, Colin..."

But he must not have listened, because he tapped a fork on the side of his glass to call for everyone's attention.

Harry resisted the urge to punch him in the face right here and now.

"Well, since it seems to be the night of big announcements," he said, "how about I throw another log into the fire?"

Ginny looked as if she wanted to stop him from going further, but didn't know how. Harry caught her eye for a split second, before she averted her gaze and looked back at Colin.

"Ron, I think it's only appropriate that you're here, because I was hoping I would get to ask a member of her family for their blessing..." He slid his arm around Ginny's waist and pulled her to him. "I've asked Ginny to marry me... and she's accepted..."

Harry felt the air seep out of his lungs. For a moment time stood still, or at least he did, as the sound of everyone's congratulations and their giddy laughter faded to a dim noise in his head, muffled by the almighty throbbing in his ears.

He had to get out of here. Now. Fast. Everyone was still in the tangle of embraces when he quietly rose from his chair, and he had almost left the table, until Ginny suddenly turned her head and their eyes locked.

Forcing a smile, which he hoped would look convincing enough to avoid any questioning looks from Ron or Hermione, he looked at her, and somehow he found composure enough to say, "Congratulations..."

If that was pain in her eyes at his words, he didn't know. He didn't ask, nor did he say much more of anything else for the rest of the night, but of course by then, the attention had been permanently shifted over to the two brides-to-be and their elated fiances. Harry didn't know how he ever managed to go through the motions for the rest of the party, but eventually, after Ginny and Colin said their goodbyes, he had to get away. Muttering some excuse, which must have made Ron and Hermione suspicious, he nevertheless slipped away, managing to escape interrogation.

The cold night air knifed him in his lungs when he took it in. He bit back tears, as a result, but fought to steady himself. The last thing he wanted was to have bloodshot eyes when he walked back in; Ron and Hermione would go nutters for sure.

"Damn it, why tonight, of all nights?"

Harry looked up, surprised to hear another voice nearby. He saw two figures up ahead; it was Ginny and Colin.

"I'm not going," Colin was saying, "they can get someone else..."

"Come on, don't be silly... It's got to be an important news conference or they wouldn't have asked you to go..."

"Fine, but I'm going to apparate with you back to your place--the least I can do is see you home..."

Harry saw her shake her head. "It's all right, you don't have to do that. I think I'll go back inside and celebrate Hermione's birthday some more. I'll see you tomorrow, though, all right?"

He had to look away as soon as he saw Colin lean towards her for a kiss.

Damn it, he thought, fresh tears stinging his eyes. Why now? Why did it take me so bloody long to really see her?

"Harry?"

He gasped, realizing she was standing right before him.

"What're you doing out here?"

Lamely, he said, "I... needed some air..."

"Oh." After a breath, she said, "Going to go back inside, then?"

"In a bit."

She nodded, reaching for the doorknob, when Harry felt a sudden surge of courage come over him. "Ginny, wait..."

Perhaps she had a feeling what this would be about, because she didn't look at him, though she stopped.

"Look, I... I know I have absolutely no right to be telling you this, but... I... I don't think you should marry him..."

There was shock in her eyes when they met his.

"What??"

"Ginny, you don't want to do this... I can tell..."

There was no turning back now. He'd probably ruined any chance they had for a friendship--and the thought of that broke his heart--but the words had already been said now.

"What... what do you think you're doing?" she said. The pain in her voice stung him. "Look, I know we're friends... I know we've gotten closer over the past few weeks, but I'm sorry, you can't just stand there and tell me what to do--and especially not about this!"

"You know it's the wrong thing to do, Ginny," he said softly. "I know you do..."

"What does it matter to you anyway? What does it matter to you whether I marry Colin Creevey-"

"I... I love you..."

The words seemed to have taken her completely off-guard, and in truth, they had taken him off-guard as well. He hadn't planned on saying it, hadn't expected it at all, but the fact was, it was true.

He knew it, with every fiber of his being.

"You love me."

"Yes."

"Are you sure about that, Harry?"

He had expected her to be in shock, but he hadn't expected her to say this.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means," she said, "do you really love me, or are you just tired of being lonely? Or maybe you're just tired of losing things in your life? I can't fill the void of your failed Quidditch career. I won't-"

Blimey, why was she saying this? Why wasn't she hearing what he was trying to tell her?

"You're not listening to me, Ginny! You can't marry him!"

"He's a good man-"

"I'm not saying he's not," Harry said.

"He loves me, Harry," she said, and he realized she was crying. "He loves me. He wants to make a life with me. How can you expect me to say no to that?"

Saying the only thing left to say, he murmured, "Because you don't love him..."

"What? How can you... how can you even say that?"

"Because not once have I heard you give that as a reason for marrying him." He came closer to her, and tentatively cupped her face. "Tell me you love him, Ginny," he said softly. "Tell me you love him and you want a life with him, and I'll walk away... I won't stand in your way, I promise..."

"I... I can't keep doing this, Harry..." Her voice was barely louder than a whisper now.

"Doing what?"

"This... Putting my life on hold, waiting for something that's never going to happen..."

"What are you talking about?"

"Nine years, Harry... I've loved you for nine years--that's more than half my life! And I waited for you all that time, until... until I realized I deserved more than to be the girl you always overlooked. I couldn't keep hanging on to some silly schoolgirl fantasy, living for the day when you'd finally see me as someone more than just Ron's baby sister, or the girl who would follow you around school and blush madly whenever you looked in her direction." She looked away, but he tilted her face back up to look in his eyes. "I won't be your consolation prize, Harry."

"Is that what you think?"

"Harry, don't," she said, "please..."

"You think you're a consolation prize? I love you, Ginny Weasley. I don't know why it took me nine years to realize it, but I was a bloody fool not to see it before now. And it's not because you're my best friend's little sister, and it's not because I'm lonely... and it's not because you're a consolation prize. You could never be a consolation prize..."

"Harry-"

He put a finger to her lips. "It's because I can't picture the rest of my life without seeing you in every frame... and because I don't know anymore how I ever got through life before I realized what a gift you are to me." He smiled at her, watching her face, knowing that somehow, he had gotten through to her. "So what do you say to that?"

It was a while before she finally answered, when he realized they had been standing in stillness for a while now, while everything else had faded into the background.

She smiled, and looked up at him, then whispered, "I say... shut up and kiss me, Harry Potter."

And so he did.