| HOT TIPS FOR COMPELLING SENTENCES 1. Combine a series of little, choppy sentences into one smooth sentence: a. The tornado struck. b. It struck without warning. c. It caused damage. d. The damage was extensive. 2. Use connecting words (but, also, nevertheless, however, in addition) to show how ideas relate. a. The speaker was young, nervous, and inexperienced. b. She mesmerized the crowd. 3. Add details to complete the picture. a. She stood there, looking at us. 4. Watch out for run-ons (multiple sentences jammed together. a. I thought his boring lecture would never end my eyelids were drooping my feet were going numb. 5. Watch our for ramblers � run-ons with �ands� inserted (this is NOT the solution). a. Herby was clumsy and he served the salad and it spilled on everything and my mother about had a fit and she screamed and the cat hid under the stairs. 6. Make all pronoun references clear. a. When he stuffed the parrot into the cage, it made an odd squeaky sound. (What? The parrot or the cage?) 7. Get rid of the deadwood. a. At this point in time, in reference to your memo of September 1, it is our unanimous feeling that further deliberations will yield a decision on this issue. 8. Avoid jargon. a. Various new mandates are causing conceptual consternation among employees. 9. Avoid shifts in number. a. A person should be careful when they accept a new job. 10. Avoid shifts in voice. a. I am walking down the street on the cold, clear day, and suddenly you see this dark cloud on the horizon. 11. Keep sentence elements (clauses, phrases) parallel � that is, matching in form. a. Muss Blakely was intelligent, plus she had beauty, and people often commented on her sense of humor. 12. Avoid There is or There are as sentence beginnings. Be direct. a. There is a lot of unrest among employees since the new vacation policy went into effect. 50 Telling Sentences The room was vacant. Advertisements can be misleading. She has a fantastic personality. The F grade should be abolished. The party was great. Camping is a rewarding experience. I was very embarrassed. My parents are great people. My room is a mess. Reality set in. The concert was disappointing. She changed. My mother bugs me. The weather was perfect. The math test was a killer. A student�s life is hard. The food at the party was incredible. The streets were crowded. Those girls are snobs. The puppy was a terror. The jocks think they�re cool. He is artistic. He looked guilty. The afternoon was a romantic one. The weather made me nostalgic. The principal was effective. The relationship changed. The game was a close one. The drive in the car was uncomfortable. The book was intriguing. School is boring. Haste makes waste. Teenagers should not have curfews. They lived happily ever after. My friend was steaming mad. The climb was exhausting. This school has great school spirit. The roller coaster was the scariest ride. The pizza tasted good. The crossword puzzle was tricky. The loss was devastating. The new student was lonely. The living room was an inviting place. The fire drill went miserable. She acted older than her age. The substitute teacher was strange. People can make or break a party. The speaker got everyone�s attention. |