glassJAwchris: ehh.. nothing, just got up, still a bit tired
DeshRendar: yeah...me too..
DeshRendar: i need to call ina nd find out my work schedule for express
glassJAwchris: well what are ya waiting for?
DeshRendar: my mom was on the phone, and i wanted to check my email and stuff
DeshRendar: hey chris?
glassJAwchris: yo?
DeshRendar: can i ask you something?
DeshRendar: it's kind of weird
glassJAwchris: weird huh, i suppose i can try
DeshRendar: it's kinda random, and it's kinda been bothering mefor a long time...but
i've tried to shove it out of my mind and it keeps coming back
DeshRendar: ...?
glassJAwchris: i think my internet crapped out, i didn't get anything after the
it's kinda ramdom one
DeshRendar: that's all i said
DeshRendar: like
DeshRendar: this is so hard for me to say
DeshRendar: i guess
DeshRendar: why do trida and kyle constantly flirt in front of my face.
DeshRendar: like he says it's nothing
DeshRendar: and i finally got up some balls to talk to her
DeshRendar: and i'm really fucking jealous
DeshRendar: because not only is she cool, she's hitting on my boyfrined
DeshRendar: maybe it's just because i'm paranoid about a lot of stuff right now
DeshRendar: but i guess it seems like so much more is jumping out at me - things that
bother me, i guess
glassJAwchris: as far as i can tell, its harmless, i understand where you're
coming from, but all the facts just point at you don't need to worry, mainly that
shes some 1000 miles away
DeshRendar: yeah but i mean, look what happened with that chick from maryland
DeshRendar: plus it's not like i can't see it, they talk about meeting up and whatnot,
which is fine, i mean i don't care, you're friends, you want to meet eachother, but with the
constant "<3"s and "I love you" and crap like that that's exhanged
DeshRendar: i guess, maybe it comes down to that I'm really fucking jealous.
DeshRendar: Not only is she a hell of a lot cooler than I am
DeshRendar: She gets my boyfriend flirting with her
DeshRendar: when he rarely flirts with me anymore.
glassJAwchris: i really don't think shes that cool
DeshRendar: we were talking about psychology and stuff, which is why i thought that
DeshRendar: i don't know chris, i've never been like this before
DeshRendar: downright jealous
DeshRendar: i don't even know what i am - but i figure that's gotta be it
DeshRendar: because i've never been jealous before, and i've never been this way
before
glassJAwchris: things like this always happen, as long as it stays flirting its
fine, and as long as it goes away after a short while, it should just fade into the
background
glassJAwchris: i understand
DeshRendar: it's been going on for a long time though
DeshRendar: like at least a few months
DeshRendar: if not the better part of a year
DeshRendar: maybe longer, i don't know....
DeshRendar: I mean, granted i flirt with people - friends of mine from crew, my
friends from college, girls, hell even you
DeshRendar: but I'm not like
DeshRendar: "I love you Chris."
DeshRendar: ...
glassJAwchris: right
DeshRendar: what do you think?
DeshRendar: I go to you because you know both kyle and her
DeshRendar: and you know me
glassJAwchris: without knowing the future, i'm very sure that nothing is going
to happen between them, beyond maybe hanging out, and that would be a far
stretch in my opinion, concidering niether has the ability to travel that far
DeshRendar: okay, can you put yourself in my place, knowing me, and is what i say
rationalized?
DeshRendar: or am i flipping out over nothing
glassJAwchris: i do agree with your reaction, myself being the jealous type as
well, believe me, but i think just confronting him about it and even talking to her
like you've done might ease everything out for ya
DeshRendar: i've asked him about it though, i totally called him on it one day
DeshRendar: i remember it
DeshRendar: it was some kind of post about he got gmail (from me), and was asking if
anyone had anything to offer for an account because he had invites
DeshRendar: and i remember, she posted "SEX"
DeshRendar: and i was like "Kyle you know I really don't appreciate this, it doesn't sit
right with me, i don't think that's right to do this in front of my face"
DeshRendar: and he got kinda exasperated with me i think
DeshRendar: and was like "fine, whatever"
DeshRendar: but i mean it kinda means a lot to me, you know?
glassJAwchris: yeah, at this point, i think he just needs to understand your
side of the situation
DeshRendar: i told him, and said exactly everything i wanted tos ay
DeshRendar: about what i thought
DeshRendar: how it looks to me
DeshRendar: and............nothing.
DeshRendar: i just keep seeing this more
DeshRendar: i guess my insecurities are at an all time peak right now as well
DeshRendar: i'm sorry to bother you with this
DeshRendar: i feel horrible, and like i've talked to maresa about it
glassJAwchris: well as i said, i'm pretty sure nothing will come of this, but i do
understand exactly where you are coming from
DeshRendar: but i figured you'd be the most help
glassJAwchris: its good to talk about it, just this between should hopefully have
eased you at least a little
DeshRendar: yeah definitely
glassJAwchris: well good
DeshRendar: then i guess i start wondering too, if like there's a part of me that doens't
like, fulfill what he needs almost, so he has to get that from another girl or something
DeshRendar: like maybe i'm lacking somewhere
glassJAwchris: thats natural, those thoughts do occur, more often with some
than others, but don't use it as a basis of living
DeshRendar: but then i want to know what i'm lacking.
DeshRendar: and i guess, why does he flirt with her - but not me.
glassJAwchris: who says you are lacking anything, don't follow it blindly
DeshRendar: but the flirting thing?
glassJAwchris: its nothing, its something that guys do, but it really doesn't
mean anything, especially in this situation, i don't see it meaning anything
DeshRendar: you really don't think so?
DeshRendar: sorry i went to the bathroom
DeshRendar: because i mean, she's sent him a letter....and then this talk about meeting
up
glassJAwchris: yeah, but i don't even think that they are going to meet up
DeshRendar: hmm, really?
DeshRendar: because i mean you know kyle...he loves to travel and magic is the perfect
excuse
glassJAwchris: thats assuming things
DeshRendar: no no no i'm just saying he loves to travel, and magic is his excuse to
travel
DeshRendar: not that that's his excuse to go see her or something, sorry i can see how
you could have misinterpreted that
DeshRendar: jeez sorry that sounded horrible :-(
glassJAwchris: its ok, i mis understood
DeshRendar: argh that probably sounded horrible :-(
DeshRendar: because now it sounds like i don't trust him at all...when i do infinitely.
glassJAwchris: no, i get it now, i just misread it, don't worry
DeshRendar: him and maresa are the highest ranking people on my list
DeshRendar: speaking of, me and maresa were supposed to get together today...no
answer on her part
DeshRendar: that's cool
DeshRendar: sorry to put you through all that
glassJAwchris: well hey, i'm practically starving, i need to go find some food,
but i'll talk to you soon, k?
glassJAwchris: hey hey.. no no, no sorrys
DeshRendar: alright yeah
DeshRendar: thank you for listening
DeshRendar: i appreciate it a million times a million
